Rose sits cross-legged on the jump seat watching the Doctor move around the controls. She pulls off her blue leather jacket the Tardis gave her and drapes it over the back of the chair. The Doctor decided to take her someplace fun to distract her, but she knows what today is; she hasn't forgotten that quickly. In earth years this would be the 4th anniversary of Bad Wolf.
"Roooooose, I think I got autopilot to work now!"
He had been trying to install an autopilot function in the Tardis, but she just wasn't taking it. He enters the coordinates and steps back. The Tardis shudders and Rose wills her to work, then she steadies out and Rose lets out a small breath.
"Yes!" the Doctor shouts and jumps up.
Gosh I just want to snog him, Rose thinks to herself. Sometimes she surprises herself with how much she admits in her mind. She really hopes she doesn't have a stupid look on her face and she blushes; if she didn't then, she does now.
He plops down next to her and rests his arm on the back of the jump seat. "Brilliant Rose, absolutely brilliant!"
He smiles at her and her stomach flip flops, but she doesn't smile back. This is her chance to talk about Bad Wolf, and about what happened. She isn't going to let him distract her, not on this day.
He frowns. "You realize don't you? You remember what today is... Bad Wolf day," he whispers those words quietly, almost reverently. No, very reverently.
Rose shivers at the words so barely mentioned. She nods slowly.
"We need to talk about that day. It has been four years since then and every time I bring it up, you avoid it or try to change the subject."
The Doctor shifts his eyes away from her; he's ready to bolt.
"Doctor…" She touches his arm gently with the tips of her fingers. "We need to talk. I need to talk."
Something in her voice makes him sit back. He slowly looks up at her, meeting her eyes hesitantly.
"What do you remember?"
"Nothing." A lie. "I opened the Tardis and that's when it gets fuzzy." Another lie. "What happened? Sometimes I have dreams. I can never remember them, only a lingering feeling." A partial lie. She does have dreams about that day, but she can remember them. First it was hard to remember them, but as time went on, bits and pieces returned. For the majority of her time as Bad Wolf she was aware of everything, but the Tardis blocked her memories.
The Doctor rubs the back of his neck. "You came back to me with the Tardis. The doors opened and you were standing there, radiating gold light. Your eyes, they were glowing gold." He closes his eyes, imagining it all over again. "You said something about bringing life and destroying. Bad Wolf."
They both remember exactly what she said; neither could ever forget. There's a moment of silence as they mentally repeat what she said to themselves.
"You destroyed all the Daleks, but the energy was burning you. It would've killed you." He opens his eyes and stares at her with an intensity powerful enough to convey how much he cares for her without saying the three words he can't ever get out. "I had to take it out of you. Of course I ended up killing myself, but I could regenerate and you couldn't."
He leaves it at that. He doesn't mention the kiss, he doesn't mention that she called him her Doctor; he doesn't mention how she would do anything for him. She nods her head and stands up to leave.
The Doctor finds her an hour later stretched out on the library couch and picking at a blanket. He sits down behind her and studies the back of her head. "You remember everything don't you?"
Her skull tingles with his stare and she twists to meet it. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure."
He pulls her against him in a makeshift hug, her back against his chest. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
She leans her head back as she gathers the courage to speak. "What would happen if you didn't take all the time energy out of me? What if some had stayed in?" She can feel his cheek brush her ear as he looks up at the ceiling.
"Wellllllllll, one of two things could happen. Your body would try to metabolize it, in which case," he gulps, "you would either die, or put it in some sort of stasis. As long as you didn't try to use the energy you would be fine. Of course it is possible Bad Wolf changed you. I've never heard of a human absorbing all of time before so I can't say for sure. Theoretically it would make you part Time Lord, but without knowing to what extent Bad Wolf would've changed you, I couldn't say how long you would last like that or whether it's even a stable condition."
She takes a breath and then blurts out what she really wanted to ask. "Why did you leave out the kiss?" She pushes herself up with her left hand and holds him away from her with her right one on his chest.
"I wasn't sure if… You might not have…" he struggles and then turns red.
"You should've just told me." She reaches up with the hand on his chest and runs it through his hair.
She moves her head closer to his until their mouths are almost touching. She brushes her nose on his. He closes the few centimeters between them and he tips her head back with a firm hand pressed to her neck. They both relax, but then her eyes turn gold. The Doctor can feel the time energy coursing through her. Her hair is floating around her head, straining upwards. Gold light streams out of every strand of hair and finger. He pulls back, breaking the kiss, worry written all over his face. Her hair drops, lifeless. Rose blinks and her eyes fade back to brown.