Since the producers said Felicity wouldn't be in Arrow 3x04, but still be in there, I realized she probably had a phone call with Oliver. And after seeing that Flash trailer with Felicity and Barry kissing I kind of had to write this shot. I'm an Olicity fan all the way, but it was written in the spirit of what I think will be some very angsty episodes that will make us mad and a crying mess and all those things... So, yeah, here is my take in Arrow 3x04 and Flash 1x04.
The Phone call
She could clearly hear his sigh in the emptiness of the train station.
After her conversation with Barry, where they finally put everything on the table about their feelings concerning not only each other, but the people they loved more than themselves, she felt hollow and tired. She had speak with Diggle after the ruinous date and the days that followed it, but Barry could really understand what was going through her mindset, with his own love away with another person.
"I can't be with you, not because I don't care for you, but because I don't love you like you deserve…" Barry had said and Felicity could recall Oliver's own words after everything went down.
"You can't tell me to say that I don't love you, but you won't be another name in a tombstone."
Barry couldn't be with her because he loved another person, Oliver wouldn't be because he loved her too much.
So, lying about the hours of her train, Felicity left Barry and Iris and her boyfriend in that coffee shop and walked away. She needed to be alone and being one hour early to her train in an almost empty station was the perfect place.
But then he called and even if she didn't want to recognize that, her heart still jumped inside her chest. Even after their discussion that pushed her to go to Barry.
"Felicity?" he called again, this time in a smaller voice and Felicity realized with dread that his voice was trembling, that Oliver Queen, her Oliver, was almost crying.
"What happened?" she gasped and she heard him sigh.
"Felicity…" he said again. "He is alive…"
"Who?" she asked, feeling dread invading her veins. Whom of their enemies could be back from the grave and was able of leaving Oliver like a mess?
"Malcolm Merlyn… And Thea spent the last months with him…" he confessed and Felicity felt her stomach disappear inside her body.
Thea and Malcolm were together… He was alive and she was lost…
She shuddered, imagining the kind of manipulation the man used over the young woman.
"Are you sure? Did you see her?" Felicity asked softly. And him? She asked in her mind.
"Yes…" Oliver replied. "She is not my sister anymore…" and the sob that was hiding in his voice since the beginning of the conversation appeared.
"Her eyes… her words… he changed her… she said… she said she had rather have a psycho father than a lying brother…"
Felicity wanted to stretch her fingers through the phone and touch his cheek, clean the tears from his cheeks and kiss him. But she couldn't, so she did the best second thing.
"Oliver…" she whispered in that tone she felt rising in her naturally every time she spoke with him. "Thea is confused and hurt… What she said is not true, she loves you, but for the last months she had Malcolm Merlyn whisper in her ears, telling her what he wanted her to believe, using her fears to mold her into his own perfect daughter. You didn't lost your sister, she is still there. All we have to do is getting her back and then all of us can help her and you have a different relationship, without lies and hidden truths…" Felicity offered, her mouth dry and feeling like sand paper.
Gosh, she leaves Starling for a few days and all hell breaks loose.
"Thank you…" Oliver replied and she felt his voice stronger. "I needed to hear you…" he didn't say her words or her support, he said her, and it hurt Felicity, because she knew he loved her, but he was still fighting it with all his strength. Maybe with Thea back he could finally start letting go of some of those last walls he cling to so fiercely.
"I miss you…" Felicity confessed, knowing it was a mistake, but saying it all the same. The kiss with Barry appeared in her mind and she couldn't stop herself from comparing it with Oliver's, the passion she felt when Oliver touched her, the electricity in her body, the way her heart jumped… With Barry it was sweet, like a High School Sweetheart, but it had nothing on the devotion she felt from Oliver's lips. Because Barry loved another person and so did she, and kissing was just a way to try and fool themselves.
"I miss you too…" he said, his voice trembling once again. "When are you coming back?"
Felicity felt a temptation of lying, of telling him she would stay in Central City for an undetermined time, but she couldn't. She couldn't imagine his hurt expression or his sad eyes, so she told him the truth.
"I will be home at 6 a.m."
"I'll go get you…" he said immediately and once again Felicity felt it was not fair for either of them what he was doing. He was keeping them away for her safety, and injuring their hearts in the meantime.
"Okay…" she breathed out. She wanted to see him and she wanted to be seen by him. Would he be able to tell Barry kissed her? Would he feel jealous? No, she didn't want to know, but if he asked, she would answer, not for being petty, but because their relationship had no lies. At least, until the day after the date, and the lie that they were telling each other and was hurting them.
"I have to go…" Felicity informed, hearing the train's sound at the end of the platform.
"I will be there…" Oliver said. It was like he wanted to say something else, something more, and Felicity knew it was and waited with trepidation, but then he hanged up the phone, leaving her hollow.
Felicity looked at the object in her hand until the train stopped in front of her. She didn't know for how long they could keep up the pretenses that nothing changed…
Hoisting her bags and stepping into the train she hoped for their hearts sake that it wouldn't take too long, be it a bad or a good fallout. She just couldn't stay in this limbo for much longer and visiting Barry, watching him observe Iris from afar, made her realize what she must look like to Diggle and even Roy, who knew her so well. And she didn't want that for her.
She wanted happiness, and if the man waiting for her at the end of the travel couldn't give her that, she would have to close her heart and find it in another way. Even if it hurt like hell, even if every step taken away from him made her heart feel like a million pieces were being left behind, like a breadcrumbs road… but this time Gretel would not walk back…
So, angsty enough? Gosh, I'm feeling bad with myself... But the muse works what the muse works. Please review and tell me what you think about this!