****** This fic is based on a strange idea that popped into my head when i was wondering stuff. I tend to do that, wander ( "and Im a wandering, wondering, if i packed me enough underwear..."-spaceghost) in my thoughts and come up with strange ideas that make no sense ^-^ (You'll see what I mean later on -.-'). Its not to be taken too seriously (kinda like me). So, read, review, and THEN you can run away screaming, ok?******

All in Your Head

by Tano

******Disclaimer: *sings to the tune of some Spice Girls song* I, do not own anything, not a single thing, this i swear (this i swear) and (and), all that I want from you is a promise you wont sue me (say you wont sue me), yeah. oh yeah, i don't own this song either! *laughs like the loon she is and eats her english homework* ******

******my goodnessnessness, where is my brain today? did YOU steal it???******

******Don't lie to me, i know you did, i see that guilty look on your face! BRAIN STEALER! PUPPIES! WE'LL PUT THEM TO SLEEP! sleeeep... NOT THE PUPPIES!!!!!!!! *hides the puppies in secret lair under that rock* *oops, its not secret anymore... oh well, on with the show* ******


Everyone wants something. Some people want to be wealthy or famous, to be popular, to be the best. Some want dessert, others would just like something to eat. Some want to be the best, while others wish they weren't so good at things. Wanting is normal, but it is not good to let the wanting consume you.

Again, wanting is normal, but what if what you want isn't real? What if everything you've ever known, everything you've ever wanted was not what it seemed. What if this is all just an illusion? Everything you thought you were, everything you thought was, is, does not exist. What if it's all in your head?


Chapter 1

It was her fourteenth birthday. Not that it really made a difference, no one really cared enough to even wish her a 'happy birthday' any more. Her best friend didn't even talk to her any more. Once high school had begun, the two had drifted apart. Phoebe with a new group of friends, Helga by herself.

She was a loner, a reject unable to fit in with anyone else, but it made no difference to her. She had no desire to be like anyone else. Unlike so many girls her age, she did not want to be popular. Annoying, ditzy, giggling girls who flirted all day and hardly had the intelligence of a turkey- they all disgusted her. She wasn't like them and she was glad. Helga G. Pataki was her own woman, and the fact that she had a brain was a nice bonus.

It's not that she wasn't pretty, sure she was. Not the most beautiful girl in the world, but close enough. She had changed in the 4-5 years since she was that skinny awkward bully in the fourth grade, but only in appearance. She still had that anger towards everyone around her, if not more of it, which was the one thing that kept her from being popular. Sure, the popular girls were mean at times (ok, most of the time), but they didn't throw spitwads or stuff people in lockers. They found Helga to be quite juvenile and a waste of space and oxygen, and she felt the same about them.

Helga hadn't had a real birthday since... come to think of it, she'd never had a real birthday. Her birthday had always been just like any other day, boring and lonely. But now she was used to it. She was ok with this, but it annoyed her that her birthday had to be on a school day this year. She loved to have the day off on her birthday, at least that way she could read, sleep and perhaps think about Arnold all day.

Yes, Arnold. She still had the obsessive crush on the sweet boy that had begun when she was three years old. What was it now, eleven years? Yes, eleven years of torture, watching Arnold fall in love with every girl but her, only to have his heart broken a thousand times over. If only he would fall for her, then they could end each others suffering. Helga would have the one thing she had ever hoped to achieve in her fourteen years-to be loved by Arnold- and Arnold could have what he wanted- someone who truly loved him. Then everything would be perfect.

Arnold was perfect, by human standards. Smart, sweet and popular. Sure he had his flaws, but they were minuscule in comparison with what was great about him. Still the ever-present-always-needed voice of reason, he helped everyone who would come to him with their problems, and was accepted by the popular girls as 'the hotty with the weird head who's really nice' (of course, he preferred to be called 'Arnold').

Arnold got along with almost everybody, except one person. She never seemed to notice that he existed. Helga G. Pataki, his former tormentor for seven years of his life. She had changed. Though she had never liked him from the start (how little he knew), at least she had acknowledged him in the past. Any attention from Helga, no matter how negative was good enough for him. Now she didn't bother him, and that bothered him. Since the sixth grade she had stopped annoying him, stopped talking to him altogether. He really wished that he could talk to her but his friends held him back. Talking to a "reject", which was what Helga had come to be known as, was simply unheard of. It is human nature to want what one cannot have, and Helga's friendship was it.

Although Helga did not care about birthdays, or friends or anything of the sort, she couldn't help but wonder, what did girls her age DO on their birthdays? What kind of things did they get? Helga had never even received a birthday present before. It might be nice to get a nicely wrapped gift from someone who cared about you. A CD, a penny, it wouldn't really matter what, just as long as it was from a friend and it wasn't a rat. She hated rats.

She slapped herself across the face, as to remind her that she didn't care about any of these things, friends or birthdays, and went back to whatever the assignment was in her History class. Only 6 more class periods and lunch to go, and she was home free.

Helga sat in front of Arnold in English class, but she never turned around for even a moment to even look at him. She wouldn't even look at him when they passed the last night's homework towards the front. Just stuck her hand out behind her until the papers where placed in it.

It was almost April and school would be over in June. Who knew if she would be in any of his classes next year. English was his best chance at getting to talk to her. It was an Honors class and therefore few of his "popular friends" had even set foot in the room, although there were a couple, but they were too intelligent and busy with what they had to do to notice or care if he talked to Helga.

He noticed that Helga was acting a bit more out of it than usual. She sighed a lot and stared blankly at the clock. What was the cause of it?

Arnold made his decision as the late bell rang and he took his seat behind her. He would try to say something to his lost friend.

"Take out a pen and begin your grammar test." Oh great, a test. No way he'd get to talk to Helga now... but wait...

He raised his hand, "Mr. Phillips, didn't we have homework last night?" he asked.

Groans from the class, and an elated smile from the English teacher.

"Why, yes Arnold, we did! I almost forgot!" Mr. Phillips glared at the rest of his griping students, "Pass up last night's assignment, THEN begin the quiz."

Yes! It had worked! This was his chance! As he waited for the girl behind him to sign her name on her homework, he noticed that Helga was acting a bit more out of it than usual. She sighed a lot and stared blankly at the clock. What was the cause of it?

"Finished!" the girl behind him announced and tossed her paper in the air.

Arnold almost fell out of his seat trying to catch it, and glanced quickly down at the piece of paper as he shuffled it with the others. What caught his attention was the date. March 25... why was that so familiar? The dim bulb in his head lit. THAT'S IT! It was Helga's birthday! How could he have forgotten that? That's why she was so distracted!

He saw Helga's hand in front of his nose as she impatiently waited to be handed the papers. He didn't give them to her, only tapped her on the hand.

The teacher was almost at their row. Helga spun around and glared at him.

Arnold grinned, his plan had worked. He lightly and playfully whacked Helga in the face with the stack of assignments and whispered, "Happy Birthday, Helga."

******Hee, well? I dunno... hi! Didya review yet or are ya just gonna sit there with yer mouth hanging open and drool drippin on the keyboard? I thought so. How bout this, you review my stuff, and I'll review yours (if i havent already...)! Deal?******

******Man, that was a loooong chapper! Even without the babble it was pretty durn long, at least for me! Whoo boy, sure it was! Sorry if it's a bit confuzzling, I switch POV a lot without warning, but I think you got the idea, right? Sure am, Eddy.******

******REVIEW, DARNIT!!!!! DONT MAKE ME COME OVER THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!******