Mew: So what's gonna happen?
GPS: You will be punished!
Mew: H-how? D:
GPS: I don't own Pokemon!
Mew: Tell me!
Mew and Charmander were walking right behind Alakazam and were directed into an office in the corner of the hall.
"Step inside," said Alakazam with his Russian accent. "So, I hear you two caused trouble in the cafeteria. Am I correct?"
"He did it!" shouted Mew. "He threw a cookie at me and it hurt! I just screamed because it hurt so much!"
"Well, she said she lived with Celebi, so I threw it at her since she lied," said Charmander.
"Who said what is not important," said Alakazam. "For punishment, both of you will remain after school to help clean up the huge mess. Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir," they both said simultaneously.
"Oh, and Mew, I'd like to have a few questions with you in private," said Alakazam. "You may leave, Charmander."
Charmander closed the door and Mew was very nervous. "Y-yes?" she said as sweat fell from her face.
"We have been getting reports about you being very disrespectful to the staff here and although I am the counselor, I would like to hear what has been going on."
"Um...can't you, like, see everything? You're Alakazam, after all," said Mew as she touched some of the spaghetti sauce on her head and sniffed it.
"Of course I can, child," he responded. "I just want to hear you say what you have done."
"Um...I'm not sure if I want to..." responded Mew.
"In that case, you'll just have to stay here until you finally tell me all your problems," said Alakazam as he dipped one of his spoons into a small cup of chocolate ice cream. "I don't want to be the enemy here. You should know that I am only trying to help, but I want to hear your side of the story to make things easier."
At the Hall of Origins...
Arceus was now back on his giant inner tube in the pool and drinking a glass of sparkling water. "Celebi, please come here," he stated.
The psychic/grass legendary floated towards her master and said, "Yes, my lord?"
"You added that 'secret ingredient' to the beans, didn't you?" asked Arceus as he drank the giant glass of water.
"Oh, yeah, she's bound to have a not-so-inconspicuous accident at an embarrassing moment," she chuckled and did back flips around.
"Good, she's bound to have a taste of her own medicine," laughed Arceus.
Back at the counselor's office...
Mew sighed and said, "Okay, so first of all, it started at the class. We were playing with blocks, but I wanted more so I grabbed about half of them with my tail. They started to complain so Mrs. Khan told me to go to time-out, I refused and threw a block at Mrs. Khan, but it hit her son in her pouch instead. He got mad and threw it at me and when I woke up, I was in the principal's office. Afterwards, she let me go to...Oh, no..." said Mew as she stopped for a second and felt something chemical occurring in her digestive track.
"What's wrong?" questioned Alakazam as he threw the ice cream he just finished and wiped off his small mouth and his whiskers.
"I...I..." she whined. PHBBT! Mew accidentally farted! Rather loudly at about 105 decibels, or a chainsaw that was right next to your ears. "Oh, no!" She said as she started whimpering. D':
Alakazam's look was priceless; it was a combination of stifling his laughter and trying to maintain a professional composure. "Please excuse yourself for the interruption of your flatulence," he said as he smiled slyly like the vulpine-like creature he was.
"I-I'm sorry! Forgive me!" she said as she had water forming in her eyes.
"I forgive you. Accidents happen. Resume your story."
"Okay, so she sent us to gym class. Coach Machamp told us what we were gonna hone our abilities and he asked us if we had questions. I asked him why was he wearing women's undergarments. I mean, seriously, why does he wear them? They look stupid. I mean, we are all naked, naturally, but-"
"Just continue the important parts," said Alakazam as he was now drinking a milkshake.
"Oh, that looks so yummy!" said Mew as she pointed at the milkshake. "Can I have some, please?"
"No," said Alakazam bluntly. "What happened afterwards?"
"His son Andrew the Machop told me that I shouldn't talk to his "pa" that way. Who calls their father 'pa'? It sounds utterly weird. Not that I would now since I don't have a daddy. Well, I guess you could say Arceus is my dad since he created me to be the ancestor of all Pokemon."
