The Mystery Letter
By Lord Agravane the Undead
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon or Nintendo.
I always imagine Hilbert and Hilda to be twins, so they are in my story.
It was a perfectly sensible, well-behaved morning in Nuvema town. Hilda had gone to visit Professor Juniper, to run some errands for her. Hilbert was in his garden with Cheren and Bianca and they had been playing Scrabble but after a while, Bianca had become bored.
"Ugh, I'm sooooooooooooooo tired of sitting about on a nice day like this", she said, standing up and stretching. "I want to play a game!"
"What's Scrabble then, a method of torture?" said Hilbert.
"Totally!" Bianca leaned up against a Pecha berry tree. "Let's play tennis instead".
"Uh, we can't", said Cheren. "There's only three of us, it wouldn't be equal teams".
"Ohhh", said Bianca, disappointed. "When will Hilda be back?"
Hilbert checked his watch. "In about half an hour".
"Oh bother!" Bianca sighed and flopped down like a sack of spuds. "I am like, so BORED!"
"Maybe we can...hey! Here's N!" said Hilbert. Sure enough, the garden gate had just opened and N came walking in.
Bianca jumped up again, like a sack of spuds with a spring in the bottom. "Ohhh, totally cool! Now we can play tennis!"
"Yeah", said Cheren. "Me and Hilbert will play against you and N".
"Huh?" said N, bewildered.
"Come in quick, we're gonna have a game of tennis", said Hilbert, throwing his arm around Ns' shoulders and steering him over to the tree.
"Um, I came to see if Hilda was in..."...N began.
"No, she's out so you have to play tennis with us" Bianca said happily. "And make sure you win, I hate it sooooooo much when the guys beat me".
"I'll go and get the rackets and stuff", said Hilbert and he sped off towards the house.
N stood there looking rather lost. Cheren packed away the Scrabble pieces and Bianca gushed about how many sets they were going to win. Just then, there was a gust of wind. It blew some of the letters off the board and whipped Bianca's beret off her head.
"Oh no!" she squealed and chased after her hat.
"Humph, you think you have problems! Hilbert will kill me if I lose the Q", Cheren grumbled.
N stood there, not sure who to help, when a piece of writing paper blew over the fence and trapped itself against the tree trunk. He went to retrieve it, in case it was something important.
"Oh, who wants the silly Q", Bianca shouted, finally grabbing her beret. "You can't use it in anything anyway".
"It's worth 10 points", said Cheren. "And you can use it in lots of words".
Bianca folded her arms across her chest. "Like...what?"
"Queen, quit, qualot, quiz, quiet, quinela".
"That is totally NOT a real word", Bianca huffed. "You just like, made it up on the spot!"
"Look", said N, showing the folded piece of paper to Bianca and successfully diverting attention away from a brewing argument. "It just blew into the garden".
"Oooh! What is it?" said Bianca, unfolding it.
"Humph, it's probably a shopping list or something stupid", said Cheren.
"It's not", said Bianca. "It's..."...
She stared at the letter and gasped. Her eyes widened, then she began to giggle.
"Yeah?" said Cheren impatiently. "What is it?"
"It's...a love letter! For N!"
"So", Cheren said in an authoritative voice, as he stood in front of his friends. "We have a mystery to solve. A love letter to our good friend, N. And the question is, WHO wrote it?"
Bianca giggled and clasped her hands together. Hilbert (who had just returned with the tennis gear), shrugged and smirked. N blushed and hung his head, wishing that a suitably sized hole would open up beneath his feet and helpfully swallow him.
"What does it say, Cheren?" Hilbert asked, a positively evil grin on his face.
Cheren nodded, unfolded the letter and cleared his throat. Then he began to read.
To my darling N
I just had to write to tell you how special and amazing you are. Your hair is like soft silk. Your eyes shine like precious jewels. Your smile is like the sun rising after a month's worth of rain. You are sexy and hot and I love you forever!
Love from your special sweetheart.
