Ever since the MC Bat Commander was just a little homie, he always wanted a super cool robot best friend. He also wanted to be a superhero, a rock, star and a dinosaur. He figured three outta four wasn't bad. And he was sure if Jimmy ever got that time machine up and running, that his fun-sized self would still give him a high five anyway because Jimmy was SO MUCH MORE than his best Robo-Bro…
"S-sorry Commander! Did I shock you again?"
"Yeah…it's okay though. Kiss it better…?" The Commander pouted playfully and pointed at his lips. Jimmy chuckled and tilted the Commander's chin, calculated the appropriate angle and carried the 2, before diving back in.
…He was a Robo-Boyfriend. A Robo-Brofriend. A RoBroFriend…? Whatever, they weren't into labeling things quite yet. Point was, Jimmy was basically his SUPER BFF! Because they still did all the totally rad stuff that best-bros do, like play video games all night when the Commander couldn't sleep and Jimmy was fully charged. But they also got to do hold hands and kiss and touch each other all "PG-13" style in Jimmy's lab after the guys hit the bunks - Like they were doing right now. And that was SO RAD!
Although the Commander wasn't a little dude anymore, and he could stand to up the MPAA rating, if you catch the drift.
But that's where having a RoBroFriend wasn't as super rad as it could be. Like, kissin' Jimmy was AWESOME, even when his lips got all hot and static-shock-y. But whenever those static-shock-y kisses got him all tingly and made his "little homie" stand at attention, suddenly that was it - Game over, man! Even now, the human was grinding against Jimmy's leg with a needy huff, and Jimmy was about to pull away. But the Commander grabbed him and clung to him like a leach.
"Wait - Jimmy….!" The Commander whined. "…I'm just getting warmed up…!
"I…I can SENSE that, Commander I just…I'm not sure if it's a good idea for us to-"
"Aw, why NOT, baby?! We've been sneaking around an' suckin' face for WEEKS now! I wanna suck somethin' ELSE…" The Commander waggled his eyebrows under his mask suggestively, Jimmy started to stammer like a broken cassette tape.
"You…have a…a THINGY, right Jimbo? I mean, I know you're a robot but I thought-"
"We are indeed 'compatible', Commander. But umm…my…'thingy' as you put it is quite, well…different from what you might be expecting. It's…why I've been afraid to progress much further with this relationship, I'm sorry to report. I just…don't want you to be disappointed…"
"Awww…Jimmy c'meeeere!" The Commander cooed while grabbing a hold of Jimmy's love-handles. "Why would I be disappointed? You're a total BABE, babe!" Jimmy squirmed in his arms.
"Well, for one, as a robot I'm not built for reproduction, but strictly for pleasure and stimulation…"
"Trust me, Jimbo - I'm A-OKAY with that…" The Commander had already gotten down on his knees, and was fiddling with Jimmy's belt.
"Ah! Okay, okay if you REALLY want to become familiar with my anatomy…you have to activate my sex-drive first…" The Commander stood up again, giving Jimmy a pouty-face.
"Wait, I wasn't already DOING THAT with all the kissing?!"
"No, I mean…i-if you press down on a button in my pelvic area you will activate a software update in my brain called my "sex drive" and my- AYE!"
The Commander, only half listening, slid a hand up Jimmy's upper thigh and cupped Jimmy's crotch as he caressed the small button with his thumb. Then pressed down. Hard! Jimmy bit his lip, and as the Commander felt him up he noticed that Jimmy went from being as anatomically endowed as a Ken Doll, to feeling a size-able trouser snake under his palm, straining against his shorts. He chuckled, sliding his hand back and forth over the buldge.
"Thaaaaat's better! Right, babe- WOAH!" The Commander quickly retracted his hand, feeling the thingy start to VIBRATE. "Woah…"
Jimmy tucked his chin into the neck of his rash guard, casting his eyes to the ground. "I told you it was different…"
"Can I see it Jimmy? Please? Pretty please with sugar on top?" The Commander batted his eyelashes, and Jimmy couldn't say no to that handsome, mustachioed face.
"…alright…if you insist…" Jimmy squeezed his eyes shut as he hooked his thumbs into his waistband and shoved his shorts and boxer briefs past his knees.
The Commander blinked, as Jimmy's shorts dropped to his ankles and was face to face with…well…IT!
It was a sleek, smooth, a shiny chrome color and possibly full of angry hornets, the way it was BUZZING like that! It was nothing like HIS! Heck, it was nothing like he had ever seen! Well, outside of Spencer's Gifts at any rate…
Jimmy shuffled awkwardly, his pants and under-roos still pooled around his ankles, while rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.
