The Bat Talisman Saga

by AthEnA1999

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon OR Jackie Chan Adventures.  If I did, you know what the series would be like!!!!!  ^_^

Intro and author's notes: This is a story I wrote on my vacation in Canada and Seattle, but the idea was born when I was watching Jackie Chan Adventures the week before.  I wondered "What if the main villain in Jackie Chan Adventures was Myotismon instead of Shendu?".  So that gave birth to this fic idea.  I decided to write a story about it on the trip while watching the Men in Black DVD.  It came to me really fast, and it was in this notebook for about a million years until I found it, and well here it is!  There are side stories starring the Futurama crew, but it does tie in.  So heeeere it is!  An episode of JCA telling us what the series would be like if Myotismon was the main villain instead of Shendu…  I think I've postponed it long enough!!!!  My sister LOVED it, BTW!


Prologue: It was a sleepy day for everyone at the Planet Express, and it was practically a day off.  No one had gotten any deliveries, except for getting some knick knacks at a sidewalk sale.  Fry sat on the couch with Bender.  Even TV was starting to get boring for him.

  "God, this is starting to get boring!" Fry shouted, throwing the remote control onto the couch.  Then he reached for more cheese puffs in his bag.

  "You're telling me," agreed Bender.  "1600 channels is not enough!  I kept telling Professor Farnsworth to get satellite like the guys down the street, but no!"

  Fry rummaged around in the bag, but there were no more cheese puffs.  "I'm gonna get more cheese puffs, OK Bender?" he asked.

  "While you're at it, get me a beer or something," said the robot.

  The redhead entered the kitchen and searched through the cupboards for more cheese puffs.  Then he found a bag of Soylent Doritos.  "Oh well, better than nothing," he shrugged, pulling the bag of green chips out of the cupboard.  As he was about to get two beers for Bender and himself, the rest of the crew entered, clutching bags full of… well… stuff.

  "Man that was a cool rummage sale!" Amy exclaimed, grabbing something in her bag and pulling out what looked like a pink shower cap with slimy green tentacles, which appeared to be moving.  "I love this shower cap!"  She placed it on her head.  "oooh!"

  "I tink dat's a weeg for da Qxiggon aliens, Amy," said Hermes, rummaging through his bag, seeing if everything was perfectly organized.  "Hee Professor, what did you get?"  He looked through Professor F's bag.

  "Damn those cashiers!" the old professor shouted.  "Can't they just use one kind of bag?  They keep asking me 'Paper, plastic, or synthezoid titanium?'  It bugs me so much!"

  "Hee Professor?  What's dis?" asked the Jamaican guy, holding up a myriad of DVD's.  They were Digimon and Jackie Chan Adventures, with pictures of action on the covers.  The animated version of Jackie Chan was doing kung fu moves against some dragon-like demon, with talismans as a background, and on the Digimon DVD's, seven children and seven monsters were fighting what looked like a human in a blue suit.

  "I don't know," said Professor F.  "I brought them back so the identifyitron could identify them."

  "Hey, I remember those!" exclaimed Fry.  "Those are DVD's!"

  "Oh, those ancient things," scoffed Leela.

  "Sweet bull of Istanbul!" shouted Hermes, putting his hand on his head in excitement.  "Sweet Kitty of Atlantic City!  DVD's!  I always assumed dat dose were almost extinct, except for the one living one in da Smeethsonion!  And a Deegeemon one too!  Dose are the rarest ones!"

  "Digimon…" said Fry.  "I remember that!  That was an anime that premiered in 1999!  That was the last show I watched before my pizza disaster!  I've never heard of Jackie Chan Adventures…"  He looked at the DVD.  "Hey, it was made in 2001!  No wonder I don't know about it!"

  "We got the DVD player free with it," said Leela.  "It was a 'buy 7 DVD's, get a player free' deal at the Prehistoric Antique Shop."

  So after a few minutes, with Fry's help, everyone learned how to set up the DVD player and watch the DVD's.  "Man this is gonna be good," said Fry.

