"Blackie?" Al suggested, radiating hope and flowers and sparkles into his poor tired brother's eyes. Al hadn't had to do Colonel Bastard's paperwork, put up with the latest round of mocking, and finally felt free of it only to be cornered again and trapped into watching Armstrong strip and sparkle while going on about the Armstrong Line, and their contributions to history.

"No. Bandit."

"No Brother, we are not naming the dog Bandit."

"He is one! He steals my food!"+

"Just because he stole your sandwich once! That was a week ago, and he was starving because someone forgot to feed him!" the armor looked reproachful.

"Hey! I was at the Library and left him with Hawkeye, and she said she'd feed him. Well what would you call it?"

"Fluffy." Ed and the dog moaned in unison.


"No Brother, we are not calling him dog. Lucky."

"Lucky's the one thing this dog isn't," Ed grumbled, thinking of the condition they'd found him in.

"I'd say he's plenty lucky," Ling cheerfully tossed in, poking his head through the window. "Just like I was, when you kind people took me in so graciously."

Ed felt like telling Ling just how kind he currently felt, but bit back the snarl. Instead he rounded on the stupid dog with its fuzzy black head taking up space in Al's lap. "Hunter?"

"Brother… Tabby?"

"Mayhem?" the dog's ears pricked up. Ed wished it'd shown that much taste when he suggested the good ones, like Gargoyle. It was totally badass, why didn't the dog see that?

"No." How could armour be so good at the pleading look? "Kit?"

"You're using cat names aren't you?"

The armor looked sheepish.

Ling, who hadn't gone away, even though Ed had hoped ignoring him would get the point across, suggested something vaguely musical sounding.

"What the hell does that even mean?" Ed exclaimed.

Ling seemed to think, probably about how stupid a word he could pretend it actually was. Ed tried to give him Teacher's best 'disobey me and suffer in mindless agony as I kill you slowly' glare. Ling shrank a little, before answering. "Marauder."

The dog's ears pricked up and he wagged his tail, clanging it off Al's legs.

"He likes Marauder." Ed remarked, too tired to even argue anymore.

"Brother, we are not naming a dog Marauder either." The dog drooped.

"Obsidian?" Ed suggested tiredly, thinking of the fur.

"NO." The dog hid its face in its paws.

"Carbon?" the dog growled.


"No. Night?" Al was radiating hope and sparkles again. That just wasn't fair, especially when a dog like that needed a nice, strong, menacing and wild name, not something like Night, which was weak and fluffy.

He sat up and glared. "Al, are you serious?"

The dog lifted its head and barked enthusiastically. The gate was laughing again.

"Fang?" Ling offered. "It sounds nicely fearsome, like his master's temper!" Great, he was in that evil cheery mood that meant his ninja guards kicked him out for being up to something.

Well, Edward Elric wasn't going to enable him in whatever the hell it was! "Get out of our room, you dammed moocher!" He planted a knee in the Idiot Prince's face, and slammed the window shut behind him.

"Brother," Al sighed, "Are you sure you should be throwing him around like that? What if he gets hurt?"

Ed flopped back into his nice, soft, transmuted to be extra cushy chair. Would anyone mind if he took it with him when they left East City? "Nah, it's Ling. He'll be fine."


"We are not naming a dog after Colonel Bastard!"


Ed and the dog gave Al an incredulous look. Silence fell for a bit, and then Ed said with a note of finality, "Chaos." The dog got up and walked over to him.

"Fine." Al said, sulking a little.

A.N: To everyone who asked me for the promised Omake, sorry if this isn't what you hoped for, but I lost the file, then injured my hands. My Wonderful Beta finally found an old copy of the original notes for it, and a few dialog snippets, but between my hands and my numerous health issues, fleshing that old version out was all I could manage. I apologize for the lateness of this post.

Edit- yes, this story is complete. It was complete, it is still complete, and there will be no more posts to it. This note is addressed to the exceedingly rude guest who has just had his review deleted.