"I…I know, I'm sorry, it's…i-it's woefully inadequate compared to the human phallus-"
"Jimmy, BABY, come on - you call THIS 'inadequate'?!"
Jimmy sucked on his lower lip as the Commander reached a hand between them and grabbed the vibrating shaft.
"You got a real ROCKET in your pocket there, Homie!"
"…Thank you Commander…that's…kind of you to say so…b-but what I mean is I can't…feel a whole lot down there. It doesn't…do much for me. It's designed purely for…well, you! Well, not YOU specifically… I'm sure my father, the traditional mad-scientist that he is, wanted me to settle down with a woman like Mother someday but-"
"Man, Thanksgiving Dinner with your folks is gonna be WEIRD this year…"
"Commander, please focus-"
"Right, your sexy parts…" The Commander pouted, clearly disappointed, but continued to slide his slightly clammy palm up and down Jimmy's length. "So this doesn't do anything for ya, huh?"
"…w-well…it does a-a little…"
"'A LITTLE?!'" The Commander whined, like a child that couldn't get a new toy to work…which was more or less the situation quite literally at hand here…
"Y-yeah ummm…y-you're…! I-it works a lot better when YOU do it then when I've tried to…experiment…"
The Commander slacked his grip, a shit-eating grin spreading across his slightly pudgy face.
"…in the past…when I was a younger model…"
"You DOG, you!"
Jimmy huffed, crossing his arms over his metal chest. Getting quite hot under the hood, so to speak. "N-now stop that! I'm a man of science and it's only natural for me to want to conduct a few tests on myself!"
"And what were your findings, Mr Smarty-No-Pants?" The Commander chuckled, giving Jimmy a playful tug. Causing Jimmy to try to duck his head into his rash guard like a shy turtle.
"Ah! Umm…th-that I…I have…SOME pleasure sensors…down there, b-but if I…tinker with some of my internal wiring and buttons it can be very…intense."
"Internal wires and buttons, eh? Don't sweat it, Jimbo - butt-stuff really tickles my pickle too, if ya catch my drift…" The Commander winked.
"COMMANDER! Th-that's not what I-!"
"Aw, I didn't know robots could blush! That's so cute!"
"I-It only happens when my circuitry gets over-heated! I'm sorry, you'll have to excuse me I'm…you've got me working in over-drive, Commander!"
"Dawwwww…you make my heart 'pick it up, pick it up' too, Robot!" The Commander stood up on his tip-toes to give him a quick smooch on the nose. Which wrinkled on contact, clearly Jimmy was embarrassed. Which the MC Bat Commander just ate up like a hundred donuts with a coupon for another hundred donuts at full price. He giggled.
"Sooooo…you got sexy inside parts, huh? Can I see?" The Commander snickered, tracing the 'A' on Jimmy's rash guard with his forefinger suggestively.
"Right now?!" Jimmy squeaked, before coughing into his fist and trying to return to his usual calm and cool demeanor. He was failing."…I mean um…it's really nothing too exciting…just wires and plugs and sockets…"
"But they're YOUR wires plugs and sockets, Robot!" The Commander cut him off, batting his eyelashes. "Of COURSE it's exciting to me!" Jimmy reached up to hold the Commander's hand in place on his chest and give it a firm squeeze - so touched by the sentiment. The Commander slipped his hand away almost immediately and Jimmy pouted…until that same hand snaked it's way under his rash guard and fingers brushed softly against his belly.
"…And I wanna touch them…" His hand inched up higher, pushing the rash guard up his chest. "…and play with them…" He started pushing lightly on Jimmy's chest, forcing him to walk backwards "…and make you go haywire…"
"C-commander…" Jimmy stumbled over his shorts before kicking them aside. He took a few more steps backwards until the Commander had his back pressed against the wall.
"…I'm gonna yank stuff out…" Jimmy helplessly lift up his arms as the Commander pulled his rash guard over his head. "…plug stuff back in…and out, and in and out until you run out of juice and need to be recharged!"
"…p-please? I would like that VERY much…" Jimmy whimpered, while sliding down the wall, knees spreading apart…just a little.
"Ha, wow… that works for you? I'm just making this stuff up as I go along! WINGIN' IIIIIIT!" The Commander pumped his fist in the air in a way that made Jimmy want to slug him in the arm. Until he managed to pop open his chest plate. Jimmy covered his overheated face with his hand…feeling so EXPOSED! Naked! The Commander wolf whistled, and Jimmy managed to sneak a peek of his human…well…his HUMAN through his fingers. Wondering how this man made of flesh and bone and gumption and everything worth loving and protecting about humankind could possibly find the mess of wires inside him appealing.