*Insert Futurama theme sequence here :P*

  The next morning, everyone was asleep in front of the TV.  They had stayed up the whole night watching DVD's.  Except Bender, who fell asleep after the first one.  He strolled into the kitchen, then came back with a bucket o' water.  Then he sploshed it all over the Planet Express crew.

  "AAAAAAAH!" shouted Amy.  "Don't get my wig wet!"

  "What am I doing here?" wondered Fry.  "Oh yeah, the DVD's.  So how did you like them?  Man I missed having a DVD player in the house!"

  Everyone either nodded or shrugged.

  "I remember the Digimon one," said Fry.  "Man, that Myotismon character was the COOLEST villain!  Hey professor!  I just got a crazy thought!  Can I use your Whatif Machine?"

  "Sure, why not?" replied Professor F.

  So the Planet Express crew trooped into the professor's inventing room after Hermes stopped to alphabetize the DVD's.  The professor turned the Whatif Machine on as Fry prepared to ask his question.

  "Better get the popcorn," said Fry.  "Who knows how long this is gonna last…"

  "Comin' right up!" exclaimed Bender, entering the room.  "I got Soylent Doritos!"

  "Yummy!" exclaimed the ancient professor.

  "And I have ultra-low-fat-low-calorie diet popcorn for Amy," said Bender, who gave the bag to Amy.  "And just what everyone else wants."

  Everyone got something except for Zoidberg.

  "What about ME?" complained the lobster.  He sighed, then trudged out of the room.  He returned foodless.  "We could have at least gotten more prawns!"

  "The machine's up and running," said Professor Farnsworth.  "Ask your question so we can get to the important stuff!"

  "OK," said Fry.  "What if… what if… what if instead of that Shendu villain in Jackie Chan Adventures, the main villain was Myotismon from Digimon?"

  The Whatif Machine processed the question.  Then the screen did the 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

  And the episode began.


  It started like always at the antique store in San Fransisco on October 30.  Uncle was dusting his priceless antiques with a feather duster, Jackie was brushing up on his talisman research, and Jade was making her way home from school.

  "Uncle!" Jackie exclaimed, coming across an interesting bit of research.  "I found out about a talisman that ISN'T part of the zodiac!  It is—"

  "JACKIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Uncle squealed, breaking the vase.  "NEVER INTERRUPT UNCLE WHILE HE'S CLEANING HIS PRICELESS ANTIQUES!  ONE MORE THING!  The Dark Hand still possesses the Dragon Talisman.  ONE MORE THING!  I need tea!"  The door opened.  "ONE MORE THING!  Jade has arrived."

  Jackie sighed.  When one piece of work was finished, another just HAD to begin.

  "Hi Jackie!"  Jade ran up to her uncle and bounded him in a great hug.  She was holding a sheet of paper, which Jackie didn't fail to notice.

  "Jade," said Jackie, setting his spunky niece on the floor.  "What did you do this time?"  He sighed and took a pen from off the tabletop.  "Just hand me the paper…"

  Jade handed Jackie the sheet of paper, and Jackie was quite surprised by what was on it.  Instead of anything that said Jade was in trouble, it was just a myriad of arithmetic problems.  "It's just my midterm math test," she said meekly.  "No biggie."

  Jackie looked over the paper.  There were no incorrect answers, and in the left corner there was a large red A and a smaller "Wonderful work, Jade!" under the A.

  "And the teacher said with that score, my grade's pulled up to a B!" Jade exclaimed.

  "Wow Jade, I am very impressed!" exclaimed Jackie.  "Not only your first A on a math test, but a perfect score too!  How about to celebrate, we go out for dinner and a movie?"  He ruffled his niece's hair.  "I've been doing research on the Bat Talisman all day and need a break!  I hope the break lasts until Christmas!"

*Insert JCA theme sequence here.  It's basically the same except Demidevimon is added to the lineup of villains and it's Myo instead of Shendu and stuff like that.*

  Meanwhile, things were not going too well at the Dark Hand headquarters at the Helms Fish Cannery (or whatever it's called.)  The normal crew of the Dark Hand, minus the Shadow Con, were gathered in front of a seven-foot tall stone statue behind Valmont's desk.  Demidevimon flew through the door, panting.

