POLITICALLY CORRECT CINDERELLA

Approximately 100 + years ago, there lived a adolescent christened Cinderella. She lived with her biological father in a log cabin approximately 35 feet the Frightening Forest. Her mother had passed away when Cinderella was a toddler.

One day, Cinderella's father informed her that he had become well acquainted with a female referred to as Sal Iva, and intended to wed her. She had two biological daughters with her deceased spouse, christened Senot Bagg and Spoyled Bratt.

The day on which Cinderella's father and Sal Iva had reserved for the purpose being wed to one another came. That same day Sal Iva and her female adolescents moved their place of residence to the cabin belonging to Cinderella's father.

After approximately 1 year after Sal Iva and her daughters moved in, Cinderella's father became very ill and passed away. Sal Iva was traumatized by this incident, and was later diagnosed with a mental illness resulting from the trauma. Her daughters, who were behaviorally challenged (A/N: How do I say "brats" here while remaining politically correct???) soon started to insist that Cinderella do their chores for them , and Sal Iva made little protest. Soon Cinderella was doing all the house maintanance duties, along with other tasks relating to dressmaking and culinary arts.

One afternoon while Cinderella was engaged in sweeping the room in which Sal Iva slept, there was the sound of someone knocking at the front door. Cinderella opened it, and was given an invitation to a royal ball held by his Majesty King Robert Alexander Rufus Phillip of Relhaot in honor of the safe return of His Royal Highness Prince Robert Alfredo Henry Christopher Jeremiah from the kingdom of Chielie.

When Sal Iva deciphered the invitation she informed Cinderella that she would attend the royal function with her daughters, while Cinderella would cleanse the chimney. Cinderella was opposed to this, but she had no authority to deny her stepmothers order. When the evening for the ball arrived, Cinderella's stepmother and stepsisters left for the royal ball, while Cinderella sat in the ashes on the hearth which she had been instructed to dispose of and wept bitterly. While she was weeping, a middle aged woman in a sparkling gown appeared be the hearth. She informed Cinderella that she was her fairius godmotheirius [fairy godmother], and would transport Cinderella to the ball and provide her with a coach in the shape of a pumpkin, a gown made of scrap cloth, and a pair of shoes made from blown glass, if she would vow to be back to the cabin by the time the palace clock chimed twelve times. Cinderella agreed, and was provided with a coach in the shape of a pumpkin, and an attractive ball gown made from the most attractive pieces of scrap cloth that were in the cabin.

Cinderella thanked her fairius godmotheirius for the gifts, vowed to be home before the palace clock chimed twelve times, settled herself in the pumpkin shaped coach, and departed. When she arrived at the royal ball, a young man asked her to dance. She agreed, and while they were dancing she learned that the young man was His Royal Highness Prince Robert Alfredo Henry Christopher Jeremiah. They continuously danced until the palace clock chimed the first stroke of midnight. Cinderella was startled by the sound, and recalled that she was required to be home by the twelfth chime. She sprinted away from His Royal Highness Prince Robert Alfredo Henry Christopher Jeremiah and ran down to her coach, unintentionally slipping out of one of the blown glass shoes. There was not time to pick it up, so she continued running without it.

She transported herself into the coach, which ran home at a speed of 30 miles per hour. His Royal Highness Prince Robert Alfredo Henry Christopher Jeremiah could not follow her so quickly, and she soon was out of sight and he could not find her.

She arrived home just before the twelfth chime, after which the pumpkin shaped coach turned into a small pumpkin, her dress of scrap cloth disappeared and she was wearing her work dress, and the heel of her blown glass shoe broke.

She went inside the cabin, and began cleaning the chimney. She finished exactly 10 minutes before her stepfamily arrived home.

The next day His Royal Highness Prince Robert Alfredo Henry Christopher Jeremiah knocked on the door of the cabin and explained that the woman he wished to wed had left the night before before he found out her place of residence, and the only possible way he had of discovering this vital information was a blown glass shoe. He then ordered that all the women in the household be brought to him for the purpose of trying on the shoe.

First Sal Iva attempted to put the shoe on her foot. It would not go on, as her foot was of a magnitude greater than the shoe.

Then Senot Bagg and Spoyled Bratt attempted to put the shoe on their feet in turn. Both of their feet were also of a greater magnitude than the shoe.

Then Cinderella attempted to place the shoe on her foot. It was of a perfect magnitude and shape in relation to her foot. His Royal Highness Prince Robert Alfredo Henry Christopher Jeremiah determined that Cinderella was the person he wanted to wed, and Cinderella agreed to wed him. Their marriage ceremony was held one week from that day, and Cinderella assumed the title and role of Princess Ella Cinder Anne Petunia Rose Alyssa Jane.

His Royal Highness Prince Robert Alfredo Henry Christopher Jeremiah and his spouse Princess Ella Cinder Anne Petunia Rose Alyssa Jane lived happily for the rest of their lives, while Sal Iva and her tow adolescent daughters lived unhappily in the cabin approximately 35 feet from the Frightening Forest.

THE END