"DAAAAY-UM, Robot…you're BEAUTIFUL!"
Jimmy's eyebrows shot to the top of his helmet, while staring at the Commander's face - illuminated by the many colorful lights blinking inside of him. Gosh…HE was the truly beautiful one…
"Do you really mean that, Commander?" Jimmy asked shyly, the a faint blush and smile JUST peaking out from underneath his hand.
"Oh HELLS to the yeah! Just LOOK at ya - You look like CHRISTMAS in here…or a super-sexy laser show! And speakin' of super-sexy-sex-stuff…" The Commander pulled Jimmy's hand off his face and held it. "Guide me in Jimmy, Baby - which wires rev ya up?"
Jimmy took a big, deep breath through his nose, not that he really needed too (okay, maybe he DID need to…just a little. To calm his jangled nerves and aid his poor, over-worked coolant systems…) while running his metallic thumb over the Commander's wrist. Before slowly, carefully, guiding the Commander's human hand inside of him. Being mindful that there were certain wires that could NOT be disconnected or it was STRAIGHT to the Professors lab. And also mindful that human beings were natural conductors and the Commander could easily hurt himself-
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…
Just then, the Commander's fingers started wriggling around inside him. Brushing against the wires connected to his legs and sent a pulse of electricity to them - making them shake at the knees. And the Robot decided that after defeating both Space Monster M and the Floating Eye of Death that they could risk a little static shock and in a pinch duct tape was good for repairing faulty wiring…
"Yeah? Keep talkin' to me, buddy - you don't come with a user manual, ya know…"
"R-right, sorry umm…on the left, you should find a thin, purple wire-"
"I'm on it!" The Commander gave him a grin and a wink before diving in. Gently pushing thick cables out of the way, wishing he had a flashlight so he could see what he was doing. Jimmy's directions were helpful, when he could make them out between all the panting and it didn't help that his Robo-Beau couldn't stop SQUIRMING!
"…n-no…to the left…MY left…l-lower…lower…higher-HNNGH!"
"Hey Roboooot! I think I foooound iiiiit!" The Commander sang, tugging gently at the wire. Coiling around his finger that made Jimmy squeeze his eyes shut. "Feels good?" Jimmy nodded. "So what's this little doo-hickey connected too?"
"M-my brain…" The Commander let go immediately. He was up for freaky-robo-sex but BRAIN surgery? No thank you! Jimmy began to panic and scrambled to explain his robot anatomy in terms the Commander would understand. "N-No don't stah-! Ahem…I mean…it's…my sense of touch. N-nothing compared to the complexity of that of a human's but…th-that wire connects my sensory ports like my synthetic skin and my um…'Jimmy Junior'…to my brain and when you tug on it I can feel EVERYTHING and if you pull it all the way out then plug it back IN again-"
The Commander curled his fingers around the little pesky purple wire again and yanked it out of it's socket before rapidly plugging it back in.
Jimmy groaned, code flashing before his eyes as he went numb…before returning 2 tenths of a second later along with the suddenly STRONG sensations of the cold wall against his back and neck, the hot, hot, hot, HOT (and kinda sweaty) hand of his Commander inside him. It was all too much! And not enough…not NEARLY enough!
"'zat good?" The Commander gently nudged the port, eyeing Jimmy carefully - clearly not 100% sure what he was doing, but not about to let that stop him from being the most awesome brofriend a robot could ever ask for.
Y-y-YESSsss…again…please?" He hissed between gritted teeth, shivering as electricity surged through his body.
"You got it, babe!" The Commander ripped the cord out of the socket, and plugged it back in. Out and in, out and in while running a hand up the Robot's inner thigh. Focusing on Jimmy's moaning and panting, accompanied by a low, steady static buzzing in the background.
"Ooooh….ooh, Ooh, OOOOH…! Slower, please…? HNNGH! Yes, like that…! Thank you! Feels so good…when you touch me..! Ah…"
"Heh, YEAH it does - that's 'cuz I got I got mad SKILLS, yo! How do ya like THESE apples?" The Commander teased, while slapping his hand over Jimmy's false phallus.
"OH! Umm…! I-I like those apples very much, Commander! MUCH better than the apples from back home…"
The Commander chuckled, and continued to pump Jimmy with one hand, in time with the steady rhythm of his handiwork inside of Jimmy. In and out, in and out. Up and down, up and down. The MC Bat Commander didn't exactly have a lot of experience with other humans, let alone robots. But judging from how Jimmy was practically writhing up against the wall, his confidence wasn't exactly shaken. He was just awesome, he guessed. And Jimmy was awesome. And they were awesome TOGETHER! But working both hands was getting kinda tricky so he relied heavily on bobbing his head to the tempo of "Pinch and Roll" to keep him slow and steady. He kept the speed nice and easy, before he started to pick it up…and pick it up…and pick it up! Pickituppickituppickituppickituppickituppickituppickitup-!
