APOLLO'S AWFUL DAY
Apollo's awful day began when he woke up, as usual. He was sleeping peacefully, his antennae rising and dropping with his steady (loud) snoring.
Apollo then woke up to a loud noise, louder that his chords of steel, in fact! Apollo, startled, jumped out of bed, onto some grass.
Apollo, antennae still rigid from shock, looked down, to see grass covering the ground. Apollo, confused, took in his surroundings. He noticed that he was standing in a large, boring, plain. Or, at least, it would be, if there wasn't a giant, dense, wall of shrubbery blocking him from leaving. There was a single exit, and it just seemed to be surrounded by huge shrubs as well. Apollo was feeling very unnerved, so he did what any confused-person-standing-in-a-huge-circle-of-shrubbery-next-to-a-bed would do.
"I'm Apollo Justice, and I'm fine!" Apollo yelled, causing the shrubs to shake. Maybe I do need to tone down the chords of steel. Apollo thought, his antennae drooping. So, Apollo, doing pretty much the only reasonable thing to do, as he was in his pajamas and had no phone, and he went into the exit.
Immediately, Apollo realized that this was obviously a maze. What was the rule again? Stick to the main path? Something like that? And so, Apollo went forward, and, of course, hit a wall. Ok, what now? Apollo thought, when something hit him.
Apollo turned around, and there was Ema Skye, standing there in pajamas covered with beakers and flasks, and strangely, a lab coat.
"Hey Apollo! Any idea where we are?" Ema asked him.
"Ema!? W-where did you come from?" Apollo asked her back.
"Well I was following the rule 'stick to the wall' and I eventually found you. Good thing we both know how to do that! Science prevails again!" Ema told him. "Oh yeah, and, I woke up in the middle of a clearing of some sort, which is why I'm dressed like this. Also, nice pajamas, Apollo. Do you normally sleep in your work clothes?"
"W-well you never know when you need to defend somebody." Apollo said, looking awkward. "A-anyway, we should stick together to find a way out."
And they went off together to find a way out.
"You blame me for sleeping in my work clothes, yet you're wearing a lab coat and science pajamas? I mean, you aren't even a scientist, you're a detective."
They continued on, the sun rising slowly, occasionally asking inane questions or useless comments like, "Do you think I should tone down my Chords of Steel?"
"Scientifically speaking: yes."
And they went on a while doing that sort of thing, until they came across another person. This was a seemingly Hispanic man with white hair, and wearing a visor with three red lines on it. He was standing in front of a large pile of coffee mugs, all empty, and he was holding another, full, one. Who was this guy?
"Hmm. I see a red lawyer and a scientist. What are you two doing in a place like this?" the strange man said, as he threw his mug at the pile behind him. Apollo blinked, and he was holding another one. How did he do that? Apollo wondered.
"Um, hello?" Apollo asked the masked man. "I'm Apollo, I work for Wright Anything Agency, and this is Ema, and, no, she's not actually a scientist- *Ka-TONK* "She's a detective." Godot smirked as he said "Wright Anything Agency."
"A detective who wants to be a scientist? That's like putting milk in your coffee." The man said.
"Doesn't milk go in coffee though?" Ema asked, looking thoughtful.
Suddenly Apollo was covered in Coffee.
"Why did you throw coffee at ME?"
"She said milk goes in coffee. Coffee is the best when it's as black as the darkest nights. Anything else is unacceptable."
"Then why didn't you splash her?!" Apollo angrily yelled, as he was twisting his antennae to get the coffee out.
"And HOW are you not out of snackoos yet?!" Apollo said as Ema pulled out another bag of snackoos. The masked man just smiled. "Anyway, who are you?"
"I'm a fallen defender who came back from the dead to do battle with someone. My name is Godot." Godot told them, and proceeded to chug his coffee, and pull out another mug. Ema put the bag of snackoos away.
"Anyway, I think we should continue moving. The sun's not stopping, and I have somewhere to be."
So they all ventured on, keeping to the wall, attempting to find the exit.
"Hey Mr. Godot."
