This is going to be my first fanfic that I will be progressively updating. Please be patient with me. All my other stories are one shot's and suck terribly but I was just struck with this awesome idea about a badass Bella and had to write it down.

A little information about me.

Well, I'm in my teen years, I'm not going to tell you when, and am an amateur writer. I don't mean fanfic's, I mean real books. I have four or five in the process at the present and they WILL be my top priority.

But this idea was just too good to pass up so I will be updating as the story comes to me. I won't make any promises about my updating progress but I can promise to do my best to update. I give my word.

I will be taking suggestions in the reviews so if you have any please review. Otherwise, constructive criticism is welcome along with any praise you would like to bestow upon me. So, with further ado... Here I go.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters from her book. And, as I read in one of my favorite fanfics, not my sandbox just my sandcastle.

Chaper One:

"We've got to leave Forks," Edward said abruptly turning around to face me.

I thought we were walking? I looked back and could see the house. Some walk.

Then what he said hit me.

"Why," I asked in desperation.

"Carlisle's supposed to be ten years older than he looks," he responded looking me in the eyes unemotionally. "People are starting to notice."

Something doesn't seem right.

But then all other thoughts left my mind as I thought of what I have to say to Charlie; he'll be crushed.

"Okay, I..." I trailed off; I gotta think of something to say to Charlie.

I looked up at him to find him staring at me intensely; suddenly I got it.

"When you say 'we'..."

He just looked at me before saying, "I mean to my family and myself."

My heart clenched in fear before I realized what this was about, "Edward, what happened with's nothing."

"You're right," he said abruptly making me fill with relief, "It was nothing. Nothing the way in the way I always expected and nothing compared to what could have happened."

"You just don't belong in my world, Bella," he said like it was some sort of excuse to break my heart.

I sucked in a breathe through my teeth, "I belong with you."

"No, you don't."

My stubbornness reared its head, "I'm coming."

He smiled ruefully, "Bella. I don't want you to come."

I felt like he ripped my heart out and slapped me at the same time, "You don't want me?"


"This changes things," I gasped trying not to sound too pathetic.

"But if it's not too much to ask...can you promise me something? Don't do anything reckless."

"For Charlie's sake, of course," he added before I could get the wrong idea.

"And I'll promise something to you in return. This is the last time you'll ever see me. I won't come back. And you can go on with your life...without any interference from me. It will be like... I never existed, I promise."

I shuddered as it started to rain; I tried again, "If this is about my soul, take it. I don't want without you."

"It's not about your soul," Edward said. "You're just not good for me."

"I'm not good enough for you," I squeaked.

Forget about losing my heart I feel like my entire chest is a black hole, threatening to suck me into the dark, dangerous abyss of pain and hurt.

"I'm just sorry," he said then paused giving me hope that maybe he cared about me in the least, "I let this go on for so long."

"Please..." I whimpered wrapping my arms around myself.

Stop torturing me and just leave already!

"Goodbye," he whispered.

But by the time it took for me to blink the rain away he was gone; it was the last time I'd ever see him. My love. My soul mate.




I staggered forward and scrapped my hand against a tree for balance and thought bitterly that it's a good thing he left or I would be dead. I felt like my chest was collapsing as I collapsed down onto the ground trying to keep myself together.

I curled against the tree, desperate for something to keep me here because otherwise I would be lost in the gaping hole that is my chest.

But then I felt a different pain that made me open my eyes. I looked down at my hand in wonder. How can I feel anything other than this all-consuming pain? I looked at my hand as a blood-red liquid seeped out of my hand and dropped onto the ground.


What got me into this whole mess.

It's all my fault. Not Jasper's. If I hadn't been so human and so clumsy he wouldn't have left. Jasper was just following his instincts.

I clenched my fist and a darker red seeped out somehow giving me the strength I need. This is my blood. The blood that gives me life. It blood that lets me live.

They can't have it.

Now don't get me wrong I don't blame Jasper but it's mine. No one can have it. Not James, not Jasper, and certainly not Victoria.

Then I realized I wasn't sick. Maybe it's because I can't smell it thanks to the rain or because of some other reason but I wasn't sick.

I'm changing. Not in the way I had hoped but changing none the less and for better or for worse it's going to happen and so help me I'm going to make it good.

I jumped up and marched back into the house, wringing my hair out as I went. I stormed up the stairs and into the bathroom to take a shower to contemplate.

I turned on the water as hot as I could take it before stripping and getting in. I squirted as much shampoo as I could onto my head before furiously scrubbing like it could somehow rid me of all memories of him.

Maybe it couldn't but that didn't mean it couldn't get rid of his smell. I scrubbed hardly before finally rinsing and lathering it up with conditioner. After that I washed myself with regular soap before rinsing and getting out.

