Advice & Trust
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Chapter 12.3
Götterdämmerung
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The phone mount in Misato's center console trilled an oddly cheery note against the angry silence Misato had maintained since leaving the Geofront's 'main level'. The solitude of the train to the surface left her with plenty of time to think, but right now the interruption of a call was almost welcome.
Her finger stabbed at the 'ACCEPT' button. "Major Katsuragi."
"Major, this is Vice Commander Fuyutsuki. I have some special instructions for tomorrow's affairs."
She mildly perked up. Vice Commander Fuyutsuki calling was a lot better than Commander Ikari calling, even before what she knew now to be true about his overall plans. Fuyutsuki had at least a chance of being invested in the Pilots and their conditions. More than Commander Ikari, anyway. "Sir."
"The First Child is to report at 0600 to Doctor Akagi's lab for some new specialized synchronization testing. An augmented detail from Section 2 and the perimeter guard force. You are to supervise the rendezvous and ensure the First Child is safely passed to their care. The Second, Fourth, and Fifth Children are to report to the Pribnow Box in their plugsuits by 0800. A Section 2 detail with augmented guard forces will arrive at your apartment by 0715…"
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Down, down, down, brush, brush, brush. A high gloss being polished to an even sleeker sheen.
"This is definitely the way to plan strategy," Asuka groaned happily. She let her head loll a bit further back, allowing her boyfriend better access to her hair. She idly played with his toes, as his legs on the outside of hers as they sat on their bed left them in easy range to play with. "Keep going, cabana boy!"
Shinji rolled his eyes, but kept running the hairbrush through Asuka's glossy mane. "Yes, dear."
"Getting a head start our-" 'nope nope nope too scary' part of her mind objected. 'Abort! Abort!' "Er… the um, the automatic reflexes?" 'Still too close, but let's hope he doesn't follow up?'
Shinji's hands hesitated only a fraction of a second, but she noticed. "Not automatic, no. Felt like the right response, though. But back to strategy planning?"
A part of Asuka's heart sighed in relief from panic, but another part let out a small pang of disappointment at not hearing what he might have said. She let the first part brush it aside and refocused. "Planning, yes. We can't know how much longer we've got, but if Kaworu is getting shot at by SEELE, Commander Asshole has to have some plan of his own for taking out the neue Fisch, and soo-"
Asuka broke off and cocked her head. A wicked grin spread on her face. She looked back over her shoulder enough to wink at Shinji, and put her finger to her lips.
Then she gave out a very loud, pleasured moan.
Shinji's eyes widened. She loved it when he brushed her hair, but this was...
She did it again, louder. "Gott, I love this. I love you, Shinji! Unnnf! Harder! Longer strokes! Faster! Oh Gott, YES, do it to me!"
Misato whipped open the sliding door to the Pilots' bedroom and rolled her eyes. "Oh, for pity's sake, Asuka, knock it off," she snapped.
Asuka stuck her tongue out at the Major and then turned her face away from the door, letting Shinji resume brushing her hair into a glossy shine as she sat on their bed in front of him. "You didn't even knock! How shameful and un-Japanese! What if we'd been indecent?!"
"If you had actually been naked, Asuka, I'm 100% sure you would not have been giving the least-believable acting routine about 'middle-of-sex' since I was a college freshman in the dorms," Misato retorted. "I know you could hear me come in the front door, and that nonsense was you being a brat for fun."
"Which it was, thanks," Asuka grinned unrepentantly. "So what is so important it's got you busting into our room at this hour?" Asuka's face darkened. "It's something from Commander Asshole, isn't it? Only something 'official' would have you coming in without even knocking. Or yelling at us, if you thought we really were getting 'busy', I guess."
Misato grimaced. "Sadly, you're right. I got a call from Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki on the way home. He says all Pilots but Shinji are ordered to report for a special Synch Test at 0800 tomorrow. He's still on med-hold until Ritsuko passes him. Everyone else has to be up for pickup a 0715. Except for Rei, who they want in at 0600 for some reason. A combined Section 2 and Main Security group will pick her up at 0530."
"She'll love that," Asuka muttered.
"What is this 'special' test, Misato-san? And why Rei early? Can't she just... go with us like always?" Shinji asked quietly. He kept right on steadily brushing his girlfriend's hair. It was already perfectly smoothed and shining, but she was visibly enjoying the tactile sensation and the intimate attention.
"He didn't say, and I haven't gotten a response from Rits about it so far. But he was very clear it was an order from the Commander, and specific. Something's up, I'm sure."
Asuka shifted slightly, subtly signaling for Shinji to stop brushing so she could turn. The two Pilots looked at each other silently for a moment. They broke the shared gaze and looked at Misato. "We were just kind of talking about that, actually," Asuka began. "Rei said she had to report about Kaworu to Commander Fuckface a while ago, since they probably suspected what he was anyhow, and it would be way too suspicious if Rei didn't confirm it. So they know what he is, where he is, and that he's the ah... last one. So why is he still alive?"
"It's not like they haven't tried, Asuka," Misato pointed out. "Or..." she grimaced again. "Like he didn't nearly get me to do it anyhow."
"Yeah, but that was... not NERV. Why hasn't the Commander just... ordered one of us to smash him or something? There's got to be a reason."
"And we're having a hard time thinking of any that aren't just worse than where we are now," Shinji added. "Waiting for the Sword of Damocles to drop is bad, but... why is my father waiting? If SEELE is already trying to..." his face clouded, "kill my friend to set him off and end the world, why isn't my father? I don't think it's because he's had a sudden outburst of decency. Not him."
Misato shook her head. "I can't think of a good one either, Shinji. We'll just have to be careful tomorrow and keep our eyes open. Kaji is trying to do some stuff on his end with his bosses, but he's not come back with any good news yet."
"Kaworu's coming with us, right?" Shinji asked. "My father's not having him moved or anything?"
"Yes."
"We'll keep him safe, then," Asuka nodded firmly.
"Isn't he the half-Angel, superpowers, bulletproof AT-Field?"
"Not so bulletproof lately, but yes. It's the principle of the thing, Misato." Asuka frowned for a moment. "Can't say I'm too thrilled about leaving my beloved baka here alone, though. Can't he come down with us anyway?"
