Ba da da da da da da da!
Ba da da da da da da da!
Ba da da da da da da da!
Heroes in the half shell,
"What's with the song?" asked the elderly Japanese gentleman. The 17 year old Japanese boy driving the 2002 Saturn grinned.
"It's just something I heard on the internet," he said. "It's about some turtles that mutated into human like creatures and grew up to be masters of ninjutsu. They're pretty skilled at their teenage years."
"Ninja turtles?" said the man. "How can such a thing exist? Besides, I heard that there's only one ninja left on Earth, and he's not taking an apprentice."
"He had a few apprentices in his younger years," said the boy, "those apprentices made a small hidden clan called the Foot clan."
"How would you know that?" asked the man.
"I was once part of the Foot," said the boy.
"You?" said the man. "Harada Serizawa? A ninja?"
"I just recently graduated from my sensei's teachings," said Harada.
"What was his name?" asked the man.
"He's called Oroku Saki," said Harada, "and he's an old friend of my father's, along with another ninjutsu master, Hamato Yoshi."
"He sounds like a cool guy," said the man. That's when he noticed something. "Heads up, there's trouble ahead." Harada looked ahead and saw some gang members.
"The Purple Dragons?" he said. He grinned. "This ought to be good." The man grinned as well.
"It has been quiet for a New York Friday night," he said. The car approached the Purple Dragons. The gang looked at the car. They seemed to be in a business deal with guys wearing purple gang clothes and red visors as well as men in business suits. The business suit guys all looked like clones.
"Guys," said Harada, "you really want to stop what you're doing and do some more legal work." The three gangs got into a defensive stance. "Really?" asked Harada. "We're doing this? This can end in a few ways. I could punch you in the gut, I could kick you in the head, I could jab you in the neck…" The gangs got weapons out, "…and of COURSE you don't listen to me!" Harada charged at the gangs and started mopping the floor with them. The guys in purple drove off. The clones and the Purple Dragons stayed put.
"The humans that have been labeled as intruders of this place should no longer be in this place," said one of the clones in a monotone.
"Seriously?" said Harada. "I have a better mastery of the English language than that, and I've only been in the United States for five years."
"Harada, I'm getting itchy feet," said the man as he stepped out.
"Start 'er up, old pal," said Harada. The man grinned and then disappeared.
"SHOOBEEDOWAH!" said the man's voice. The car started driving towards the gangs at top speed. The gangs got out of the way as the car turned around. As it sped back to the gangs, something that we consider magical happened. A split occurred down the hood as the gold symbol on it traveled up. Arms swung from under the front and slammed their hands onto the road. The back of the car extended and split down the middle. It split again across the bottom. The front swung down to make the upper torso complete as the top of the rear swung down to make knee joints for the legs. Feet popped out at the bottom. A head popped out from the chest as the doors made wing like structures. A six story robot stood in place of the car. "Oh yeah!" said the robot in the man's voice as he charged at the gangs. "White Fang, Cyber ninja extraordinaire is on the scene!" He swung his right leg in a circle. "You don't know what to do!"
"Kraang was under the impression that the representatives of the species known as Cybertronians that call themselves the Decepticons were on the side of Kraang," said one of the clones in the same monotone.
"I thought they were on our side too!" said one of the Purple Dragons. Both gangs decided that discretion was the better part of valor. They got into their vehicles and got away. White Fang had a look that displayed confusion and terror. He transformed back into a car and turned on his human part of his disguise.
"Get in!" he said. Harada got into the passenger's side with a confused expression. White Fang took off after the two gangs.
"Are you crazy!" said Harada. "It's New York on a Friday night! Speeding is forbidden anyway!" That's when he noticed that the car started going up like a jet. He looked out the side and saw that White Fang sprouted wings from under the chassis. "Holy…!" said Harada.
"A Cyber Ninja always has a few tricks up his sleeves," said White Fang. They kept in hot aerial pursuit until the two gangs threw something that temporarily blinded the two. The blindness died. White Fang and Harada looked down to see that the gangs had escaped. "SLAG!" said White Fang.
Four creatures sat at a kitchen island while a fifth was busy cooking. One of the creatures at the table looked like an upright, brown, man-sized, rat in traditional Japanese clothing while the other four creatures looked like teen sized, three fingered, three toed turtles. They wore bandanas with eye holes in them. The chef was the shortest of the turtle creatures and wore an orange bandana over his light blue eyes. The lean one had a purple bandana over his brownish red eyes. The stocky one had a red bandana over his green eyes. The last one had a blue bandana over his dark blue eyes. The meal seemed to be a green mound of something with worms.