"I'm right here, Jimmy-Baby…" The Commander soothed, his frenzied hand motions slowing down. "What's up, my little horny homie?"
"There's…one other thing you could…try…"
"Oh yeah? Lay it on me!"
Jimmy shakily reached for the Commander's hand that was sliding up and down his buzzing length, until it slowed to a stop. He grabbed the hand and guided it into his chest again, until his finger found a small button hidden at the very bottom of his chest cavity.
"Oooh, what does this button do?" The Commander teased, while tapping the button but not fully pressing down on it. Jimmy whined.
"It's-! It's a stimulant comparable to the human prostate, but it's function is completely diff…oh just PRESS it!"
"Haha cool DOWN, baby! Relax! I'm on it…" The Commander kissed the side of his mouth, stroked the button teasingly before pressing it down as far as it would go. Jimmy's eyes rolled in the back of his head as he moaned. The Commander smirked against Jimmy's lips and pressed it again, but this time shot his head down to Jimmy's lap when he felt something jab his inner thigh.
Only to find that the smooth, sleek robo-vibrator he had just gotten to know had been retracted back up into his body and replaced with a much longer, textured, and silicon based version. The Commander shifted, and the fingers that were once stroking Jimmy's wire were now lightly exploring Jimmy's NEW thingy.
"Well hellooooooo…" The Commander purred, "Where'd you come from, little fellah?" He gave the new and improved "Jimmy Junior" a few quick strokes before pressing the button again experimentally. His eyes widened at his now empty fist. He raised an eyebrow at Jimmy who looked like he might self-destruct any minute now.
"…press it again…please? Pretty please? W-with sugar on top?" He panted, digging his metallic fingers into the Commander's shoulder with need. The Commander nodded, and hit the button again. Eyes glided to Jimmy's metal lap and what other fun surprises it might have in store. And sure enough, with a click, another phallic object jutted out between his legs - as if he was some kinda fancy pen. This one was also made of silicon, but was flesh colored, and was modeled after a human phallus. The Commander traced a thumb over the carved veins then swirled it over the head. He looked up from Jimmy's lap to flash him a smile.
"Woah! You're like a sexy swiss-army knife! That's sooooo cool! What else ya got in there…?"
He was about to press down on the button again when Jimmy grabbed his wrist and held him in place.
"Hey, what gives?"
"Please, Commander…I'm, rather partial to this particular um…model…"
"Oh yeah? Why 'zat, Jimbo?"
"It looks more…! M-makes me feel more…human…" His voice got soft and quiet. "A-and less like a…cold, uh-nf-f-feeling robot- MMmmff! Mmm…mmm…" The Commander shut him up quick with a smooch.
"Hey - none of that now, okay? You're a HOT piece of robo-booty and CLEARLY you're not 'unfeeling'…" He emphasized this point with a deliberate stroke from the base to the tip of his faux-cock. Jimmy seized up, shivering as electricity and FEELINGS and EMOTIONS ran through his body like a happy puppy. The Commander picked up the pace, this time using the tempo of a song he hadn't actually written yet but was gonna be like, their best one YET when he was done, to guide him. His other hand was still inside Jimmy, and he went back and forth between teasing, but not fulling pressing down, on the sexy button and fiddling with the sexy wire. The Robot rolled his head back and groaned, binary code flashing before his eyes. As electricity was starting to build inside of him, the power drained from the Battletram - lights flickered on and off, the Commander didn't seem to notice however, but Jimmy sure did! Jimmy tried to gently shove the Commander off of him, while his body vibrated.
"C-omm…! Cooommmmm…! I'm gonna…EXPLODE…! You need to…!"
The Commander didn't budge, grinning ear to ear while Jimmy's face turned red and scrunched up, oily tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes. Smoke and sparks coming out of his ears.
"I need to WHAT, baby?"
Jimmy THREW the Commander to the ground, who landed with as much grace as a sack of dirty laundry. He opened his mouth, preparing to give Jimmy a hot little EARFUL of sass, but snapped his trap back shut quickly, as the entire Tram went pitch black then Jimmy freakin' LIT UP like a Christmas Tree on FIRE and static BUZZING all around him like a swarm of a thousand space bees! The Commander crab-walked backwards as the head of Jimmy's gosh-dang-ding-dong opened like a hatch and freakin' LASER MISSILES shot out like fireworks into the air! Jimmy made a gargled, crackled sound - eyes glowing bright white before going completely dim. Power flickered back on throughout the Battletram…
"Jimmy…what in the WHAAAA was THAT!? Jimmy…? JIMMY!"