Misato shook her head again. "I doubt it, from how the Sub-Commander sounded. I'll check in the morning, but at the moment he's still supposed to be on bed rest. We shouldn't be at NERV HQ all day. We'll have you back here to pamper your luvvvvv in plenty of time for dinner." She shot a wry look at Shinji. "Which I think we'll have to tie him to his bed to keep him from making for us anyway."
Asuka's frown did not ease. "I still don't want to leave him by himself, for exactly that kind of reason, Misato. He'll start… compulsively cleaning or cooking, I know it."
"I will not," Shinji snorted.
"Bet you will," she retorted.
"Won't."
"Will."
"Wo-"
"Ai yai yai, enough, both of you," Misato interrupted.
Shinji poked Asuka in the flank with the hairbrush. "I won't, because I won't be alone, Asuka. Kensuke texted me while you were in the bathroom and said he'd come by tomorrow with his girlfriends. I think he and they just kind of want to see I'm alive and mostly well after... er, everything."
Asuka's expression relaxed some. "I suppose Geek Stooge and his two better halves is better than nothing."
"He'll have the guards and Section 2 detail just outside if he needs serious help," Misato pointed out. At Asuka's renewed frown, she went on, "And I know how much faith you have in them right now, but it does mean your friends would have help at hand."
"Fiiiiiiine," Asuka grumbled. "Geek Stooge better not be weird and ask to see his bullet wounds or something, though."
Misato rolled her eyes again. "I'm going to pop downstairs and brief Rei and Kaworu. I take it you two are about to go to sleep?"
"Wellllll, to bed, but-" At Misato's glower, Asuka dropped her teasing, salacious tone. "Oh, give me some credit, Misato. I'm not going to strain his lungs or heart right now. I am going to wrap myself around every inch of him I can and hold him all night, since I was going crazy with worry when he was in the hospital. There will probably be a mushy amount of kissing and such, but I am going to make sure he gets plenty of rest."
"See that you do," Misato said sternly. Then she sighed. "Is this what parenting feels like?"
Asuka snorted. "You're doing better than my parents, at least."
"Or mine," Shinji added. "Way better. Ugh, can you imagine what it would be like if I had been living alone the last year? Or worse, with my father? I am so glad you took me in, Misato. Best ersatz mom."
"I'm sure the fact you two are about to go to bed together is a factor in there somewhere," Misato added drily.
"That too," the two teens said in stereo.
"I've created monsters. Go to sleep, you two."
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Rei's eyes popped open at 0530 on the dot. After less than a second, she smiled. She could feel him.
Like a warm morning caress on the soul, she had to suppress an urge to curl like a cat as she felt his AT-Field lovingly brush against hers. She opened her eyes a slit and looked up through four floors of concrete and metal. He was looking back at her.
She reached for her phone.
WERE YOU SITTING THERE JUST WAITING FOR ME TO AWAKEN? MAYBE. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL IN REST. IT WAS QUITE PEACEFUL TO WATCH. YOUR FRACTURED SPLENDOR IS… IS... STUPID FISH.
I AM BAD AT SIMILES.
With a sigh, she put the phone down and gave him a spiritual bop on the head as she got up. She hoped whatever tests Doctor Akagi had planned were not too lengthy. She was looking forward to dinner with her loves tonight.
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Chapter 12.4
Götterdämmerung
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"This is stupid. I hate this."
"You're going to have to be a lot more specific, Asuka my love."
"Ok, number one, good on you for answering that way. Two, I love that you did. Three, I'm talking about how you're having to stay here." Shinji began to open his mouth, but before he could say a word, she waved her hand. "I know, I know it's for perfectly logical medical reasons. Doctor Dye-Job's orders, blah blah blah. I know, and I still hate it. We're going to be sitting in Test Plugs, for Gott's sake. Not full-on combat. And a long bath in LCL should help, if anything!"
When she stopped, almost panting from her rant, Shinji weakly chuckled. "Well, that is more specific." He sighed. "I still feel pretty weak, Asuka. A day of bed rest will be good for me, and I'll be right back next to you. And-"
"You are going to stay on that bed rest, right? No getting up to clean or cook dinner? We're doing takeout tonight! You rest!" Asuka interrupted. "I know what you're probably planning."
Shinji did look slightly guilty. "I was only going to have Kensuke and his girlfriends help me out. I'd only be directing things."
She shook her head, imperiously crossing her arms. "Nope. You sleep or park on the couch and watch Childrens' Crusade discs or something. No exerting yourself. I'll do this stupid test and have all of us back here as soon as we can. Now go rest. I want you healed and back with me soon."
Shinji sighed again, but smiled. "Fine, fine, I promise no house cleaning or heavy kitchen work. Now go." He pulled her close and gave her one more kiss before stepping back inside over the threshold to the apartment. "Have a good day at work, honey!" he said in a joking tone.
Asuka's eyes bugged out and her jaw dropped. Shinji matched her a second later as what he'd said caught up to the rest of his brain.
"I… I mean…" he stammered weakly, "I… shouldn't have said that."
Asuka shook herself and shook her head like she was trying to throw off a dark thought. "No, you're… you're fine, Shinji. We just… we need to talk about the Evangelion in the room we've both been avoiding, since, well… you know I've had thoughts in that area too. So… just… don't panic, and we'll make ourselves face that conversation tonight, okay? When we can just be alone in our room?"
"Y… yeah."
Asuka hugged him once more and quietly murmured an 'I love you' into his neck before turning and walking away very fast, not looking back.
Misato was waiting for her at the door to the elevator, her eyebrow raised. "Did I just-"
"I don't want to talk about it right now, Misato. Wait until we're in the car," Asuka muttered, staring firmly at the door to the elevator.
Misato let the silence hang until they were underway in her Renault. Kaworu, sensing the tension, had needed only a single nod from Misato to get into one of the Section 2 sedans escorting them and let them have what privacy they could.
"Asuka?" she prodded.
A grunt.