  "Hey master," he panted, landing on the desk.  "Guess what!  We found a talisman that DOESN"T have anything to do with a zodiac or crap like that.  I don't know what purpose it has, but it's called the Bat Talisman!"

  "YES!" shouted the Myotismon statue.  "Maybe your stupidity is more minimal than I anticipated.  I know you don't see this, but I am ecstatic.  The usual four of you who try to stop Chan, go follow him.  The Shadow Con will keep an eye on you."

  So Finn, Ratso, the guy in the orange glasses (I think his name is Chow), and Tohru left the room.  Only to then realize they did not know where the talisman was.

  "It's in an old castle in Transylvania!" shouted Valmont.

  "Thanks, big V!" said Finn.  "It's in Transylvania,' he told the fellow henchmen.

  "Your crew had better not fail me," said the Myo statue to both his right-hand henchmen.  "Especially you, Demidevimon.  YOU recruited them."

  "Hey, I did what I could," said the imp.

  That evening, Jackie, Jade, and Uncle went out for a dinner at a local Chinese restaurant, with Uncle bitching about "TOO LITTLE GOOD SERVICE AND TOO MUCH MSG!  ONE MORE THING!  Where is the waiter when I need him?  ONE MORE THING!  I need to use the bathroom!  ONE MORE THING!…"  This went on for quite some time.

  "I am very proud of you," said Jackie to Jade.

  "Hi Jackie," said a deep voice.

  "AAAAAAAAH!" shouted Jackie, grabbing his fork and standing up, ready to stab the attacker.  He put it down when he saw the familiar bald head and bushy auburn eyebrows.  "Captain Black, don't scare me like that!"

  "Sorry Jackie," said Captain Black.  "Listen.  I'm sorry for startling you like that and interrupting your dinner, but I have some news regarding the talismans…"

  "What is it?" asked Jackie.  "Tell me, Captain Black."

  "Bad news, Jackie.  Valmonts men are hot on the trail of the Bat Talisman.  The crew is headed to Transylvania, where the talisman is safely in its walls, hidden from thieves like the Dark Hand."

  Jade's eyes widened.  "WOW!" she shouted.  "Transylvania, and on Halloween night, too!  I can't wait to go and meet some vampires!!"

  "Jade," said Jakcie.  "Remember, the talismans are for bringing Myotismon back to life and making him more powerful.  He is a vampire and a very dangerous one, too.  If he gets loose he could envelop all worlds in darkness and destroy them.  And his evil digimon friends will rule it too.  Being locked away in the Gate of Destiny can enhance their megalomania."

  "But can I go anyway?" asked Jade.  "Who cares about marshmallow-mania when you can go to Transylvania on Halloween?  Please let me go!  Please please please please pretty pleeeeeeeeeeease with a cherry on top?  With a cherry and nuts and whipped cream and hot fudge on top?"  She made a cute adorable puppy dog face.  "Besides, I can do my homework in the hotel and promise to stay with Uncle!"

  Jackie couldn't say no to that face.  He sighed and said, "All right.  But I need IN WRITING that you'll stay with Uncle in the hotel.

  Jade snatched her napkin and wrote it down.  Then she handed it to Jackie, who put it in his pants pocket.  "You got it in writing.  I'll stay with Uncle IN THE HOTEL."  She grinned mischievously.

  And don't try anything funny, Jade," said Jackie as the waiter handed them the check.  "I have your written promise that says 'I, Jade Chan, promise to stay with Uncle in the hotel.'"

  "Pack your bags, Chan," said Captain Black.  "You're going to Transylvania tomorrow."

  The next day, both crews landed in Transylvania via airplane.  Jackie, Jade, and Uncle got off the plane after it landed.

  "Now landing in Transylvania," said the pilot's staticky voice over the loudspeaker.

  "The flight was TERRIBLE!" Uncle whined as they got off the plane and went into the terminal.  "The food was awful, the bathrooms didn't work, and the movie had no plot!  There was no room for my CHI SPELL!"

  "What the hell do you need a chi spell for?" asked Jade.  "All Jackie's gonna do is get a talisman."

  "To ward off vampires," answered Uncle.  "Any and all vampires."

