A/N: Ok, this might be a long note but I have lots to explain.

This was started as a kind of present for my kindred spirit catsplosion. She encouraged me to publish it after it got to about 40+ chapters and is still going. I'm generally happy with it but I want to point out a couple of things.

First and foremost – this is a story about two teenage girls over the age of consent (it's 16 here, so that's what I'm going with. Emma and Regina are 17) trying to have sex with as many of their teachers as they can. In reality this wouldn't happen. Even if a teacher and a student had a relationship, the chances of a pair of girls being able to do what these two are doing are non-existent. It's just a made up story. If that's not your thing then don't read it. That's fine.

Secondly – these characters are probably going to be fairly out of character. I've tried to keep them a bit like they should be, but Regina isn't bitter and Emma isn't as jaded. Emma has parents (Not David and Mary Margaret, but similar). The girls are best friends, and a lot of this story is about their friendship. I've tried to make them the way I think they would be without the hardship. So there is some bitchiness from Regina, and some sass from Emma, but deep down both girls want to be loved (consider Regina with Daniel in FTL and Emma with Neal). They just don't really know how to go about it or recognise it.

But overall it's smut. This story was meant to be pretty much straight up porn and then a plot seemed to sneak in (I think you can call it a plot!). So while I've tried to make the characters believable and so on, just remember it's, at its core, smut.

First chapter is fairly dry. Second chapter things start happening, and I promise there is unlikely to ever be another A/N like this! If you've stuck with me this long, thanks and enjoy the ride.


Emma Swan grabbed the sheets from the photocopier and raced back to the table she shared with her best friend. Setting one sheet down in front of Regina Mills, she slipped into her seat opposite her.

"Ok your Majesty," she smirked. "Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to fuck as many of these people as you can before the end of the year."

Regina licked her lips as she looked at the sheet of photos in front of her and traced her finger over the heading, Storybrooke High Teaching Faculty.

"So how are we dividing them up?" She asked. "Do we choose or just take whatever we find?"

Emma tilted her head as she thought about it.

"Depends," she replied. "Do you have any preferences?"

"Mr Locksley and Mr Humbert." Regina said immediately, pointing to the English teacher and the Outdoor Ed teacher in turn. Emma chuckled as she rolled her eyes and marked the pictures of the teachers with an R on both copies. "What about you?"

Emma barely had to think before she answered.

"Mr Jones, of course," she tapped the music teacher's photo "and hmm, I think Ms Lucas as well." She added an E to the drama teacher's photo. Regina's eyes bulged a little, but she couldn't help the excited gulp as well.

"Mr Glass would be easy," Regina decided, smirking at the photography teacher. "I'll just offer to pose for him." Emma chuckled and added the initial to his photograph.

"I want Mr Gold." Emma decided, and Regina stared. The headmaster creeped her out, but it had been Emma's insistence that she was sure he would be as kinky as fuck that had started this whole idea in the first place.

"Do you want Coach Nolan?" Regina asked, but Emma shuddered.

"No way, that guy is too much like my dad, you take him." Regina just laughed.

"I guess that means I have to try Ms Blanchard as well then hey?" She added. Coach Nolan and Ms Blanchard were friends of Emma's parents and she had known them her entire life, hence the feeling like parents. Emma frowned.

"Maybe we should leave those two out," she admitted. "I mean... If they told my parents..."

Regina snorted.

"It couldn't be worse than if my mother found out," she pointed out and Emma nodded her agreement. Cora Mills was fucking terrifying!

Regina glanced at the list again, wondering how they should divide the rest of the teachers.

"Maybe we should get back to these after we make it through these ones," she suggested and Emma nodded.

"Fair enough." The blond agreed. Then she flashed Regina a huge smirk. "This is going to be amazing!"