Final Author's Note: Congratulations! You have reached the inevitable conclusion of "The Bat Talisman Saga." This is the final multi-chaptered crossover I am doing for this website; I might drop by the crossover section once in a while to do a few more crossovers, possibly of this nature. I would like to thank a few people. First and foremost, the reviewers! I couldn't have done it without you! Second of all, I would like to share my gratitude with my younger sister, who gave me a few ideas for chapters 13 and 14. Third, a HUGE thank you goes out to none other than coffee. The idea for the original concept wouldn't have been sparked without you. Finally, thank you to ALL the readers, for reading this massive one-and-a-half-year project (I finished a year ago, but I didn't get the chance to put this up until now.) (huggles all the people she mentioned). And now, without further adieu, the final chapter. Enjoy!
The Fate of Three Worlds
Fry, Leela, Bender, Zoidberg, Professor Farnsworth, Uncle, Jackie, Zapp, and Kif ran outside to stare at the monstrosity that loomed above them in its hundred-foot terror, shadowed by the black sky above. Even the skyscrapers seemed to cower as Venom Myotismon smashed their tops with one mighty swing of his fist.
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed the demon, throwing his head back to show off a new mane of long, blonde hair. His evil cackle echoed through the city and surrounded the heroes. "WHICH ONE OF YOU SHALL I DESTROY FIRST?"
As if answering the call, Zapp aimed his laser gun directly at Venom Myotismon's chest and blasted a light beam directly at it. Though it was a direct hit, the demon was not fazed. Instead, he grew furious and growled like a trained doberman. The slits in various places in his body, which looked like eyes, opened and emitted beams of light dotted with iridescent colors. Though full of transcendant beauty, they packed a hard punch and filled one's body with venom on contact. The attack was known as Venom Infusion.
The second the captain was hit, he was hurled back against the Planet Express building, hit the wall, and dropped to the ground.
"Captain down!" Zapp groaned from the pavement.
"How DARE you hurt one of my best friends?" threatened Zoidberg. "You are Zoidberg's enemy as well, you are!" He attempted to squirt black ink at Venom Myotismon, but the ink hit everyone else. The demon's response was kicking the lobster towards the wall, where he fell on top of Zapp. Venom Myotismon stomped farther away and continued demolishing buildings with his fists.
Meanwhile, Uncle was issuing garlic necklaces to everyone who was standing, except Professor Farnsworth. The professor was issuing doomsday devices to everyone instead. "You must use them quickly," advised Uncle. "There is not much chi!" Then he ducked into a shielded alley and quickly leafed through his book of chi spells, feverishly attempting to translate any remaining information on the Bat Talisman, which was glowing blood-red and heated like a burner on a stove.
"It's good to see you two are working together to build a super, chi-powered doomsday device," remarked Leela.
"WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING!" shouted the professor. "He's trying to prove that chi is better!"
"Well, we'll all use them at once," instructed Leela. "Everyone who's standing, put the garlic necklaces around the doomsday devices, and let 'er rip with Uncle's chant! Ready?"
Fry, Bender, Jackie, and Kif nodded, all draping the garlic necklaces around the doomsday devices and cocking the guns. Venom Myotismon turned around and looked at them.
"GO!" Leela commanded.
All five of them hopped on one foot and chanted, "Nu mo bway fa fi di tao! Nu mo bway fa fi di tao! Nu mo bway fa fi di tao!" simultaneously. Then they shot the hell out of their doomsday devices, one by one.
A green ray of light shot out of each garlic necklace and combined with the white ray of light emitted by the doomsday device to create a super-powerful blast of energy potent enough to wipe out all vampirism on Earth. All five beams hit Venom Myotismon, but in different places.
BANG! One hit him square in the shoulder, forcing him back a few steps.
BANG! Another hit his forehead, nearly causing his head to rip off his neck.
