Donna stared at the playground in front of her, her fingers absentmindedly squishing her bagel, deforming it to the point where calling it a bagel, would an insult to other bagels. She must have looked crazy, she thought, like some crazy middle aged woman staring at other peoples children, wishing what it would be like to dress them up as a princess or a sailor and take them to a party. Which in all fairness would be a pretty accurate description. Donna had always been a feisty, strong and confident woman, a woman who strived and embraced independence, who much like her boss, Harvey Specter, believed she didn't need anybody else to make her happy.
But something changed. She couldn't tell you when something shifted inside of her, but she could tell you the life changing effect it's had.
Living on her own didn't feel liberating any more, it was just lonely, the sound of her own thoughts driving her crazy, the unoccupied space in her apartment a constant reminder that besides her parents, no one out there truly loved her. She had found herself wondering what life would be like if she didn't work sixty hour weeks at the law firm, if her job role changed to executive assistant and full time mom.
She used to squirm at the sight of kids, wondering how someone could dedicate their life to raising a person, but now it was all she ever dreamt about. It consumed her.
She wanted to create her own little human, shape him or her into a respectable, hard working person, she wanted someone who she could love unconditionally, and who would love her just the same.
Deep down Donna knew she had more to give than just being a lawyer's assistant; she was destined for greater things.
She returned to the office later than she had anticipated, losing all concept of time as she let her wind run wild. She placed her bag under her desk as she noticed a large brown envelope lying on her desk. She eyed it cautiously, the letter post marked to her as her stomach flipped uneasily. She slid into her cubicle quietly, flipping over the envelope, making sure no one had secretly looked through it before she had the chance. Because that would be an interesting conversation she would like to have with no one ever.
Opening it slowly, she pulled out the contents, looking around the corridor, making sure the coast was clear. Donna bit her lip as she flicked through the papers, her eyebrows furrowing and raising with each page, her eyes rolling several times.
"Jeez" she muttered to herself "why on earth would some of these people want to procreate, one of them is more than enough"
She scoffed out a laugh at the next page, trying to keep it together as she quietly read over the description "sporty, adventurous individual who likes long walks on the beach and watching sunsets with that special... talk about walking cliché."
"Donna, can you come in here a sec please?" her head shot up at the sound of his voice coming through her intercom as he looked at her through the glass with a pointed look.
She sighed, pushing her chair away from her desk as she composed herself, swaying her hips as she entered his office. "What can I do for you Harvey? And if you dare ask me to get you a coffee, you can do one. This dress" she said, pointing to the floaty blue dress she was wearing "Is not cooperating with the wind, and if I show my underwear to one more person, I swear..."
"Donna, shut up" he interrupted her, his tone light as he pointed to the sofa "sit." She nodded quietly, taking a seat opposite him as she fiddled with the hem of her dress. "What's gotten into you today?"
She looked up, raising an eyebrow "Nothing?"
He shook his head, he didn't believe her. He had known Donna for the best part of 13 years, he knew her routine inside and out, he knew every indicator, every tell tale sign that something was on her mind. "Donna" he sighed getting up from his chair, perching himself on the edge of his desk "You took your full hour lunch break, you never take more than 20 minutes usually. You've missed 10 calls today, you've been staring at some random stack of papers all afternoon, and when Sarah from the 35th floor brought her baby into work to show everyone this morning, you ran off to the bathroom and cried."
She gasped in offense "Err, no I didn't" she protested, referring to the baby crying incident. It totally happened, but she would never openly admit that.
"Donna, I'm worried about you." He admitted, taking a step towards her as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Just tell me what's up. If you need a day, take a goddamn day, I'm sure I can just above survive without you for one day." She frowned as she shirked from his grip, standing up, pacing the room.
"Harvey, give it a rest." She insisted, "I'm fine"
"Hey!" he exclaimed "Don't get shirty with me, I care."
"Well stop caring, It's not a good look on you." she lied, she just wanted this conversation to be over.
He stopped in front of her, blocking her from pacing further "you're going to burn a whole in my carpet if you keep pacing like this. Just tell me Donna."
She sighed, knowing that he wasn't going to let her be until he found out the truth. "I think I'm having a midlife crisis"
He laughed, "You haven't gone and brought yourself a cheeky little sports car have you?"
Donna pursed her lips together tightly, part of her wanting to laugh at his poor attempt of a joke, the other half wanting to punch him square in the jaw. "I want a baby" she blurted out, letting out a shaky breath.
"O...kay" he replied slowly, not expecting that response.
"I want a baby soon" she clarified.
"You kind of need a significant other for that..." She rolled her eyes; there he was stating the goddamn obvious again.
"I'm going to go through a sperm bank, that's what all the papers are about."
His eyes went wide in shock "A sperm bank?!" he asked incredulously
She half shrugged "Well...yeah. I don't see men lining up to be my husband let alone my baby daddy.