  Jackie and Jade rolled their eyes.  They gathered their bags and left the airport to catch the bus to the hotel.  The sun had just sunk beneath the horizon.

  Meanwhile, the Dark Hand crew had already reached their hotel that night.

  "WOOHOO!" shouted Finn.  "We're gonna get a talisman in a castle and then I'll get promoted!"

  Ratso looked scared.  "But what about the vampires?"

  "We WORK for a guy who works for a vampire," said Finn.  "You've been around Big M for a long time, ever since the Big V introduced him to us!"

  "yah, but he's a STATUE!" Chow pointed out.  "Statues can't bite ya with their fangs.  Hey Tohru, do you still have the talisman finderer?"

  The big Japanese dude who could have been a sumo wrestler took out what looked like what the old talisman locator was in the show, only it had bats instead of dragon heads on it.

  "Man, the Big M must really have a thing for bats," Finn remarked.

  A crimson laser beam shot out of one of the bat's mouths, right in the direction of the large castle on the mountain.

  Chow looked out the window.  "It's pointing in the direction of that big creepy castle on the hill," he told his fellow antagonists.

  "Big?  Creepy?  Castle?"  Ratso looked scared.

  Suddenly their small picture cell phone beeped.  Finn answered it, and saw Valmont on the screen, looking very impatient.

  "Do you have the talisman yet?" asked Valmont, sounding as impatient as he appeared to be.

  "Not yet," replied Finn.  "We sorta know where it is—"

  "Where is it?"

  "Some creepy castle on a sinister mountain."

  "That sounds easy to get to.  And hurry!  Myotismon keeps telling me to get a haircut!  If you don't come back soon, I'll have to!"

  The image on the screen disappeared.  Finn threw the phone on his hotel bed.  He, like everyone else, thought it was a bit scary at night.

  Ratso stretched and yawned very loudly.  "Man I'm tired," he siad.  "Let's go to bed."

  "Oh no we don't," said Finn.  "We're gonna get that talisman back even if it kills us."  He took his bag and grabbed things from around the room, stuffing them into the bag.

  "What are those for?" asked Ratso.  "It's a stinky vegetable and a holy Christian object."

  "To ward off vampires, dumbass," said Chow.

  "Good," said Tohru.  "Let's go."

  The Dark Hand men left.

  "Welcome to Romania," said Jackie's travel guide.  He had left the hotel to go on a Halloween tour through the city, possibly stopping at the castle.  Jade was with Uncle, doing her homework.  Or so Jackie thought.  "So, Mr. Chan, where are you headed?"

  Jackie took his seat at the front of the tour bus.  "Well," he replied, "I'm going to retrieve an ancient and priceles artifact from the castle on the mountain."

  The tour guide turned a shade of pale that the archeologist had never seen before.  She gulped, then stammered, "The castle?"

  "Why yes," said Jackie.  "Is there something you want to tell me about it?  Let me guess.  They're using it to make yet another Dracula movie?"

  "No, worse than that," said the tour guide.  "Anyone who goes into that castle either dies… or comes out a vampire!"


  "Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooringggg!" shouted Bender.

  "Come ON!  I need more of Myotismon!" screamed Amy.  "He is SOOOOOOO HOT!"

  "Silence, you two!" commanded the Whatif Machine.

  Professor Farnsworth nearly had a heart attack.  "My… my… Whatif Machine… it can… TALK!"

  "I've been able to speak since the day I was born," said the machine.  "Now, back to the show."

  The screen made the "movie" resume.


  "There are no such things as vampires!" shouted Jackie.  "Well, except for Myotismon, but he's a digital vampire turned to stone, so he doesn't really count as one…"

  "I've seen vampires with my own two eyes," said a gravelly voice from behind Jackie.  The Chinese-American archaelogist turned his head around and saw an old man who appeared paranoid.  "They have cold pale skin, and they come to you in the middle of the night… and when they do, they bare their honest-to-God FANGS!  If it bites you, you turn into one."

  "I refuse to believe a word of this vampire crap!" shouted Jackie, covering his ears as the tour bus took off and wound through the streets of Transylvania.  Little did he know of a tiny little figure reading a Romanian newspaper and humming along to her CD, not too far away.