…apparently draining Jimmy of his! Jimmy toppled over with a loud CLUNK and the Commander panicked, crawling back on top of Jimmy's unconscious body and shook his shoulders. Slapping his face a few times, trying to get him to quit foolin' around and to quit SCARING HIM!
"Jimmyjimmyjimmyjimmy PLEASE don't be broken, dude! Buddy? BABY? Jimmy, baby, I-….Jimmy?"
The Commander sniffled, rubbing his teary face with his hands, smearing his mustache beyond recognition as the unmistakable sound of start up music rang through the lab, followed by a laughably outdated dial-up tone. After a few minutes of systems checks, life was back into Jimmy's eyes.
"S-sorry C-c-c-c-omma-a-nderrrr…" Jimmy stuttered, sounding like an 80's dance re-mix. "I believe y-y-you over-loaded my s-eh-eh-eh-EX de-r-r-rive and I sh-sh-short circu-uited. I had to re-e-e-e-Eboot…"
"What?! Jimmy, buddy…I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to- I just got carried away and- please don't be mad at me! Don't hate me, buddy, baby! We need a safe word…How about 'Battletram'? Or is that too obvious? What about 'Lobster Bucket!-'"
"Commander…!" Jimmy cut him off, sounding more like himself again, smiling faintly. "I'm…I'm okay. Better than okay, actually…better than ever…" He sighed happily.
"…wait…hold up, Homie- did you just have some kinda freaky-deaky 'robo-gasm?'"
"I suppose that's not a completely inaccurate way of describing it…"
"…Cheese and fucking CRACKERS! Ya could have WARNED me that I was gonna happen!"
"Sorry, Commander…I was…distracted…"
I thought I broke you!"
"It wouldn't be a bad way to go, to be honest…"
The Commander playfully slapped Jimmy upside the head.
"Hey- listen to me, Jimmy the Robot! I'm your leader - the Commander! And I COMMAND you to never break! Never ever!"
"Heh…'yes, SIR!" The Robot mock saluted. The Commander flushed. "Heh, does being called 'Sir' in this context please you, Commander?"
"MMmmm…c'mere…" The Commander leaned back and gave Jimmy the "come hither" finger.
"Yes, Sir…" Jimmy leaned in, lips puckered…then suddenly jerked away. Eyes glowing and a distinctly robotic voice crackled from his voice-box
"WARNING - LOW BATTERY. PLUG J.A.M.E.S INTO THE RECHARGE STATION IMMEDIATELY"
"Aw, no fair! You're outta juice ALREADY?! I didn't get a turn yet!" The Commander pouted.
"Sorry, Commander…next time…I promise…" His voice was starting to slow down and go lower in pitch, like he was an old, worn out record player.
"Next time?" The Commander perked up. "Can 'Next Time' be same time tomorrow night?" Jimmy gave a lazy thumbs up, his normally sharp and calculating eyes going in and out of focus. Flickering on and off, as if he was drifting off to sleep.
"Aw, poor Baby…I really wore ya out, huh? C'mon, come to Papa- that's it…!" The Commander hoisted Jimmy's robo-butt off the floor, guided him back into his shorts, and walked him to the recharge station. He propped Jimmy up with one arm, while hitting the stand-by button with the other before climbing in with him. There wasn't a lot of room for the two of them, but the Commander wasn't exactly ITCHING to create some space between him and his Robot, well…his ROBOT!
The Commander pressed his cheek against the Robot's bare chest, nearly lulled asleep by the sounds of what could only be called life humming through Jimmy's body when-
"Err…Commander…?" Jimmy murmured, starting to come to and back online.
"Thank you…for everything…ever. But if you want to head off to bed I'll be okay now…"
'Pfft, are you kidding me Jim-Jam? I'm not the love 'em and leave 'em type! 'sides…you're the one always griping about how cold and lonely you get when you have to recharge."
"I…appreciate it but…you can't possibly be comfortable-"
"That's why we're going to CUDDLE, genius! Now, scooch over! Theeeere we go…"
And so, the MC Bat Commander and Jimmy the Robot cuddled deep into the night. Squished into the re-charge station like a couple of sardines, but more romantic. The next morning, they'd have to answer to all the clocks blinking 12:00, Jimmy's glitchy jumpiness and the Commander's sore neck…as well as the other Aquabats, who APPARENTLY were kept up all night because of the "squeaky, freaky robo-lovin'." But for now, the lovers of loving love were saying hello to goodnight.