She rolled her eyes "Look Harvey, I don't need or want a lecture from you. This isn't how I imagined this happening, hell, i didn't imagine kids happening full stop, but I'm not getting any younger..."
"Donna you're 36, women are having babies well into their forties these days..."
She shook her head, scoffing slightly "I don't expect you to understand Harvey. I don't want to be knocking on 60 when my kid is graduating high school. I don't want to be mistaken as the grandmother rather than the mother in the playground. I don't have to wait and see if i find someone who can put up with my awesomeness."
"You really want this" he stated simply, his expression softening as he looked at the desperation in her eyes.
She gave him a small smile and nodded "I really want this."
Harvey fell silent, his gaze moving to the window, eyes focused on the concrete jungle as Donna stood there awkwardly wondering if the conversation had just ended. "I'll do it."
Her eyebrows furrowed together, head cocking slightly to one side "I'm sorry, what?" she asked, confused. Had Harvey been listening to what she'd been saying for the last five minutes? Or was he having some sort of mini stroke? Both were equally viable options as far as she was concerned.
"I'll do it." he repeated, dragging his gaze away from the skyline to look at her dead in the eyes, a hardened expression on his face. Donna had always prided herself on the fact that to 99.9% of the world's population, Harvey Specter was impossible to read, a mystery, but for her, she could tell his mood with a kink of a tie, a crease on this shirt. And right now? She knew he was being serious.
"Harvey..." his name escaped her lips in a whisper, the disbelief evident in her tone, a quiet warning to him, that this wasn't a joke to her.
He gave her a curt nod, undoing the button on his suit jacket "Donna you're a perfectionist, you deserve 'the' baby, how are you supposed to know what your potential child is going to turn out like from a generic information sheet from a sperm bank. This way you'll at least have the comfort in knowing where the other half of your baby's genetics have come from and my God it would be the greatest mix of chromosomes the world has ever seen."
Donna just stared at him wide eyed, her eyes darting to the four corners of the room, searching for hidden cameras, convinced she was being punk'd "You're fucking kidding me, right?"
"No." He shook his head. "You've done a lot for me over the years, more than a life times supply of handbags and shoes could ever make up for, so I want to do this for you."
She ran her hands down her face, not giving a single care that her make up was probably now smeared over her face as she reached for his decanter of scotch, pouring herself a large glass, before knocking it back in a matter of seconds. Her face scrunched up in disgust as she blurted out her response "Harvey, this is a baby we're talking about here, a real live human being."
"Holy shit, babies are real?" he deadpanned, his eyes rolling. "Donna, I know what this means, but seriously, you'd be a fantastic mom, and if you want to do this, let me help."
"Harvey, I don't know..." This wasn't a simple yes or no question, this was fucking huge. Getting pregnant from an anonymous sperm donor is one thing, but getting pregnant by your boss/best friend, is all kinds of fucked up. They wouldn't even make a movie out of that shit. What would having a baby with Harvey Specter even be like? Would he be involved? Would he want to be involved...
No, she thought, this couldn't happen.
"Just sleep on it. Okay?" She nodded, quickly excusing herself from his office, grabbing her purse from her desk; her legs carrying her hurriedly down the corridor towards Rachel's office.
"Donna" she greeted with a smile, tearing her eyes away from a case file "What's up?"
Rachel stared at the older woman, her stomach flipping uneasily at the panicked expression on the red head's face. "Donna, it's only 4..."
"Rachel this is non-negotiable, get your fucking coat, now."
Harvey let out a breath he didn't know he was holding as she ran off down the corridor, his hand shaking slightly. "What the fuck" he muttered out loud, pacing the room, much like Donna had been doing only moments before.
"Harvey, I've got news for you, the Lawson case? We've got the bastards." Mike declared victoriously as he entered Harvey's office, a wide grin on his face, a grin that instantly fell at the sight of the older man.
Harvey didn't flinch at Mike's sudden presence in the room, he didn't mutter a word at his news, he just kept pacing, and pacing.
Mike looked at his mentor, concerned. In the four years he had known the man, he had seen him so on edge. In fact, Mike had only seen him lose his shit perhaps once, and even then that was only because he was off his head on weed. "Harvey... what's happened?"
"I think" he stopped in front of the man, inhaling and exhaling slowly "I think, I may have just...fuck." he exclaimed loudly "fuck."
"Harvey, what?" Mike pushed, desperate to know, all sorts of scenarios running through his mind.
"I think that there's a chance that I'm going to be a dad."
GUESS WHO'S BACK?
Yeah i know it's only been like 5 days...
Okay, sooo, I think i've just started a new fic with this. It randomly came to me and I had to write something down. Theres so many fics of the two of them, falling in love and getting pregnant or having a secret love child from years ago, that i thought this would be an interesting line to take, seeming as Donna is of age where she may feel like time is running out etc.
As per usual, let me know what you think, if you want me to continue this or not. I go back to uni soon so here's your opportunity for crazy updates.