BANG! Yet another hit him in the knee, and Venom Myotismon stumbled backwards, nearly getting impaled on the Empire State Building but falling into the Hudson River instead. He stood up, only to meet two more beams of light.
BANG! The fourth, shot by Fry, missed the demon completely.
BANG! The fifth hit him directly in the crotch, and he doubled over and fell into the river again, groaning as if he were in the worst pain imaginable.
"Heeheehee!" giggled Bender. "Look where I got him!"
"BENDER!" scolded Leela. Then her face lightened up. "You're a genius!"
"Beast… within!" exclaimed Zapp from the sidewalk. Because he was crushed by Zoidberg, he fell over unconscious.
Everyone exchanged a confused glance, but then Kif's eyes lit up.
"I remember, the beast within!" he exclaimed. "Being Zapp's right-hand assistant, I've walked in on him when he's watched the Digimon TV series long enough to get acquainted with the characters. Venom Myotismon is the form Myotismon is in right now, and the way the Digi-Destined defeated him was to defeat the 'beast within,' a furry creature that resides in his… erm…" He looked at the ground, then sheepishly pointed downward.
Fry scratched his head. "Uh… what does that mean?"
"It means aim for the gonads and win!" Bender exclaimed. Venom Myotismon had stood up, drenched and more seething mad than ever. He stormed over to them, knocking down everything in his way. He stormed over to the fivesome, but Bender dictated, "Ready? One… two… THREE!"
Five blasts hit the demon where the "beast within" was supposed to be, but all it did was cause the demon to crash into more buildings and hit the ground. Dust rose in the air, and everyone fell over from the earthquake. To their horror, the doomsday devices all broke as they hit the pavement.
"Oh dear!" interjected Professor Farnsworth. "And they were only two days from being patented!"
There was a silence in the air so deafening, the only thing that could be heard was the crumbling of bricks and transportation tubes, each hitting the ground with a bang. Venom Myotismon instantly stood up, no sign of a beast poking out of his lower abdomen.
"HA!" He pointed to the group. "YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVED THAT 'BEAST WITHIN' LEGEND? YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT ANGER ME EVEN MORE! NIGHTMARE CLAW!"
A more potent version of the Nightmare Claw petrified everyone, then hurled them in various directions until they hit buildings. Uncle had just made it to the part about how to destroy Myotismon when a building caught on fire and rained flames on him and the book. The book of spells burst into flames and was reduced to ash.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Uncle, clutching his hair and ripping it out. "ALL MY WORK! ALL MY RESEARCH! RUUUIIIIIIINNNNNEEEEEDDDD!"
The only one who still remained intact was Jackie, who lay next to Leela, who was trapped underneath a pile of bricks.
"Jackie…" groaned Leela, "save… yourself!" She coughed and fell unconscious.
Jackie clenched his teeth, and then he rushed towards Venom Myotismon for one final showdown between them.
Meanwhile, Jade had heard everything and rushed outside, not completely healed…
Jackie confronted Venom Myotismon, and he could barely see the demon's face. "YOU LEAVE MY FRIENDS ALONE!" he shouted.
Venom Myotismon evilly grinned at Jackie, then reached down to pick him off the ground. Jackie tried to sprint away, but he was trapped under the giant hand. The demon grasped Jackie's shirt between his talons, then lifted him off the ground and put him near his face, where Jackie wriggled like a piece of bait on a hook. Jackie was so close, he could see every marking on the mask and every strand of hair that fluttered in his face. The demon's breath smelled like rancid meat.
Jackie swatted at the air. "You MONSTER!" he shouted. "You hurt all of my friends and teammates! You've turned half the world into vampires! And now—"
"I am going to devour you," answered Venom Myotismon, hot air currents rushing around Jackie with every syllable. His booming voice nearly rendered Jackie completely deaf.
"NO! JACKIE!" screamed a tinny voice a hundred feet below the martial-arts master. Jackie hastily glanced downward to see Jade, the Bat Talisman glowing vividly near her feet.
