Starts with some Don/Tim stuff. Enjoy and review please!
It was a dream; Donnie knew it was a dream. It was the same dream that he had been having every night for nearly a year. But it was more than just a regular dream, it was also a memory so vivid in his mind that every little detail was still with him even after such a long time.
He was in his bedroom; the one that he had just recently moved away from. The outside air was chilled by snow and inside wasn't any better. The heater had broken and the windows wouldn't seal completely shut, but none of that mattered. None of that mattered because Timothy was there.
Donnie was sitting in his lap, savoring the warmth that radiated off the larger boy's body and the smell of vanilla ice cream wafted from his skin. Timothy moved his arms around Donnie, wrapping him in an embrace that was soft and warm and powerful.
It was a dream, none of it was real. Donnie kept on reminding himself that fact as Timothy's hands made their way to his waist. He knew it was a dream but it all felt so real. Every light touch, every sound, every movement had life. He didn't want it to be a dream. He wanted so desperately for it to be real.
Donnie took a sharp intake of breath as Timothy kissed at his jawline. The air of intimacy had suddenly grown heavier. The heat of Timothy's touch and the coldness of the outside world engulfed Donnie and he gave in. He tilted back his head, wrapped his arms around Timothy, felt the small amounts of muscle wrapped in a large layer of weight.
Everything was a memory just as much as it was a dream. Donnie had kept the memory of that night; the rush, the thrill, the never ending buzz of his first time. He wanted to stay in that moment, he wanted to loose himself again just as he had that night; feeling the touch of another person against his own skin.
A hand slipped up Donnie's shirt and started to rub soft circles on the small of his back. There was nipping at his neck and a second hand was resting on his thigh.
'Please.' He thought, 'Let me stay. Just this one time, let me stay here. I'll do anything, anything. Just let me live this one moment.'
He didn't know who he was begging; his own mind or another entity that could possibly control what happened while people slept.
Donnie felt a hot sensation growing in his belly as the hand on his thigh moved upwards, giving gentle squeezes as it did so. The soft kisses had stopped and all Donnie was left with was Timothy's face, eyes alight and face widened with his signature goofy smile.
"I love you, Don."
Those words were the trigger.
It was only a dream and Donnie had the dream enough times to know what was about to happen. His mind sat still, hoping beyond hope that this time would be different, this would be the one time that things went differently. He didn't hope hard enough.
Soon the sound of wailing sirens filled his ears. His vison turned watery; flashes of blue and red blinded him. The image of the dream changed to nothing but everlasting white, all while the sirens grew louder and louder and louder until Donnie felt his ears bleeding. He didn't wake up until the sour taste of vomit filled his throat.
Donnie woke with a bitter taste in his mouth. His saliva was thick and slimy. Careful not to wake Mikey, he got up from his bed and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He locked the bathroom door, got out his purple tooth brush, reached into the small bathroom cabinet, and pulled out a small box of baking soda. He wet his brush and sprinkled a bit of the baking soda on top, carefully making sure not to use too much.
After a minute he spat into the sink and looked up into the broken in front of him. The face that looked back was gaunt; nothing but hallow cheeks and freakish eyes that sank back slightly. The angles of his face were sharp, much sharper than they had once been. Instinctively, Donnie moved his hand to his stomach and was greeted by the dull hardness of rib bones.
"I'm not going to think about it. I'm not." Donnie said out loud to himself.
Still, images flashed through his mind from a year ago. It was a time where he had a fuller face, a good amount of muscle, and his skin didn't look like it was haphazardly paper mached together. But that was who he was last year. Now he was a rag doll; loose ends fraying at the seams.
There was a knock at the bathroom door which forced Donnie's attention away from the mirror.
"Donnie? Donnie are you in there? Why'd you lock the door? Are you ok?!"
Donnie could tell that Leo was trying to keep his voice level and calm but the wavering tone of his voice gave him away. Donnie unlocked the bathroom door and Leo nearly came bursting in.
"Why did you lock the door? You know that scares me." Leo accused.
"I was just brushing my teeth Leo."
Leo's face visibly relaxed. Donnie shoved passed him to get out the door way. As he did so, Leo grabbed his arm.
"Don't lock the door again. Please?"
There wasn't an audible response, Donnie just slumped slightly and nodded he head before retreating to the bedroom. Raph was just getting up and Mikey was still asleep. Raph and Donnie exchanged a quick 'good morning' before getting ready for the day.
It wasn't hard picking out an outfit each day. Donnie had all of two pairs of jeans and three shirts. After a bit of thought he decided to wear the jeans that he had worn the day before. There was no use dirtying up more than needed be; who knew when they would be able to do laundry. He slipped on a different shirt though; a black one with purposely placed splatters of red on in. It had been a gift from Raph, who thought that Donnie had too much purple in his wardrobe. That wasn't the case anymore, seeing how all his old clothes were much too big for him to wear now.
"Looks like we're matching today, Braniac." Raph said as he slipped out a red shirt with a small rip in the neck line.
"Dude, can you keep it down. 'M trying to sleep here."
