„I dare you to let me be
Your one and only"
'I was thinking maybe we could go to Breadstix later?'
Shay approached me from behind, her fingertips grazing my shoulder.
I mustered up a fake smile. 'Sure, I like the idea!'
'So... I'll pick you up at seven?'
Shay ran her fingers through her fabulous, dark locks of hair.
'Cut!' Ian yelled from behind a camera, exchanging tired looks with the editor. I saw from the corner of my eye as Ryan shook his head angrily.
I cursed out loud.
'If I wanted to fall asleep, I'd ask you to sing a fucking lullaby!' he yelled from behind Joaquin's computer.
I sat back onto the top of Santana's desk.
'I'm sorry, okay? I'm just not feeling it today' I shouted back with an unfamiliar rage in my voice.
It had been our seventh attempt at shooting a scene between Santana and Shay's character, Claire. She was my character's new love interest on Glee, a tall, captivatingly beautiful woman, here to turn Santana's life upside down, along with mine.
Working with Shay awoke that feeling of nostalgic longing and hunger for love inside my chest, the one that I'd tried so hard to avoid. I kept recalling the first time I'd met Heather: she swooped in in her worn out sweatpants and a messy bun and by the time we shot our first scene together, I'd fallen head over heels in love with her.
I was still licking my wounds as a result of our loud, scandalous break up, the one that was witnessed by half the cast in our dressing room about four months ago. That day I made an arrangement with myself that I'd never fall for any of my colleagues again.
Then Shay showed up, turning my resistance into ashes. My ever-growing emotionsmade me feel conflicted and terrified, I wanted to avoid developing feelings for her by all means necessary.
'Come on, Naya, it's two damn lines' Shay murmured impatiently.
I narrowed my eyes.
'Leave me alone' I growled.
The rest of the cast and crew shifted their gaze between the two of us, probably wishing for a catfight.
'What the fuck is even wrong with you?' she slightly raised her voice.
I gave her a tortured look.
'Just because you're guest starring on the show doesn't mean you get to be a part of my real life' I retorted, regretting the statement as soon as it fell from my lips.
Shay knitted her brows. Her eyes were so disappointed that I wished she would've slapped me instead of quietly nodding and opening her arms in perplexity.
'Get out' Ryan pointed in the front door's direction.
It was my turn to furrow my eyebrows.
'I'll have tomorrow's location e-mailed to you. If you don't show up with a change in your attitude, you're out' he answered, his voice as cold as ice.
I slightly nodded, tempted to talk back, but not irresponsible enough to risk my job. I grabbed my purse and bolted out of the studio, followed by the surprised gaze of my fellow cast members.
As it turned out later that night, Ryan had planned on shooting a scene on a rooftop in East-Hollywood and based on the inexplicably anxious message he'd sent me, I had a feeling we were approaching a serious deadline with this episode.
So I decided to apologize for my shenanigans and show up in time the next afternoon. As I switched off the GPS and pulled up to a parking lot twenty minutes later, I spotted Shay's black Range Rover in a far corner of the otherwise empty area.
I entered the old concrete building – the elevator nearly fell apart as I stepped into it and pressed a button with an orange 10 carved into it.
Stepping out onto the roof, I noticed camera stands set up, some of them overlooking the beautiful Hollywood panorama, others directed right at the concrete ledge Shay was sitting on top of.
She stared into the distance so peacefully that I didn't have the heart to distract her.
I looked around. The roof was paved with asphalt, with tiny solar collectors placed to the left and wooden chairs with the names of our crew members painted on their back to the right.
There was not a soul in sight, which made me suspicious. I rang Ryan's cell phone twice in a row, but he refused to answer.
Shay carefully jumped off of the ledge and turned to me.
'Where's everyone?' she asked, nervously shifting her weight from one leg to the other as if dreading another one of my outbursts.
I shook my head. 'I have no idea'
My phone vibrated. I tapped the little green envelope and felt my heart skip a beat as Ryan's text appeared on the screen: I thought you two could use some time to figure out how to bury the hatchet. Enjoy your day.
I read the message out to Shay; she looked at me just as confusedly as I must have been staring back at her.
Driven by some unpleasant premonition, I strode towards the rusty iron door. Shay followed me; we joined forces in an attempt to rip open the door, but it was jammed.
Shay tried to push down on the door knob.
'They locked the fucking door!' she exclaimed, punching the iron with her fist.
I promised myself to shove Ryan into a pool of hungry piranhas as soon as Shay and I are finished burying the hatchet.
I took another look around, just to make sure nobody else was present and leant my back against the wall, taking a seat on a relatively clean spot of the asphalt.
Shay walked around nervously, cracking her knuckles and furrowing her brows over and over again, her version of portraying a flustered, distracted state of mind.
Quite frankly, I enjoyed the sight of her body striding around in front of my eyes. It was but another opportunity for me to try and examine her from head to toe, analyzing all the shapes and non-existent flaws.
'I need a double-double'
She claimed that with so much conviction that for a second I believed she'd found the cure for cancer.
'A double-double. Like, coffee with double cream and double sugar' Shay enlightened me, sitting down next to me with her knees brought up to her chest.
