The Ninth Annual Fannie Awards
"The 9th Annual Fannie Awards…" whitem said to himself for probably the third time as he stood off to the side of the stage. He had been here once before. Last year, to be exact, and he was no less nervous than he had been previously. In fact, he felt even more nervous, if that was… Possible.
He took a deep breath and looked over at his co-host Slipgate and smiled nervously. He then looked at his watch, and checked it with the backstage clock to see if they matched. There was only a difference of a minute, but that wasn't what had him worried.
Slipgate leaned over to check whitem's watch as well, who glanced back at him in surprise. Slipgate just pointed at his bare wrist and then his phone, which was again completely out of battery power. whitem sighed and drew out his wallet, pointing at it meaningfully and then pointing at Slipgate's pocket. Slipgate nodded and then shrugged.
Everything seemed to be running smoothly, or at least as expected, and it was about time for both of them to walk out on to the stage and start the show.
Both hosts checked themselves one last time in a nearby mirror, making sure their ties were straight, pleats were going the right direction, and the hair was looking good.
whitem was wearing a dark gray suit which had light colored pinstripes, and a dark maroon shirt underneath the jacket, but it was the tie that he just wasn't sure about, and he kept adjusting and moving it around.
"Stop fidgeting, whitem!" Slipgate hissed, "The tie looks fine!"
"It's not a matter of how it looks; it's a matter of whether I should have worn it all. It just… doesn't feel…" Finally he quickly undid the tie and whipped it off, narrowly missing his co-host.
"Hey! Watch it!"
"Sorry man, didn't mean that." He then unbuttoned the top two buttons in his shirt, and left his jacket hanging open. "There we go! I feel more comfortable, and I still look fine. Whatcha think?"
"Eh, I rarely button my suit jackets either."
whitem glanced at the open black suit jacket with the blue shirt and the yellow-gold-something tie. Along with the black pants it all looked pretty good, though it looked like Slipgate had gotten some stubble again. He nodded firmly that Slipgate had cleaned up well, but then pointed meaningfully at himself.
"You look fine, man."
The Kim Possible theme song could then be heard playing, and towards the end a stagehand appeared off to the side and he looked directly at the two, pointing at them. He held up a hand with the palm out, and he curled a finger back into his hand in one-second increments, counting down the timing for the two to walk onto the stage.
Just as the hosts reached the podium, the song finished with Kim saying "So what's the sitch?" And the last words of the song "Call me beep me if ya want to reach me!"
The audience began a raucous applause, which Slipgate and whitem joined in on, and after a moment it died down. whitem spoke first saying "Ohhh it's good to be back!"
An audience member shouted "Write something!"
whitem looked over in the general direction of where the voice came from. "I already did that. Talk to this guy over here if you want to talk about someone who hasn't written something in forever."
Slipgate gave him a fake dirty look but then went back to smiling. "It'll be a fine wine when it comes, you'll see."
whitem shot back, "You mean it'll be a one-shot, maybe 9,000 words at most."
"Quality over quantity?" Slipgate offered.
whitem's response was to give his co-host a sideways look.
"OK… anyway!" Slipgate urged.
whitem then paused and addressed the audience. "We're not saying… that this is the best show on Earth." New applause then started up again.
Slipgate then said, "We're not saying… that this is the best Kimmunity out there on the Internet." The ovation continued to climb in fervor.
Both hosts then chimed in together. "We're not saying… that Kim Possible was and is still the best show that's ever been on television! Or that anyone could beat her on her best day!" The audience by now was building to a crescendo.
Slipgate continued, "If anything, what we are saying here…"
And then whitem finished, "…Is welcome back! To the Kim Possible Fannie Awards Show!" By now the audience had reached their peak in both volume and exuberance.
After the audience died down a bit, Slipgate continued, "Now let's take a look at the winners of last year." What appeared to be a wall at the back of the stage lit up, revealing that in actuality it was a very large screen. The hosts backed away by splitting up and going to opposite sides of the stage while the podium and table moved down underneath the stage on hydraulic lifts.
The screen then started to list the winners of last year's Fannie Awards…
The 8th Annual Fannies Award Winners (2012)
Best Original Character Name – Dr. I Nomore (Broken Heart, Broken Mind by levi2000a1)
Best Original Character – Aunt Attie (Ronicus et Leo by Mr. Wizard)
Best Minor Character – Steve Barkin (The Hunter: Book One by Sentinal103)
Best Villain – Moriarty (Possible Manipulation by whitem)
Best Songfic – I Don't Care Anymore (by pbow)
Best AU Story – The Hunter: Book One (by Sentinal103)
Best Crossover/Fusion – The Red Hood (by DragoLord19D)
Best Alternate Pairing – Hego/Vivian Porter (Robots & Redemption by cwesthawk)
Best Kigo Story – Lost (by LJ58)
Best K/R Story – Between the Stars (by Mahler Avatar)
Best Comedy – A Very Possible Nativity (by Stormchaser90)
Best Romance – Broken Hearts, Broken Minds (by levi2000a1)
Best Friendship Story – When She Falls (by ZorpoxTheConqueror)
Best Action/Adventure – Between the Stars (by Mahler Avatar)
Best Drama – Storm Chaser (by BearSent176)
Best Unlikely Story – The Start of a Family (by Imyoshi)
Best One-Shot Overall – When She Falls (by ZorpoxTheConqueror)
Best Novel-sized Story – Between The Stars (by Mahler Avatar)
Best Short Story – I Still Need You (by temporaryinsanity91)
Best Series Overall – TIE - The Stars series (by Mahler Avatar) & Monkey's Tail series (by levi2000a1)
Best Young Author - Iapsa
Best New Author – levi2000a1
Best Reviewer – CajunBear73
Best Story Overall – Ronicus et Leo (by Mr. Wizard)
Best Writing Team – BearSent176 (CajunBear73/Sentinal103)
Best Single Line –"Does my super suit really make my butt look that big?" levi2000a1 (From Broken Heart, Broken Mind by levi2000a1, spoken by Kim)
Best Writer – Mahler Avatar
After the list finished and the screen returned back to looking like a brick wall, both hosts walked back on stage while the table of Fannies and the podium rose once again to their previous positions.
Slipgate approached the microphone and spoke. "Very quickly we would like to give a big kudos to ShadowDancer01. Since the Fannies have changed hands a few times, it helped that he documented all of the previous years' winners in one place for us."
"Totally," whitem agreed.
Slipgate continued, "We will now take a short break, so everyone can place an order on your mobile phone if you wish for food or drink, and it will be delivered to you wherever you are. The food available is included in the program that was handed out when you entered the building. Just dial 366-3669, or 'food now.'"
Everyone looked on with a bit of a surprised look. "Oh, sorry… we have employed the services of J.A.R.V.I.S. II, a smaller version of Tony Stark's famous computer system. It has greatly improved a few aspects of the Fannies this year, one of which is the ability to locate individuals to deliver food orders, and of course it has greatly increased safety for this year."
Neither host mentioned that another reason for this tracking system was to keep an eye on the Villains that were in attendance.
AC/DC's song "Back in Black" started to play at a low volume while a few in the audience called in an order, and the hosts seemed to curiously disappear from the stage.
To be continued…