The Iron Chef: Guardian Force style!!!
Written by Karl L. Schubaltz
*Rudolph and Camford are sitting in front of a TV* Camford: I got such a good feeling about this... Rudolph: So do I. To raise public awareness of the Guardian Force, we decided to write this show... Camford: *smile* *the cameras roll* Announcer: Iron Chef! *music* Let's meet our judges. *the judges are Col. Schubaltz, Mjr. Rob Hermann, Captain O'Connell, and Hilz* Schubaltz: *swallows an entire bottle of Pepsid AC* Hermann and O'Connell: *programming the Poison Control Center on their cellphones* Hilz: *lifts the table cloth up, Ambient is sitting there with a bib on and holding a fork and knife* Hehehehe... Announcer: The first two contendors are from the Republican side, preparing a delicacy from the Nyx Continent. Meet Van Flyheight and Fiona! *the audience cheers* Announcer: On the Imperial side, preparing the Emperor's favorite dish, is Thomas Schubaltz and Raven!!! Raven fanclub: *screams out to their hero* Thomas: Why'd I get stuck with you? Raven: Shut up and help me fix this... Announcer: On the neutral side, cooking a nice Native cuisine is Moonbay and Irvine!! Schubaltz: *opens another bottle of Pepcid AC and swallows the entire contents, washing it down with Maalox* Alright, I'm ready... Hermann: Hey!!! What's the number for the Toxic Control Center again?? Moonbay: MY COOKING IS GOOD!!!! Irvine: *sticks his pinky in his ear and twists it around inside a few times* Ugh... Hermann: Make sure to call Dr. D too, we might find a new species of mold here...!! Moonbay: *flings a pan at Hermann* Hermann: AUGH!! *ducks* *the pan nails Hilz* Hilz: OUCH!!! Raven: HA HA!!! Schubaltz: Hey, Moonbay!!! Be sure to make that world famous hard tack and gruel of yours!! Moonbay: *flips Schubaltz off* Irvine: Moonbay, we needed that pan! *they get cooking* Van: *cutting the carrots* Hilz: *puts his hand on the reciever* Hey, what do you guys want? O'Connell: Who'd you call? Hilz: Yen Chang Chinese take-outs. Hermann: Sweet and sour chicken with fried rice, no eggroll. O'Connell: Egg drop soup, two eggrolls Schubaltz: Triple Seafood deluxe, steamed rice, one eggroll. Hilz: *tells the order and writes the price down* Hermann, O'COnnell, Schubaltz: *hands Hilz their share* Raven: *stirring the sauce* Thomas: *pours some vegetables in the sauce* Raven: *continues stirring* Irvine and Moonbay: *arguing over ingrediants* Schubaltz: *to Hilz* They fight like a married couple. Hilz: *smirk* Reminds me of home. Hermann: The food's here. The judges: *pigging out on Chinese* Hilz: *steals some of Hermann's meal* Hehe Schubaltz: *does the same thing* Heh. *smirk* Van: *making the sauce* Thomas: *cutting the chives* Irvine: *rolling the dough, now has a bandage on his face* Moonbay: *singing while she's cooking* Raven: Kill me now Thomas: Here here... Raven: *smirk of agreement* Hilz: *cracks open a fortune cookie* You will have great many successes and good fortune. Schubaltz: *smirking* ...in bed. All four: *snicker* *time runs out* Announcer: Cut to commercial!
*commercial's over, it's time for the judgement* *the first dish is Van/Fiona's* Hermann: Is it edible? Schubaltz: *braves the first bite* O.O *takes off his hat and spits the stuff out into it* O'Connell: Eh? Schubaltz: There's... too... much... SALT!!!! Fiona: *shy blush* Announcer: Not good at all... *the next dish is Thomas and Raven's* Hilz: *cleverly shovels some to Ambient, then takes a bite* O.O *grabs Schubaltz's hat and pukes in it as well, then hands it back to him* Ambient: *bursts out, struggling, then falls down limp* Hilz: O.O Ambient!!! Announcer: Not good at all either... *thumb's down* *the next dish is Moonbay and Irvine's* Hermann: Is it safe? Moonbay: *growl* Hermann and O'Connell: *take a bite* O.O Schubaltz: *hands them his hat* Hermann and O'Connell: *puke in it* Schubaltz: *throws the hat away and pulls out another from hammerspace and puts it on* Announcer: Not good at all either... gods, they all sucked. That's it for the Iron Chef, until next time! Rudolph and Camford: *in their chairs, their eyes twitching* Maybe this wasn't such a hot idea.. Camford: Back to the drawing board...