Well, seemed like they all had their regrets.
Some more than the others.
Harvey for his part was the most regretful of them all; he was feeling like such an ass that he even forgot that he needed to get home to see how his brother was doing. After all, at that moment, another little brother needed him; one to whom he'd been extra hurtful.
He owed Mike a lot; way more than a simple apology and not just because the kid had given his brother a new chance at life. Yes, he owed the kid a huge apology for being a bastard to him when the whole time he hadn't even deserved it; but it really didn't matter that he'd been the one giving Marcus his kidney; Harvey had a lot to make up to Mike for, anyway and he just hoped he hadn't lost his chance and he hoped Mike would forgive him for the things he'd said and done.
He still couldn't get it, though; Mike had never seen Marcus; he hadn't even told the younger man much about his brother. So, how had Mike found out about his illness and why had he given up on one of his vital organs to save a total stranger's life? Well, of course he'd done it for Harvey; and what had Harvey done? He'd been the biggest bastard in the history of New York City. And he hadn't been that way just when he was worried for Marcus; he'd been hurtful and nasty even when he'd heard Marcus would be alright; before and after surgery and he couldn't find an excuse that wouldn't sound lame even to his own ears.
What could he say to Mike? To the man who'd save his brother's life and hadn't asked for anything in return and hadn't uttered a word about it.
He hadn't even once talked back, no matter how nasty Harvey's comments got. Not even when Harvey practically insulted his grandmother. Damn, he was super ashamed for that one. And Donna was right, too; he'd told the kid he had no one and had rubbed it in his face and damn damn damn, Mike had been all alone and he still gave up on his health and everything to help him. Mike had gone through everything, alone and that morning he'd yelled at him and called him a traitor. What did that make him?
Hadn't he also told Mike to go back to wherever he'd been the last two weeks? Man, Karma was a bitch; now, Mike was actually back where he'd been and... Shit, Harvey suddenly remembered something else...
And apparently Donna's train of thought had reached the same point, because she suddenly blurted out, "O my God. You pushed him. He just had a surgery, that's why he was so weak and fell to the ground. You pushed him and he hit his back. Oh shit, Harvey. That's why he has internal bleeding." Her eyes filled with tears; she wasn't trying to accuse Harvey or anything; she was just stating the fact.
Harvey, who was now with Donna at the hospital's entrance, couldn't take it anymore and before he knew it, his fist went towards the brick wall and hit it hard; once, twice and then Donna was there, stopping him.
"Enough. You think hurting yourself will help Mike? Snap out of it." An angry Donna said, with tears shinning in the corner of her eyes, pulling him towards the door.
Harvey was dazed; he couldn't even feel the pain in his hand, because the pain in his heart was way stronger. He couldn't believe the sort of pain he'd deliberately caused the kid he'd begun to love like his own brother. He'd caused him emotional and physical pain and hadn't even felt ashamed at the time.
Donna was right; right then, he really didn't deserve Mike's devotion; but for the moment, he needed to make sure Mike would be alright physically; and then he'd work on the emotional part. He'd grovel for the rest of his life if he had to, to get Mike's absolution. He owed him that much and then he owed him more because Mike had practically given his brother a new life.
How could he ever repay Mike? Yes, he knew Mike wouldn't want anything back and that, practically, had been the reason why he hadn't said a word, thus, their current predicament; but Harvey couldn't just pretend it hadn't happened, and he could never forgive himself for putting Mike back in the hospital.
Right when he thought he was finally free from hospital visits, he was back in them; this time having no one but himself to blame for it.
"Mr. Spector?" Harvey turned around at the familiar voice, seeing Marcus' doctor walking towards him and Donna; they'd asked to see Mike's doctor just a couple of minutes earlier.
"So I see you've finally found out about what your associate did for you. I gotta admit, I'm surprised; that young man did everything possible to make sure you wouldn't find out. He went through all the necessary tests and sessions at night so he wouldn't miss work." The doctor didn't know how his every word was like a punch in Harvey's gut.
Harvey was feeling sick in the stomach; Mike had done that and he'd yelled at him for missing just two weeks of work and even that hadn't been for personal reasons and two weeks were nowhere near what his body really needed after a surgery like that.
"How's he?" He asked the doctor, hoarsely.
"You're his next of kin, right? I need you to sign his papers. I'm afraid we have to take him back to the OR. He's bleeding internally and is showing signs of infection. He's gone into shock. Let's pray it's not too late to save him. He's one exceptional young man."
"You have no idea." Harvey said with a hint of shame and sadness in his voice.
Donna was suddenly in front of him with forms to sign; Harvey reached out to grab the pen, silently thanking God for the redhead.
The moment the doctor's eyes landed on Harvey's broken fingers his eyes widened. "Who won?"
"Who won that fight? You or the wall?" The older man could imagine what had happened.