"Asuka, we're going to be in the Geofront for hours. The time we've got in my car is our last chance to speak freely until this evening. So whatever happened back there that's got you both looking so freaked out, now is the time to get it off your chest, or it's going to be eating at you the entire synch test. And that's before we even get into what our next move versus SEELE and Commander Ikari's plans will be. Talk. What just happened there?"
"He scared me."
Misato was startled enough to take her eyes off the road for a second and stare at Asuka. "What? I… Asuka, Shinji practically worships you. How the hell did he scare you?"
At Misato's rather insistently pointed silence, Asuka sighed again and said, "Misato, for most of my life I've been painfully convinced no one wanted me. My mother was gone, my father schtupping someone else before her body was cold, everyone just interested in me because I was the Second Child… And then I meet Shinji. And I'm so terrified of letting anyone close, I act like a huge bitch to him because I'm screamingly insecure and have no idea how to handle being that attracted to someone. A peer! Someone who didn't care about either of us being Eva Pilots, just… someone who loves me."
She rubbed her face with both hands, covering it like a mask. "And now I don't know anymore what frightens me more; the nightmares about losing him in a fight and going back to being alone… or the idea that he might really love me so much he'd give his life to me. You want to know how he scared me, Misato? Right before we left he said 'Have a good day at work, honey!' Like it was a regular routine, like we were…"
"Ah," Misato said gently. "I see."
Asuka kept staring at her lap. "I'm so fucked up."
"Asuka, I kind of get it, you know. Or did you miss it when I lied to the man I was falling in love with and ran away like a coward for eight years? Hell, the only reason he and I are," she ducked her head slightly, "er, together now is… well, watching you two. I mean, even before he… asked me."
Asuka finally raised her head. "You love him, right?"
This forced Misato to blink. "Um, yes? Why else would I have er… proposed, accidentally?"
"But you loved him back then too, right? Why did you run away then?"
Misato's lips flattened into a line. "Because I was scared and stupid. Right. Well, like I told you before, don't be stupid like I was. You're not stupid."
"I'm not so sure about that some days," the redhead muttered.
"Are you going to lie to him tonight, tell him there's someone else, and run away?" At Asuka's dirty look, Misato shrugged. "Then you're still doing better than I did."
"We've talked around it, kind of," Asuka said quietly. "Made stupid lovey-dovey promises like 'together, forever and always' and 'until the end of the world, you and me.' But it's not the same as confronting it when it's so… so real like that. The idea of living it. But we've thought about it. I just hate this sensation of being afraid of something I want so much."
She picked at her student uniform's skirt. "I feel sick."
"You're a certified genius, top flight Pilot, and you've got the best boyfriend a girl could ask for, Asuka," Misato assured her. "You'll be alright. Want me to give you two the apartment to yourselves for a bit tonight? I can have Kaji take me out or something."
Asuka wobbled her head through some combination of a shrug and a nod. "I guess. It won't be the end of the world if you're there. You and Rei will probably be the first two people to know, whatever we come up with in the end."
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Asuka frowned as she closed her locker and stared at the empty space where Rei should have been standing. The locker room felt surprisingly empty without her friend silently getting changed behind her.
'Plus, Rei is kind of nice to watch move,' she thought. She snorted. "Never thought I'd let that cross my mind."
The door to the locker room beeped and slid open, breaking her reverie. A tired looking Fourth Child perked up on sighting her friend. "Asuka!"
Asuka smiled back. "Hey, Hikari. Good to see you. I take the fact you're here means your favorite jock finally woke up?"
The brunette nodded, popping open her own locker and getting out the fresh plastic-wrapped plugsuit. "Yes! I'm a little stiff from sleeping in a chair by his bed, but it was so worth it to be there when he woke up!" She began stripping off her rather wrinkled uniform and carefully hanging it in the locker.
It wasn't nearly as interesting to watch for Asuka. "How is he?"
"Weak. He said his head still hurt a lot, but he remembers everything that happened." She sighed, sounding relieved. "I'm so glad Doctor Akagi could heal him like that. I was afraid he'd be unconscious for weeks! Months, maybe!"
Asuka frowned again at the mention of her least favorite NERV scientist. "And what about you? My toe still aches, and Shinji's still recovering. You feeling up to this? I'm kind of surprised they dragged you in, really. I'd have thought you'd be getting another day or two like Shinji."
Hikari shrugged, shaking her head as she pulled the rubbery plugsuit up over her hips and worked her arms into the floppy sleeves. "I wouldn't have minded being able to stay with Touji, or even just go home and see my dad and sisters, but Doctor Akagi and the Section 2 guards were very clear that I had to be here. Is it because I'm the, ah…" She almost managed to avoid a small flicker of a glance at the ceiling surveillance camera in the corner of the room. "The best Pilot for Unit-03? I mean, Nagisa-kun is still here too, right? So who goes first?"
"That's a very good question," Asuka agreed. She narrowed her eyes. "And what about Rei? They've got her down in Doctor Bi- ah… the Doctor's lab for something right now, but she doesn't even have an Eva anymore. Are they going to try sticking her back in Unit-01 until my Shinji is fit for duty?"
Hikari sealed her suit up and pressed the wrist button. The plugsuit hissed as it snapped from loose and floppy to skintight. "I hope Major Katsuragi can tell us. I kind of like being able to, er, sit in my Eva, you know?"
Asuka nodded, understanding Hikari's real reason. "Let's go get some answers out of her. And I hope Rei can join us once she's done with whatever mad science is going on down there."
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Shinji cradled his head in his hands, trying to blink away another wave of fatigue and mental fuzziness. "I'm sorry, Miki-san. Could you say that again?"
"Not saying we'd want it soon, but if we asked nice, you could do a special-occasion piece of music again like you did for Soryu-san's birthday, right?" Sayaka asked again, as sweetly as she could.
Kensuke had shown up on the apartment's doorstep right on time, the unusual punctuality possibly helped by the accompanying presence of Sayaka and Kyoko. The dyed-bluenette at least was pretty good at being on time, and dragged her paramours with her. Their arrival had been a welcome distraction from the funk Asuka's abrupt departure had left him in. He shouldn't have made that joke...
