Forgotten Conscience Chapter 76

Shock

Buffy's POV

"What did you do?"

She stands up and looks at me.

What... what has she done?

She looks down at Riley and then at the blood on her hands, she panics.

"B-Buffy this is... this isn't..."

"What did you do to him?"

I rush to his side to help him and Faith backs off.

"Riley... Riley speak to me."

He's not breathing.

"Oh god Riley speak to me..."

"Buffy he's..."

"SHUT UP!"

I can't believe she did this.

I feel for a pulse.

I can't feel it, there's no pulse. He's gone, he's dead. Riley's gone and I never got a chance to say goodbye. It shouldn't have happened. He shouldn't have died this way. He deserved better than this. But she didn't think so. She killed him without a second thought.

I look down at the stab wounds on his chest and see the knife.

That knife... that, that's her knife. How could she do this to him? How could she do this to me? After everything we've been through, everything we've shared, she still killed someone close to me. She MURDERED someone I CARE about. How could she?

I stand up, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"How? How could you?"

"Buffy I..."

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?"

"I didn't Buffy I swear."

Yeah right.

I bend down and pick the knife up next to Riley.

"Then how do you explain this?"

I start towards her and every step I take makes her back up.

"I-I... I don't know I... I don't know."

"Is that the best you could do? What happened to all your witty come backs Faith? How about 'he got what he deserved' eh? How's that?"

"Buffy please you gotta believe me. I didn't kill him."

Believe her?

"BELIEVE YOU? Like I believed you when you said you didn't kill those girls? Like I believed you when you told me you had feelings for me? FUCK YOU FAITH!"

She starts to cry.

"Please Buffy don't... don't say these... don't do this."

No... no, I'm not going to get taken in because of my feelings.

"Do what? Tell the truth? You're not the kind of person who falls in love, you told me this yourself. How I ever thought you could ever have feelings for me is beyond me."

"Buffy I-I-I know I s-said that but I... I do care about..."

"Don't Faith... don't lie to me anymore. Just don't Faith. I'll make sure you go down for this, even if I have to do it myself."

I take a swing at her and she doesn't even block it as it connects with her face.

Why isn't she fighting back?

"Come on Faith, fight back. It's not any fun unless you fight back."

"I'm not gonna fight you Buffy."

She's finally backed up against a wall and I pin her against the wall with my forearm across her shoulders.

"That's too bad cause I'm itching for some good old fashion violence."

I feel her knife in my hand. I put the bloodied knife to her throat.

"Or maybe I should just put you out of your misery. The way you put Riley out of his."

Her expression hardens but the tears keep streaming down her face.

"If that's what you gotta do to convince yourself you're right..."

She straightens up against the wall despite the knife on her neck.

"Then do it."

I press the knife harder to her neck and stare into her eyes. I can see the pain in her eyes. I can hear it in her voice.

"DO IT! If you can't trust me then I don't wanna live. JUST DO IT! Kill me and become like me. But when you find out that I didn't do this, I won't be around to apologize to. I'll be dead cause you slit my throat and you'll have to live with that."

I stare into her eyes in silence.

I... I... I can't do it.

I release some of the pressure against her neck.

Even with what she's done I can't kill her, I still love her. But she has to pay. She has to pay for killing Riley.

I turn her around and shove her face first against the wall. She looks back at me.

"What are you doing?"

"You're coming with me."

I pull her arms behind her into a double chicken wing pulling it with all my strength. I put the knife in my belt line.

"Buffy..."

"Shut up! I may not be able to bring myself to kill you... but that doesn't get you off the hook..."

I pull her off the wall and lead her to my dorm room.

"You're going to pay for what you did to..."

I look down at Riley's body lying on the floor a few feet away. I loosen my grip a bit as I feel myself start to cry.

"I'm sorry B, I know..."

"I told you to shut up."

I push her into my dorm room.

"You don't get to be sorry."

I throw her face down leaning against the bed and my heart breaks for her.

No... don't let how you feel get in your way.

"Murderers don't get to feel sorry."

I force myself to look away from her as I go over to my closet and take some rope out of my weapons' chest.

She has to pay.

I walk back over to her and she hasn't moved. Her arms are still behind her back. I stand behind her and put her wrists together. I use the rope to tie her wrists together tightly.

"Ow!"

"Oh don't cry. I bet you've felt a lot worse. I bet you've caused a lot worse. I know Riley did, you made sure of that didn't you?"

When I'm sure the rope is tight enough I pull her up off the bed to a standing position. Her head flies back against my shoulder. I feel her hair drape itself over my back and the softness of her neck against my shoulder and for a second I forget, I forget about what she did... about everything and I just wanna be with her. And then I see it. Riley's feet lying there on the floor outside my door. I move away from the bed and push her toward the door.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm taking you to see Giles, so we can figure out what the fuck to do with you."

We leave my dorm room and head down the hall. I look down at Riley's body as we pass it. She stops for a second and I push her on and we head to Giles'.

I'll make things right Riley I promise.

End of Chapter 76