Red? "A-anyway, when you heard me say Wright Anything Agency, you smirked. Have you heard of it before?"
Godot was silent for a moment before answering, "You can't ever forget the best coffee you've ever drunk."
"Which means…?" Apollo asked, while poking his forehead.
"Yes, I've met Trite before, about a year and a half before he was disbarred, in fact. I trust that you know about the Hazakura incident? I was the prosecutor on that case." Godot took a drink form his mug, then smirked. "I was also the culprit."
Apollo's antennae went straight up with shock. This man was a murderer?! Why is he in this maze? And where does he keep getting those mugs? Is it the same method that Ema uses with snackoos? Nah…
"I can tell you didn't know about the incident, red." Godot then drank from his cup and stopped talking. Ema then slowed down and walked beside Apollo, eating another bag of snackoos. It looks just opened!
"Apollo, I can tell that you don't really trust this man, but I think you should calm down. Honestly, anyone can tell, the way your antennae are twitching." And sure enough, his hair-antennae were sort of twitching every now and then. "You might want to have that looked at. But anyway, I've looked at this case before, and Godot killed someone to save a woman named Maya Fey."
"M-Maya Fey?!" Why hadn't anybody told me! "Isn't she Mr. Wright's friend?"
"Yeah, and the victim was actually her mother."
Apollo stopped talking, sensing a long story behind this, and also, Godot was talking with someone new.
She was a small red-headed girl with two braids running through her hair. She was wearing a strange looking purple robe. She had butterflies floating around her. Strangely, Godot's Mask was smoking, and he looked angry. The young lady also seemed mad. The butterflies around he kept spontaneously combusting.
"Hey Godot, who is this? You seem to know her-" but Ema was cut off as a coffee mug went hurling in their direction, and of course, landing on Apollo.
"Why didn't you throw it at her!?" Apollo yelled, ignoring the snackoo hitting him in the forehead.
"I never throw coffee at women. It's one of my rules." Godot said as he summoned another full mug.
"Fine. Anyway, who is this? And why are you so mad?" Apollo asked him.
"Maybe I should answer that." The young lady said. "My name is-"
"Dahlia Hawthorne." Godot interrupted. "The failure mastermind of the Hazakura incident."
"How dare you, you stupid coffee obsessed robot. I am NOT a failure." Dahlia said, and mysteriously Godot's coffee cup behind him melted.
"Were you not paying attention during the trial? What my kitten said? You are such a failure it's not even funny."
Dahlia's eyes grew bright, and another coffee cup melted.
"Just kidding." Godot said, smirking. "It's hilarious."
"HOLD IT!" Apollo shouted. Godot and Dahlia looked at him. "Shouldn't we be trying to find our way out of this maze?"
"Fine." Godot said, and started walking off.
"Wait for me!" called Ema, and she ran off towards Godot.
Dahlia "humph-ed" and walked off towards the others.
Why does this type of thing always happen to me? Apollo wondered, and he walked over to the others.
"Hey, Dahlia." Ema said. "How do you keep melting things and burning stuff?"
"Why in the world would I tell you?"
"I call it my 'Ghost Tricks.'" Dahlia said. "I don't technically need to be channeled in order to burn stuff, but since I'm here… you know."
"I see. But if you can instantly incinerate stuff, Why don't you destroy the shrubbery, and why don't you incinerate people?"
Aach! No, Ema don't- Apollo thought.
"I can't burn animals, and why in the world would I help you all."
"I see." Ema said, writing down some notes, and she began to eat even more snackoos.
"The most I can do to that idiot over there is make his face mask smoke. It's not remotely flammable." Dahlia added, as if to prove her evil intentions, and Godot just smirked.
Some time passed, when Apollo thought of something.
"Dahlia, didn't you say you were being channeled? Who is channeling you?"
"I assume that it's Mia Fey's little sister."
"That's the one."
"So you are being channeled by Maya. Why?"
"What do you mean, 'why?'"
"I mean, you're obviously homicidal. Why would Maya channel somebody who could potentially kill anyone she met?"
Dahlia flipped her hair, and answered, "I don't know, but you'll have to wait to find out. There's no way I'm going away right now."
