Slayers and it's characters do not belong to me. Same with Star trek next gen. blah, blah, blah... Piccard and all the rest are out of character, but that's called POETIC LICENCE! so NEEEEER:p
"What Ever I Decide to Call it at the Time..."
also known as
"Beige and Blue and Borg-ed all over"
"Captains Log. Star date... I can't remember, it's been so LONG out here! Besides exactly which star are we taking out dates from? I mean, look out any of the windows, there are billions and squillions of them out there and we have no idea how long they have been there. So do we take the date from the Earth's star? Again how do we know the ACTUAL date, Hmmm? All we have is theoreticals. How long has our sun really been there? Billions of years? Squillions? How long has Earth been there for that matter? Did we evolve from protoplasmal, primeordial atomic globules(1)? Or Apes? Or were we shaped from the ground and placed here?"
"You were placed here." Came a voice from across his desk. Jaun-Luc looked up with startlement to see a young man with shoulder length purple hair, closed eyes, and the biggest smile possible standing there like he owned the place.
"What! How did you get in here!"
"Call me Xellos," the purple haired man said, reaching out a friendly hand, which Piccard did not shake. "As for how I got in here, well... that's a secret!" Piccard simply stared at Xellos as he sat in the chair opposite. "I want to know about your 'tri-quarters'."
Piccard blinked. "What about them? And how are you so sure humans were made and did not evolve?"
"Trust me, humans were made. Same with everything else."
"How is it possible that the universe and all that is in it were made in seven days? That can't be right."
"Oh, no." Xellos laughed. "It was only six days. The seventh was the big rest day. Surly you know your history. That rest day sure was needed after all that work!"
Piccard gave Xellos a look that said I don't believe you.
"What is it about Humans and historical events?" Xellos sighed. "Even when it is recorded you don't believe it really happened. I know that if I created the world and then my creation forgot all about it I'd be pretty insulted. Humans are lucky to still be alive, with that sort of attitude."
"How can you be so sure that it did happen that way? You were'nt there-"
Xellos gave Piccard a sly look and tisked his finger back and forth. "Uh-uh-uh, you don't know that!" Then he changed the subject. "Now about that weapon..."
"No!" Piccard slapped the table top which made Xellos jump back. "You tell me what you mean by being there when the world was made!"
Xellos shrugged. "I never said I was." Piccard growled and reached for his tricorder threateningly. Xellos held up his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay. I wasn't actually there. But I know someone who was and she says you were made and put on Earth. No evolving from primordial soup, and no ape-men." Xellos stood to pase back and forth. "I actually think that idea is pretty funny. If humans evolved from apes, then why are there still apes around? Why are there still other animals for that matter since humans tend to think they are on the top of the food chain. If it really is all just survival of the fittest then why do humans send all their fittest and smartest off to fight and die in wars? It just shows that you should never underestimate the weak."
Xellos reached to try and get his hands on Piccards weapon, but Piccard put up his foot to push him away. Now Xellos was on the floor with Piccard's foot on his head, while he tried to reach past Piccard's legs to his crossed arms which held the prize. Piccard was thinking. His whold exhistance MEANT something now. He was not just a fluke, but a specially created being. It sort of made him feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
"But then why have there been so many wars and horrors in which so many people had died horribly and slowly? Why does God allow people to hurt each other?"
"Because it's fun to watch." Xellos gruntted still trying to reach. "At least for us. We're not God so I can't really tell you his motivation."
Oh-kaaaay... "What do you want this thing for anyway?" Piccard suddenly let Xellos drop to the floor, looking at his tricorder.
Xellos smiled innocently up at him, which was really a mask of something nasty. But Piccard was inexperienced with Masoku's so he couldn't tell. "Oh, I just want to carve up some stone."
Seeing nothing particually wrong with carving up stones- they were not the ship balk heads, or weapons, or PEOPLE after all- he tossed the little weapon over for Xellos to catch.
And laughed evily before vanishing like he had never been there.
Piccard turned from the spot which seconds ago had held a strange young man and wondered - not for the first time - if he were going just a tad loopy.
That's right. I was talking into my log wasn't I? Stardate... Wait. That's no longer important. It's today. As much as today can be a day in the middle of space... Oh forget it. I'm going back out there.
Captain Piccard raised his eyebrows.
Riker stood with his mouth gaping open, speachless.
Dianna said: "Hmmm..."
Lina was rolling around on the command deck clutching her sides and laughing her guts out. All at the display of... affection? Attention? Obsession would probably be the best word to describe what the group of Borg were giving Zelgardis. All that could be seen of our stone-skinned hero was his hand. Sticking out the top of the pile of swarming "Borg of Justice" or what ever they were calling them selves.
"Get OFF me!" Zel yelled, surging up out of them and tossing them aside like rag dolls. The Enterprise team were impressed. Even Data. The Borg all looked up at him with big, bulging, addoring eyes that just made you want to vomit and said in unison :
"Mister Zelgardis? You're so MEEEEEAN!"
Zel twitched with horror.
Lina cackled even louder.
"It looks like they like you Zel." Gourry chirped.
"Yeah like I need ANOTHER fan club following me around asking imbarrassing questions..." Zel muttered, then backed away some when he noticed that the borg were all crawling towards him, sighing in love-sick ways. "Ick!"
"This is facinating, Captain," Data said. "I have never before seen the Borg behave in such a mannor."
"I wonder if the entire Borg system is doing the same thing?" Rika wondered out loud.
"Wouldn't that mean all of them would come here?" Dianna said, watching as Zel backed away to a wall, and shook a couple off his feet. Real panic was starting to set in as Zel had never had people behave this way towards him, and he was getting very close to climbing the wall to escape. "This could turn out very bad."
"L-lina?" Zel emplored across the deck to the scorceress. "Help?" Lina continued to cackle until she heard the sound of fabric ripping and the Borg converged upon Zel again. Then she rolled up her slieve.
"Alright, enough is enough! Let's see how you like-"
Suddenly all nine Borg turned to stone and fell off Zel with a clunk on the deck. Zel gasped for air, then stepped forward to look around with confusion.
"What the?" Lina blinked.
Xellos phased out of the wall behind Zel, and wrapped his arms around Zel's upper arms and chest. "Hello there Stoney!" Xellos chirped happily.
"Let go!" Zel cried, trying to escape Xellos' hold and failing.
"Xellos!" Lina yellped.
Xellos opened his slit masoku eyes and looked directly at Lina. "MINE!" He pulled Zel back into the wall and they vanished.
"Stoney?" Piccard wondered out loud, remembered what Xellos had said earlier about carving up stone. "Oh. Dear."
"Where did they go, Lina?" Gourry asked her quietly.
"I don't know," She replied just as quiet, but then became determined. "YET!" She promptly stormed out of the command deck with Gourry (and Naga) on her heals.
"What do we do with those?" Rika asked Piccard of the stoned Borg. Piccard got an interesting glint in his eyes.
To be continued...
(1)The Mikado. (Tee hee hee!)