Mikey rolled around in Donnie's bed, picked up a spare pillow, and chucked it at Raph's face. Raph dodged it easily. A second later the same pillow was crashing down on Mikey's head with more force than was necessary.
"Rise and shine dumb ass, time to get ready for school." Raph said as he hauled Mikey up from Donnie's bed.
Mikey wobbled on his feet for a moment and the walked over to the small closet on the other side of the room to get his clothes.
"I'm not dumb." He said in a sleepy tone.
Raph scoffed and then headed out the door, leaving only Donnie and Mikey in the room.
"So," Mikey started, "How'd you sleep?"
'Horribly.' Donnie thought to himself.
Out loud he said, "Alright I guess. Would have slept better if someone hadn't put their foot in my stomach."
In reality, Mikey was actually a very peaceful sleeper. He didn't usually kick around while he slept. But the comment made Mikey laugh and that brought a smile to Donnie's face.
"And I would probably sleep better if your snoring didn't sound like a jet engine. Come on dude, you know my bro cuddles are the best. Don't lie! Plus, I had the best dream ever. We were all hanging out and there was mountains of pizza everywhere. Jelly bean, pepperoni, and hot sauce."
Donnie smiled and ruffled his brother's bed head hair.
"What, no chocolate bits and syrup?" He asked.
"I'm saving that for the next dream. Man, it's been forever since we've had pizza." Mikey said longingly.
There was a brief moment of realization that passed over Mikey's face after he said the comment. The fact that they couldn't even order a pizza was a hard reality to live by. Mikey finished getting dressed and told Donnie that he'd meet him in the kitchen for breakfast in a minute.
Breakfast that morning was half a bowl of oatmeal and the untouched leftovers from the night before. Donnie managed to finish his food in a few bites, an action that didn't go unnoticed by Leo and Raph who were also finishing up their food.
"Bleh, this tastes like shit Leo. Here Donnie, you can eat the rest of this poison. There's no way I'd ever take another bite of that." Raph said.
He shoved his bowl to Donnie and tried not to look him in the eyes. Donnie knew what his brother was doing; Raph was very transparent when it came to his emotions. Often when he said one thing he meant another.
"Raph, I don't want your food. And if it tastes like shit then why are you giving it to me?" Donnie pushed the bowl back to Raph, who did not seem to appreciate the action. With more force than before, Raph shoved to bowl into Donnie's hands.
"Just eat the damn food Donnie."
"I said that I don't want it. I'm not going to take your food."
Raph glared at Donnie. Their eyes were locked in a stand still.
"Fine, starve some more. See if I give a fuck." Raph said.
He stood up, grabbed his book bag that had been hanging off the back of his chair, and left, making sure that the door slammed behind him.
"He was only trying to be nice Donnie. You know you need to get your weight up." Leo scowled.
Donnie didn't respond but he did eat the rest of Raph's oatmeal. He grabbed his bag after he finished and walked out the door.
"Tell Mikey I left early." He called back to Leo.
Outside of the apartment building the sky was grey and the air was heavy. Donnie walk by himself to school, thoughts of last night's dream still clouding his thoughts. He knew what happened after the dream scene; the memory that had happened in real life.
What had really happened that night wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare.
Casey was surprised to see Donnie in the art class room that day. He had almost convinced himself that the strange boy had been a dream.
"Hey Donnie, weird to see you back here. Thought one day in this hell hole would be enough to make ya skip town." Casey said as he sat down.
"I would have but the bus fare was too much." Donnie responded.
It was hard to tell if Donnie was joking or being serious about his comment. Casey wanted to continue the conversation beyond just a few words but the teacher decided to start talking.
"Class, today I want you all to listen to music. Take out your iPods and mp3 players and phones. I know it's a bit of an odd request but music is art. Listen to music and imagine the sounds as colours, flow with the beat, and turn sound into vision!"
Casey, along with the rest of the class, excitedly got out head phones and earbuds. He pulled out his iPod and plugged in his yellow earbuds that April had sent him for his birthday a while back. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Donnie looking around nervously before pulling a device out of his bag. It was chunky and rectangular and made from cheap plastic. On the side, there was a faded letter T followed by other letters that had been scratched out.
"Dude is that…is that a Walkman? Like an actual honest to god Walkman? I didn't even know those things still existed outside of indie hipster movies and thrift stores."
The colour of Donnie's face paled a bit and then flushed, most likely from embarrassment. He plugged in a pair of earbuds and put the Walkman in his pocket.
'Shit, wrong thing to say.' Casey thought.
"I mean, it's pretty cool that you have one. The thing's like a relic, where do ya even find tapes for it anymore?"
That was apparently the wrong thing to say as well because after he said it Donnie's face darkened to a grimace.
"It was a gift from my bo-I mean friend. It was a gift from a friend." Donnie said before putting his earbuds in and blocking Casey out.
The entire class period was spent in silence; students were too distracted by their music to talk. Throughout the period, Casey's paper stayed blank. He would shoot glances at Donnie's work. The drawing looked a bit like a machine, with gears and springs sticking out. But it was swirled too in hypnotic patterns. The colours were different shades of purple and pink and blue. Something about the drawing reminded Casey of a violin.
