Another smuggling ring bust-up, another day's bounty. Routine. At least, it was supposed to be. Firstly, the bounty hadn't mentioned that it wasn't one red furry thing acting as a bodyguard, it was a half-dozen red furry things that were a lot stronger than they looked and pretty much indestructible (they hadn't been desperate enough to try some of Rocket's more extreme weapons, but they were getting there).
Drax and Gamora had ganged up on one and were beating it senseless out of plain frustration that the krutackers just wouldn't die.
Then a blue furry thing showed up. With a hot chick. And they were blasting the red furry creeps to the beat of Terran music. One red furry thing made the mistake of going after the female Terran and was rewarded with a clawed face. The blue furry thing cackled and threw itself in with a cry of "Meega nala QUEESTA!" Drax actually paused in his beating up of offending creature (something almost unheard of) to frown at the little guy.
The Terran chick looked surprised. "Who are you? Nevermind, those guns are useless, the Leroys are indestructible."
"We kind of figured that out!" Quill yelled back from where he'd been pitched into a wall and was currently lying crumpled in a heap at the bottom of and trying to remember how to stand up. "Rocket?"
"On it. This is the bit where you all go "Why did you bring that bigass gun?", and I do this," he grinned, something big, metallic, and frankly terrifying aimed at the red furry "Leroys". Lightning crackled from the muzzle, dancing over crimson forms, and four "Leroys" fell unconscious, the air filled with the smell of scorched fur. "Flark, missed the humie and the blue one."
"These six genetic experiments are prisoners of the Galactic Federation, and anyone who has anything to say about it will have to talk to us," the chick proclaimed.
"First off, which one?" Gamora folded her arms across her chest.
"Which Galactic Federation? There are several."
"…Turian? Stitch, help me out here."
"Stitch didn't know have more than one."
"Turian? Hah! They've barely finished a prototype warp drive, most of their ships are still on hyperdrive. The Milano's more spaceworthy than their entire fleet," Rocket snickered. "And if any of you repeat that thing the blue one said near Groot I will [CENSORED BY THE TURIAN GOVERNMENT] your [CENSORED BY JUMBA] off and [PLEAKLEY ADDED THIS CENSOR, JUMBA YOU ARE NOT LETTING LILO HEAR THAT, WHY IS THIS EVEN IN YOUR EXPERIMENTAL TRANSLATOR?], and then I'll throw it out the air lock."
"Secondly," Gamora continued, regally ignoring Rocket, "we have laid claim to this bounty first, by virtue of us being the first to start, as Quill puts it, 'flarking up their day', and the Xandarian government might be willing to open negotiations for them after we bring them in."
Stitch growled. "Naga taka-bah, ours!"
"Wait wait wait! Before you start killing each other, I have one very important question," Quill wheezed, clutching his spleen. "Was that English rock and roll?"
"Ih! King Elvis!" The blue nodded enthusiastically and if it got more excited it might have an aneurism.
"You've never heard of the King? Stitch, we must help this poor soul."
Drax got the feeling that his day was going to include more Terran music and promptly excused himself to go make sure the Milano didn't get stolen.
They spent the next few standard weeks rocking out to Elvis.