"So," said the orange wearing turtle, "anyone want seconds? There's plenty of algae and worms!" He met with polite declines. "Then I guess you haven't saved room for cake?" He drew said food from behind his back and put it on the table.
"Whoa!" said the purple wearing turtle. "It is a cake!" The red wearing turtle put a finger to it and tasted it.
"Made of…algae," he said. A worm slithered out of the cake. "…and worms." continued the red wearing turtle.
"What's the frosting made out of?" asked the blue wearing turtle.
"You don't wanna know," said the orange wearing turtle. He then gave a goofy grin. "Happy Mutation day!"
"Happy Mutation day!" said the other turtles.
"Happy Mutation day indeed," said the rat with a slight Japanese accent.
"Sensei," said the blue wearing turtle, "you said that soon we would know what topside looks like."
"Indeed," said the rat, "and I believe that you are ready to see the above world tonight." The turtles cheered. "However," continued the rat, "you will not do so without prior knowledge. Come to the relaxation room." The room had a couple of arcade games, a punching bag, a television with a game system, a tire swing over a pool of water, and a set of couches built into the floor. It all was set up in the sewers near subway tracks and gates. "The outside world is a dangerous place to strangers," said the rat, "stay together. Do not let anyone see you and…" The red wearing turtle had a surprised look on his face as he stared off to the wall opposite the subway gates. "My son," said the rat, "is there a problem?"
"Genius boy," said the red wearing turtle to his purple wearing brother, "did you make a white robot made out of car parts?"
"No," said the purple wearing one, "why?"
"'Cause I see one banging his head on the wall over there," said the red wearing turtle. Everyone looked in that direction. The robot was White Fang and he was, indeed, banging his head against the wall. Harada caught up to him.
"There you are!" he said. "You scared me to death!" White Fang kept banging his head against the wall. "Dude?" asked Harada. The banging continued. "White Fang, your head's gonna split in two," warned Harada. The banging continued. Harada then got irritated. "WHITE FANG! YAMETE!" said Harada as he threw a rock at White Fang's head. The robot acknowledged with an "ow" and massaging the back of his head while looking at Harada. "Look," said Harada, "you're upset that the two gangs got away before we got any info. I get that. I don't understand why you have to bang your head against the wall.
"Because they thought I was working for my enemies, the Decepticons," said White Fang, "therefore, I can only assume that those purple wearing guys were the Decepticons and those gangs are making deals with them!"
"I don't know about the clone guys," said Harada, "or the purple clothed guys, but I do know that the Purple Dragons were once a yakuza family that fizzled into a street gang once the most powerful member died."
"But, why would the Decepticons want to deal with humans?" asked White Fang as he leaned against the wall, arms folded.
"Hey man," said Harada, "you told me that these Decepticons are your species too. You tell me."
"The drug and human traffickers are human too," said White Fang, "can you tell me why they do what they do?"
"Ouch," said Harada as he leaned against the wall. That's when robot and human noticed turtles and rat.
"Oh, no," said the red wearing turtle, "don't mind us."
"Harada," asked White Fang, "are people like them normal on this planet?"
"No, they're not," said Harada.
"Might I ask what you're doing here?" asked the rat.
"We were chasing three gangs and lost them," said Harada. "This idiot didn't like losing his targets and so ran from me to beat himself up about it." He glared at White Fang. "I thought your rule was 'no man left behind'."
"It's 'no bot left behind', but yes," said White Fang.
"You don't want to hurt us?" asked the purple wearing turtle.
"No," said White Fang, "why should we?"
"Awesome, dudes!" said the orange wearing turtle. He jumped onto White Fang's shoulder. "Once my bros finish dissecting you, I'll name you…" White Fang held the orange wearing turtle out at arm's length.
"I opt out of surgery," he said. He let the turtle fall. "And I already have a name."
"What?" said the turtle in dismay. "I would have named you something cool, like Car-bot!"
"Perhaps introductions are in order," said the rat. "I am Splinter."
"Call me Raphael," said the red wearing turtle.
"Name's Michelangelo, dude!" said the orange wearing turtle.
"I'm Donatello," said the purple wearing turtle.
"And my name is Leonardo," said the blue wearing turtle.
"I'm Harada Serizawa," said Harada.
"And I'm White Fang," said the robot. He noticed that Donatello was staring at him. "Donatello was it?" he asked.