Shinji had been forced to take his time getting to the door to let them in. At least he wasn't dragging the IV bag and stand along anymore. He'd run out of the supply of LCL-alike liquid Doctor Akagi had given them earlier. He still felt very drained and weak, and it was hard to focus. So he'd missed the question, and the chain of thought that led up to it. "A spec-... wait, you mean a new composition? An original piece?"
"Yeah! The one you did for her was beautiful!" Kyoko bounced at her spot next to the living room's low table. "I know it's probably a lot of work, but it would be really cool if we had one for us too!"
Shinji rubbed his forehead and took another deep drink of the orange Juice Asuka had gotten out as an amusing match to the medicine. "'One for you too'?" he echoed. "A song? For what, a birthday?"
Kyoko grabbed Sayaka's hand and grinned wildly at her girlfriend's look of curiosity in response. "I wanna tell him about Plan Crazy! Can we?"
Sayaka looked nervous. Kensuke paled. "Er, is… is that a good idea, Kyoko? I mean…" He looked at Shinji for a second. "We barely start- um… that's the kind of thing I thought we wanted to keep really quiet for a long while, I thought."
"I want to yell about you two to the whole world, like Asuka got to," the dyed-redhead said eagerly. "I know why we can't and it's a bad idea, so I don't. But can't we tell at least people who already know about us? We know Rei knows how to keep secrets, right?"
'You have no idea, Sakura-san,' Shinji thought wryly.
Kensuke dropped his head and shook it slowly. "Rei would love it, yes. She loves this kind of romantic stuff, for some reason."
Shinji felt his eyes nearly cross as he tried to combine 'Rei Ayanami' and 'romance fan' in his head. "She...does?"
Sayaka and Kyoko nodded in unison. "She used to talk about you and Asuka a lot, for one thing. And she seems to like watching couples at lunch," Sayaka told him. She looked down at where Kyoko still held her hand and considered. "I kind of get what she's saying. I want to tell everyone about the ones I love, but…" she sighed and looked at Kensuke. "What do you say, lover? You're probably a good bit more paranoid and security-conscious than little miss 'poor impulse control' here."
"Fuck you, bitch."
"Later." Sayaka cocked her head. "To be fair, I'm in favor of telling him, too."
"Oh come on!" Kyoko complained, and tried to pull Sayaka's hand to her mouth and bite her.
Kensuke looked back and forth between his playfully struggling ladies, and eventually sighed. "Yeah, go ahead. Shinji won't tell anyone but Asuka, I think."
Kyoko left off trying to sink her teeth into Sayaka's hand and grinned at Shinji, fang winking. "I'm keepin' 'em! Both! Mine mine mine! Ahahahahah!"
Shinji blinked and looked at Sayaka for a translation.
The dyed-bluenette blushed and looked aside. "Ahh… yesterday we more or less asked Kensuke to… stay with us. Together. For the long run."
Shinji stared at her.
Kensuke looked away and rubbed the back of his head with his right hand. "Um. It was kind of a proposal. I mean… yes and no, that kind. More like a… uh… promise that we'd stay together until we were old enough to get away with it, if we wanted to. No matter what our dads thought." At Shinji's disbelieving stare he blurted, "Don't look at me like that!"
Shinji vaguely shook his head. "But… that's crazy."
"Hence the name!" Kyoko exclaimed cheerily. "I am a genius at names!" She abandoned trying to bite Sayaka's fingers and resorted to simply pulling her girlfriend off-balance and on top of her. "Come here, you! I'mma control your impulse!" In practice, this involved kissing Sayaka furiously. She did not seem to object.
Shinji's disbelieving stare shifted back to Kensuke. "You're serious? Kensuke, we're fifteen. I think I'm the oldest one in our group, and I'm still a couple months short of sixteen. Proposals? That's…"
Kyoko pried her lips off Sayaka's for one second. "Crazy!" she cried happily. She went back to her task that was no chore at all.
Kensuke flushed slightly and flushed himself. "Come on, Shinji, you can't blame me. I mean, look at you two. How long after you two got together did you start having thoughts like that about the Red Demon, huh? Everyone can see how you two are, you have to be."
Asuka's face at the door this morning flashed across his mind and Shinji felt the same cold jolt run down his spine. "I… it's complicated, Kensuke. I… we… I want to be with her until the end of the world, but it's hard for us to…" He hesitated. "It scares us, to make it so… real like that. We've both kind of, um, talked around it but…" He trailed off and shrugged helplessly.
Kensuke opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to process his friend's uncomfortable revelation. "I uh… sorry, man. I'd totally have thought it would be easy for you two. You're like, really obviously in love with each other, so… sorry."
"Nothing's ever easy for us, Kensuke. Not even the good stuff," Shinji said with a sad, weak smile. "I've thought about it, but neither of us is… there yet." 'Yet.' A vision of an older Asuka coming in the door flickered across his mind. She was dressed for some office job, smiling as he came out of the kitchen to greet her, just another day together. Everything felt so warm, so whole… It made him ache, to almost feel it as a possibility.
Sayaka and Kyoko had stopped trying to suck each other's tonsils out and sat up, eyeing the Eva Pilot with concern. "That's sad to hear, Ikari-san. You all already have to deal with enough crazy stuff. Feels like you'd deserve something like this to be easier," Kyoko said carefully.
Sayaka perked up. "You know what can break up the awkward? A distraction!" She looked to Kensuke. "Tell him about the thing!"
"Thing?" her boyfriend repeated blankly. He snapped his fingers and turned back to Shinji. "Oh! Right! When I went to Sayaka's place yesterday, her dad wasn't home. She said he'd gotten called away on a 'sudden unscheduled drill', which is the exact same thing they said before the first Angel attacked here. And he didn't take some specific military gear he would if it was really a drill. I think something's up, and wanted to pass it to Major Katsuragi. I didn't want to try calling last night, so I figured I'd tell you today."
The distraction did oddly make Shinji feel a bit better. It at least got his mind off the awful memory of Asuka's face flashing shock and fear, or thinking about how much the mere idea of hurting her made his heart clench. And what Kensuke was telling him did seem suspicious. He nodded. "I'll send her a message. She and Kaji-san might know already, but better to tell her anyway," he said, pulling out his phone.