  Jackie grew more anxious at each passing minute of the trip, not paying attention to the tour guide pointing out various landmarks.  Finally, the bus stopped in front of the castle, and the tour guide let them step out to take pictures.  When no one was looking, Jackie snuck around to the other side and hid before the bus was boarded and left, and then went inside to retrieve a talisman.

  Jackie opened the front door with a creak.  At first he was afraid, but then he remembered that there was no such thing as vampires.  He went inside, coughing from the dust.  He turned on his flashlight and shone it around.  Then he found himself staring into someone's face.

  "AAAAAAAAAH!" Jackie screamed, jumping back.

  "Hi Jackie!" sang Jade, making her cutest face possible.

  "Jade, you wrote that you would stay with Uncle in the hotel!"  He took the napkin out of his pocket, unfolded it, and read it out loud.  "It says, 'I, Jade Chan, promise to stay with Uncle in the hotel.'"

  "Yes, it said 'IN THE HOTEL,' but it said nothing about what I should do outside of the hotel!"  Jade had found the loophole again.  "Besides, this beats shopping for the right chi ingredients.  So what talisman are we searching for?"

  "The Bat Talisman," replied Jackie.  "I read that it has some sort of curse that leads directly to Myotismon in a way."  He whipped out his cell phone.  "I'll call Uncle."  He dialed the number of the hotel room.

  Uncle was in the middle of sorting chi ingredients when he got called by jackie.  "Yes?" he said.  "Do you know I am something in the middle of something VERY important, Jackie?"

  "Uncle, what do you know about the curse of the Bat Talisman?" asked Jackie.

  "I do research AFTER I sort chi ingredients!  ONE MORE THING!  The talisman should be kept away from Myotismon at all costs.  ONE MORE THING!  Never bother Uncle when he's sorting chi ingredients!"  Uncle hung up.

  Jackie shone the flashlight around the living room, with Jade searching for vampires.  He even looked on the bottom of the statues and under loose floorboards.

  Meanwhile, the Dark Hand lackeys— Finn, Ratso, Chow, and Tohro— had entered via the kitchen.  Ratso was hanging onto Chow's leather jacket.

  "Getcha hands offa me," said Chow, swatting at his dumber teammate.

  "But what about the VAMPIRES?" whined Ratso, shining a flashlight at a group of bats, which squeaked and flew away.  "See?  Where there are bats, there are definitely vampires around!"

  Finn rolled his eyes.  "Even if there is a vampire I can still get rid of 'em with what I got!"

  As Jackie was dusting places in the dining room, Jade looked at the fireplace and saw something lodged in the mantlepiece.  "Hey Jackie!" she shouted.  "Look what I found!"

  "Not now Jade," said Jackie, dusting a shelf.

  "But jackie, I think I found the Bat Talisman!" Jade shouted.

  "WHAT??!!" Jackie was incredulous.  He walked over to the mantlepiece.  Sure enough, the Bat Talisman was lodged between two of the stones that made it.  Carefully, he took out a chisel and started chipping away at where the talisman was and took it out.  Then he put it on the table.  "Yes Jade.  Thanks to you, the Bat Talisman has been found!"

  A hand reached out and grabbed the Bat Talisman right out of Jackie's hand.  "It's ours now!" said Finn, who was the one who grabbed it.  "Thank you and good night!"  The four Dark Hand lackeys began to leave until Jackie grabbed a poker and used it as a kung-fu stick, swatting at them.  Then he bent it as it hit the mantlepiece.  He performed one of his moves on them and grabbed the talisman.  Tohru grabbed Jackie and took the talisman.  Jackie smashed him over the head with a chair, but Ratso got the talisman first.  It began to turn into a huge kung-fu battle.


  "Now THIS is more like it!" said Bender, on the edge of the couch.  "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!  I bet $20 on Jackie Chan!"

  "I bet $25 on the guys with the weapons," Zoidberg exclaimed.


  Finally, Jackie managed to grab the talisman.  He threw it to Jade, who caught it.  Still, he kept fighting those guys.

