Forgotten Conscience Chapter 82
True love is a bumpy road so try not to pick up hitch hikers
I hope things get worked out. I can't believe that Faith killed an innocent person, much less Riley. Not with the way she feels about Buffy. Faith has too much invested in what they have to jeopardize it now. It was SO obvious, at least to me it was, how happy they were just to be together once they worked out whatever was bugging them. The pure joy was coming off them in waves, it was intense. I was so happy for them. When two people are that right for each other like Buffy and Faith they deserve all the happiness in the world. The way Willow and I are happy.
There's a knock at the door.
Who could that be? Willow would never knock. I gave her a key, besides she said she would be helping her friends most of the night. I wonder who it could be.
I walk over to the door and open it.
She pretty much lunges at me, throwing her arms around my neck as she does.
Help her? Help her how?
I close the door behind us and manage to peel her off me.
Thank god she's not using her full strength.
"Buffy what... what's w-wrong?"
"It was horrible... the, the things... what have I done?"
She's distraught I should try and calm her down.
"Buffy calm, calm d-down. Come let's, come sit on the bed and t-tell me what h-happened."
I lead her over to the left side of the bed and we sit against the edge.
"What, what happened?"
She hugs my ribs tightly, a little too tightly, and I'm not sure what to do.
I want to help her but she's so vulnerable right now, there's no telling what she could do.
I decide she really needs to be comforted right now and put my arm around her, holding her closer.
"The... the things I said. I was so horrible to her I don't blame her for hating me. I wouldn't blame her if she hated me for the rest of her life. I yelled at her, I accused her of murders she didn't commit and worst of all I put a knife to her throat. She may never forgive me."
"It's okay Buffy. It'll be okay."
She lets go of my ribs and looks in my eyes from her own tear soaked eyes.
"But it won't... not without her. I'll never be okay without her. That's why I need your help. I need you to help me get Faith to forgive me. I need you to make Faith love me again."
I wipe away the tears on her cheeks.
"Buffy you, you don't have to w-worry. If she loves you the way I-I know she does then she can't hate you, not really. She, she's just angry with you, but she'll get over it. And I... I can't m-make her love you again... she never stopped loving you."
"Really? Are... are you s-sure?"
"Yes I'm sure."
She wraps her arms around me, hugging me.
"Oh thank you Tara you... you don't know how much this means to me."
Actually with the way her aura's changed in the past few minutes I'd say I kinda do.
"Just give her some time and a little space and she'll come back to you."
She takes my head in her hands with a longing look in her eyes.
"Thank you so much..."
She presses her lips against mine lightly.
What do I do? She's so vulnerable right now if I reject her I could really hurt her. She could really break down, emotionally. But this isn't right we shouldn't...
She kisses me again, deeper this time, more passionately.
I don't know what to do so like on instinct I kiss her back, gently. I don't want her to get too into this it could lead to...
She leans into me, straddling me, grinding her hips against mine. I feel her hands start to grab at me, running her hands along my sides, groping my breasts as her tongue slips into my mouth.
This is wrong, we, we should stop this but... but it's not like I can stop her. She sorta has me at a disadvantage.
She breaks our kiss and I look up at her, eyes closed, tears streaming down her face, she lets out a deep breath, whispering to me.
After a moment her eyes fly open in shock. She moves off the bed and takes a few steps back.
"Oh... oh god Tara I, I didn't mean to..."
I take a second to get over the shock of what just happened and then sit up.
"It's, it's okay Buffy I under-understand."
"No... no it's not I mean, you're with Willow and I'm, even though she doesn't think so, I'm with Faith and... and I love her."
"I know you d-do Buffy and I love Willow and that's why it's okay."
"But it's not, I shouldn't have..."
"B-Buffy it's okay because despite what just happened I don't... I don't think of you that w-way."
"I don't think about you that way either. I love Faith."
I stand up and close the gap between us.
"Then everything's o-okay, we'll just pretend it didn't happen."
She smiles weakly at me.
"Thank you Tara."
She hugs me again out of happiness, instead of desperation like before and I hug her back.
"Just give Faith some time, she'll come back to you I promise."
She pulls back and looks at me.
"I will thank you."
I smile at her and she turns and leaves.
Wow, things are really bad between them right now. I meant what I said though. Faith just needs time to deal before she comes back to Buffy. And she will go back to Buffy eventually. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. I have a hard enough time saying what I mean it wouldn't make sense for me to say what I didn't.
End of Chapter 82