"Whatt do you think you're gonna do, now our five year mission's over?" Dr McCoy asked his captain as they walked down the steps of Starfleet Academy in San Francisco.
Kirk thought for a moment, "I don't know, it all went so quickly, I haven't got anything planned. What are you gonna do?" He asked Bones.
"I might go check out the scenery, do some travelling. I've always wanted to see the Great Pyramids."
"Where's that?" Kirk asked.
McCoy looked stupefied, "In Egypt! You've spent too much time in space, Jim. You've forgotten the geography of your own planet!" He laughed to himself.
Kirk sighed, "What about you, Spock?"
"Make love, not war."
"What? What did you say?" Kirk asked, astounded.
"Jeez, Jim. What's up with him?" McCoy looked gormless.
Spock stopped in the middle of the steps, "Make love, not war." He repeated.
"Yes, but why did you say that?" Kirk looked at him.
Spock turned around, "Fascinating."
"What is?" Asked McCoy, confused.
"What I have just said, doctor. I do not, however, understand what it means."
"Of course you don't," McCoy looked over at James Kirk.
"It means, you know, do this," he gestured. "Instead of that," he gestured again.
"I still do not understand." Spock looked perplexed.
Kirk reached a conclusion, "Never mind, Spock. It doesn't matter."
"Where did you see that?" McCoy asked the Vulcan.
"See what, doctor?"
Leonard McCoy sighed, "Make love, not war. Y'know, that thing you said."
"From that poster over there," Spock pointed across the street, about ten metres away.
"You can see that?" Bones asked, still trying to make out that hazy white pice of paper Spock had pointed out.
"That's awesome! Not only do you have super hearing, you've got super sight as well!" Kirk sniggered quietly to himself.
"Not really, but that does define it somewhat sufficiently."
McCoy grumbled quietly, "Smug pointy eared hob-goblin!"
Spock looked over at him. "Doctor?"
"Nothing." He replied, hastily.
"Let's go check out that poster, then." Kirk added, "Unless, of course, you can read it too Bones."
"No, I'm not 'Mr Super-Sight'!" He sarcastically replied.
Kirk, Bones and Spock crossed the road and reached the other side.
"There's not much of this poster left, is there?" Kirk noticed.
"No, it must be pretty old." Bones added.
"Looks that way." Kirk continued the idea.
Spock carefully studies the poster, that was stuck to a metal pole. "It appear to be around 200 years old."
"And how do you know that?" McCoy asked, wearily.
"I merely looked at the bottom of it," he replied, pointing to the bottom left hand corner of the stained paper.
"1969!" Kirk proclaimed, after reading the poster. Most of it had faded away, but, luckily it was put up in a shades area, so being exposed to the elements for two decades hasn't yet taken its tole very significantly.
"I believe that is the yet of the first Earth manned flight to the moon and landing on the surface. My ancestors, had achieved in stellar flight long before, of course."
"Spock?" McCoy asked.
"Don't show off. It's not a very attractive quality!"
Kirk could see this would get heated if he didn't step in, so he decided to, he didn't want to make a scene. "So? What does the poster say, Spock? I can't really tell, it's so faded."
"All I am able to see is the 'Make love, not war' slogan that I noticed earlier." The Vulcan thought hard for a brief moment, "Ah!" he realised. "I know why it means; its highly logical. Waging war never has advantages, but," he looked down, "making love has advantages for both parties."
McCoy and Kirk looked at each other and sniggered as quietly as they possibly could.
Spock continued, "But it looks like a picture of some sort of transport is in the centre."
"I know what that is!" McCoy inputted. "It's a camper van! A Volkswagen to be precise! My father used to tell me all about them when I was a boy. I'm sure he's got a model of one somewhere."
"Right, anyway, we'd better get moving," Kirk hurried him. "I'm not ire what we're still doing here, actually. We must look kind of weird, staring at a two hundred year old poster." He started to walk and Bones and Spock followed.
After walking for less than ten minutes, Spock noticed something. "Doctor? Isn't that one of those 'camper vans' you mentioned earlier?"
"Where?" He asked.
Spock gestured to a pink VW camper van with a split-view window and white roof.
"It's beautiful!" McCoy proclaimed.
"What is it now, Bones?" Kirk asked, already bored.
"Isn't it a beauty?" He asked.
"God! You're just like Scotty and his engines!" Kirk laughed. "And, yes, it's lovely."
"The door's open!" McCoy shouted, already inside the camper van, which was parked outside a building.
"Bones! That probably belongs to someone! Get out!" Kirk shouted.
"Doctor, it would be wise." Spock added.
"Seriously! Come on in! It's awesome inside!"
Kirk and Spock could see that the doctor was not going to listen to them anytime soon, so they listened to him and got inside the vehicle.
"Ugh, it doesn't half smell, Bones!" Kirk spluttered, holding his nose.
"Aw. It's not that bad! It's jut the engine. What are you two doing hovering about? Sit down, look there's plenty of room in the back."
Hearing this, Kirk and his first officer clambered into the back seats which where covered in beaded seat covers, that were very uncomfortable, so they removed them and threw them on the sears opposite them.
"The keys are still in the ignition!" McCoy was starting to get really excited now.
"No, whatever you do, Bones, do not start that engine!" Kirk was interrupted by the immense noise and exhaust fumes that the old 20th century engine emitted.
"Oh shit!" Kirk yelled as the VW began racing down the hill and sped past Starfleet headquarters.
"Fasinating. This vehicle uses a fuel called diesel. I am not entirely familiar with it."
"Wow, Spock. Something you're not entirely familiar with!"
McCoy added. "I'm beginning to like this camper van more and more." He smirked.
Kirk scrambled into the back seat and looked out of the rear window, all he could see was black exhaust fumes. "Er, Bones? This doesn't look very environmentally friendly."
"Neither's a starship!" He defended his new pride and joy.
Kirk thought for a moment. "Fair point, I suppose."
"Doctor," The Vulcan passenger spoke up, "There is a bench to the right that I would advise you to avoid."
McCoy looked over to the right and sure enough there was a bench that he was quickly speeding toward. He gripped the steering wheel hard and managed to swerve out of the way just in time. The VW had no power steering and McCoy had only his body strength to move that huge vehicle out of the way, but he just about did it. "Why didn't you just say 'stop'?" He mumbled to Spock.
"I think that's enough for one day, don't you, Bones?" Kirk asked, trying to subliminally make him return the camper van.
It worked. "Yep, you're right, Jim."
McCoy turned the vehicle around and soon they were back where they started.
"That was fun," McCoy said, once they had all jumped out of the camper van, and were well away from it.
"I won't tell anyone if you won't," McCoy said and Kirk agreed.
"Vulcans cannot lie." Spock replied sternly.
"Well," Leonard Horatio McCoy walked over to Spock, "It wouldn't really be lying. It would be more like, er... looking our for a friend."
"That seems logical, doctor."