"JADE, NO!" shouted Jackie. "HE'LL GET YOU TOO! DON'T—"
"HOW MANY TIMES MUST I KILL YOU, LITTLE GIRL!" growled Venom Myotismon. Jade squealed and dashed away, grabbing what was now the only existing talisman and barely dodging the crush of the demon's foot. The demon glared at the martial-arts master, who knew he was going to die, and brought him down to his lips. "GOOD HELP IS SO HARD TO FIND THESE DAYS. AM I RIGHT, CHAN?" he boomed, rendering Jackie deaf. Jackie could see every incisor that lined the inside of his great mouth, as well as two yellowing fangs stained with blood. He squirmed, struggling to break free, though he knew he would die from falling a hundred feet to the ground below as well. He was trapped. "IT WILL BE A PLEASURE DEVOURING YOU AND PURGING THE WORLD OF YOUR EXISTENCE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
This was the end for Jackie Chan… what a way to die… swallowed by Venom Myotismon and falling into the pit of his stomach… digested and forgotten, eliminated from the universe… letting Myotismon take over the world and rule with an iron fist…
Jade, witnessing the entire thing, grew furious and decided to take her anger out on the Bat Talisman, which lay innocently on the ground. "This is all YOUR fault!" she accused, kicking the talisman towards the wall of the Planet Express building. It chipped and expelled a small chunk of itself. The glowing ceased.
"WHAT!" Venom Myotismon flinched, taking Jackie away from his mouth and turning to Jade.
It was at that point, Jade realized the key to victory: Myotismon's power derived from the Bat Talisman. If one destroys the talisman, they destroy Myotismon. She ran over to Zapp and grabbed his laser gun. "If you allow me, Captain Brannigan," she told him. She ran back to the talisman and set the beam settings from Hyperdeath to Hyperdeath³. Then she pointed the barrel directly at the talisman and cocked the gun.
"NO… NO!" insisted Venom Myotismon, about to crush Jade.
The black-haired girl pointed the gun directly at the center of the talisman. "This is for Amy!" she declared, pulling the trigger. The gun gave off a blast, and the talisman began to crack in the center. "This is for Jackie!" Once again, there was a blast. The cracks in the talisman grew deeper and wider, and Venom Myotismon was taken by surprise and dropped Jackie. Luckily, Jackie grabbed onto the edge of a skyscraper, edged over to a corner, and slid down a transportation tube.
"PLEASE… LITTLE GIRL… CEASE WHAT YOU ARE DOING, I C-COMMAND YOU!"
"And this?" Jade looked up at Venom Myotismon's pleading eyes, and she decided to show no mercy. "This is for the universe! May it never be dominated by the likes of you!"
The gun wound up for one final shot. Jade squeezed the trigger, and suddenly the talisman shattered into hundreds of pieces, all hurtling through the air before dissolving into nothingness.
"NO!" screamed Venom Myotismon, clutching his chest and leaning backwards. There was a supernova of white light, with fireworks exploding around and above him. He let out a final scream, and the entire city was bathed in white light for a brief second, and suddenly the light died down. The sky over New New York had become a vibrant sunset, and the fog had finally dissipated. Voices arose from the demolished buildings and the street, uttering murmurs of "What just happened?" "Where was I just now?" "Why is everything destroyed?" All over, people stood up, rubbed their heads, and glanced around.
"Jade…" murmured Jackie, who had been lying on the ground. He touched Jade's cheek and exclaimed, "You did it, Jade… you saved the universe!"
Jade's eyes widened. "I did, didn't I?" She stood on a pile of rubble and announced to everyone, "I did it! I, Jade Chan, destroyed Myotismon and saved the universe!"
Uncle limped up to Jackie, clutching a passage with charred edges that had been spared when his book burst into flames. "JACKIIIIEEEEE!" he exclaimed. "I found the solution to defeating Myotismon! You see, his power rests not in his physical form, but the Bat Talisman! As it glows red, he becomes even more powerful! The only way to defeat Myotismon for good is not to destroy him, but destroy the talisman!"