Everyone turned in their drawings at the end of class. The teacher let out a little 'hum' sound at most of the drawings. Her eyes lit up when she saw what Donnie had drawn.
"Donatello this is fantastic! The colours, the contrast, the contour! Simply beautiful!" She exclaimed loudly.
Donnie awkwardly took her praise and shuffled out the class room as quickly as possible. Casey ran to catch up to him before he left.
"Hey! Donnie, wait up a man." Casey called out.
He half expected Donnie to keep walking but to his surprise, the boy actually stopped and waited in the hallway for a moment.
"What is it? Did I leave something behind again?" Donnie checked his pockets and bag for any signs that something was missing.
"Nah, it's not that." Casey said, "You're new around here right?"
"Well the thing is, when people move to a new place into a new apartment and go to a new school that usually means they're new."
"Dial back the sass, I'm tryin' to do something nice for ya'. It was a rhetorical question anyway."
"Didn't sound like one." Donnie crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes.
"Anyway, I'm going to ignore you for a moment for the greater good of this conversation-"
"We can't have a conversation if you ignore me."
"Since I'm officially ignoring you, I didn't hear you say that. Like I was saying, you're new here and I was thinkin' that I could show you around some, ya' know? Get you acquainted with the city and everything. Casey Jones is a master tour guide after all."
A knot in Casey's stomach started to form and swell as he sped through his words. He didn't know why, he was just offering to show the new kid around. That wasn't bad, right? Just showing someone around in a perfectly platonic way. He was definitely not asking a guy he didn't even know out on a date.
"You want to show me around?" Donnie asked.
"Yeah man, or we could just hang out. New students get treated like shit around here, you could use a friend or somethin'." Casey dug his hands into his pockets and tried not to look at the ground.
He looked at Donnie's face and tried to gauge what he was thinking. Donnie's eyebrows knitted together. He looked like he was thinking hard about what to say.
"Look man," Casey said, "If you don't want to that's fine. I get it, a dude you just met wants to hang out and be friends. I'd be kind of unsure out too. Like, I'd probably be all 'Why the fuck is this guy talking to me?' But that's jus-"
"Do you have any money?" Donnie interrupted.
"Uh," Casey felt around in his pockets and his fingers brushed over the money his mom had given him for allowance, "Yeah, why."
"Let's get something to eat."
"Um, ok then. Do you wanna get a burger or some tacos? There's this really great place not too far from-"
"Pizza. Where's the best way to get pizza around here?"
Donnie's face was lit up with excitement and Casey's stomach did a small flip at the sight.
"There's one down the street. It's kind of a joint pizza-ice cream place."
The smile that Donnie had been sporting nearly doubled in size.
"Perfect, let's go!"
Donnie nearly ran for the school's exit and Casey had to jog to keep up. Once outside, Casey walked slightly ahead of Donnie, since he was leading the way. He didn't want the walk or meal to be covered in silence, so he tried to stir up another conversation.
"Sorry about calling you out on your Walkman. It actually is pretty cool though. Where did your friend even find that thing?"
Casey worried that he had said the wrong thing yet again when he noticed how Donnie's smile faded. He looked down at his shoes for a moment, lost in thought.
"My, uh, friend really liked vintage stuff. He used to collect old comic books and stuff like that so he always had a bunch of old eighties and nineties junk cluttering up his room. He gave me the Walkman for va…ahh…um…my birthday. He gave it to me for my birthday. He made me mix tapes too." Donnie sheepishly glanced around as he stumbled over his words. Casey didn't think much of it, he had been stumbling over his words too just a few minutes ago.
"This guy gave you a Walkman and made you mixed tapes? Was he technologically impaired or did he build a time machine and pop out from the seventies?"
It was a relief to hear Donnie laugh at the joke. He had a weird giggle-snort kind of laugh that Casey usually found annoying. But it worked with Donnie, no one else on earth could make a laugh like that sound so naturally perfect.
"A little bit of both I think? Yeah, definitely a little bit of both. He was really nostalgic. And kind of an idiot." The way Donnie said 'idiot' made it seem like that words was the highest compliment in the world; or at least the highest compliment someone could get from a guy like Donnie.
"So what kind of mix-tapes did ya' get? Any kind of favourites or anythin'?
"Not really. There's some Beastie Boys on the tapes, a few indie songs. There aren't a lot of songs I like on the tapes. I kind of prefer techno pop to classics."
Casey made a mental note of what Donnie said.
'Techno, he likes techno.' Casey thought to himself.
He was so distracted by talking to Donnie that almost walked passed the large sign that read 'Antonio's Pizza and Ice Cream'. Luckily he noticed the sign before it became evident that he was paying too much attention to Donnie's words. He led Donnie into the restaurant and they were seated across from each other at a booth.
"I'm not really that picky so you can just get whatever." Casey said.
The mischievously gleeful look on Donnie's face told Casey that he would probably regret that decision.
Donnie is listening to this song while he's drawing: watch?v=75kJb_aAvKY
Go listen to that song. Do it.