"I've never seen such advanced tech!" said Donatello. "An artificial intelligence inside a robotic body that moves like a biological organism! A real DNA based computer!" He turned to Harada. "How did you build him?!"
"Nani?" said Harada. "I didn't build him. He came from another planet."
"Another planet?" said Leonardo. "He's an alien robot?"
"Why'd you come to this planet?" asked Raphael.
"My leader is supposedly here," said White Fang. "He was lost to us during the war for Cybertron. I'm here to bring him back to reinstate him as a peacetime leader or, if worse comes to worst, put him to rest."
"Why did you decide to go find him?" asked Raphael.
"It was both my choice and the High council of Autobots," said White Fang. "I'm what's known as a Cyber Ninja. I'm built for stealth and disguise."
"Aren't all Cybertronians built to disguise themselves?" asked Harada.
"Yes," said White Fang, "but I can do it silently."
"I can hear your motor a mile away," said Harada.
"Part of the disguise!" said White Fang.
"Maybe some cool backstories are needed!" said Michelangelo.
"You guys introduced yourselves first," said Harada, "so I think White Fang and I should tell our story first."
"Let's hear it dude!" said Michelangelo.
"Five years ago," said Harada, "I came to New York with my parents from Japan. We had finally become U.S. citizens and were celebrating with each other when an assassin called the Shredder attacked. He called us traitors to the Foot clan."
"You're a member of the Foot?" asked Splinter.
"Yes," said Harada, "In fact, my sensei, Oroku Saki, told our leader that I should be leader of the Foot when he dies. He accepted."
"You know Oroku Saki?" asked Splinter.
"Yes," said Harada, "why? Does the name mean anything?"
"Oroku Saki was a friend of mine when I was known as Hamato Yoshi," said Splinter.
"I heard about you from my father!" said Harada. "Do you know Fuji Serizawa?"
"Fuji Serizawa was an old friend of mine," said Splinter. "I have not been in contact with him for some time." Harada drew in a breath.
"The assassin called the Shredder has killed my dad along with my mom," he said. "After a few months of running, I saw a meteor fall from space.
"I am sorry to hear that," said Splinter. "Fuji and his wife were those I was proud to call 'friend'."
"That was three years ago," said Harada. "And, on that note, the way Dad described you, I thought you were human."
"That's where our backstories come in!" said Michelangelo.
"Fifteen years ago today," said Splinter, "I came to America and bought four baby turtles. On my way home, I encountered several men that had a briefcase on their person. They called me a threat and attacked me. They threw a rat in my face. During the fight, I kept the turtles from being hurt. The enemy fighters were losing, and then one threw green ooze all over me and the turtles. The ooze set my nerves on fire and my body felt like it was being stretched and compressed. When I came to, I had noticed that the turtles had taken a human-like shape. I looked at my hands and saw that I had turned into a rat. I took the turtles and escaped to the sewers and raised them as my sons. As a bit of precaution, should they encounter danger, I taught them ninjutsu."
"So," said Michelangelo with a grin, "we're teenagers!"
"We're mutants," said Raphael as he folded his arms across his chest.
"We're ninjas," said Leonardo as he flourished his katana blades.
"And," said Donatello, "we're turtles."
"Harada," whispered White Fang, "didn't you tell me about ninja turtles?"
"Yeah," said Harada, "but I thought that they were fiction." He turned to the turtles. "What are you guys doing at a subway entrance?"
"I'm allowing my sons to visit the world above," said Splinter. "They have made requests to me to see it so many times, so I think they are ready." Harada appeared deep in thought.
"Why don't you let me and White Fang act as their guides?" asked Harada.
"What?!" said White Fang.
"Yeah," said Harada, "we could show them the cool sites and hangout spots so they can memorize the city."
"Can they?!" said Michelangelo. "Please?!" Splinter sighed.
"Very well," he said. "Be warned, the world above is a dangerous place. Listen to your guides."
"Hai, Sensei!" said the turtles.
"Stick to the shadows," said Splinter.
"Hai, Sensei!" said the turtles.
"Don't talk to strangers."
"Everyone, aside from your guides, is a stranger."
"Make sure you use the toilet before going up there. The restrooms up there are filthy!"
"Sensei!" said the turtles. Splinter sighed.
"Good luck, my sons," he said.
"Follow me, guys!" said Harada. "I know a way out!" The turtles and White Fang followed Harada.
"Look both ways before crossing the street!" said Splinter as they left. He then sighed and went to the dojo to meditate.