Chapter One

Kate

"It's the moments that save my life nobody knows about, like flashlights

There's just enough hope when it shines to go one scared step at a time

When the world's too dark I find your flashlight."

- Flashlight, Hunter Hayes.

The bell above the door jingles, a gust of cold air bursting through the café, all the way to the back wall where she sits. Her gaze drops from the door when she realises that it's not who she's waiting for, and she takes a deep breath.

It has only been ten minutes.

She's nervous enough as it is, but the flicker of anxiety that flares whenever someone is running late only makes the churning in her stomach worse.

She circles the band on her finger in a continuing attempt to grow accustomed to the feeling, the ring heavy and unfamiliar.

She's almost tempted to conceal it, to twist the band so that the diamond presses into her palm, but she resists, knowing she can't hide it forever. With the modest stone glinting in the light, she knows it won't go unnoticed for long. She lifts her gaze from the ring at the sound of the door, her fingers still toying with it mindlessly when she sees Alexis, waving at her with a wide smile.

She grins instantly, stunned by just how much older Alexis looks when it has only been six months. Then again, maybe it's the way she's pushing the stroller across the café with such a practised hand, appearing as if she's been doing it for years, not ten weeks.

Kate swallows, fighting back inexplicable tears that threaten to cloud her vision at the slightest glimpse of the child, grateful that she has a few moments to pull herself together before Alexis reaches the table.

"Hey," she says, embracing Alexis and kissing her cheek before looking to the baby, who sleeps soundly beside a stuffed frog.

"Sorry I'm late," Alexis says, rolling her eyes as she takes a seat. "I underestimated the time it would take to get here."

Kate grins, finding her nerves fade instantly, and she sits back down, teasing.

"Forgetting what the city is like?"

Alexis ignores her playful barb, pulling off her coat. "Elliot wanted to come, but he got roped into some conference call. It's our first day of vacation, but apparently they can't live without him, so you've just got me and Sammy."

"Sammy…"

Her eyes flit to the stroller beside the table, the child oblivious to the world and so content in his sleep, his dark hair sticking up in tufts.

"He's beautiful, Alexis," she says sincerely, caught off guard by the visions that play through her mind unwarranted, the fantasies that she let go of years ago, when she was forced to let go of him. The ones that detailed a future with kids of her own.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get across to see him when he was born."

She wonders if Alexis can hear that her tone is too purposeful, the lie inherent in the sincerity of the apology. It's grating to her own ears, but she hopes it isn't too noticeable.

She could have made it happen. She had a ticket booked and everything, but they caught a high profile case, and even though the boys were willing to cover for her, she was selfish and she took the easy way out.

Eight years later and it was too much, too hard to witness such a momentous event without him. Eight years, and she was unable to put her own grief aside and support the only person who kept her going, the one person who showed her how to have the strength to stay standing in the wake of such tragedy.

"It's okay," Alexis smiles, easy to forgive, as always. "We were already coming out here, so you were going to see him anyway."

"Yeah," she hums, somehow unable to take her eyes off the child, caught off guard by how much he looks like his grandfather. The unruly hair that sticks out defiantly, the shape of his face …

"Kate!"

Alexis is shrieking excitedly, and Kate is snapped from her reverie as she feels her hand tugged across the table.

"Tim proposed?!"

She had forgotten, distracted by Sammy and the sight of Alexis as a mother, and it takes her a moment to catch up. Alexis is staring at the ring, so enthusiastic, and Kate wonders if it's a bad sign that Alexis seems more excited than she is.

"Yeah," she confirms, pressing her lips together at the memory of the proposal.

He had been so considerate, so unbelievably Tim, taking her hand across the dinner table and asking if she'd be willing to marry him. He'd been simultaneously hesitant and confident; explaining that he wanted to face the world with her by his side, but he'd known it was a risk.

He'd known that she never planned to marry, didn't believe in the fairy tale anymore, but he had that look in his eyes, that same look he had when he first asked her out, having to clarify that it was a date. They'd been friends for a year, and he'd taken her hand and promised not to push her, vowing that he wasn't going to be scared away by the fact that she was more than a little broken. He had promised to put her back together, and even though she still has jagged edges, he's done a pretty good job. So she said yes to his proposal, just had she had the date, finding that even though the word escaped without permission, it was something she wanted – someone by her side.

"We're going to do the city hall thing," she tells Alexis. "I'm not sure when, but I'd… I'd love for you to be there."

Her heart is beating wildly in her chest as she waits for a response, but she isn't caught off guard by the intense need to have Alexis there. She knows that it's a strange relationship, one some fail to understand, but Alexis had been the one to pull her out of her grief, to show her that it was okay to let him go, and from the shared trauma formed a bond that won't break.

Once upon a time, Rick made her promise to look out for his daughter if anything happened to him, and at the time she never even considered the possibility that she would be the one needing Alexis.

"I wouldn't miss it," Alexis promises, a smile on her face. "I can't believe you didn't tell me!"

There's nothing but pure joy on her face, and Kate's cheeks darken with shame as she confesses.

"I wasn't sure how you'd take it," she admits. "I mean-"

"You should be happy, Kate," Alexis interrupts, knowing exactly where this is going and reaching across the table to squeeze her hand. "He makes you happy, I've seen it. You should have that," she says firmly, knowing that she has to be clear.

