Broken Dreams and New Beginnings: And life goes on…

Broken Dreams and New Beginnings: And life goes on…

By: Shagti2

Ages: Ash- 15, Misty –15, Tracey-16

I sighed as I looked at her by my side. Oh, the ever so amazing, beautiful, intelligent, and over all great Misty. I sigh again, as I lose myself looking at her. She was walking a little bit ahead of me, so she didn't notice my staring.

Walking beside me was Tracey. He had been traveling with us for quite some time now, and we were almost the best of friends. Brock was spending a few months in Pewter for a while, and he was going to catch up with us in a few weeks. He noticed me looking at Misty, or so I thought.

He looked at me, and beckoned for me to stop. Misty went on walking, unaware we had stopped.

"Hey, Ash can I ask you something?" Tracey asked me anxiously. I was beginning to get a little nervous. If he knew my secret, then I'd have to kill him. Or at least bribe him…

"Err… yeah sure, Tracey. What's it about?" I replied, waiting for him to ask if I had feelings for Misty.

Tracey started to look nervously at his shoes, a slight blush creeping across his cheeks. "Would you happen to know if Misty is… you know? Seeing someone? Or has a boyfriend?"

I looked at him quizzically, not quite understanding what he was asking. "Why do you want to know, Trace?"

"Well, see I kinda like her…." He answered. I was shocked. Tracey? And Misty? I just wasn't prepared for this….

There was only one thing to do. Tell him the truth. "No. No she isn't with anyone."

Tracey almost leapt in the air for joy. "Oh, thank you so much, Ash! You don't know how much this means to me!" he shouted. His shouts caught Misty's attention, and she found us a good hundred feet away from her.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING THERE!!! GET OVER HERE!!!" she screamed at us, her eyes flashing in rage, her hands on her shapely hips. I sighed again, as Tracey gulped in fear. We ran as fast as we could, and almost turned back as Misty started to wallop us with her mallet.

Later on that night, it was my turn to make dinner. I silently stirred the pot of my version of Brock's No-Chew-Lazy-Boy-Stew. Its chef required anything but laziness, and it wasn't exactly No Chew. But it was still decent. It would take a really big idiot to actually mess up one of Brock's recipes.

As I stirred the stew, Tracey was talking to Misty, showing her some sketches in his sketchbook. Misty turned the pages in amazement and wonder, admiring Tracey's artistic skills. As she flipped the last page, a shocked expression came on her face.

She looked at Tracey, who was busy looking down in sheepish embarrassment, drawing a picture aimlessly in the dirt. She lifted his head and asked him a question. Tracey nodded yes. Then he asked her a question, and she nodded yes. Then they leaned in and kissed.

I dropped the large wooden spoon I was using for the stew, my heart broken in two. Misty… and Tracey… together… I couldn't handle it. Or could I?

It isn't like if I actively pursued a relationship with her… I was so busy caught up in pokemon training, trying to be a master. When we first met, I really didn't think that much about her like how I think of her now.

Serves me right. Well, I guess this is what I deserve. So I decided to just let things be. I'd be happy for my friends, happy that they found someone who could appreciate them.

I wiped away at a stray tear that managed to get out, and finished the stew.

"Dinner's ready!" I called out, hoping my voice didn't sound like if I was crying. If it did, I don't think that the two of them would notice. They were too busy looking into each other's eyes.

Oh, this is too much now. I don't know how much longer I can stand this anymore. I found them making out THREE times already today, and I ended up doing most of the work. I'm happy for them, really I am, but having to see them do this, I mean, C"MON!

But what can I do about it?

Nothing. So that's what I'm going to say about it.

Nothing.

Luckily, we had a long stretch of road to go before we reached the next town, so they had to be satisfied at holding hands for now. I was walking briskly ahead of them, Pikachu on my shoulder. They told me that they were officially together that night, so it's not like I was surprised.

It still hurt though. I tried to forget about them and their relationship, and concentrated on the road ahead. I guess I was concentrating on the road ahead so much that I didn't notice they were still behind me. Noticing something wrong, I turned around.