Apollo figured he should probably stop talking to her, seeing as how her glare was getting worse and worse, and he got the feeling she was trying very hard to light him on fire.
Continuing from where they were, they came across another clearing, along with somebody new. He seemed to be an old man, wearing a suit, and had a line of stitching all down the side of his face. Next to him was a… sports jacket? Hm. He didn't seem the type to wear something like that, but oh well. It seemed to have a large red stain on it. Probably ketchup.
"Ah, it seems there were others in this maze with me. I woke up just moments ago, and was about to head out and maybe find others, but it seems you found me first." The man said. "My name is John. John Doe."
"Well, nice to meet you, Mr. Doe. We're all traveling together so we can find the exit together! It's scientific!" Ema said.
How is that scientific? "Anyway, my name is Apollo Justice, I'm a lawyer at Wright Anything Agency, the 'scientist' over here-"(Ka-TONK) "is Ema Skye. The evil redheaded girl with the braids is Dahlia Hawthorne, and this man right here is Godot." Apollo told him. "As she said, we're traveling together to find an exit, so do you want to come with?"
"I would be honored."
And so Mr. Doe went with them to find an exit.
Some time passed, when Godot said something.
"Hey, Mr. Doe. Whose coat was that back there?" Godot asked, holding a brand new steaming cup of coffee.
Mr. Doe was silent for a while before replying, "It was something that belonged to my former employer. He is… not with us anymore."
"Oh, he passed away?" Ema asked.
"…Something like that, yes." Mr. Doe replied, and then was silent for a while.
What's with this guy?
Up ahead, they heard some squabbling, and all decided to check it out.
"Piano Gavin! Get back here so that I can whip you into submission." Yelled a strange woman with silver hair and an extremely over-the-top outfit. She was talking about Klavier Gavin, of course, who was screaming and running towards them.
"Herr Forehead! Save me from this crazy witch!"
"I heard that!" yelled the fluttery woman chasing him.
"Eep!" Klavier eep-ed and he ran into their group.
"No way you're bringing her to us, you glimmorous fop!" Ema yelled, and pushed him into the woman, who began to whip him. Godot sighed, smirked, sipped some coffee, and grabbed the whip out of her hands.
"Nice to see you again… Lady von Whippinberg." Godot said, a wide smirk on his face.
"Oh, if it isn't the person who killed his girlfriends mother." Von… Whippinberg? Asked. Apollo thought "von Whippinberg" was very fitting. "And it's von karma." Oh.
"I prefer to go by 'Ungodly cool guy in the mask.'" Godot said, that smirk still unfading.
"Hmph. Whatever. Phoenix Wright, get out here." Von Karma yelled.
Mr. Wright stepped out from behind the corner of the hedge, mumbling something about dropping his pen.
"Mr. Wright, why were Ms. Von Karma and the glimmorous fop fighting?" Ema asked.
"Well, it was less that and more von Karma winning, so… wait. Is that Godot? And that man back there… is that Shelly de Killer?" Mr. Wright said.
"What's up, Trite." Godot said.
"Um, boss? That's John Doe not SHELLY DE KILLER. Come on. Shelly de Killer is an assassin, John Doe is a butler. Get it right, boss." Apollo said, his eyes rolling.
"Uh huh. So, have any of you seen Athena? Or Trucy? I mean, Edgeworth, Maya, and Blackquill all split up from us, so I know they're here, but we haven't gotten a message saying they found them, so where's Athena and Trucy? Also, why does that girl over there look like my ex-girlfriend? And why does she have Maya's clothes?" Phoenix asked.
"Why hello there… Feenie." Dahlia said, utter contempt visible with each word.
"D-Dahlia?!" Phoenix gasped.
"FEENIE?!" Apollo shouted. Feenie. Seriously. What is going on here?
"Let's continue, before Piano and von Whippinberg do something." Godot said.
And so, despite the fact that they had a couple murderers with them, they pressed on.
"That reminds me, Trite. I need to do something." Godot suddenly said, and before Phoenix could blink, he was covered in hot coffee.
