ARBRON: Hello, I'm Arbron, your friendly neighbourhood Andalite/Narrator. SW has decided to write a Harry Potter script, somewhat reminiscent of her Animorph ones. And since I'm doing such a good job narrating those fics, I've been employed over here.

SW: I was bored, okay?? I had an hour in the computer lab at school and NOTHING to do! I just finished this chapter.

Ron, What ARE You Doing???

ARBRON: Harry, Hermione, Fred, George, Ginny and Lavender were sitting around in the Gryffindor Common Room. They were trying to work out what Ron was doing.

HARRY: Er, Ron? What are you doing?

RON: Nothing much, Harry. Wheeeeeeee!!!

HERMIONE: (Raises eyebrow) What IS he doing?

FRED: I sure as hell don't know!

GEORGE: Me either.

GINNY: I always knew that Ron was a nutcase.

HERMIONE & HARRY: (nods) Me too!

DRACO (Walks into the room) Ah hah! I knew you'd realize that I was right someday!

HARRY: Well, it was kinda hard to miss.

DRACO: I can see that.

LAVENDER: I'm not surprised. (Rolls eyes)

DRACO: I think I'm going to be sick.

HARRY: Me too.

HERMIONE: Harry, you just agreed with Malfoy....

HARRY & DRACO: So what???

SEAMUS: (wanders down from the dorm room) What exactly is Ron doing that has you all so upset anyway?

DEAN: (Enters behind Seamus) Yeah? I didn't know Ron had it in him to do...whatever it is that he's doing.

RON: Lalalalalalalalala!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LAVENDER: (Blinks rapidly) What the hell is going on here???

SNAPE: (Enters the Common Room sneering nastily) That's a very good question Miss Brown. Ten points from Gryffindor.

LAVENDER: What for???

SNAPE: Using your brain.

HARRY: Professor Snape, what are you doing in the Gryffindor Common Room?

SNAPE: (Looks around in shock) I am??? (Screams) Nooooooo!!!!!!!! (Runs out still screaming.)

DRACO: I think he was looking for me. (Shrugs) Well I don't care; your Common Room is a lot nicer than ours. I'd much rather stay here.

HERMIONE: What??? NO!!! Not happening, no way, not at all!

HARRY: Ignore her, I don't care.

DRACO: Thank you Potter.

HARRY: No problem Malfoy.

DRACO: So, what are we going to do about Weasley?

GEORGE: Are you offering to help?

DRACO: Well, the way I see it, he's going to be a hazard to all of Hogwarts soon. All I want to do is stay alive - and sane.

FRED: Fair enough. Do you think we'll be able to get help from outside the school?

DRACO: Well.....somehow I don't think Voldemort is planning on SAVING the school, if you know what I mean.

HARRY: I think I know of someone we can count on.

ARBRON: Harry sent an owl to those people, and after a few minutes of everyone watching Ron in shock and horror, they arrived.

SIRIUS: (Practically bounds into the room) Hello boys and girls - (Skids to a halt) what the hell???

REMUS: (Runs into Sirius) Ow! What did you stop for you moron?!?!?!?!? (Sees Ron) Oh no....we're doomed! Again!

SIRIUS: I'd have bet that it would've been Harry! I mean, after....

REMUS: No, I think it was Wormtail's influence.

SIRIUS: (Nods) And Ron did keep Wormy as a pet...

HERMIONE: So? What's going on?

HARRY: What is Ron doing?

DRACO: And why is he doing it?

SIRIUS: (Glances at Remus) It's kind of hard to explain.

REMUS: (Rolls eyes) Only to those with no brain.

DRACO: (Sarcastically) Then I'm sure you'll be able to help then.

HARRY: Malfoy! What did I tell you???

DRACO: Oops, I forgot.

REMUS: Well I hope that you've remembered.

DRACO: Uh huh. Sorry Remus, I didn't mean it.

FRED & GEORGE: Uh.....


SEAMUS: (Holds hand out to Dean) Pay up.

DEAN: (sighs, but then gives Seamus five Galleons) I knew that was a bad idea....

NEVILLE: (Enters through the portrait) Knew what was a bad idea?"

DEAN: Betting against Seamus.

DRACO: I thought you were the sensible Gryffindor, Thomas?

DEAN: So did I.

DRACO: Then why did you bet against Finnigan? Even I know not to do THAT!

NEVILLE: (Notices Draco) MALFOY????? What the...(faints)

DRACO: I didn't know I was that scary....

HARRY: You aren't, Neville's scared of Ginny sometimes.

DRACO: (Glances between Ginny and Ron) It's probably because of her siblings.

FRED & GEORGE: Hey!!! I don't like your tone!

DRACO: Sorry. I only meant him. (Points to Ron)

HARRY: Remus? Are you going to tell us what's wrong with Ron?

REMUS: Eventually. (Glances at watch) Oh no! Sirius! We've got to go!


REMUS: We're wanted in another fic!

SIRIUS: Oh! See you guys later! (Leaves)

REMUS: Yeah, bye! (Follows Sirius)


DRACO: We're doomed to a life of Weasley doing...that!

HARRY: (Sniff) I guess so...(sniff sniff sniff)

SEAMUS: Aw, don't cry Harry! We'll fix it! (Turns to Ron) Tell me what you're doing!!!

RON: Hey! Did you guys see that Kangaroo? (Wanders over and tries to kiss Draco)

DRACO: Arrhhhhh!!! (Ducks behind Harry) Don't let him hurt me...

HARRY: Sure thing.

RON: A butterfly! (Chases a dust bunny and trips over a couch)

DRACO: (Sniff) We ARE doomed!

HARRY: (Sob) Yes, we ARE!!!

ARBRON: To the amazement and horror of the Gryffindors, except for Ron of course, Harry and Draco both begin to sob hysterically.

HERMIONE: I think we should go to Dumbledore!

ARBRON: She led Lavender, Fred and Ginny out the door and towards Dumbledore's office. Dean, Seamus, George and a recently revived Neville tried to comfort Draco and Harry. Ron started dancing on a table.

ARBRON: And now aren't we all curious? Don't you want to know what Ron's doing? I sure do!

MONTY: Me too!

ARBRON: What are you doing here???

MONTY: Well I'm SW's muse aren't I? I'm supposed to be here just as much as you are!!!

ARBRON: I'll never get away from her.....stupid snake!

MONTY: I am not stupid!

ARBRON: Stupid coloured snake, too.

MONTY: Green and Silver rule!!!

ARBRON: Stupid Slytherin supporter.

MONTY: Er, Arbron? So are you.

ARBRON: Oh yeah! Slytherin rocks!!!

MONTY: Don't forget to review! And make a few suggestions if you like, such as who do you want to appear?


MONTY: Please?

SW: Pretty please with Draco on top?