"I still miss him," Kate confesses, feeling the grief sneak up on her unexpectedly. "My heart is still his, and he's never coming back."

The tears she managed to restrain at the sight of the grandchild he'll never meet come flooding down her cheeks, and she looks to the window, embarrassed.

"Tim's in there, too, I know he is," Alexis says, coaxing her gaze back with her kind tone, and Kate snorts. He is, the bastard. He wormed his way into her heart when she wasn't looking, and now she wants to marry him.

How did that happen?

"He's a good guy," Alexis adds, and Kate exhales slowly, feeling the lingering doubts slip away. She hadn't realised that Alexis' approval was weighing on her so heavily.

"He is."

She's managed to find possibly the only man in the world who is okay with the fact that the one person she needs at their wedding is her late fiancé's daughter. A man who knows her heart will never belong entirely to him. There's no doubting his character.

Sammy wakes with a soft cry and Alexis reaches for him, as Kate tries to hide her reaction to the sight of the two-month-old's brilliant blue eyes.

"You want to hold him?" Alexis asks, not missing the look on her face, and Kate wants to decline, has the words on the tip of her tongue, but her hands are extending before her brain has a say in the matter.

"Hey, Sam," she whispers, the baby blinking up at her, and she smiles at Alexis, floored by the young woman.

"I don't know how you do it," she confesses in a small whisper. "It's like looking right at him."

She doesn't say that he looks just like the babies she envisioned she'd have when they were a part of her plan. The blue eyes, the dark hair like their father.

"Genetics," Alexis shrugs. "It's a funny thing. He got Elliot's floppy ears," she chuckles. "And his eyes, they're so serious, so-"

"Like yours," Kate finishes. "I'm so proud of you," she murmurs, unsure if it's really her place, but unable to supress the pride that swells in her chest, needing to be voiced. "I wish he'd have been here to see this."

"You are," Alexis says, smiling, as if it's enough.

She comes home to find Tim in the kitchen making some sort of stir-fry, and she smiles at him when he gives her a hesitant look.

"Everything go okay with Alexis?"

She nods slightly, coming up behind him to hug him, resting her head on his shoulders.

He hates cooking, and more often than not they'll order in, but she knows he's trying to cheer her up – a kind of preventative measure – and she loves him for it.

"She's happy for us," she reports, still a little in awe of the young woman.

He twists in her arms, an easy smile on his face.

"I told you you had nothing to worry about."

She can't reciprocate the smile, and he catches it instantly.

"If you're not sure-"

"No," she smiles, trying her best. She can't tell him that the sight of Alexis with her son, a baby that so closely resembles the children she imagined she'd have threw her off balance. She can't explain to him the conversations they used to have about the future, about not waiting to have children because they didn't want to be having kids when Alexis did.

"I want to marry you," she says, the truth of the statement undeniable.

She always thought that she'd get married once, and that would be it. She was never one to commit to something unless she was certain, and she had faith that she'd never settle for less than the fairy tale.

The mess surrounding her wedding to Castle proved her wrong, though, and then she was convinced that it didn't matter. She didn't care that he wasn't her first husband, because he was all that she'd ever dreamed of, a love she had doubted she'd ever find, and that was more than enough. She was going to marry Richard Castle, and spend the rest of her life with him, and nothing else mattered.

When she lost him, when he'd disappeared without a trace and she was forced to give up all hope of finding him, she was sure she'd never marry.

But Tim…

She loves him.

Not in the all-consuming way she loves – loved – Castle, but she does.

He's someone she's content to come home to every day, someone who loves her, too.

He's taught her that maybe that's enough.

Work is brutal.

The case they thought they'd closed the day before yesterday is reopened when a second victim is found while their suspect is in custody. At the prospect of being charged with another murder, his alibi comes out, and they're turning him over to narcotics and they're back to square one, now with two victims. To top it all off, the feds are circling, deeming their case serial due to the two victims having no connection apart from their striking physical similarities.

She curses under her breath as she reworks the murder board, realising that any hope she had of spending time with Alexis while she's in town is diminishing by the second.

But then the feds are moving, a flurry of suits and impatience, Esposito and Ryan bringing up the rear and she's following unquestioningly.

She's briefed on the way, about security cam footage picking up the same guy tailing both of the victims on crowded streets, and when they get to his apartment he has a third woman tied to a chair, a knife pressed to her neck.

He's no match for the handful of feds and team of cops that crowd the room, and she knows that the case is done. He's a mess, an amateur who slipped up, and at this point the interrogation is a mere formality. She lets the fed – Murray – take the lead, running through a textbook interrogation as Stuart Delart exercises his right to remain silent. They don't need a confession, the evidence stacked against him is more than enough to make a case, but she'd like the satisfaction of knowing that it's over, that no other surprises are going to bit them in the ass. There's an air of confidence about him that wasn't present in the shaking, mess of a man they arrested, and it makes her gut twist in quiet dread. She knows he has a plan, some way to turn the tables, but she can't fathom how it's going to get him out of this.

Then he opens his mouth, and everything changes.

"If you want to know where to find Richard Castle, you'll let me go."

A/N:

This is my first multi-chapter Castle fic. *Deep breath*.

Updates should be weekly :)

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