"Uh, Uncle…" murmured Jackie. He pointed at the sky, then to Jade, who was in the middle of a victory dance.
Uncle cracked a smile. "Ah. Myotismon has been destroyed."
"With the help of WEAPONS!" exclaimed the professor. "She pointed a LASER GUN at the talisman and destroyed it."
"You are forgetting that the talisman is MAGIIIIIC!" cried Uncle, waving his arms around. "She did not just point the gun and fire randomly like Captain Brannigan over theeeeere!"
Kif, staring dreamily at the change, exclaimed, "Amy!" He dashed inside the building, which had remained intact throughout the entire showdown, followed by Jade, then Professor Farnsworth and Uncle (who were still arguing over whether it was magic or weapons), then Fry and Zoidberg, then Bender and Zapp bringing up the rear.
Jackie knelt over Leela, who lay unconscious underneath the bricks. It was not enough to kill her immediately, but it would if they remained on her for that long. He hurled bricks off the pile until finally uncovering his one-eyed queen. He hoped that she was not dead, but he ignored everything but his heart, kissing her directly on the lips.
Suddenly, Leela's eye opened. "Jackie?" she whispered.
"Leela! You're alive!" exclaimed Jackie.
"Yes, Myotismon was defeated. Thanks to Jade."
Back inside the Planet Express building, everyone gathered around the couch.
Amy, like Leela, remained motionless. Suddenly, a white mist floated through her mouth, and immediately her cheeks grew pinker and her eyelids fluttered. She inhaled, opening her eyes to refeal dark, glittering pools of life. "Wha… where am I?" she asked. "Where's… Myotismon?"
"Myotismon is dead," replied Jackie. "Jade destroyed him for good."
"AMY!" exclaimed Kif, before Amy could say anything else. He leapt on top of the intern and kissed her passionately, feeling happier than he had ever been in his life. "SHE'S ALIVE! Can you believe it? MY AMY IS ALIVE!" He stood up and brought Amy with him, and the two embraced as if they had been worlds apart.
"Still miss Myotismon?" wondered Fry.
Amy made a disgusted face. "Gluck! No way! He may have been handsome on the outside, but inside he's just some spleazeball who would rather suck blood and kill people rather than make love to me. But Kif, on the other hand…"
Kif beamed, obviously flattered. But before he could say anything else, Zapp pushed him out of the way and towards the door. "Come, Kif, our work here is done, so let's go! The Nimbus awaits! By the way, it's been a good three days since my armpits were last shaved." He took out a razor and clicked his tongue.
The amphibian groaned loudly, glancing back at Amy as his captain led him out the door. Sure enough, the Nimbus was parked outside.
"Godspeed, Kif," Jade said, saluting. "Godspeed."
Kif saluted back at Jade before disappearing.
The following night, Jackie, Jade, Uncle, Captain Black, and the Planet Express crew sat around the conference table and braced themselves for Bender's "celebratory dinner" in honor of defeating Myotismon. Much to Uncle's disgust, he sat next to Professor Farnsworth, and their rivalry was still going strong.
"I say VH1 is the best music channel!" insisted the professor.
"AND UNCLE SAY TV ROTS YOUR BRAIN!" argued Uncle.
"OK, break it up, you two," said Leela and Jackie, who were holding hands with each other.
Bender emerged with a silver platter underneath a silver dome, then placed it in the center of the tabletop. "Bon appetit, jerks!" he exclaimed before taking the lid off. There was nothing there but a pizza, which was still in its greasy box.
"Heyyyyyyyy, why is there a box that says 'Joe's Pizzeria' on it for dinner?" questioned Fry.
Bender hung his head. "I tried to make Chicken A La King, but we were out of kings, so I had to go with Plan B!"