"I find it strange that my ancestor is you," said Alakazam. "I would be far more suitable for that title given my awesome knowledge and advanced maturity. So what happened then?"
"Machamp wanted his son to defend their family's pride and wanted us to fight. I'm, like, totally against fighting, so I hugged Machop. He somehow got scared by this and hid behind his father's legs."
"That adds up correctly so far, but you forgot something," said Alakazam.
"What is it?" asked Mew as she tilted her pink head.
"You pushed Machop."
"But that's because he poked me in my stomach! Have you ever been poked by a Machop? It hurts!"
"It shouldn't hurt; it's not very effective towards us psychics," he added as he slurped the strawberry liquid.
"But you weigh more than me!" she screamed loudly as she flapped her arms like crazy.
"Chill out," said Alakazam. "You can vent your frustrations, but keep your voice down."
"Fine. I pushed Machop. He cowered behind his father's elephant legs and l hugged him. He started crying and said I was mean then Coach Machamp started kissing and hugging him and all that gross stuff."
"Paternal love is a beautiful thing; he is a good man and many should respect his kindness. In fact, a lot of Pokemon children here do not have a father. I am an example; my father was a Hypno and my Alakazam mother had to take care of me. I have children of my own. His name is Daniel the Abra and is the second grade here. So what happened then?"
"I had to sit and watch everyone do their thing and then I got to go swimming later. With his permission, of course," said Mew. "Then that brings us to lunch. I had a Lunchable. Have you ever had a Lunchable? Or your son Daniel? Does he like Lunchables?"
"You're trailing off," pointed out Alakazam as he now opened a bottle of water.
"Okay, so I had a turkey and cheese sandwich Lunchable. It was so tasty! But I saw Machop by his lonesome so I went over to talk to him. I offered him a sandwich, but he told me someone was coming for him. His daddy arrived with some Kantoky fried chicken and protein shakes. So gross! But I guess they gotta preserve their muscles. Then his mommy Lucario arrived. Her name is Karen. That's kinda weird that she named herself that, unless she used to be a trainer's Pokemon, but who would give her the nickname Karen? Seriously." (No offense to anyone who has relatives named Karen, but be honest; has anyone actually named a Pokemon Karen, let alone a female Lucario that is hard to find?)
"You need to stay on topic. You seem to go off real easily," commented Alakazam.
"So we had lunch and I went back to the normal table. I sat in front of Tommy the Charmander and Piplup commented how gross beans are, but I didn't want him to hurt Celebi's feelings! I had to defend her, but Charmander thought I lied about the living with Celebi thing and he threw a cookie at me. It hurt and I screamed in pain! So Squirtle tried to hit me with Jell-O, but it hit Bellsprout, and-"
"I know the rest. You are indeed a...special one. I would like to see you after school for the rest of this week to see how your progress is doing. You may go back to class."
"Okay..." she said as she left the office. "Which way is it again?"
He face-palmed and sighed. "Follow me."
Mew finally arrived to class and Mrs. Khan smiled. "The children are about to nap. I think it would do you go if you took a nap as well."
"Yes!" said Mew. Mrs. Khan got out ten pillows and ten beach towels for the children to lie on and they began to sleep. Mew wished that she could use her powers to see what they were dreaming of, but she decided to dream herself. About ten minutes later, her stomach started growling again like in Alakazam's office.
"Oh, no, not this again," she whispered where no one could hear here. "Please be quiet."
Her stomach did not seem to care that Mew was getting desperate and that she would be a nuisance, so it facilitated her by causing her to break wind again! Phhhbt!
The 110-decibel fart woke up everyone and Machop, Bonsley, the baby in Mrs. Khan's pouch, and Oddish started crying loudly.
"Mew!" said Mrs. Khan. "Why did you do that?!"
"I didn't mean to!" she confessed. "This never happens after beans!"