"Oh. It's nothing." Harvey looked at his bruised and bloodied knuckles.
"I'm afraid you're wrong. I'll tell a nurse to have one of the ER doctors take care of that hand for you; it'll keep your mind busy while we work on Mike."
"I'll make sure he behaves." Donna vowed.
"I'll hold you to it."
"And you make sure Mike will survive." Donna demanded in return.
"We'll do our best." The doctor promised before leaving the pair alone.
The surgery took about two hours, but it was successful. They managed to stop the bleeding and gave Mike blood to replace the lost amount and started to closely monitor his lungs, heart and remaining kidney; saying that in his weak condition, infection could spread faster in his body and if it hit his kidney, there'd be no way to save it since he only had one, now.
That had only added to Harvey's guilt, of course; he was pretty sure if one could die of guilt, he would've died about, at least, 20 times, just that day.
And then there was the fact that the blood loss and shock was affecting Mike's heart. They were lucky that Donna had found him when she had; had Mike entered the fourth stage of shock, there would've been no coming back for him. Even now, with the amount of pressure on his heart and remaining kidney, they were worried he wouldn't make it.
But from then on, they just had to wait and see.
Eventually, Donna forced Harvey to go home when Marcus called her, worried that something had happened to his brother that he hadn't gone back home.
Harvey wasn't sure whether he should tell his brother about Mike or not; but decided not to do so, since he didn't want Marcus to feel guilty, too. After all, Mike was now in the hospital, fighting for his life and in danger of renal failure, merely weeks after giving one of his kidneys to Harvey's younger brother; Marcus would probably feel terrible over the whole thing and would blame himself; whereas the blames was solely on Harvey.
So Harvey kept quiet about Mike with Marcus and even during his check-up visit at the hospital, they kept the whole thing hidden from him.
It was three days later when the doctor announced that Mike was finally out of the woods; his kidney was functioning well and his heart was beating stronger each day.
The only problem was the mild case of pneumonia that had set in due to Mike being unable to cough or move around and since he was starting to wake up after the doctor lessened the dosage of his sedative, they were hopeful that Mike would quickly overcome that problem, too.
Now the pain was another story. Because of the internal bleeding, the infection, and eventually the second surgery, the area around the incision was slightly inflamed and extremely painful; even the painkillers didn't completely erase the lines of pain and discomfort from around Mike's mouth and eyes.
It was another two days before he was coherent enough to hold a conversation or to realize what had happened to him.
"I've gone through so many conversations with you in my head, while you were taking your long naps; but now that you're actually awake, I can't come up with anything. I hate you for that." Said Donna one afternoon as she sat by Mike's side, holding his hand.
"Oh, please. Not back to 'huh', again. You came out of it just this morning." She whined.
"I really don't know what you're talking about." Mike tried to be more articulate.
Rolling her eyes, she said, "I'm talking about the conversations I had in my head with you, over you keeping this" she pointed to Mike's side that was up against a pillow, "all to yourself. I'm talking about you doing what you did, in the first place. Mike... You're... You're unbelievable."
"You saying I shouldn't have done that?"
"Yes. No. I don't know." She sighed with frustration. "No, that's not what I mean; that was very noble of you to do it and to keep it from Harvey. But first of all, you gotta work on being a bit less nice; not around me of course, you can be nice around me all you want." She added with a smirk. "But seriously, you need to think of yourself, too."
Mike just rolled his eyes. "I do."
"Yeah, right." Donna snorted. Everyone who knew Mike, knew he rarely did things for himself; he was always thinking of someone else when he did things; his Grammy, Trevor, Jenny, Harvey, Donna, Rachel, a client; hell, a total stranger. He apparently couldn't help it. Shaking her head, she continued with her speech, "Whatever. Second thing is that you gotta work on your talking skills. OK, let's say I get why you didn't want Harvey to know; but why didn't you say anything to me, Mike? I could've been there for you. I would've been there. You didn't have to go through everything alone. I'm sure it must've been hell and then you came back to work like 3 months early and kept working and... God, Mike I so wanna hit you right now." She was clearly distressed as she was going through the past few days in her head. "You scared me so much. Scared Harvey, too." She added quietly and then gently hugged Mike.
"I'm alright, Donna." Mike weakly tried to reassure the redhead.
"Yes and Louis just became the managing partner." Donna deadpanned. "You're not fine, Mike Ross, and this could've been easily prevented. What if I haven't found you? What if you've passed out at home and nobody knew where you were? You could've died."
"OK, what do you want me to say? Sorry? Because I'm not." Mike was really tired and not just physically.
"No." All the fight suddenly left Donna. "No, you have nothing to be sorry about. We, on the other hand..." She trailed off and sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't have your back; maybe if I had, you would've told me, huh?"
Mike shook his head. "You don't have anything to be sorry about, either, Donna. Harvey was a bastard to you, too."