Everyone took a slice (except Zoidberg, who was once again left with the box), and were about to dig in when the videophone rang twice. Lrrr and Ndnd appeared on the screen, and everyone was so startled they dropped their slices.
"Greetings, indicted humans!" greeted Lrrr. "I am LRRR of the planet Omicron Persei—"
"Geez, we all know who you are!" exclaimed Fry. "Just get to the part where we die already."
"No, no, no!" interrupted Lrrr. "It's not like that at all. You guys… defeated Myotismon within three days. But it's OK, since I like cheese fries better than humans, anyway. Just don't tell the guards. And now, I shall fax you your reward! Have a good eternity! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" There was a pause, and they remained on the screen. Finally, Lrrr spoke up again. "Gods, I hate having to suck it in!"
"Well, Lrrr, if you would just eat salads once in a while—" spoke up Ndnd before the signal was cut off.
A white envelope came out of a small slit beneath the TV screen.
"Oh boy!" exclaimed Fry, yanking it out. "I hope it's cash, or maybe the keys to a ThunderCougarFalconBird!" He ripped off the top of the envelope and took out a small slip of paper. Fry examined it, then looked disgusted. "Ten percent off your next purchase at Bed, Bath, & Beyond!" he groaned, hurling the envelope to the table. "This is crap!"
Leela paged through the small selection of useless coupons. "At least it's better than death. Well, not this one." She crumpled up a coupon that read, "One free Teletubbies DVD at the Prehistoric Antique Shop."
"Eh, yes yes yes," said the professor. "Now let's all eat our Chicken A La King before it gets eaten by Dr. Zoidb—" He looked at his plate which had no food on it.
Zoidberg slurped contentedly, licking his mouth flaps. "A box AND a pizza! This is Zoidberg's lucky day, it is!"
After dinner was finished, everyone (yes, even Hermes and Scruffy) watched the evening news intently, searching for their news story. Morbo and Linda were on the screen at the moment, accompanied by a photo of several factory workers. Linda looked cheerful as usual, but Morbo was crying into a handkerchief.
"And that…" the moster sniffled into a tissue, trying to hold back tears, "…is why… the… the generous…" Morbo blew his nose, "…the g… generous workers at… Glagnar's Human Rinds are… Morbo's… VerminoftheWeek!" Morbo burst into tears, turning away from the camera. "The human race was SO close to extinction, and Morbo missed it all!" he wailed.
Linda laughed. "Ahahahaha. And now for our top story. For the past three days, the entire universe was threatened by an evil vampire who went by the name of Myotismon. Myotismon caused destruction in New New York so terrible, everyone will be chipping in to rebuild it all over again! We'll be doing follow-ups until we interview everyone whose family members have died, or until New New York is rebuilt, whichever comes last. Ahahahahaha. And now, we go live to the Kennedy Center, where President Richard M. Nixon's head will announce the recipient of an award of great honor, an award which will go to whoever made Myotismon meet his doom."
Leela and Jackie grinned at Jade, giving her the thumbs-up. Everyone leaned in closely, watching and listening intently. On the screen was a close-up of Richard Nixon's head in a jar, along with the words "LIVE" and "Kennedy Center" on the bottom. The words disappeared, but Nixon's head remained.
"My fellow Earthicans," he addressed into hundreds of oddly-shaped microphones, "it gives me great pleasure to announce that the vampire hippie is no more." Applause. The screen zoomed out to reveal Nixon's head on top of a podium, surrounded by a banquet table on stage that was occupied by several government officials. "And now I will award the hero, to announce the hero's name so that it may be heard by all. And that hero, the one who singlehandedly defeated Myotismon, is…"
Jade grinned and closed her eyes. She would become famous!
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!" Jade squawked. "But… but I… he didn't…"
Zapp took his place at the podium after forcing Nixon's head off. A Secret Service member caught the head-in-a-jar, and another one placed a hubcap-sized medal around the captain's neck. There was applause and a standing ovation, but Jade pouted the entire time. The only one who clapped in the Planet Express was Fry. When Zoidberg joined in, Fry abruptly stopped.