  "Geez, how long is this gonna take?" Jade asked herself, looking at the Bat Talisman.  It was an octagon-shaped rock with a design of the bat on Myotismon's uniform on it.  "What are they gonna do, give it to Valmont and hope he puts in a good word for them for a promotion from their almighty Lord Myotismon?"

  Suddenly the Bat Talisman began to glow a bright crimson, as if something had triggered it.  Yes, the talisman was working.  Jade was beginning to feel strange, and she began to go through physical changes.

  "Oh no," said Ratso, seeing bats suddenly appear on the ceiling.

  "There are NO SUCH THINGS as vampires!" shouted Finn, shining the flashlight in Jade's face.

  Jade hissed and shielded herself with her new black cape.

  "JADE?" Jackie said.  "What's gotten into you?"

  Jade looked at Jackie in a hungry way.  Her eyes glowed rid and her fangs elongated, aching to feed.  Her skin was also a pale white color.

  "I vill return this talisman to Master Myotismon," said Jade, with a very heavy Transylvanian accent.  "But first… a leetle snack!"  She grabbed Jackie around the neck and attempted to bite it.

  "Jade, stop this!" shouted Jackie.

  "Go Jade!" exclaimed Ratso.  "Bite Jackie and bite him good!"

  Jade heard her snack speak.  She leapt onto Ratso, pinning him to the ground.  She sank her fangs into Ratso's thick neck and drank the blood that gushed out of the punctures.  The bumbling Dark Hand member fell limp, as if he were dead.

  "Deleecious," said Jade, licking her lips.  "And now, I vill return the talisman!"  Jade turned into a little black bat and flew away, the talisman held by her feet.

  Everyone standing realized the same thing.  "Jade's a vampire!" they exclaimed.

  Jackie got the chance to escape.

  "And she bit Ratso!" exclaimed Tohru, lifting Ratso into the air.

  "Which means he's gonna be… Batso!" exclaimed Chow.  "We need to get back to headquarters, and fast!"

  Suddenly Ratso woke up, hissing and baring his fangs like Jade.  Tohru dropped him to the ground.

  "Don't worry," said Finn.  He rummaged through the bag and pulled out an onion.  "Ha ha!  A smelly vegetable!"

  Ratso didn't back away.

  "You DUMBASS!" shouted Chow.  "That's supposed to be GARLIC!"

  "Oh," said Finn.  He took out something else.  "Well look at THIS!  He oughta be running for his life any time now!  I got a Bible!"  He held the Bible up, but Ratso didn't back away.

  "Idiot, it's supposed to be a CROSS, not a Bible!" shouted Chow.

  "Dang," said Finn.

  While this was happening, Jackie edged away and ran out of the castle faster than he had ever run.  He had to stop Jade before something awful happened to the entire world.

  Suddenly his cell phone began to ring.  Jackie muttered, "IT better not be telemarketers."  He answered the phone.  "Hello?"

  "Jackie!  This is Uncle," said Uncle.  "Legend says that the Bat Talisman was created by the Demon Virus Lord himself.  If the person holding the Bat Talisman says the Lord's name, he or she will become one like him.  ONE MORE THING!  The person will become a vampire.  ONE MORE THING!  That talisman is the one that brings Myotismon back to life.  ONE MORE THING!  Those other talismans were redundant.  ONE MORE THING!  You must not let the Dark Hand get the talisman.  ONE MORE THING!  Jade is missing.  Have you seen her?"

  "Later," said Jackie, hanging up.  "Oh, bad day bad day bad day…"


  "Aw, I've seen worse," scoffed Bender.  "And Leela's seen worse than any of us put together."

  "HEY!" shouted Leela.

  "Not only that, I just got another $25!" exclaimed Zoidberg.  "So the Dark Hand won!"

  "The hell it did," said Bender threateningly.


  "JACKIEEEEEEEEE!" squealed Uncle.  "WHERE IS JADE?!"

  "She took the Bat Talisman and now she's a vampire," replied Jackie, rather quickly.

  Uncle whacked Jackie between the eyes.  "YOU VERY BAD INFLUENCE!"