"Agggg! Godot why!?" Phoenix yelled.
Godot just smirked.
Eventually, after going through many different dead ends, they found themselves at somewhere. A place that had a bed with attorney's badges all over them. It was Apollo's bed.
"Scientifically speaking, I don't think there's an exit." Ema said. Personally, Apollo thought she was right. And come to think of it…
"You know, I think that Ema and I are the only ones here who are wearing pajamas. Except for maybe Dahlia. I don't know if she's wearing pajamas, but do you all sleep in your work clothes. Everyone looked a bit uncomfortable, all except for Godot, who smirked as always, and Mr. Doe, who stayed silent.
"Anyhoo, I think fraulein Skye hit the nail on the head. I don't think there's actually an exit." Klavier said.
"I agree with piano Gavin." Said Franziska. "Even if his accent is… lacking."
"I agree with all of you!" Someone said, and they all looked towards the noise, and standing there was…
"Hahahahaha I got you Polly!" Trucy laughed.
"Got ya!" said Athena, who was standing next to Trucy.
"W-What!? Trucy! What is going on?!" shouted an angry Phoenix.
"Fine, I'll tell you!" Trucy said, bouncing up and down. "So, Athena, Pearl, and I decided to prank Apollo! So, we made a huge maze, and used a helicopter to take Apollo's bed and drop it here, with him still attached! So then Athena thought, 'what if we pranked lots of people?' and so here you all are. Wasn't that funny?" Trucy said, very quickly. She had a huge grin plastered on her face.
"I thought it was pretty funny." Said Athena, her hand out in a victory pose.
"W-WHAT!?" Apollo yelled, his eyes bugging out.
"But… hmm… somebody's missing." Athena said, fingering her earing.
"We split off from some others, like Edgeworth and Blackquill, if that's what you mean." Phoenix said.
"No, we picked them up already. Uncle Edgeworth was much quicker on the uptake than you, daddy. Ah! I've got it! Where's Matt Engarde?" Trucy asked, bouncing once again.
Phoenix suddenly stopped.
"Where's John Doe?"
Everyone stopped and looked around.
"Who's John Doe?" Trucy asked. "I didn't put whoever that is into here."
Phoenix jolted back, Godot clutched his mask, and Apollo's antennae drooped down.
"T-then you mean that was-" Apollo started, but Phoenix cut him off.
"Trucy, did you see a man with a scar running down his face anywhere?" Phoenix asked.
"Oh, him! Yeah, he actually went over the hedge. He's a very good climber!" Trucy said. "Hmm… I wonder if I could climb with Mr. Hat… Anyway, for some reason he didn't take his jacket with him. Actually, now that I look at it, that ketchup stain is really awful."
"What ketchup stain?" Godot asked.
"Yes, Godot, I know you can't see red on white." Said a Phoenix with coffee now all over him. "Anyway, that coat seems familiar, but I can't remember where from. Oh well."
"Okay, I think that most everything has been explained, except for one: where you got the money to do this, 2: Why you did it to everyone, and 3: Who is Dahlia? Scientifically speaking, of course." Said Ema, adjusting her forensic-ing glasses.
"About time someone noticed. Honestly, you're all idiots." Dahlia said, flipping her hair.
"Isn't it obvious? It's Pearl Fey. Honestly." Kristoph Gavin said.
"Ja, that makes sense." Said Klavier.
Where the heck did Kristoph come from? Apollo wondered, but he decided not to give him any attention.
"Well, I guess I'll be going." Dahlia smirked, and she was gone. In her stead was a one Pearl Fey dressed as Maya.
"Haha! We got them, didn't we!" Pearl laughed.
"Also, to answer your first question, take a look!" Trucy giggled, pulled out her magic panties, and grabbed out of them, a wallet. A wallet with an attorneys badge on it. Phoenix's wallet.
"My poor credit card…" Phoenix sighed.
And they all escaped from the maze, thanks to the helicopter that Trucy rented. (of course from Phoenix's credit card)
And in the end, nobody got in trouble, because Phoenix is bad at this sort of thing.