'Is that some random Canadian terminology nobody in the United States would ever agree to adopt?'
'Oh, shut up' she responded with a dismissive wave of the hand.
I bit my tongue, not really sure how to hold the conversation.
We sat there in silence, watching as the silhouette of the Hollywood Hills slowly blackened against the velvet sky.
A gentle breeze blew through the dozens of ten-story buildings and I watched in awe as it twisted and twirled glistening strands of Shay's hair.
I was jealous of mother nature for having the privilege to approach her so effortlessly; to touch her skin, to play with her hair, to surround her entire being in ways I could never even dream of.
'Are you cold?' I asked.
'No' Shay shook her head, even though I could see the goosebumps arise on both her arms.
I sighed. 'Come here'
She hesitantly snuggled in closer, her muscles tightening from being unsure whether or not she could loosen up around me.
I put my arm around her waist; the heat radiating from her body caused my stomach to do somersaults.
Shay rested her head in the crook of my neck. The realization that this was the first time her skin made direct contact with mine without a middle-aged director yelling at us from the other corner of the room lingered inside my head, I couldn't wipe it out.
'You're such a giant pain in the ass' she whispered, her breath tickling my skin.
'Don't act like you're not into it'
'Oh, please' she scoffed scornfully. 'I'd rather jump off of this building than be into you'
'But since you're saying that while holding me so tight that the circulation in my limbs is being cut off, I'm going to assume you're still living in denial' I murmured into her hair.
Shay gently drew back, then put her leg over my thighs and carefully sat down, facing me. My hands automatically wandered to her hips, holding her in place steadily.
She tossed her hair back; the sudden move revealed her soft, perfectly tan neck and I caught myself wishing I could trace her collarbone with my lips.
'I'm not living in denial' Shay answered in an unusually serious tone. 'But if I did, that would be because you gave me a reason to feel that way'
The comment threw me off balance so suddenly that I averted my eyes in discomfort. Then I made the mistake of looking her in the eye; up until that moment I'd managed to avoid eye contact, but the very moment our eyes met, my heart embarked on a journey of its own – a journey towards understanding, cherishing and most of all, admiring the woman leering back at me. A journey that I had yet to fully comprehend.
Her gaze dropped at my mouth and I wanted nothing but to discover the taste of the lips I'd secretly been dreaming of all this time.
Shay must have realized the change occurring in my behavior, because she flashed a tender smile at me and squeezed my thigh between her legs to redirect my attention to her presence.
My body reacted vocally; I couldn't prevent the wistful sigh from escaping my lips as her skin once again brushed against mine.
'What's wrong, NayNay?' she asked quietly, her dark orbs reassuring me that the fire behind her eyes is only fueled by acceptance and love. No curiosity, no ulterior motives, just caring in its simplest, most selfless form.
'I wanted to hate you so bad' I responded, breaking eye contact. 'I really, really wanted to hate you'
'I fell for a fellow cast member once' I explained, my voice breaking at reliving the memory. 'She destroyed me. Everything I ever thought mattered meant absolutely nothing anymore'
When Shay put her hand on my wrist, I realized I was shaking.
'I guess I just figured hating you would be easier than giving my feelings another choice to ruin me completely'
The sound of a car horn blended with my fading voice.
'How's it going so far?' she inquired, a playful smile causing the left corner of her lip to turn upward. 'I mean, the whole „hating me" part'
I shot her a half-nasty look.
'Let's see. I'm stuck on a rooftop with possibly the sexiest woman I have ever seen in my life and I'm dying to check out her cleavage, but her eyes have been holding me captive for the past fifteen minutes'
Shay threw her head back as she laughed, exposing her neck again and I felt a whole series of unholy thoughts flood my mind.
'Go on' she instructed me.
I cleared my throat.
'She has this crazy beautiful smile that makes me feel like my insides are on fire everytime she looks at me. And the ass...' I pretended to think hard as my hands reached across to her butt, squeezing it as sensually as I could. '...I'm not sure I could verbalize that'
'Pervert' she chuckled, attempting to remove my hands from her butt. 'Take your paws off of me'
'Don't make me do that' I whined.
'You said no falling for cast members, it was your rule, not mine' she reminded me softly.
I took a deep breath. There was absolutely no rule or law I would've refused to break in order to become this woman's one and only.
'What a stupid fucking rule' I admitted half-heartedly.
'I know you're hiding under like, ten layers of sarcasm, but you're not going to fool me' Shay pointed out the obvious.
'Why would you even try to get through to me?' I played along.
She draw circles on my thigh with her fingertips. I could tell she was nervous to respond.
'Because I can't stop thinking about you' she looked me straight in the eye, her gaze conveying the mixture of love and lust in her eyes in ways I couldn't put into words.
My hands slid back onto her butt, this time she didn't bother to take them off. I decided to consider that as a victory.
'Is that so?'
I tried to play it cool, but the excitement hiding in my voice probably gave me away. Shay blushed.
My heart beat began racing at the thought of this beautiful, irresistible woman getting intimidated by me.
