I awake from a sound coming from my door.
It is a soft knock, but nothing more.
My head felt heavy, my limbs worse.
Every step took effort.
I walked towards the door and see my glasses on the table from last night.
Shattered they are now, broken like my soul.
I am empty, no longer a whole person.
I hear the knock again, and it is late at the moment once again.
I am near the door, wondering who could it be.
I hear the soft, but familiar deep voice.
My heart hammers against my chest and I press the button to let it open.
It is him.
Spock, well like he was on the bridge.
"Jim, do not grieve."
I try to answer him but my voice is silent. Why can't I speak?
He enters my quarters, his face serious like I have always known him.
Again I try to say something but I mutter not a sound.
He comes near me, his eyes seem vacant. His voice now monotone.
"I have been, and always shall be your friend."
Hearing those words again made my throat tighten forming a lump, my tears well up. Will I ever get past this. Is this for real?"
He opens his arms to me when we couldn't when the glass separated us.
I hold him tight, and never wish to let go.
"I love you Jim."
My tears fall shamelessly down my cheeks as my heart fills with joy.
Spock loves me.
I try to respond back but I am mute.
The man I hold in my arms feels so soft, but strong.
Than slowly, I begin to feel less of that strong body next to me.
Moments later, all I have in my arms is my pillow drenched in tears.
My knuckles white as I grip the pillow case.
He was never here.
But it was so real.