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Chapter 12.5
Götterdämmerung
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The faint, rhythmic sound of pumps circulating the LCL through the scanning tube and the now empty clone tank behind her filled the chilly chamber of Ritsuko's Terminal Dogma lab with a pseudo-organic sound disturbingly like the breathing of a large, inhuman beast. It was usually-ignored background noise to Rei, but at times like this she found it comforting, a white noise that had been the soundtrack to much of her past. It helped her think, in the quiet hours she floated in the tube. To be quite fair, she hadn't precisely done a lot of thinking in past years. More just drifted and let her mind be blank as Doctor Akagi's scanners and instruments monitored her. But of late she'd had more things occupying her mind.
'That stupid fish. His stupid smile. His stupid eyes. So different from Shinji's or Asuka's. But they distract and occupy me just as much. And I want to explore. At length. For much time.' 'Time…'
Ritsuko blinked distractedly, visibly pulling her thought process out of the AT-Field harmonics readouts she'd been intently staring at on the screen. "What?"
"You were invested, somewhat willingly, in Commander Ikari's intent to end humanity. In his belief that it was the best choice for the world in the face of SEELE's own plan. But now you appear to have hope in the future. I believe a good deal of this feeling is thanks to having someone who loves you. I wish to discuss this, as I believe I now hold…," Rei fidgeted, "similar feelings."
Ritsuko looked away. "It's… complicated. Part of it is a retroactive realization that I knew at least somewhat that he would never love me back, not the way I wanted. It was a willful delusion because that was less painful than the idea of being alone or unwanted. Now that my fears in that area are, mmm… more than removed? Yes, the future feels different. If we have one." She sighed. "This is not a conversation I ever expected to have."
Despite her more serious concerns, Rei could not restrain a tiny, Asuka-like voice whispering an idea in the back of her head. Nor could she contain the miniscule, impish smile that grew on her lips. "I think you'd still prefer this conversation to the other question I wanted to ask. This is, at least, less awkward."
Sensing a trap, but still curious, Ritsuko bit. "And what question would that be?"
"'What is sex like?' and variations on that theme."
Ritsuko stared blankly at her for a moment. "I'm sorry, Rei, I think my brain just hiccupped. And.. yes, let's go back to the first o-"
The phone on the control console rang. Ritsuko eyed it with something like relief, then picked it up. "Sir." There were very few people who might call this line, and half of them were here already.
"Doctor Akagi, come to my office immediately. There is serious news," Commander Ikari's baritone rumbled in the receiver.
Ritsuko's eyes darted to the LCL-filled cylinder in the middle of the lab. "Sir, the First Child is-"
"I am aware. Put whatever processes you can under MAGI monitoring and control, and come here. Place the First Child in automatic suspension. She will not be needed for this. This is urgent, Doctor."
'Once upon a time, I'd have thought nothing whatsoever about putting Rei "on pause" like she was a bad movie I wasn't really paying attention to. Now it feels wrong.' She silently shook her head. "Understood, sir. I am on my way."
The sound of the line disconnecting as he hung up was her only answer. She rolled her eyes at yet another display of the Commander's sterling manners and hung up the receiver. She straightened up and looked at the LCL tank. "Rei, the Commander wants me up in his office right away. He didn't say why, just that it was urgent. He also told me to put you to sleep while I was gone, but I think I should leave that up to you. Do you want a nap, or do you not mind being bored for an unknown amount of time? He didn't say how long this might take."
The First Child shook her head lightly. "I am sufficiently well rested, Doctor Akagi. I will enjoy having solitude to think, as well. I do not mind the time."
"Alright. I'll leave the systems running on high-definition collect, so we'll at least get some good data from this. Your AT-Field is still looking… quite peculiar. You've recovered from most of the damage Arael did, though."
Rei gave her a very faint smile and a nod. "That is good. Please return as soon as you can and inform me of what the Commander finds so urgent."
"I'll message Maya to come get you out if it looks like it will go long." Ritsuko tapped a few commands into the controls in front of her, then picked up her remote MAGI terminal as she headed for the lab door.
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Misato folded her arms across her chest again, shifting back to the posture she'd irritably changed out of just a minute before. The reason she'd changed her stance was immediately brought back to mind as the movement once again pressed the pistol in her shoulder holster against her armpit. The metal digging into her undershirt pointedly reminded her she was armed.
And that the second round in that magazine now had a particular, ruby-red tip.
Despite herself, her eyes once again darted to the Fifth Child, standing in front of her, his face almost pressed to the glass of the test chamber. He was staring calmly at Unit-03, a faint smile on his face. He hadn't paid her much attention after polite greetings after he'd arrived, but Misato was still unable to keep herself from constantly checking his presence.
'How can I not, now that I know what he really is?'
Asuka had merely given her a grim nod when she'd seen Misato staring at her pistol, then carefully putting the anti-AT-Field round into the ejected magazine. At the same time, the Second Child had made her own gesture by taking her own red-tipped bullet and pointedly putting it in the back of her desk drawer in her room.
The fact Kaworu really did have good reason to be immediately on hand to watch while Hikari did her Synch Test in their shared Evangelion was driving her up the wall with hyper-alertness. That Misato likewise had no reason to tell him to go somewhere else on the mere grounds he was making her paranoid only made it worse. She tried to tell herself to calm down with the argument that she'd only be even more paranoid if she couldn't keep an eye on him did little to help.
'God, I wish I could get completely hammered tonight. I'd like to not be giving myself an ulcer from sheer worry every time I try to sleep. And I hate hate hate that I can't get Kaji to sleep over every night without it being a bit too obvious,' she mentally grumbled. 'Then again, Commander Ikari already knows we're together, so why not? Fuck it, I'm telling my,' a small mental gulp, 'my fiancé he's sleeping over again tonight.'
Her eyes finally stopped hopping between the Fifth Child and the monitors tracking the test when her phone beeped in her pocket. She dug it out of her jacket's pocket, almost grateful for the momentary distraction. A text message from Shinji? Unusual. Her brow furrowed as she read.
