"God dammit it is way too hot!" Gilbert yelled, flopping onto his couch, fanning himself.

"I agree…"Antonio sighed and sipped on his cold iced tea.

"Oui…" Francis sighed, flipping through his magazine.

"Dude, why aren't you sweating?" Gilbert asked Francis.

"Hmm? Oh, a lady never sweats!"

"You're a dude…"

"Well a gentlemen never sweats then"

"Or maybe you just numbed your sweat glands with Botox injections." Gilbert whispered to Antonio and Francis just sighed.

"Mon ami you know how much I hate plastic surgery. I believe everyone is beautiful naturally. Some light make up will do. No need to stuff your body with silicon to impress someone. If they truly love you they'll accept you as who you are not for what you look like~"

"Yeah man," Gilbert grinned "I know, and I think that it's beautiful …don't tell anyone I said that….I was just messing with you!" Gilbert ruffled Francis's hair which made Francis scream and jump.


Gilbert and Antonio just laughed.

"Oh I have an idea! Let's go to the beach!" Antonio chirped.

"YOU ARE A GENIUS!" Gilbert yelled as he went to ask Ludwig to pack for their trip.

After an excruciating car ride, well it was for Antonio, with Gilbert and Francis blasting Spice Girls and singing along, they finally reached the beach. Antonio ran out of the car and kissed the pavement, thanking god the ride was over.

Gilbert snickered and snapped a pic before helping Francis with the stuff.

"Let's go then chers~" Francis winked at them, carrying his chair and massive collection of skin care products.

Francis sat up their spot while Antonio and Gilbert went and played in the ocean, splashing water on each other. Francis sighed and yelled for them to come over.

"Alright remember the rules? One, no disturbing me while I sleep,"

"Two, don't play pranks on you while your asleep." Gilbert groaned. "We get it mom."

Francis gasped. "Don't use that tone with me young man. What's the last one?"

"You're fabulous?" Antonio asked.

"No…well yes I am fabulous as fuck but the third rule is….wait what was it again?" Gilbert snorted.

"Can we go now Franny?" Francis nodded and the two took off.

"Man I want to get back at Franny…..but how?" Gilbert muttered.

"Well we could clamp his nipples with these crabs I caught." Antonio raised two red crabs he was holding.

"Genius!' Gilbert exclaimed.

The two crept up on their sleeping friend, both holding a crab. The two knelt on either sides of Francis, Gilbert caught glimpse of a bottle and hatched another idea.

"Dude," he whispered "we can draw stuff on Franny with the sunblock!" He exclaimed excitedly. Antonio nodded and grabbed the bottle.

Gilbert drew a picture of a dick while Antonio wrote 'If found please do not return' on his back.

The two then raised their crabs and moved them closer to Francis's nipples….closer…..closer ….and…


Francis screamed and jumped straight up and started running, pulling the crabs off his nipples. Gilbert and Antonio were too busy laughing to notice Francis pulling them off and charging towards them. The two screamed and ran around the beach before Francis caught them and clipped their nipple with the claws of the crabs.

A/N:Pretty sucky yeah I know….Ugh I wanna update but I have slight writers block. I want to make this entertaining for y'all…. ;-; Enjoy the REALLY SHORT bonus for the UsUk fans as apology for lack of writing.

Bonus! (UsUk)

"Fuck! why the fuck are they here?!" Arthur whispered harshly lifting his book higher to cover his face, "If they see us we're dead!" He hissed.

Alfred raised an eyebrow and looked to the direction Arthur was looking at and beamed at the people he saw.

"It's Gil and the others! Let's call them over! HEY GI-" Arthur had clamped his hands on Alfred's lips before he could call them.

"You dolt! If they see us they'll know about US!" Arthur reasoned. Alfred gently pried Arthur's hand off his mouth before continuing.

"As if babe. They probably already know, you're always loud when we have a quickie in the meeting room when they were on break. They were probably listening through the door." Alfred smirked.

"Speaking of quickies, you want to do it in the changing room right now? Not my fault I have a boner because you look illegally sexy in those shorts~" Alfred wiggled his brows.

Arthur's face went scarlet red before hitting Alfred with his thick book.