Bianca sighed and her eyes went all dreamy. Hilbert snorted with laughter and N shuffled his feet and became very interested in a couple walking past with a pet Patrat.
"That is totally romantic!" gushed Bianca.
"Total mush, you mean", scoffed Hilbert.
"I'm hungry", said N.
"Shush, everyone", said Cheren, in his most important voice. "Right then, let us begin". He took a notebook and pen out of his pocket. He flipped open the notebook and began to write.
"People who could be N's secret admirer", he said. "Any ideas, friends?"
"It aint me", said Hilbert at once.
"Yes, we know it's none of us", said Cheren. He looked at N with the appearance of an overly strict schoolteacher. "N! Do you have any idea who could have written this letter?"
"No", said N. "I want some ice cream".
"Oh, you're hopeless", sighed Cheren. He beckoned Hilbert and Bianca over. "Come and look at the handwriting, see if you recognise it".
The two teenagers studied the letter carefully. N sat down in the grass and began to unpack the Scrabble again.
"Nope, it doesn't look familiar at all", said Hilbert.
"Totally not", said Bianca.
"Hmmm", Cheren mused. "So, who could it be?"
"HA!" Hilbert snapped his fingers in triumph. "Professor Juniper!"
"Eh?" Bianca and Cheren stared at him, gaping.
"Well, why not?" Hilbert said. "It could be her".
"Hilbert, Professor Juniper is at her lab, working with Hilda", said Cheren. "I'm sure she didn't just randomly walk past, wait until there was a sufficient breeze and toss the letter over".
"Dang, it was just an idea", Hilbert grumbled. "You have any better ones?"
"Hmm, how about Rosa?" Cheren suggested.
"Nope, she's dating Nate", said Bianca.
"What about Roxie?"
"Nope, she's dating some blonde rockstar dude with lots of tattoos and a massive guitar".
Cheren scratched his head. "Any of the brothers from Striaton City?"
"Nope, they're only interested in girls".
"Heeey, I know", Hilbert piped up again. "Professor Rowan!"
Cheren and Bianca looked at him.
"Hilbert", said Cheren patiently. "Professor Rowan is nearly 70 years old".
"So? Age is just a number when it comes to True Love!"
"Hilbert, it's not Professor Rowan", said Cheren firmly. He glanced over to N, who seemed to be having a game of Scrabble with himself.
"Who's winning?" he called out.
N stared at Cheren, a look of confusement on his face.
"Never mind", said Cheren. "Carry on!"
"Ooooh, let ME think now", said Bianca eagerly. "It's my turn to guess who N's secret admirer is".
"Sure, go ahead", said Cheren.
Bianca thought hard. "Hmm, let me seeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Lenora is married. Burgh is on holiday in Hoenn at the moment. Elesa bats for the other team. Nope, sorry. I'm totally stuck".
"Here, I just thought who is probably is", Hilbert said eagerly. "I bet it's Cyrus".
Bianca stared at him wide eyed and Cheren frowned.
"Oh come on, it's obvious", Hilbert insisted. "They have so much in common".
"Um, like what?" Bianca asked.
"Well, aren't they both autistic?"
"Hilbert, that's a difference in brain wiring, not a shared interest", said Cheren.
"Besides, I'm sure Cyrus has a girlfriend", said Bianca.
"Well, I am trying", said Hilbert in a hurt tone. "Let me think some more, I'll come up with something better".
"Oh, Arceus help us", sighed Cheren.
N continued to play Scrabble by himself. The other three thought hard, frequently looking at the letter to see if any clues had materialised.
"Maybe it's not anybody well known", said Cheren, after a minute or two. "It could be somebody we don't even know the name of".
"Yes", Bianca agreed. "Like an ex-member of Team Plasma, who always secretly fancied N and has finally decided to make her move on him".
"Yeah or just somebody at a Pokemon Centre who has seen N around and liked him", said Cheren.
"I think it's Lysandre", said Hilbert suddenly.