Her eyes narrowed further when she got to the 'unannounced exercise'. The same excuse they'd used before Sachiel. But this time without informing NERV. And if it had already been underway for a couple days… She chewed her lip. She had to tell Kaji about this, right away.
She quickly forwarded the message to her fiancé. He'd be able to confirm if her fears were accurate. She'd barely taken her finger off SEND when the phone rang from an incoming call. She suppressed a blink of shock that he'd called her back so quickly, but the caller ID was less welcome:
CDR IKARI
"Sir?"
"Major Katsuragi, come to my office immediately. There are urgent developments we need to discuss."
"I'm leaving the Pilots at a test, sir. Priority?"
"Correct, Major. This supersedes all other immediate activities. Doctor Akagi is already on her way. Come." Click.
She put her phone away with a frown. Now what? Or had Commander Ikari gotten the same news she just had through his own channels? She pursed her lips as she looked at Lieutenant Ibuki. "Lieutenant, I need to see the Commander right away. Keep running the test and call me immediately if there are any anomalies."
"Yes, ma'am."
Misato raised her voice a bit. "Asuka, I've got to go see the Commander. Lieutenant Ibuki will keep things under control here. You good?"
"Misato, this is the stupidest test we've done in weeks. I'm bored!"
"That's a 'I'm good', then. Got it. I'll be back as soon as I can."
"Bored! Bored bored bored!"
"Suck it up, Pilot. Later." She shot a look at the Fifth Child. "Nagisa-kun, you behave too."
Kaworu smiled calmly and said, "Of course, Major. What trouble would I get into in here?"
She rolled her eyes, but was out the door of the test observation chamber a moment later.
Kaworu returned to watching the constantly-shifting displays of the Second and Fourth Children's synch rates. He'd have to make sure he was below their levels. This would not be too difficult; the Second's rates were flirting with 80%, and the Fourth was slowly climbing towards 70%. He hoped they were enjoying their time communicating with their mothers. He spent a moment wondering what that would be like, to have a mother. It must be nice. He'd have to ask Rei if she recalled her mother back on their original world. His own memories of that age were still absent.
One of the techs tapped him on the shoulder. "Ah… Pilot Nagisa? You have a phone call." He was holding up the line from the console.
He raised his eyebrows in surprise. Who would be calling him? Ah. He did his best to keep his face clear as he took the proffered receiver from the instrument desk next to him. "This is Nagisa."
"Fifth Child. This is Ayanami. I need you to meet me on sublevel 30B in 15 minutes. It is important," Rei's cool, distinct voice said quietly. "You must proceed immediately. Speak to no one. Do not tell them where you are going."
His eyebrows rose even higher, despite the happy thrill that ran up his back on hearing her voice. Sublevel 30B was deep within the Geofront, and most importantly was the location of one of the access points to the elevators and shafts leading down to Terminal Dogma. Did Rei intend to lead him down to Lilith's chamber right now? Risky, but it might be a good time to make their approach. "I see. Of course. I am on my way."
There was no reply, only the click of her hanging up. Of course, she wouldn't say anything else, not here in the heart of NERV, where every line was monitored. No way of knowing who was standing near her, too. She was down in Doctor Akagi's lab, wasn't she? Still, good for her to be cautious.
"Lieutenant Ibuki? I have to go. I have been summoned."
Maya glanced up, distractedly nodding at him. "That's fine, Pilot Nagisa. We don't have anything for you here."
He smiled and made his way to the door, his plugsuit's padded soles making hardly any noise on the metal floors. He contained his smile until the observation room door had closed behind him. He was going to see Rei soon. That always made his day better.
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Chapter 12.6
Götterdämmerung
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Misato's expression clouded a bit as she exited the elevator on the Commander's floor of the NERV pyramid. Doctor Akagi was coming out of the one next to hers. She was still not very pleased with what she now knew her old roommate had been up to for the last five years.
"Doctor Akagi," she growled. Then she blinked as a thought struck her. "Is Rei going to be alright alone down in your lair right now?"
Ritsuko fell into step with her as they headed down the hall to Commander Ikari's office. She shrugged. "The master calls, we come. Whatever it is, it's urgent enough he called me to come up from the lab right the heck now. I assume you got the same call?"
Misato nodded. She opened her mouth to respond, but the bing of the next elevator arriving behind them interrupted her. A glance over her shoulder at who else might be arriving with them at this appointment revealed her fiancé. She couldn't stop the smile that sprang to her face. It took a moment of internal wrestling to convert her happy squeal into a more professional greeting. "Kaji. Good to see you. You too?"
He gave her one of his trademark sloppy grins and nodded. "And I've got more not-so-great news to share about our friends at the Ministry of Defense, too. I wonder if it's related to whatever has Commander Ikari calling us all here so suddenly."
Misato frowned lightly. "Same. Let's find out, then."
Kaji gave a brief chuckle. "Just like college, the three of us making a big entrance at the best parties."
"Oh, shush."
The doors to Commander Ikari's office swung open silently as they approached, revealing the Commander at his desk, at the far end of his strangely enormous office. The Commander just stared at them as they came to a stop well back from his desk, the lenses of his glasses a blank, obscuring glow over his folded hands.
"Tensions with parties hostile to NERV in the Human Instrumentality Committee have come to a head," he began without preamble. "We should expect direct action from them very soon, likely through the Japanese government at their direction. Military action is a high possibility."
Misato's jaw tightened. Shinji's text message about his friend's discovery was even more disquieting now. She darted a quick glance at Kaji, then spoke up. "Sir, I may have something to corroborate that."
Commander Ikari's glowing lenses stared at her. "Proceed."
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Rei was so deep in pleasant memories of kissing and holding her loves and anticipation of resuming such at next opportunity it took her a while before she noticed the change to her immediate surroundings. The LCL of the cylinder kept flowing by as before, but had picked up a tiny new hum. The flow did buffer her senses a little, but she should not have been so distracted to miss someone entering the lab. But the hum of a new soul was just outside the tube, bumping against her AT-Field.
She slowly opened her eyes to behold Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki bent over the console where Doctor Akagi had been before, peering at the displays. His hands were on the keyboard, occasionally tapping out a command.