  "We need to go back to San Fransisco," said Jackie.  "Jade is flying across the ocean as we speak.  And she is a lot faster than the average bat, and even a speedy bat!"

  So the first thing they did was board the next flight back to San Fransisco.  Uncle was leafing through his chi book along the way.

  "It says here that the only way to reverse the curse of the Bat Talisman is to destroy the talisman.  Or the lead vampire, whichever is easier," said Uncle.  "Since it's nearly impossible to destroy Myotismon, your best bet would be to destroy the talisman.  I can also use a chi spell to take the curse away from Jade."

  "You do that," said Jackie.

  "I'm glad we found a way to take Ratso onto the plane," said Finn, carrying a metal cage with a bat in it.  The Dark Hand crew was now in the headquarters at the Helms Fish Cannery.  Jade had ALMOST gotten there.  Jackie and Uncle were nearing the destination by taxi.

  They went up the elevator and entered the giant office.

  "Master Myotismon," said Chow, "your Bat Talisman will be arriving shortly."

  "Good," said the inanimate statue.

  "So you buffoons actually did your jobs," said Valmont.

  "Yah, congrats!" shouted Demidevimon.

  "You be quiet," said Myotismon.

  "Make me shut up!" said Demidevimon.  "You're just a statue!"

  Suddenly Jade the bat flew through the open window, holding a talisman in her feet.  The bat changed into vampire Jade.  "He von't be a statue anymore," she declared.

  "Your talisman awaits," said Finn, making way for Jade.

  That was when Jackie and Uncle entered the room, with Uncle holding a bunch of ingredients for a chi spell.  He began making the chi spell as fast as possible as Jade walked over to Myotismon.

  "NO JADE!" screamed Jackie.  He ran over to her.  "Sorry about this…"  He used a karate kick to knock his niece to the ground and the talisman out of her hands.  "NOW, UNCLE!"

  Uncle stood up with a garlic necklace around his neck and holding a cross.  He began to jump up and down.  "No mo bway fa fi di tao," he chanted.  "Nu mo bway fa fi di tao."

  The chi spell filled the room, and Jade and Ratso changed back into themselves, fang-free.  Ratso was stuffed in the cage.

  "Uh… Finn?  Chow?  Someone?  A little help here!" he said.

  Demidevimon saw the talisman on the ground and picked it up.  He flew over to Myotismon.

  "Oh Jade, I'm so gla you're safe!" Jackie exclaimed, hugging Jade.

  "JACKIE!"  Jade screamed, pointing to Demidevimon and Myotismon.

  Jackie quickly got up and tried to get the talisman away before it was too late.  Demidevimon placed that talisman in the bat clasp that held the vampire's cape together, and the statue began to move.  Color flooded into its body, and before anyone could do anything… Myotismon came to life.

  "If that talisman was the only one you needed, then how come you made my men get all those other ones?" asked Valmont.

  "I wanted to see if they were competent enough," replied Myotismon.

  "This is gonna take one hell of a chi spell," said Jade.  "It's awful!  Myotismon's back and worse than ever!"

  "Ooh," groaned Jackie.  "Bad day…"

  Myotismon darkly chuckled to himself, and the scene faded to black.  Standing out against the black background were three words: "TO BE CONTINUED…"


  "A CLIFFHANGER?????!!!!!!"  Fry nearly choked on his popcorn.  "Aw MAN!"

  "Hey, you got what you wanted," said the professor.  "And there are five more to come!"

  "Oh good!  We'll see more of Myotismon!" exclaimed Amy.  "He is SO CUTE!"  hearts appeared in her eyes.  "I love this new Emot-Eye-Con I got last week!"

  "The next episode will come tomorrow, same time, same channel," said the Whatif Machine.  "Do your work, and if you have to go to the bathroom, do it now."

  Everyone got up and left, except for Bender and Zoidberg.

  "I still say Jackie won the fight!" shouted Bender.

  "No way!  The bad guys got the talisman!" argued Zoidberg.  "I demand my $25 back!  I need it for my dry cleaning!"

  "The hell you do!" shouted Bender.  He and Zoidberg got into a seemingly endless fistfight on the floor.


Do you want me to continue?  If I do, new episodes will be going up soon!