"Hilbert!" exclaimed Bianca while Cheren mimed throttling somebody.
"Why not? They both like Pokemon a lot and maybe when N was in Kalos, they met up and fell in love".
"Hilbert, Lysandre is dating Professor Sycamore", said Bianca.
"Ohhh, you've just shot down my next suggestion too", Hilbert sighed.
"Hilbert, you are COMPLETELY useless, do you realise that?" Cheren growled.
"Hmm but I am trying", Hilbert insisted. "It's so difficult, you know".
"That's not the only thing that is difficult round here", Cheren muttered.
"Aha! How about Giovanni then?" Hilbert said brightly.
Cheren sighed. He glanced over towards a tennis racket. His eyes sized up the top of Hilbert's head. Then, suddenly, there was a shout from the street.
"Hey! Hey, excuse me you guys!"
The three teenagers looked up. (N was still engrossed with his Scrabble game). A girl about their age stood there; a pretty girl with lilac hair tied back in a pony tail and wearing a t-shirt with a picture of a Skitty on it.
"Hi there", said Bianca in a friendly manner. "Can we help you?"
"I hope so", the girl panted, opening the gate and entering the garden. "Have you guys seen a letter about?"
"Um, yes", said Cheren. He showed the girl the love letter. "Is this it?"
"Ohhh, yes!" she exclaimed. She took the letter and clutched it eagerly. "Oh, thank you, thank you SO much! I thought it had gone forever".
"Not a problem", smiled Bianca, while the boys looked at N, to see if he had noticed. He hadn't.
"Ohh, that was such a lucky find, my letter blowing in here", the girl said. "I'm Devon, by the way. I was in my garden writing a letter to my boyfriend and I had nearly finished when the stupid wind came along and snatched it out of my grasp! I've been all up the street, asking at every house to see if anybody had seen it".
"Your boyfriend?" said Hilbert curiously. "Uh, you mean...him?" He pointed to N. N glanced up. He waved at Devon, then continued with his game. The board was nearly full of tiles; most of them making up long, complicated words.
"Oh no", said Devon in surprise. "Who is he? I've never even seen him before".
"That's our friend N", Cheren explained. "His name is, uh, on your letter".
"N is a real name?"
"Well, it's short for Natural but everyone just calls him N".
Devon glanced down at the letter and then she chuckled.
"Ohhh, I get what you mean. It's OK, I can explain that. You see, my boyfriend's name is Nachman and I always forget how to spell it. I can never remember if it contains a T or not. So, I wanted to write him a love letter and suddenly, it came to me like beautiful poetry".
Bianca sighed dreamily again and Hilbert rolled his eyes.
"The ideas flowed so quickly that I just had to begin writing", Devon explained. "I didn't have time to check the spelling of Nachman on my laptop, in case I forgot what I wanted to say. So I just put N as a placeholder and was going to fill out his name once I'd finished".
"Aha", said Cheren, nodding. "So it was for a different guy all along".
"Yep", said Devon, folding the letter carefully and tucking it inside her bag. "Well, I'd better get going so I can finish my letter and post it".
"Yeah", said Hilbert, checking his watch. "The postman will be along any minute now".
"Ooh, yes", said Devon. She closed her bag and smiled again. "Thank you so much guys, for looking after my letter".
"No problem", said Bianca. They all said bye to Devon and watched her hurry off up the street; her bag swinging over her shoulder.
"Wow", said Bianca. "So it was like, not a love letter for N after all".
"Humm, I did think it seemed kind of odd, to be perfectly honest", said Cheren.
Hilbert sighed. "All my awesome guesses for nothing", he said mournfully.
The garden gate opened again and this time it was Hilda. "Hi guys", she said, waving at her friends and brother. "How's it going?"
"Hi Hilda", said Bianca. "Pretty good...we've been having lots of fun".
"Well, sort of", said Cheren.
"Yeah and N's here too", said Hilbert, pointing over at said N. Now noticing Hilda, N smiled at her and Hilda squealed and ran over to him.
