Author's notes: Wow, I finally got around to writing the tricky chapter that stowed itself into my brain and refused to come out. .* It didn't turn out as good as I hoped, but I still hope someone will enjoy it. ^^;;

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My eyes finally slip open, and all I see is white. I feel dizzy but I pull my head together enough to focus, and I see that I'm in the hospital wing. It's well lit, but not too much so, which is quite relaxing for my sore eyes. Then again, everything feels kind of sore. I glance around the room listlessly until my attention is called to something that makes my senses all focus in an almost painful way.

He's here.

All of my previous thoughts strike back into my head all at once. Everything I had felt linked back to him. Why did that come over me? In that time, when nothing was clear, and all I cared about was my thoughts of him... What was that about?

"You're awake!" I feel his hand reach over mine. I abandon my thoughts to focus my eyes again and see that he's leaned forward, with a look of pure concern on his face. "Are you all right?"

A hot rush swells into my face, and I pull my hand away from his as effectively as I can.

"Fine," I reply, surprised at how clear my voice is after such an incident.

He doesn't seem affected by my last action, and he continues to look into me with that gaze. I want to tell him to stop. I want to tell him to stop making me feel this way. I want him to stop making me feel...

"What are you doing here?" the words come from my lips.

"I... Came because I was worried," he mumbles. "Your head took a bad hit. You shouldn't use too much energy. They say that will heal in a couple of days, but your main concern should be your left leg. Apparently it's fractured."

"I know," I say simply in a cold voice.

Stop this... Why do you care so much?

He stares me in the eye with that look, but he's not oblivious to my attitude with him. I can tell.

Can't you see what you're doing to me?

"I'll ask again. Why are you here?" I turn my eyes away from his. I don't want to see the look that will come next.

"Roy..." his voice drops just above a whisper. "I told you, I was worried."

Why are you putting all of this onto me?

"Why?" I add just after hearing those words. "What concern is it of yours? You weren't hurt, were you?"

Although my eyes are turned away, I can just tell that his expression is changing. Something is finally adding onto the look he's held since I woke up. He seems hurt.

I don't want to upset you... Not really.

"But you were. Isn't it normal for a person to be concerned when someone close to them could have died?


"I didn't ask you to come," my voice raises slightly.

Why am I saying these things to him?

"So, what is it? Do you want me to leave you here alone? What if you fall under again?" his pain is becoming anger.

Is it that important to me to block out the feelings I had before?

I look back at him, as my eyes show the same annoyance that his voice does. That hot sensation flushes back into my face and I turn away as quickly as I turned to him.

...Are they really completely gone?

I hear him sigh, trying to calm down. I doubt it worked. "Why are you acting like this?"

I don't know.

"I don't need you here, okay, Marus? You aren't my guardian, nor do I need one." my voice raises more. "I don't need to be treated like a child yet again."

"I'm not treating you like a child!" his eyes burn. "I'm only here because--"

The look on his face tells me that he went farther than he wanted to.

I know why you're here. You don't need to tell me. I can see it when you get like this. It's hard for you to hide it.

"You're here because you feel sorry for me, is that it?"

"That's not it and you know it," his voice suddenly becomes stern. "I'm not an idiot, and I can take a hint. I just thought that after everything I'd done to help you, you would show a little more gratitude."

...And you're right. You've helped me more than you know... So why can't I tell you?

"Helped me? When have you helped me?"

What's holding me back?

"All you've done is screwed me up more," I continue, against my own wish but I can't stop. "You should've let me bleed out back there. Then I wouldn't be stuck here now."

"What kind of death would that be?! You couldn't even slit far enough to do any serious damage! All that proves is that you didn't have the guts to do it!"

Those words stay in my mind painfully. I can feel the features on my face change, and the anger fades. I don't know what is visible on my face, however, but I don't really care. My eyes stare blankly onto the sheets, and the wor repeat in my head.

...I'm sorry.

After a moment of silence, he settles back into a less angry expression, as well. "You don't want to die, and I know it. I'm sorry if I'm not good enough to be your savoir, but I just don't want to see you hurt anymore. If you don't give a damn about me, fine," slowly he stands.

No... Don't leave...

"But that's not going to change the way I feel about you," he adds in a mumble as he turns away.

Don't leave me now.

"Don't you get it?!" the false anger flares up again. "It's not worth it, dammit! Stop wasting your time with me! Because you're right, I don't care!"

Stop saying these things...

His head lowers slightly. His hair shadows over his eyes. I can see his lips move slightly from the small part of his mouth that I can see, but nothing comes out.

I'm sorry, Marus.

I hear a shaking breath as he pulls himself up and walks quickly toward the door without breaking into a run.

Please don't leave.

He doesn't look back as he closes the door behind him. As he leaves, so does the part of myself so determined on holding myself back. Without his presence, it doesn't seem to feel the need to come out. It's accomplished what it wanted.

My voice cracks in my next breath. The pressure in my chest is forced out, and I no longer care if I cry. I don't care if anybody comes in and sees me like this. I don't care. I screwed it all up. He's gone now...

And I just don't have the strength to care anymore.