A/N: Post series, obviously. We'll say it's fairly soon after Josh and Donna get back from Hawaii. So, this was inspired by someone I talked to at work today whose last name was Welfair and I immediately thought Josh would think it was hilarious. Thus this sprang to mind.
Not Welfare as in Welfare
"MARGARET!" Josh bellowed as he looked over the President's daily schedule.
Margaret walked into the office and gave Josh a stony stare. "You called?"
"Still not a fan of the yelling?" Josh asked with a wince.
"Is anyone, really?" Margaret asked.
"Donna never minded," Josh told her.
"Sure, she didn't," Margaret said dryly. "Did you need something?"
"Did Donna tell you she didn't like the yelling?" Josh asked worriedly.
"I'm not at liberty to discuss private conversations, thank you. But there are studies that show yelling or speaking at highly elevated volumes can—"
"Margaret," Josh interrupted with a sigh. "Ronna spelled welfare wrong on the President's schedule. And why is there even a meeting on Welfare Reform on his schedule? That should come to my desk first, not his."
"No, she didn't."
"Didn't what?" He asked Margaret in a tired tone.
"Spell it wrong, and it's not a meeting it's a photo op," Margaret told him.
Josh furrowed his brow at her. "Since when is welfare spelled w-e-l-f-a-i-r? And is a Welfare Reform meeting something that deserves a photo op?"
"No, not welfare as in welfare. Welfair as in the Congressman," Margaret stated plainly.
Josh froze while shuffling papers on his desk. "I'm sorry. We have a Congressman named Welfair?"
"Yes, he's on Ways and Means."
"And his last name is Welfair?" Josh asked in disbelief.
Josh laughed loudly for a long moment but stopped when he noticed Margaret blinking owlishly at him. "Oh, come on! That's funny! A Democratic Congressman named Welfair? You don't think that's even a little funny?"
"It's his name," Margaret said with a shrug.
"Yes, and that name is Welfair!" She blinked at him again and he huffed. "Get out. Go back to your desk and…type something."
"Okay, you have Senior Staff in ten."
He nodded at her and then picked up his phone. He dialed a familiar extension and waited for someone to pick up.
"Donna Moss's Office."
"Darcy, it's Josh Lyman. Is she in?"
"She has East Wing staff in ten minutes," Darcy said sternly.
"Okay," Josh said with an awkward pause. "But she's available now?"
"Yes, but she won't be in ten minutes."
"Right, thanks for the advance notice. Can you put me through to her, please?" He asked with forced patience. There was a sudden click and then another ring.
He'd never been happier to hear another person's voice and he didn't think that would change. He'd wasted enough time during the Russell Campaign pretending he didn't need her. He wasn't going to do that anymore.
"Your assistant is truly a delight."
Donna laughed. "Have you been giving her a hard time again?"
"Have I been—I am the victim here! She's the one who—nevermind. Not what I called about," He said as he stopped to take a deep calming breath. "Did you know there's a Congressman named Welfair on Ways and Means?"
"Congressman named—Josh I am not that gullible. Do you really think I'm going to fall for—"
"Go ahead. Look him up. Ways and Means. Congressman Welfair. W-e-l-f-a-i-r."
He heard keyboard keys clicking and a long pause before she gasped. "Oh my God! This is a campaign we should have been aware of! Josh! A democratic Congressman named Welfair? That's comedy gold!"
"This is what I'm saying!" Josh exclaimed. "Can you imagine the campaign slogan?"
Donna laughed loudly through the phone and Josh couldn't help but laugh with her. Mostly because he loved her laugh.
"What if there were other Congressmen named for issues? Like education reform, social security, Medicaid—"
"Congressman Medicaid has a nice ring to it. Let's find one of those," Josh said with a grin.
Donna chuckled. "How did you find this guy?"
"The President has a photo op with him this morning. I saw it on the schedule and thought Ronna misspelled Welfare," Josh explained.
"Too funny. Did you tell Margaret?"
"She didn't get it. It was very disappointing."
Donna laughed again.
"She did say something interesting though…"
"Oh yeah?" Donna asked curiously.
"She seemed to be under the impression that you didn't like the yelling," Josh stated hesitantly.
"You mean the Donna Call?" She asked.
"Is that what you call it?" Josh asked with a grin.
"There were rare moments when it wasn't appreciated but they were few and far between. Typically, as long as I could throw it right back at you I was fine," Donna answered honestly. "But I wouldn't train Margaret to do that."
"Why not?" Josh asked curiously.
"She can get very involved, Josh. Think about what you remember of her with Leo or CJ. Do you want to combine that with what you remember of me?" Donna asked him teasingly.
"Oh God no," Josh said in a horrified tone.
"That's what I thought," Donna said with a laugh.
"So no yelling for Margaret. Ever," Josh said in a decisive tone.
"Good," Donna said. "It should be our thing."
"You want yelling to be our thing?" Josh asked with a smirk.
"Have you ever known us not to yell?"
He laughed and shook his head. "God, I love you." He winced and his grip tightened on the phone as the silence stretched out between them.
"You what?" Donna asked.
He pounded a fist on his desk and bit back a pained yell. "No!"
"No?" Donna asked.
"I meant no, I did not say that for the first time over the phone at work," He explained.
"You didn't?" Donna asked with an amused voice.
"No, I will, however, say it over dinner tonight," Josh offered hopefully.
"In that case, maybe I'll not say it now and wait to say it at dinner too. I like that plan," Donna said with, what sounded to Josh, like joy. He could understand. He felt it too.
"There will be music and candlelight. Just you and me and…my Secret Service detail," Josh said with a bright smile.
Donna laughed. It was a perfect laugh. At least he thought so.
"Me and you and two guys in suits?" She asked rhetorically. "How romantic."