He eventually sighed and stood up. His eyes widened in surprise when they met Rei's. "Ayanami-san. I did not expect you to be awake. Doctor Akagi was given instructions."
Rei's first impulse to ask why he was making one of his infrequent visits down here died before reaching her lips. The Vice-Commander had spent little time down this far in the Geofront once the Evas had been built, preferring to do what scientific work he still found time for at labs within the Headquarters pyramid itself. But his face was oddly blank this time. No, not blank. It still had the usual faint look of worried concern it often did when he looked at the First Child, but this time there was something else as well. Resignation?
"This would probably be easier if you were asleep. Though I suppose this gives me opportunity for one last, futile apology. I'm sorry it had to be like this, Ayanami-san. All of this," he said sadly. He looked down at the displays on the console again. He sighed again. "We truly live in a fallen world, that this is the better way."
"I do not understand, Vice-Commander," Rei said, in as close to her old monotone as possible. Her head felt fuzzy.
"You know I was never happy with Ikari's plan, or what it demanded of you. But it is still preferable to what SEELE would inflict on us all. There is no other path for us. Humanity's time has run out," the old man said sadly, shaking his head. His eyes rose briefly from the console to meet Rei's.
"I…" Rei tried to focus her thoughts. It was difficult. "I do not think humanity is so doomed. We… we must protect what it… holds." Her eyes were heavy. So tired. Why…
"We know, Ayanami-san. We know. That disagreement is why I am here. SEELE is going to move soon, and we cannot let them move faster than us. And if you are unable to fulfill your role in this, then that burden can fall to another. A sad facet of how we've treated you." He walked over to the cylinder and placed his hand on the glass. "I am truly sorry it had to be this way. I think this will be the last time we speak in this world. Goodbye, Ayanami-san."
Rei's eyes closed and darkness swirled up to meet her.
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Gendo's pose did not shift as Misato finished her debrief. His glasses made glowing shapes in the air as he simply sat, apparently digesting her information.
"That confirms some of what we already suspected, but changes little overall," he eventually said. His voice betrayed no surprise or shock. "We are already committed to our course, and the fuse already lit. Humanity's time has run out, and this is the best road left to us."
The hairs on Misato's neck stood up. This didn't sound like someone who thought they were going to win. "Sir, whatever force the JSSDF might deploy against Tokyo-3 and the Geofront, I'm confident the defenses can hold them off for a good while, especially with the Evas to buttress them. We just have to hold long enough to get the UN to get them to halt-"
"You know perfectly well the UN will not be intervening here," Gendo interrupted. "The Human Instrumentality Committee is ordering this. They want this to happen."
Misato frowned. "Why? We're a UN Special Agency. What reason do they have to do this?"
"You know why, Major. The time for such pretenses is over. We have a task to accomplish. One that is inevitable. There is little time left. The end is near, and we have all the key pieces. They will have to come here and take them from us, to fulfill their own plan for the end. And no matter what you may think you know, you do not want them to succeed."
"What I think I know, sir?" Misato said stiffly, fighting a wave of unease.
The phone in the drawer in the Commander's desk rang. Without taking his eyes off Misato, he reached down to the drawer and picked up the receiver. He raised it to his ear without speaking. After a moment he grunted and said "Good. Return here," and hung up.
"What you think you know, Major," Commander Ikari resumed. "There is only one more Angel to eliminate. With the JSSDF on the way, we will have to accelerate our own actions, but not excessively. The first moves are already underway. There is no more time for pointless rebellions against inevitability. We will kill the last Angel, and end this without the Committee's interference."
"Sir, if the JSSDF are about to march here, how are we supposed to take out an Angel that can appear when and where they please?" Misato objected. "We should be getting the Ministry of Defense to halt them, not hoping the next Angel will appear on our schedule."
Commander Ikari still did not move a hair. "The last Angel is down below us, and we all know it, Major. I told you, we have no more time for pretenses. The last Angel is in our grasp, and we have already begun."
Misato darted a single quick look at Kaji. There was indeed an Angel deep below them, but Misato was almost certain the Commander was not referring to Lilith. "Should we recall the Third Child, sir? The Second, Fourth, and Fifth are ready."
"The First Child will suffice to deal with the Fifth, Major. I have summoned you here to see what you will do," the Commander replied evenly.
Misato stiffened, and felt Kaji and Ritsuko do the same next to her. "The Fifth. The Fifth Child is the 17th Angel?" she croaked.
Commander Ikari's stare was flat and hard. "I doubt this is a surprise to you, Major. I told you the time for pretense is over. Yes, he is. And the First Child will eliminate him. The way will then be open for us to finish this on our own terms, not those of the Committee."
Misato's left hand balled into a fist at her side. Fine. "Your terms, Commander. I doubt anyone else at NERV or anywhere in the world is that eager to join in your plan. And if the Com-... if SEELE wants him dead, we should keep him alive. As a hostage, if nothing else. That will buy us time."
Commander Ikari did not appear to react to Misato's dropping of the true name of their superiors. "I would have thought you'd be on board with killing the last Angel more than anyone, Major," he said calmly.
"We don't shoot prisoners, sir. And he surrendered last night. Right after I tried to shoot him for being an Angel. The First Child negotiated his surrender. War is done, Commander. Now we stop SEELE from destroying everything else."
"He needs to die, Major. He is an Angel. He cannot resist what he is. And the First Child will do as I order. Once the Angel is dead, we finish things before SEELE does it anyway."
"Your plan ends the same way, Commander," Misato snapped back. "Everyone dead. We object."
"Your objections are irrelevant, Major. Humanity has no time left. There is only inevitability. And if you will not assist in holding off the JSSDF and SEELE, then we have no time to waste on you." Commander Ikari unlinked his tented hands and reached under the desk for a phone. He raised it to his ear. "Major Katsuragi, Inspector Kaji, and Doctor Akagi have been relieved. Take them to detention."
He replaced the phone and stared at them all for a moment, then turned his stare to Doctor Akagi specifically. "You should know better than them this is foolish."
Ritsuko's face hardened. "So should you. You think this is going to work? You don't even-" She clamped her mouth shut abruptly. Her arms were shaking, fists thrust into the deep pockets of her lab coat.
