THE HOLY WATER BUCKET CHALLENGE
Just a little drabble inspired by a Tumblr post.
I don't own Supernatural.
It was Gabriel's idea – who else would ever even think of something like this anyway? It was shortly after his older brothers – Michael and Lucifer – had been locked into the cage along with Sam Winchester and Adam Milligan. Dean Winchester had retired from hunting and was living in suburbia with some chick and a kid that wasn't even his. Castiel had gone back to Heaven and was currently duking it out with Raphael. And Gabriel was somewhere down in Cancun, drinking a margarita.
Not only that, but he was bored.
One step away from sticking himself with an angel blade bored.
In an effort to try to subdue his dullness, Gabriel pulled out his cellphone and went on Facebook. Technology was one of the many reasons Gabriel loved the human race. All the advances they'd made in just the past few decades were astronomical. It was incredible how much they were able to create. There was no doubt in Gabriel's mind that his Father had been right: humans were so much better than any angel.
As Gabriel began scrolling through the various posts on Facebook, a video caught his eyes. Gabriel tapped on the play button to reveal Balthazar standing in front of his latest abode wearing a gray tank top and a pair of white shorts. He looked rather uncomfortable.
"I – Balthazar – have been . . . nominated by Inias to do the Ice Bucket Challenge. I nominate Castiel, Rachel, and Samandriel." With that being said, Balthazar bent over and picked up a red bucket off the ground. Gabriel could hear the icy water sloshing around inside it. Balthazar hoisted the bucket over his head, and dumped the icy contents over his body. Gabriel bit back a fit of giggles as Balthazar – or his vessel – squealed at the sudden coldness. Angels themselves were immune to the cold, but their vessels were not as lucky.
"Father above, that's cold!" Balthazar exclaimed. He was dripping wet now, and brushing his dirty blond hair out of his eyes. "Alright – now it's your turn. And Castiel, don't think just because you don't have a Facebook that this challenge doesn't apply to you!" With that, the video ended, and Gabriel got a wonderful idea.
A wonderful, awful idea.
Crowley was relaxing in one of his many "vacation spots" as he called them. He was sitting in a trailer park somewhere in Kentucky. Now that Lucifer was out of the way, Crowley had been rather busy the past few weeks rounding up his most loyal followers and having them all imprisoned, or executed. Since that business was now over and done with, he was taking it easy. Holding a glass of whiskey and sitting in a comfy recliner, he watched a recorded episode of America's Next Top Model.
It was during this time that he was very rudely summoned. The next thing Crowley knew, he was being transported to some hotel room in Mexico. At first, he expected to see Dean Winchester, most likely trying to get his brother out of hell, but the location was off. The Winchesters hardly ever left America. However, out of all the people and monsters he expected to call him, he did not expect to see Gabriel – the archangel – standing there with his arms folded across his chest and a smirk on his face.
"Hey, Crowley," Gabriel said cordially enough. "I'd offer you a drink, but it seems ya already got one." He motioned to the whiskey that Crowley still held.
"Gabriel . . ." Crowley began. This was all rather peculiar. "Don't take this the wrong way, but . . . What are you doing in Mexico . . . and alive?"
Gabriel snorted. "Oh, you don't have to worry about that – just a little smoke and mirrors. Luci never saw it coming. Anyway, I want to talk to you."
"Oh?" Crowley said, taking a step forward. Normally, this would be the moment when a Devil's Trap stopped him, but he was surprised that he could freely move about the room. Then again, he supposed that Gabriel didn't really have to worry about keeping Crowley's powers contained . . . After all, he was :Heaven's most terrifying weapon" as the nerd in the trench coat had once put it. "What can I do you for, Gabriel?"
"I have . . . a challenge," the trickster said with a smirk.
"Really? Care to enlighten me?"
"The Holy Water Bucket Challenge. And I challenge you – Crowley, the King of Hell, and all of your demonic subjects to do it."
Crowley stared at the archangel for a few seconds. "You're off your rocker, aren't you? No wonder they kicked you out of Heaven."
The archangel visibly stiffened, and for a moment, Crowley felt a twinge of fear. Angels were almost always stronger than demons, but most of those rats with wings, Crowley could handle. The archangels, however, were an entirely different story. Gabriel could obliterate him in seconds.
"First of all, I don't appreciate being insulted by the likes of you," Gabriel said sharply. "In fact, for that little comment . . . I could just smite you here and now."
All demons – even the King of Hell – have a strong sense of self-preservation. And at the thought of getting killed by an archangel was absolutely terrifying. He took a step back, trying to keep his movements calm and languid.
But that didn't fool Gabriel – he'd seen the glimmer of fear in the demon's eyes. "But . . . I think I'll let you go. On one condition."
Crowley let out the slightest sighs of relief. "Oh?"
"I want you – and all of your demons – to do the Holy Water Bucket Challenge. Get a bucket of Holy Water, and dump it on your head. Video tape it, and post it on Facebook. And then, I'll leave you and your kind alone for a good century or two."
Crowley pondered this for a moment. For a demon to soak themselves in holy water was absolutely masochistic. But what choice did he have?
The King let out a labored sigh before looking Gabriel right in the eye. "Fine."
Gabriel was back in Mexico, at the same bar, flirting with a busty blond when his phone vibrated. When the blond turned to request another drink, he casually checked his phone. He had a Facebook notification. He opened the Facebook app and saw that Crowley had tagged him in a post. But it wasn't just a post; it was a video too.
As the video played, Gabriel saw Crowley sitting in lawn chair in his usual, jet-black attire. His legs were crossed and he looked like he was 500% done with life in general. "I was nominated by Gabriel – an archangel of the Lord – to do the Holy Water Bucket Challenge. I nominate every single one of my demons to do the challenge next. And you better do it, or I will find you and throw you back into the pit."
With that, a man stepped forward and dumped a bucket of holy water over the King's head. Gabriel turned down the volume as low as he could as smoke rose from Crowley's skin. Not only was his skin smoking, but it was also as red as a tomato. Crowley was screaming like a mad man. He gripped the lawn chair so tight that he actually cracked the plastic arms.
As the initial pain subsided, Crowley looked at the camera, his face dead-serious, and said, "I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS, YOU WINGED SON OF A BITCH!"
And then the video ended.
In the next few days, Gabriel had thousands of Facebook notifications. Sometimes, he was almost certain that he could hear demons all around the world screaming as they did the challenge on their king's orders.
Gabriel smirked. This has to be my best idea yet.