A few hundred feet away, they were busy making out in the middle of the road. Dammit, this was too much. I started to call after them, but then stopped. Instead, I trudged on ahead.

If they wanted to make out so much, I wouldn't stop them. They'll just have to do it in front of someone else whose heart won't shatter every time they kissed.

I ended up in the pokemon center a little bit in the evening. It wasn't a very large center, but it had free beds, so I wasn't complaining. I handed the nurse my pokemon, and decided to just relax for the rest of the night, and formulate some sort of plan to get my next badge.

I took out my Discman, and started to listen to any CD that came to hand. I didn't care what it was, I just popped it in and started to listen to it. I put on my headphones and started to listen. Well, lo and behold, it turned out to be Papa Roach.

Cut my life into pieces

This is my last resort,

Suffocation, No breathing

Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding

This is my last resort

Cut my life into pieces

I've reached my last resort,

Suffocation, No breathing

Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding

Do you even care if I die bleeding?

Would it be wrong, would it be right?

If I took my life tonight, chances are that I might

Mutilation out of sight

And I'm contemplating suicide

'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind

Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine

I never realized I was spread too thin

Till it was too late and I was empty within

Hungry, feeding on chaos and living in sin

Downward spiral, where do I begin

It all started when I lost my mother

No love for myself and no love for another

Searching to find a love upon a higher level

Finding nothing but QUESTIONS AND DEVILS

'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind

Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine

Losing my sight, losing my mind

Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine

Nothing's alright, nothing is fine

I'm running and I'm crying

I can't go on living this way

Cut my life into pieces

This is my last resort,

Suffocation, No breathing

Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding

Would it be wrong, would it be right?

If I took my life tonight, chances are that I might

Mutilation out of sight

And I'm contemplating suicide

'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind

Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine

Losing my sight, losing my mind

Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine

Nothing's alright, nothing is fine

I'm running and I'm crying

As the song died down in my ears, I realized it totally summed up how I was feeling.

Well except for the suicide part, that is.

I listened to the rest of the CD, as Tracey and Misty finally made their way to the center.

Misty walked up to me, angrily. "Now why in the hell didn't you wait for us?" she demanded.

I looked up at her, and lowered my headphones. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you still knew I existed. You were rather pre-occupied, and I decided to give y'all some space," I replied coldly. A little too coldly.

Tracey shuffled uncomfortably on his feet, watching our exchange. Thankfully, Misty just huffed and grabbed Tracey by the arm.

"Whatever, Ketchum. You're just jealous that a dumb freak like yourself won't be as happy as me and Tracey!" she retorted, and went over to the other end of the center, leaving me speechless.

Something about what she said struck a nerve deep within me. I felt like she had stabbed me right in my heart.

Maybe she was right, I mused as tears started to form I my eyes. I pulled my cap over my face and hoped no one could see me trying to hide my tears.

Even if I had told her how I felt, she still would have picked Tracey. At least I now know how she stands.

Later on that night, I ate my dinner by myself, trying to ignore the happy couple. They were busy eating spaghetti a-la Lady and the Tramp- the human version.

I tried to eat my cheeseburger as quickly as possible, but it seemed to big. Pikachu was already on dessert, licking his ketchup happily.

As I choked down my meal, a plan started to take form in my mind. I was going to leave them and travel by myself for a while. It isn't like they would miss me or anything.

"To busy sucking face to even notice me around," I thought bitterly. After what seemed like an eternity, I was down to my last bite. I swallowed it fast and picked up Pikachu. He clung to that ketchup bottle with all of his worth.

I went into our room and put Pikachu down. He scampered unto a bed and started to eat the ketchup once more. I took off my jacket and put it in my bag, and took off my sneakers and lay them near my bed.

I plopped down heavily, being careful not to disturb Pikachu. I put my cap over my face once more and started to go to sleep.