"N, how awesome to see you!" she said, hugging N and nearly knocking him over backwards.
"Yes", said N, hugging Hilda back. "I'm playing Scrabble. See how many words I have made".
"Wow, that's a lot of words", said Hilda, looking at the board. "But who are you playing with?"
"Nobody", said N. "The others weren't playing".
"Oh no!" Hilda gazed reproachfully at the others. "Poor N! Why didn't you play with him?"
"We were trying to solve a mystery about a love letter", explained Bianca. She quickly told Hilda about the letter and Hilda listened in surprise.
"So, in the end it belonged to Devon and she took it ready to post", Bianca finished up. "Wasn't that totally weird but cool too!"
"Hmm, yes", Hilda agreed, looking very relieved. "That's so good that she got her letter back".
"Yeah, she claimed it just in time", said Cheren. "A few more dumb guesses from your brother and I would have killed him".
"My guesses were pearls of pure wisdom", said Hilbert".
"I'm still hungry", said N, rubbing his stomach.
"Still?" said Hilda worried. She glared sternly at the others.
"Humph! You spent the whole time puzzling over a letter and didn't offer N anything to eat or play with him?"
"Umm..."...said Hilbert, going red.
"I was too busy trying to not kill Hilbert", said Cheren.
"Poor, neglected N", said Hilda, sitting back down by him and cuddling him. "You weren't interested in some soppy love letter that if it hadn't have been from me and hadn't have been Devon's, must have been from some shameless hussy, were you?"
"No", said N. "I only want some ice cream".
"You shall have some", said Hilda. She got to her feet and N scrambled up too. "Come on, let's go to the cafe".
"Yeah, I wanna do that", beamed N. Hilda slipped her arm through N's and they went back out through the gate.
"Hey, Hilda?" Hilbert called out to his sister. "You're not still mad at us, are you?"
"Hmmm..."...Hilda thought about it. Then she smiled and shook her head.
"Nope, I'm cool. If you hadn't have been so engrossed in that letter, I wouldn't be going out on a date with N now".
"Ohhh!" said Bianca, clapping her hands together. "So everything worked out totally good then, huh?"
"It sure did", said Hilda with a grin. "See you guys later!"
Hilbert, Cheren and Bianca watched as Hilda and N walked away, arm in arm. Cheren shook his head and tutted.
"Hilda is right. All that time we wasted with that letter when we could have been doing much more productive things".
"Yes, like playing tennis", said Bianca. "And now, we still have an odd number".
"How about another game of Scrabble?" suggested Hilbert.
"No", Bianca pouted. "Scrabble is sooooooooooooooo dull and silly. Anyway, we can't play it again because Cheren lost the Q".
"I did not! I found it again, shortly after you'd got your hat back", Cheren said.
"Good", said Hilbert. "We need the Q. It's worth 10 points".
"Oh no, don't start that again", Bianca groaned. "It's totally...ooh, look! Post!"
Sure enough, the post van had pulled up outside Hilbert's house and the postman was getting out. He gave the teenagers a cheery wave and went over to Hilbert.
"Letter for you, young sir", he said.
"Thank you", said Hilbert. He took the envelope and stared at it in astonishment. It was pale pink in colour and had many love hearts drawn on it.
"That looks like a girl's letter", Cheren frowned.
"It looks like a love letter", Hilbert gulped. He opened the envelope and pulled out a sheet of scented pink paper. Written across the top were the words, To my sweetheart, Hilbert.
Bianca squealed in delight and clasped her hands to her cheeks. Cheren smirked. Hilbert frantically read the letter, which waxed lyrical about how beautiful and attractive he was. Racing to the bottom, he looked for the name of his admirer.
"Question mark", Hilbert whined, shaking his head.
Cheren and Bianca looked at each other, then at Hilbert. They were plainly trying not to laugh.
"Looks like it's time for Round Two", said Cheren.