"Well, I'm afraid that you're going to have to go to I.S.S.," said the teacher.
"What's that?" asked Mew.
"In school suspension. You have been very bad today. Now come here!" She grabbed Mew's paw and walked with her to Mrs. Sparks office. "This child needs to be disciplined. She passed gas in class and has caused multiple interruptions today." Mrs. Khan and left Mew and the Luxray principal by themselves.
"Mew? Is this true?" asked Mrs. Sparks as she lowered her glasses.
"Yes!" said Mew as she accidentally farted again. "I'm so sorry!"
"See that desk right outside of my office? You will sit there and nap there until the remainder of the day. There are two hours left and that is how you will spend it. And don't even think of trying to leave; I can see through walls, you know."
Mew sighed. "Okay. Yes, ma'am," she said and went outside and sat in the chair. Mrs. Luxray checked every now and then to see if Mew was still sitting. She was but she periodically tooted off and on. When three o'clock arrived, she went out and said, "Mew, it's time for you to go to the cafeteria and start cleaning the mess you helped created."
At the Hall of Origins...
"Sir!" said Uxie as he floated to Arceus. "Mew has to clean up the cafeteria since she got in trouble! Should I teleport her home now?"
"Nope," said Arceus. "She needs a good punishment. Bring her back when she finishes. I need a nap. You can handle the rest."
Back at school...
Mew and Charmander were both in the cafeteria cleaning up the mess. Mew had one of those little sticks they use to pick up litter while Charmander had a broom.
"This is your fault," said Charmander. "My daddy is gonna be so mad at me."
"You never should have thrown the cookie, stupid!" said Mew as she threw a piece of corn at Charmander.
"Enough!" said a Nidoking janitor. "Get to work or you will be in even more trouble!"
The two kindergartners did not say anything else and resumed working. They finally finished at 4:15 and Charizard, Charmander's dad, said, "What did my boy do?! Why is he so late?"
"He started a food fight in the cafeteria," said the Nidoking.
"WHAT?!" said the outraged flying fire dragon. "You get no Cocoa Pebbles for breakfast tomorrow as your punishment!"
"Aww, man..." groaned Tommy the Charmander as his Charizard father took him home. All the sudden, a light covered Mew and she was teleported home. Nidoking gasped at this and shook his head.
"Wow. I need to lay off those Red Tauros. They be messing with my head. Ugh."
At the Hall of Origins...
"Oh, boy, is Mew home?" said Kyogre who was swimming in the pool.
"Yep," said Manaphy who was playing beach volleyball with Phione and Cresselia.
"It was nice while it lasted," said Zekrom.
Mew's powers were restored and she teleported to Arceus' domain. "WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME!?" she roared, scaring Arceus awake.
"Mew!" he gasped nervously. "You're home earlier than expected!"
"I am late! I had to clean the cafeteria!" she yelled and slammed her pink backpack to the ground. "And I hate Hello Skitty! I told you I like My Little Ponyta!"
"So how was your first day?" he asked as he completely avoided her comment about her backpack.
"I hated it!" she shouted. "Don't ever do that again!"
"Oh, but I can't," said Arceus. "You need to learn behavioral skills and an education. You simply cannot stay the way you are, my darling."
"Why? What are you gonna do if I refuse?"
"If you don't, I will lock you in a cage of 5 cubic feet where you will be forced to eat nothing but Brussel sprouts, carrots, spinach, asparagus, and no sweets!"
She gasped loudly. "You wouldn't!"
"I would! Now do your homework!" he ordered.
"...I didn't get any. What do I do instead?" Mew asked.
"Do something quietly in your room. Just don't play that Icky Azalea or whatever her name is."
"Her name is-"
"Go!" he said. And so Mew went to her room to watch "Wheel of Fortune" and played on her Wii U. She knew that she would have to go tomorrow, so why not have fun until then?
GPS: This concludes her first day!
Mew: I didn't like it!
GPS: As long as the readers do, that matters! Right?