Misato could guess. 'Maybe he doesn't know his little key isn't taking orders from him any more. I need to distract him.' She broke her position of attention and took a step closer to draw his eye. "She's right. This isn't going to work." She narrowed her eyes at the Commander. "Do you really think she will forgive you for doing this? That she will approve?"
Commander Ikari's stare shifted back to her, a faint wrinkle of annoyance joining his expression. "Doctor Akagi's forgi-"
"Not Doctor Akagi!" Misato interrupted. "Doctor Ikari's."
Gendo somehow stiffened without moving at all. "You know noth-"
"We know everything!" Misato overrode him again. "She's been talking to your son for weeks. And if you ever bothered to talk to him at all, you might even know that. He's certainly been telling us what she's been saying, and she's not very happy with you!"
Gendo's glare was harder than steel now. "I have no time for your lies, Major. Communication with the Evangelions is impossible. We tried, for years."
"Maybe she just doesn't want to talk to you," Ritsuko spoke up. "Maybe you don't know anyone as well as you think. Not me. Not Major Katsuragi. Not Doctor Ikari. Not the First Child. Maybe you're making a mistake. People make mistakes. I thought I was in love with you." She pulled her right hand out of her pocket and stared at her fingertips. Her left hand was still in its pocket, the arm shaking slightly. "And you think Ayanami will let you end the world on command."
Gendo's face was somewhere between blank ice and fury. He stared hard at Ritsuko and dropped his right hand below the surface of the desk again, to his side. He snapped his fingers gently. "Up."
Rei Ayanami stood up from where she'd been sitting at his side. She turned to face the three NERV officers and stared mindlessly at them, her student uniform crisp and fresh.
Misato blanched. How? She heard Kaji muffle a hiss of surprise to her left. Ritsuko did not bother stifling hers.
"I told you, Doctor. I always have contingencies." A faint note of cold triumph colored Commander Ikari's voice now. "Rei will do as she is ordered, as she always has. It is what she was created for."
"Rei, what are you doing? You know what this means!" Misato asked in confusion.
Rei Ayanami just stared silently at her.
Commander Ikari turned his head a few degrees toward the First Child. "Go. Kill the last Angel, then await my arrival."
"Yes, sir," the First Child said, barely loud enough to hear in the cavernous office. She began to walk around the Commander's desk.
"Rei, stop! You can't-" Misato began, taking another step forward.
Ritsuko grabbed her shoulder from behind. Misato snapped her head around to look at her friend.
"That's not Rei!" Ritsuko hissed urgently. "I left her in my lab down below. That can't be her!"
Misato's eyes widened in surprise and she whipped around again to look at the young woman walking towards them, mind kicking into overdrive.
'If that's not Rei, the Commander must have had another clone stashed away. A Rei that doesn't know us, that will just do what she's ordered. Who can still start Third Impact for him. We can't let her. We can't let him.'
It was hardly a decision. Her hands were already moving, one pulling her jacket slightly more open, the other darting snake-fast for her holster.
Her USP was in her hand, the sights drifting past the false First Child for a second as she lined them up on Commander Ikari. The red bullet was at the top of the magazine, but the conventional round already in the chamber needed to go first.
'I've got one AT-Field bullet for the fake Rei. And if I'm in for that, might as well make the bastard who left my father to die face the music too. You earned this, Commander.'
Commander Ikari wasn't moving, wasn't dodging. He just kept staring at Misato over his laced fingers, apparently unperturbed by the sight of a pistol pointed right at him.
Misato's thumb flicked the safety off. She felt her teeth grit. If Commander Ikari was going to make it this easy, she wasn't going to protest. Her father's face flicked across her mind for an instant. She squeezed the trigger.
The pistol barked in her hand. She was already moving, the sight post settling on the bluenette. Her finger was about to pull the trigger again when a now familiar weird hum reached her hearing.
Commander Ikari sat unmoved and cold, the humming octagons of a protective AT-Field shimmering in front of his desk. His right hand was raised, palm out towards them, a warding gesture much like the one Rei had used last night to protect Kaworu.
'Shit!'
The shock made Misato hesitate just a second, caught between pulling the trigger on the fake Rei and swinging her aim back to Commander Ikari for her sole anti-AT-Field bullet. It was a second too long.
Rei's hand came up too. She made a sweeping gesture at Misato. The Operations Manager felt something like an electric shock blast through her at the same time as a smooth, hard wall smashed her hand aside and sent her flying backwards. Her pistol flew out of her hand and went skidding backwards past her on the polished stone of the office floor, well out of reach.
Misato tried to get up from where she landed. Her limbs wouldn't answer. She was too dizzy to think and her vision swam. She dimly heard Kaji shout her name and rapid footsteps. They came towards her and then past. There was another humming buzz, the sound of a body falling, and another clatter of a pistol hitting the floor and skidding.
Muffled words from a deep male voice. A short, curt reply from a woman's. A terse order. Misato heard the doors to the office open and unhurried steps of hard shoes approaching her. Misato barely managed to shake her head and blink, forcing concentration.
"-for attempted mutiny and refusal of orders. Take them to the holding cells. I will deal with them tomorrow. I have no time for this foolishness right now," Commander Ikari ordered the Section 2 detail.
Hard, unfriendly hands pulled her up off the floor. She mostly managed to stand under her own power as they cuffed her. It was only after they forcibly turned her around that she managed to see Kaji being similarly treated.
Commander Ikari's stony face appeared before her. "I told you, Major. There is only inevitability. This only ends my way or theirs."
Misato narrowed her eyes in as harsh a glare she could manage. "She won' forgive you f'r this… Tol' us," she slurred, her tongue and lips half-numb. "You hur' Shi'ji…"
His face somehow hardened further. "She will understand. I have no time for your lies."
He jerked a nod at the guards. "Take them away."
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Author's Note, 09AUG23: Apologies, everyone. A DM from Starfire99 reminded me that it's been way too long since I updated the FFnet version of A&T. So here's a big 10,000 word rollup of Chapter 12 parts 3 to 6, current as of today.
As ever, the tip jar is here: w w w . Patr 30n . c 0 m / strypgia