I wrapped a towel around myself before walking into my room and finger combing my hair. I pulled on some sweats and a cami before realizing they smelled like him.

I ripped them off and threw them on the floor then going through the rest of my closet searching for any piece of clothing that didn't smell like him. Most of the clothes were ones Alice picked out for me or some of the clothes that Renée got for me that Alice approved of. But in the back of my closet there were a few scrapes of clothing that I hadn't worn in my whole time here.

There were some really short shorts and a sports bra that didn't really fit but would just have to do until I could get new clothes. I brushed my hair out quickly before running downstairs to get a garbage bag.

I rushed back upstairs before stuffing all the smelly into the bag and lugging it back down stairs and into the garbage bag. I but my hands on my hips proudly as the front door opened.

"Bella," Charlie called, "I brought pizza!"

"Great," I called back; I'm starving.

"And friends," he added as he walked into the kitchen with the pizzas box open and blocking his face.

Charlie sat the pizza box on the counter as two people followed him into the kitchen; one in a wheelchair and one that looked like he's on steroids.

"Jake, Billy," I greeted, going up to them and hugging them, "how are you?"

They just stared open-mouthed at me and remained motionless as I hugged them.

Charlie turned around with his mouth full of pizza, "Come on, guys. Get some piz-"

I looked back at Charlie as he stopped in the middle of whatever he was saying; he was staring at me with an open mouth too.

"Aww, Jeez," I said to him, going and getting a slice of piece, "at least close your mouth."

Finally Charlie said something as I took my first bite, "B-Bella! Go get some clothes on, young lady!"

I looked down at myself and blushed head to toe; I threw my pizza on the floor before running upstairs chased by the sounds of Billy and Charlie's laughter along with Jake's objections.

"Don't waste the pizza!"

I threw myself in my room before going into my closet. The only things I could find were some skinny jeans and a sweatshirt; I pulled on the sweatshirt.

I sheepishly crept back downstairs to find the old men still laughing their asses of and Jake blushing as he stared of into space.

I cleared my throat as I walked in making their eyes snap over to me; Charlie and Billy laughed harder than ever and Jake blushed harder than I did.

"Sorry, for flashing you," I said ducking my head and tucking my hair behind my ear.

"It's alright," Billy chuckled, "life was getting boring anyway."

I fought of a blush as I threatened, "If you ever tell anyone about this I'll kill you all!"

That made them absolutely roar with laughter.

I got a plate and sat down all while growling to myself about stupid men.

"So, Bells," Jake said around some pizza, "want to come hang out tomorrow. I could teach you about mechanics or just hang out."

Normally I would turn down such a generous offer but I needed something to do tomorrow and there's something about his smile that makes the hole shrink a little.

"Sure," I said shrugging, "why not?"

"Great," he beamed so wide I'm surprised his face didn't crack.

"So, Bella," Billy said, "I hear the Cullen's left."

Hearing their name made the hole in my chest pulse painfully but I hide it quickly.

"Dad," Jake whined.

"No," I said to Jake, "it's alright."

"Yeah," I said turning back to Billy bravely, "we broke up today."

"You did," they all asked.

"Yeah," I said slowly.

"Are you alright," Jake asked.

"Well, good riddance," Billy said not giving me time to answer to Jake.

"Billy," Charlie scolded then turned back to me awkwardly, "so, err, you're okay with them leaving. You were, uh, really involved with him. All of them."

I rolled my eyes and waved my hand, "I just thought they were really cool."

Both literally and figuratively.

"Oh," he said, "well, good."

I finished my pizza and dumped my plate in the garbage, "Goodnight, guys. See you tomorrow Jake. Around nine, alright?"

"Yeah," he shouted as I walked up the stairs, "see you then."

I shook my head as I went into my room and curled down under my covers; I desperately wished for his cool body to be lying next to me.

I started thinking over everything I knew about vampires or the cold ones ignoring the bursts of pain that it sent through me. I thought over my blood; I used to get sick at the thought of it but now I find some comfort in the thought that there's blood in me right now. Keeping me alive.

They can't have it. It's mine and I will always have it. I am immune after all.

Leave it to me to be the only human stubborn enough to fight and win against the venom. All of this could have been avoided but no. I just had to be immune to the venom.

I rubbed the scar on my wrist subconsciously; taking comfort in the coldness of it. It's almost as cold as his skin.

Then something happened; the sadness and hurt that was swirling around inside me started to turn into something else. Something that burned.


Now instead of hurt and pain all I felt from the hole is anger and bitterness. But it didn't hurt anymore. Just burned.

I grinned as a brilliant idea came to me.

Well, made not brilliant but it seems like a good idea.

Knowledge is power and vampires think they know everything. So if I have the knowledge of their weakness why not exploit that weakness.

Look out, Buffy. Here I come.