Title: Where The Snow Falls

Author: Tally

Rating: PG-13

Summary: "You don't have to hurt anymore. You don't have to push yourself anymore, because if you keep pushing yourself, if you keep beating yourself up, you will be killing yourself for all eternity."



Rocking back and forth quietly in the corner of her own mind the girl steps lightly off the newly shoveled path onto the thick layer of pure white snow. The snow was still pure here, so pure it would make even the cleanest white silk seem gray. But the purity was over shadowed by the glooming black shadow of the girl and the stationary grey shadows of the thousands of stone heads.

"Welcome back." The voices dance in her head.

She falls farther into her corner. Put up the shield thinking 'block it from mind, block it from mind' but the voices keep coming after every passing head.

"Forgive me, I am looking for… a friend." Her voice trails off with the word friend for she can feel it tugging at her soul, unstably trying to separate itself from this life. "Forgive me."

Her pace quickens slightly as the voices back away. She turns left at the frozen statue of a baby angel and her pace slows once more. The foot steps stop and she looks back to see the prints disappearing in the long carpet of powder that still falls around her. Her arms, instinctively, wrap around her body and she continues her steps.

The day seemed so gentle, peaceful, with no sun but grey skies that only blend with the snow falling to rest upon the earth. It was a prefect day, and yet a heavy shadow only could get heavier upon her journeying body as her beating heart grew faster, echoing through the quiet snow.

"Stop." She stops closing her eyes to the sound of the voice. "What are you doing here?"

She does not answer, at first, but turns in the ice snow to face the stone head that spoke to her.

"Tally, why do you come here?"

She tilts her head tugging playfully at her frayed scarf with shame "I. . . I had to see him."

"Tally, his name may be on that stone, but within it there is no soul, and you know that. . ."

"I know."

"All you do it torment yourself."

Tally looks to the next stone over. There is silence between the three.

"I have to talk to him." She keeps walking as the stone heads call out to her telling her to stop. 'Sorry James, sorry Lily.'

Only a few stones down, she stops. She kneels. She places her head against the cold stone and traces the name with her fingers. There were moments of silence that passed as the snow melted through her pants freezing her legs though she did not notice.

"I'm sorry Sirius." Her whisper could have been heard for miles. "I'm sorry for not saving you, I'm sorry for not warning you, I'm sorry. . ." Tears trail down her face and fall to the snow leaving their mark. "I'm sorry for lying to you, I'm sorry for everything. Your soul is lost, I should have been their, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I. . ."

"Love you."

In a moment, her eyes snapped open, she rises to her feet, spins around. . . and slips in the ice. Her body falls back towards the stone that meets the back of her head in a collision that jolts her out of her corner. Her body lies motionless on the shattered ice that once lay beneath her feet, staining the white with her spilt blood pouring from her cracked skull.

A white world of only snow that fell from the clouds than disappeared before it could hit the ground, Tally stood there. Wind blowing but she felt no cold, she felt nothing.


Her eyes widen, a bright light fills the space and everything disappears. She floats there.

"Tally, you don't have to hurt anymore," his voice echoes in the space. Tally can feel his back against hers and his fingers lacing through hers. "You don't have to. . ."

"But I could have done something. I was there, right th. . ."

"When are you going to forgive yourself?"

Tally grows quiet and looks at the white space below her. She squeezes his hand. He also looks down, and smiles sadly.

"You don't have to push yourself anymore, because if you keep pushing yourself, if you keep beating yourself up, you will be killing yourself for all eternity. You need to let me go."

"I can't let you go."

Tally is shocked, and rather annoyed, as Sirius begins to laugh at her words. She could feel his body shacking against hers and found herself growing sad and gripping to him harder. He stops laughing.

"You don't have to let go of me. . ." He pauses "You need to forget what happened and stop blaming yourself."

She remains silent and just listens to the echo of his voice, trying to remember how it sounds.

"Tally," She turns her head, unable to see him but able to hear him better, "I'm sorry you had to die because of me."

Tally is shocked but quickly comes to her self and sighs, looking forward.

"So. . . I am dead. . ."

"You. . . you hit your head on my tomb when you slipped. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have spoken."

"You saved me. I couldn't stand living anymore, and you speaking; my slipping; you saved me."

It was Sirius' turn to grow quiet and he did it well. He remained quiet for a few moments, long enough for Tally to grow stressful.

"It was not my meaning to hurt you by speaking to you."

"Heh, I know, but still. . ." She can not think of what to say.

"Maybe, I should be the one to apologize." He whispered with a grin.

"No, saving someone is nothing to apologize for."

"Hm. . ." He nods and they both go quiet again. "Tally,"

She turns her head, still unable to see him.

"I love you. Goodbye."

Tally is caught by surprise and lets for of him as she spins around. "What, Sirius, wai. . ."

He was gone.

The snow is back and nobody stands before her, just an empty, lonely world of nothing but snow. She sits upon the ground, looking around her sadly, and pulls her knees up close hugging them. Her head rests upon her knees, looking into her lap, lonely.


Tally's body was found thirteen days later. By than Tally was for sure dead. Her body, by request of an anonymous letter received by the funeral director from a black dog ¬.¬… Tally was buried next to Sirius' grave. Her tomb read, "She never said it but he always knew, and he felt the same. Once loved but always lost."