I don't know how long I slept, but next thing I knew, I awoke to something moving. My eyes opened, and I saw Misty sitting on her bed, flipping through a magazine.

She saw my eyes open.

" Hey, Ash," she said. Her anger was gone, and she seemed to be in a good mood. I got up slowly, and swung my legs over the side of the bed, and brought myself to a sitting position.

"Hey, Misty."

She kept on flipping through the magazine. " Sorry about today, ok? I was busy, and I can understand," she said, her attention still mostly given to the magazine.

"Yeah, no prob. If I were Tracey, I'd probably be doing the same thing," I said jokingly, but then stopped at my mistake.

Misty dropped the magazine in shock, her surprise all over her face. "What are you trying to say, Ash?"

I felt my face turn red, as I tried to search for a good explanation. "Uh, I'm not trying to say anything! I just meant… you know…" I stammered out. Really smooth, huh?

"Tell me the truth, Ash!" she demanded. My mind went racing as I searched for an answer. But then a question came into my mind.

"Why do you want to know?" I asked, trying to cover myself up.

"Because that seemed rather an odd answer," she replied smoothly. I was backed into a corner. Options were presented. I could lie, but I'm a lousy liar. The best thing, I figured would be to tell the truth.

I scratched behind my neck, and took a deep breath. "I guess because if I was in Tracey's place, I would be all over you all the time. Who wouldn't?"

Misty backed away. "Ash, I don't need this right now! I already have a boyfriend!"

I lowered my head in shame. "Yes I know. But Misty, I do like you. I like you a lot."

Misty opened her mouth to say something, but she never got a chance to say anything.

"You, BASTARD!" Tracey yelled from the doorway, a clothes iron in his hand. I backed up warily. Pikachu was still fast asleep, despite my conversation with Misty, and Tracey's exclamation.

I raised my arms in surrender as I got of the bed. "Tracey, it's not what it looks like," I said slowly.

"Famous last words!" he yelled, as he came at me, the iron swinging. I blocked with my forearms, and felt the pain run up my arms. The smell of burnt flesh and hair filled the room as I took the edge of the hot iron on my forearms.

Mist leapt up in my defense. "TRACEY, NO!" she yelled, as she took the iron from him. Pikachu finally woke up to the smell, and leapt up in front of me.

"Pikapi!" he yelled in surprise, as I clutched at my burnt arms.

"Don't worry. I'll be ok," I said through gritted teeth. I made my out of the room, leaving Misty with Tracey.

I picked up my stuff from off of the ground and placed it on a chair. Nurse Joy had given me a salve and wrapped up the burns for me. I was preparing to leave. The others knew that I was leaving, but they didn't even see me in the infirmary.

Pikachu was resting inside the Pokemon center and I decided to take a quick walk before we left. As I walked out the exit, I heard the sound of a branch break behind me. I whipped around, only to get a solid punch in the face from Tracey.

I staggered back, clutching at my face. My nose started to bleed through my fingers.

"You, bastard! You tried to get my girl!" he yelled at me, waving his fist around. Then he kicked me solidly in my gut, and I doubled over. Tracey slammed his elbow in my back, causing me to cry out in pain. I fell flat, and he began to kick me a few times in my body and face.

"Stay away from her," he muttered, as he walked off.

I picked myself up, and shook away the stars in my head. I now knew where I stood with him. With the both of them.

I took out a napkin and wiped away the blood from my nose, and picked up Pikachu. He was none the wiser, although he looked at me suspiciously as I walked along stiffly.

For the next couple of days, I started to contemplate the situation. I knew that whatever friendship I had with Tracey was over. He would believe whatever he wanted.

With Misty, though, was a lot more complicated. Maybe, after a while, I could try to talk to her again, but it would be different. She knew how I felt, and she couldn't return my love to her anyway.

Even if she felt the same way.

Ok, this is a prequel! Or depending on the order of it, the beginning! Anyhoo, send suggestions and comments to Shagti2@aol.com or flames to Shoveitupyour@ss.com! G'night Gracie!