Bruce Banner was a freaking hippie. Maybe he'd always been a hippie, maybe it was just more evident now that they were living together, Steve didn't know, but he was, undoubtedly, a hippie.
"I mean, he does yoga," Steve ranted to Natasha. They were in the gym of the Avengers' Tower, doing their morning exercise routine. "And he's a vegetarian."
"Maybe he's just trying to be healthy," she replied, beating the crap out of a punching bag, which was making small whining noises that sounded suspiciously like, "Heelllp meee."
"That's what I thought," Steve said. "But then I caught him making flower crowns while singing 'Purple Haze' by Jimi Hendrix."
"Ok… so maybe he is a hippie," Natasha relented, sending the punching bag flying across the room. "Why does that bother you so much?"
"I didn't say it bothered me," Steve snapped. "I just… do you think he injects marijuana?"
"Do I think he injects marijuana," she repeated. "No, I don't think he injects marijuana, Steve, because people don't inject marijuana. He might smoke pot, though."
"How does one smoke a pot?" Steve asked, visibly confused. "Do you know what, never mind. The thing is, I'm worried about him. What if he is doing drugs? I mean, he's a hippie, and hippies do drugs. I'm considering grounding him and taking away his cell phone."
"You can't do that. First of all, Bruce is a grown man, you can't ground him. It's not like he goes anywhere anyway," Natasha told him. "Second, he doesn't even have a cell phone, and to my knowledge, doesn't want one. Stop trying to act like an over controlling parent."
Steve sighed. Natasha just didn't understand how being decades older than all of them obviously made him more responsible. After all, he had never done anything like making the rash decision to take part in a never-before-done science experiment with someone he'd never even met.
"Whatever. I'm going to go catch Bruce doing something immature and irresponsible like braiding Bucky's hair." With that, Steve left.
"Bruce! Why are you meditating so hard that you are literally floating in thin air?" shouted Steve to Bruce, who was meditating so hard that he was literally floating in thin air.
"It helps with my anger management issues," said Bruce. He was wearing a flower crown made of pink roses and unicorn fur. "Want to go tree hugging later?"
Then Steve passed out because he couldn't handle the 21st century.