"I was." Harvey's voice from the doorway startled them both and Mike winced at the sudden movement.
Donna stood up. "I gotta go get a real coffee. You-" she looked at Harvey, "behave. And you-" she turned back to look at Mike "Be your adorable self for now, Puppy. I'll be back." She kissed him on the cheek.
"You don't have to-"
"Shut up." Donna said firmly and smirked when Mike quickly closed his mouth. "Good boy." She smiled. "You've been alone long enough. Now it's time I smothered you with care. That's your punishment for ruining my reputation of knowing-everything."
Mike raised his eyebrows, but wisely kept quiet and watched as she left his room.
Harvey then walked in closer and sat down. "How're you feeling today?"
"I'm OK, I guess." Mike replied. "How's your brother?"
"Doing great. Thanks to you." Harvey answered just as curtly. He had no idea how to do this. "Listen, Mike. I'm sorry."
Mike bit his lip, but didn't say anything.
"About the things I said and the way I treated you. I would've eventually pulled my head out of my ass, but this did it for me." The older lawyer sighed. "The things I said to you during these past weeks... I... I'm especially sorry about what I said about Grammy. It was way out of line and the moment I said it I was regretting it. And then I pushed you... I swear I didn't mean to do that; and I had no idea you were... Well, normally that wouldn't have shaken you."
Mike nodded, knowing that Harvey was right, but it didn't mean he had the right to physically push him.
"I still shouldn't have done that." Harvey seemed to be thinking the same way. "I'm sorry and extremely thankful. I wish I knew so I could-"
"It's OK. Didn't want you to know." Mike sighed and before Harvey could open his mouth to say more, he said, "I'm not saying it's alright for you to act like a total douchbag for no reason; I know I haven't done anything wrong and yet you kept pushing my buttons. I don't know why you did it, maybe you were looking for a fight or something, but I could at least understand it was all because you were scared for your brother's health. What I can't understand is why you were still a dick after he got the kidney."
Harvey nodded his head. "I've been asking myself the same question. The truth is, I seem unable to shake off the fear of losing Marcus. It's... It's-"
"Harvey." Mike called and his eyes were full of understanding. "I get it. I'm the one who recently lost the only person he had left in this world, remember?" His tone wasn't accusing; it seemed like he was just deeply sad about it.
Harvey cringed, remembering his own words about that fact. "And you never became a dick."
"I screwed up another way. We all have our own ways, I guess." Mike shrugged slightly.
"I'm just sorry, kid."
"Ok. Thanks." Mike nodded his head.
"I know I can't really make it up to you that easily." Harvey wasn't done and he quietly vowed that he'd be there and help Mike until the kid was back to perfectly healthy and then he'd keep a watchful eye to make sure nothing would jeopardize his health; unlike what he'd said, Mike wasn't alone. "And about what you did for my brother;" He added after a few seconds. "I can never repay you for that. You didn't owe me anything that big, Mike. Why did you do that?"
"You see, that's why I didn't want you to know." Mike shook his head and closed his eyes briefly. "You don't owe me, Harvey. And I didn't do it because I felt I was in your debt; I know you don't like to use this particular word, but I did what I did because I saw a friend in need and I could help out. I'd do it all over again if we went back in time. "
"Mike, paying someone's bills or lending them money is helping a friend out. Not giving up on your vital organs. Not going through so much pain and problem for them."
"Different ideas of the same thing. That's your definition of friendship. This is mine. Deal with it." He said tiredly and shut his eyes. Why did Harvey have to make everything so difficult? Why couldn't he get that not everything was about Money or favors?
Harvey swallowed hard. "I don't deserve this much from you, Mike."
Mike opened his eyes and stared at the older man with disbelief; he'd never heard so much emotion in his voice; not even when he'd talked about his parents when they were both high. "Harvey; you're not one to decide about that. If someone values his friendship with you that much and thinks you deserve a break from all the worry and pain, then you just take it and say thanks. That's it."
It was times like this that showed Harvey how much Mike's hard life had affected and taught him and how growing up too fast had turned him into a man way wiser than his age. "Thank you." Harvey held Mike's gaze and poured all his gratitude in his eyes. He still wasn't over his guilt and he didn't think he'd ever be; like he didn't think he'd ever be able to really repay Mike for what he'd done for him and his brother, but at least now he'd learned a valuable lesson about friendship. A true friendship was something that he hadn't had for years, except for that of Donna's, and now he was thankful for having it back and especially when the friend was someone like Mike; one couldn't wish for a better friend. Really.
"You're welcome." Mike smiled warmly.
... The END ...
A/N: OK, that's it; hope you've enjoyed this ride. Let me know what you think of this last chapter.
Thanks for all the comments, faves and alerts. They all mean a lot to me.
All mistakes are mine.