Her timidity only lasted for a second though; as soon as she noticed the attraction was mutual, a proud grin spread across her face.
'You should smile more often' I advised. 'It looks great on you'
'And you should stop complimenting me all the time, because I'm getting real fed up with constantly blushing' she scolded me tenderly.
Shay leant in closer; I let the scent of her sweet, flowery perfume fill my nose.
My lips were throbbing from the thought of smashing them against hers'.
I ran my hand across the small of her back.
Our mouths were about two inches away. I could feel her breath on my lips.
Then the world around us ceased to exist – Shay's mouth firmly pressed against mine, leaving me no time to chicken out.
I pulled her in a tight embrace and kissed back, like there was no tomorrow. Her lips parted to grant access to my tongue; she threw her arms around my neck, tucking disobedient strands of hair behind my ear.
Our tongues fought restlessly and with so much passion that I had to catch my breath.
Shay leant her forehead against mine. I played with the hem of her flannel.
'I'm so hot for you' I admitted, my voice raspy from the stifled frustration.
'How could I help you with that?' she purred while throwing her head back.
'Certainly not by doing that' I groaned in dissatisfaction.
'How about this?'
Her lips traced the outline of my jaw, slowly making her way to my neck and causing me to explode in the process.
'Baby, don't –'
She shut me up with a gentle nip on my earlobe.
I contemplated tearing our clothes off and allowing her to dominate me on this dusty, abandoned rooftop.
Shay kissed up the column of my neck, leaving barely visible bite marks on my skin. I let my head fall back, realizing that I couldn't resist her charm if I tried.
I ran my hands up and down her thighs as her hands slid underneath my shirt.
The soft caresses and her fingertips wandering around my back drove me crazy.
I indignantly moaned as she pulled away.
'I'm guessing that wasn't of much help, either' she faked a sympathetic grimace.
I loudly exhaled.
She turned me on to the extent of which I could not think clearly anymore.
'You'll just leave me hanging, won't you?' I sighed deeply.
Shay wrapped her legs around my waist. My gaze drifted downward: her denim shorts barely covered her crotch and I found myself at a loss for words.
She teased me some more, pretending to adjust to the new sitting position, but actually just grinding against my thighs.
I grabbed her hips and pulled her so close that I could hear her uneven breathing clearly.
'Kiss me' I commanded.
'Or what?' Shay bit her lower lip.
I looked her dead in the eye.
'That was very irresponsible of you' I stated dryly.
A silent shriek escaped her mouth as I lifted her body and lay her down on the ground, hovering over her with the most maniacal expression I've ever felt forming on my face.
'If I were you, I'd be expecting some serious retaliation right about now' I mumbled into her ear.
'What am I being punished for?' Shay wondered.
'Taking advantage of the effect you have on me'
'It's not my fault you can't resist me'
As she lay there, with the dim city lights illuminating her face and her lips slightly swollen from my kisses, I felt my heart began to rip my ribcage apart on the inside.
I lowered my hands to her sides and tickled her, causing the brunette to burst into laughter while trying to wrestle me off of herself. She convulsed underneath me, begging me to stop as my fingers restlessly titillated her body.
'Okay, okay, I've learned my lesson' she panted, her chest moving up and down rapidly with every breath she took.
I bent forward to place a kiss on her cheek.
Shay pressed her palm against the back of my neck and guided my mouth to her lips.
Her kiss was sweet and sensual, there was no rush and no impatience, just the two of us casually falling victim to each other's lust.
I pulled her shirt upwards, trailing my fingers along her abdomen. A silent moan escaped Shay's lips.
She guided my hand to her abs, allowing me to feel as the muscles tightened everytime my fingers grazed them.
Slow, rhythmical applause interrupted our make-out session.
'A match made in heaven' Ryan announced theatrically, letting his arms fall to his sides. 'I'm willing to take full credit for this'
He stood beside the concrete ledge, the city lights highlighting his fascinated face.
I saw no point in denying, so I just shrugged and grinned at Shay.
'How long have you been standing there?' Shay asked him casually, as if being caught making out with me was nothing special.
She got up on her feet and as I followed her to the spot where Ryan stood, I reached for her hand. Shay spun around and pecked my lips.
'Too long, apparently' he responded in a confused manner. 'But I see you've found an impeccable way to kill time up here'
I lifted my index finger. 'Just for the record, if you ever pull a stunt like that again, I will get you castrated'
Shay squeezed my hand. 'You sounded so much like Santana' she remarked with a light scoff.
'If I didn't know you well enough, I'd think that was a compliment'
Ryan rolled his eyes in mocked annoyance and decided to escape the lesbian mush by striding towards the now open iron door.
'Can we please finish the goddamn restaurant scene and call it a day?!' his voice echoed through the building.
Shay was not particularly affected by his whining; she grabbed me by the waist and slightly bent down to whisper into my ear: 'As soon as we're done here, I'm going to fuck you so hard that you won't be able to get out of bed the next day'
'Challenge accepted' I was going to say, but the words somehow got stuck in my throat and all I could do was grin like an idiot, while frantically glancing at my watch and mentally preparing myself for the most mind-blowing night of my life.