Forgotten Conscience Chapter 67
One night in the name of love
Author's Note: A little post-holiday present for everyone.
I did the right thing didn't I?
I walk into my dorm room, closing the door behind me.
I mean I know I hurt Riley but it's for the best. If Faith and I are going to have any kind of a chance I can't have my relationship with Riley looming over our heads.
I take off my jacket and throw it over the computer chair at my desk.
Of course whether Riley and I are broken up or not won't matter at all unless I can make things right with Faith.
I throw myself face first on to the bed.
But how do I do that?
I prop myself up on my elbows and bury my face in my hands.
How do I convince her that what we have is real and passionate without her turning it into some evil plan?
I move my hands to pull my hair back and let my head drop into the pillow.
I can't... she's not going to believe in us unless she wants to. Given our last conversation I don't see her believing in us anytime soon. There's no telling what will happen when the spell comes off, which means I have until the spell comes off to convince her that she loves me.
I roll over on to my back, pushing my hair out of my face as I do.
Unless Willow finds a way to break the spell tonight and we have it all ready for tomorrow. I'm screwed if that happens. God Faith, I wish you were here.
All of the sudden there's a knock at the door. I sit up in bed and look to the door.
No... it couldn't be, could it? Oh god please let it be her. Okay Buffy there's only one way to find out.
I get up off the bed and fix my clothes and make up as best I can in case it is her and run my hands through my hair once as I move to the door. I open it and my heart jumps.
I take a step back.
"W... what are you..."
She comes at me and I'm still in shock. She grabs me and kisses me deeply.
"It hurts Buffy... it hurts so much..."
She kisses me between phrases.
I barely manage to think, is she hurt? Is she bleeding?
"Faith... Faith what's wrong? Did you... did you... did you go... go slaying? Did you, did something...?"
"No Buffy the... the thought... the thought of... of losing you it... it hurts, it hurts so much."
"Faith you... you're not going to... to lose me... no matter... no matter what."
She pulls me to her, grabbing at me in a desperate attempt to feel... something.
"You don't know that... you, you can't know that... the things I've said..."
"It's all right F... Faith... I forgive... you... as long as we end up together then all is forgiven... as long as we love... each other then we'll work through it..."
"But... but what if... what if we can't, I mean... the spell... the spell it..."
I put my hand against her cheeks.
"We'll find a way to be together... no matter what it takes."
We move towards the bed as she starts kissing me deeper.
"I want to... to... I want us to work... work through this but... but the pain... the feeling that I might l-lose how happy you m-make me... it hurts."
We hit the foot of the bed and she falls on top of me.
"I need you B. I need you to help me make it better Buffy."
I feel her hand push up under my shirt, sliding against my covered skin.
"Of course, F-Faith what... whatever you n-need."
She takes my hand in hers, guiding it down her body between her legs. She presses my hand against her sweetness and my whole body tenses up.
"I need you Buffy..."
She looks at me and it's as if I can feel how desperate she is. I feel how much she needs this.
"I need to feel something other than this... this horrible p-pain. It won't stop..."
She runs her free hand through my hair and stares into me.
"You're the only one B... you're the only one who can make me feel anything. You're... you're the one who can make all my pain go away."
What she wants from me is sex, what she needs from me is love.
As if she senses the battle going on in my head she puts more of her weight on me. She whispers to me as our lips get inches from each other.
A tear drips down her face and onto my lips and I don't have the power to resist her as I taste her tears. I kiss her deeply as I flip her on her back. I push her long chestnut locks out of her face as I look down at her.
My hand moves against her leathers and she gasps with pleasure and her body pushes up against mine.
"Faith I've never d-done anything like, like this... before."
"Just do... to me what, what you would do to your... self."
She looks at me and tries to smile but the tears streaming down her cheek tells me she's hurting inside. I wipe away the tear with my thumb.
"Faith if I... if I do this, I want you to know that this isn't about me, this isn't even about us..."
I move my hand up and pop the button on her pants.
"This is about you."
I push my hand under her leathers, unzipping her zipper as I get deeper.
"It's all right Faith."
My hand moves under her thong and she gasps with ecstasy.
I didn't want it to be this way, I wanted it to be different.
My fingers press against her warm, wet lips and she moans.
"Buffy I... I didn't want it to happen this way I just... it hurts so much."
"Ssh, I know. I know it hurts..."
She arches into me as I start to slip two fingers inside her. I kiss her lightly and look down at her as her breathing quickens.
"I'll make everything better."
She lets out a deep breath she'd been holding in as I start to pump into her slowly. I kiss her as her hips start to move to the rhythm of my fingers inside her. My pace gets quicker and her whole body gets into it.
"It's okay Faith... it's all gonna be okay."
She closes her eyes as the pleasure over takes her and I feel her insides start to squeeze against my fingers.
I can feel my heart pounding in my chest.
Her hands move up and rests against my back. My fingers pump faster and deeper into her.
"Faith look at me..."
She manages to pry her eyelids apart to look at me.
"Faith I want you to feel something..."
She doesn't say anything as every thrust I make sends her closer to orgasm. I take one of her hands from my waist and place it against my thumping heart.
"Can you feel it? Can you feel my heart pounding Faith?"
She manages to moan a response between pants and gasps.
"It's beating for you Faith... it's beating only for you."
I feel the pressure building inside her as I kiss her deeply. I break our kiss as she's pushed over the edge with a final thrust. Her whole body convulses with pleasure, grasping at my sheets with her free hand.
She collapses on the bed, spent. After a few moments she opens her eyes, her hand leaving my chest, as she looks at me. I pull my hand from her panties, licking my fingers clean of her sweet nectar.
I didn't want this to be the way I first tasted her, but it's what she needed.
Her breathing slows and so does mine as I kiss her, tasting her wetness on her own lips. I stop kissing her as I feel her struggle with my belt. I grab her hand to stop her.
She looks up at me with a questioning look.
"But... but I should..."
I pull her hand away from my belt, laying it on the bed next to her head.
"It's okay Faith, I told you..."
I take her in my arms as I lay next to her, holding her close.
"Tonight wasn't about me, it was about you and what you need."
She puts her arm around me as I stroke her hair, her head against my chest.
"We'll be together for real one day... the way we were always meant to. But tonight was about you. All I want from you is to fall asleep here in my arms because tomorrow is a new day... and a new beginning for us."
I look down at her and her eyes are closed, she's sleeping. I hold her a little tighter as I close my eyes and think about how right this is.
Tomorrow, everything will change for us. We'll have everything we've ever wanted.
End of Chapter 67