"You'd think defeating a vampire would be a job fit for… say, Jackie Chan," said Zapp. The audience laughed. "But no, it was I. How did I do it? I flew alone in the Cumulus, dodging space banditos and carnivorous blind space slugs, and with my deductive reasoning, knew he would be on Nightmarion 5. The Cumulus crashed, but I braved my own worst nightmare and made it up to Myotismon's castle. There, I discovered the source of his power: the Bat Talisman. I saved three innocent souls from his henchmen and chased Myotismon back to New New York. I blasted the Bat Talisman apart with my laser gun, and that was the end of him! Another job well-done by me, Zapp Brannigan!"
The crowd broke out in tumultuous applause, and then there was another standing ovation.
"Personally, I never cared for Myotismon," the captain continued. "He was an evil scumbag who tried to seduce the famous Amy Wong and make her do his dirty work. Plus, his choice of clothing was borg-ee-oiiiiii… whaa? I can't pronounce THIS! Uh… his clothes sucked."
"It's pronounced 'buzh-wah,' you dumbass," muttered Leela over the pronunciation of "bourgeoise."
The bodyguard carried Nixon's head up to Zapp, and Nixon declared, "Another job well-done indeed, Captain Brannigan. And to reward you, I've used everyone's tax dollars to buy this for you. Let's see the Democrats do something like this!"
The curtain behind them rose to reveal another mini-spacecraft that looked like an updated version of the Cumulus. This had a more pointed shape, larger windows, and a shinier exterior. On the side, the words "The Cirrus" were written in raised letters.
Zapp gasped, then squealed like a schoolgirl. He ran up to the spaceship and embraced its nose. "Oh, Mr. President, you've made me the happiest girl in the world! I mean… captain. The happiest captain in the world!"
At that point, Fry turned off the TV and shrugged. "Meh, he wanted it more." All of a sudden, some dramatic closing chords began to fade into the background.
"Eh, good news, everyone!" exclaimed the professor. "It seems that the movie is about to conclude!"
Jackie, Jade, Uncle, and Captain Black all got up to leave as the Whatif Machine began to glow bright white. Outside, Fry could see Uncle's Rare Finds dissolving. "You mean… you're leaving?" he asked.
"Spluh," replied Jade, a la Amy. "We can't stay here forever, you know! All my friends are back at school, and I can't wait to tell them about this!"
"Yes," added Jackie. "We're going back to San Francisco, and we're going to live in Section 13 again. Uncle will still be managing his antique shop. Plus, you can call us whenever you want, I guess."
"No they can't," asserted Captain Black.
"Goodbye, Jackie," said Leela quietly. She walked up to Jackie and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I'm really going to miss you."
"Me too," added Fry.
"Me too," added everyone else except the professor. Zoidberg began to bawl and say something about friends.
"Well, GO!" barked the professor. "I'm tired of looking at Uncle!"
Jackie, Uncle, and Captain Black stepped into the light and disappeared instantly.
Jade began to make her way over to where the others had been, then she turned around and ran back to where the Planet Express crew was standing. "WAIT!" she shouted. She rummaged through her sweatshirt pocket and pulled out a Melvin pencil. "This is so you don't forget me." She gave it to Fry.
"Aw…" Fry stared back at the eraser, which was shaped like the cartoon moose's head. "You're so sweet!" He stuck it into one of the back pockets of his jeans.
"Well, bye!" Jade dashed into the light, disappearing and leaving the Planet Express crew alone. Everything was back to normal again.
Everyone looked at each other as the concluding chords grew louder, longer, and more dramatic. A camera panned out from the crew, through the window until there was a shot of the Planet Express building, then out to New New York, then Earth, then the solar system, then a cluster of stars that became the Milky Way Galaxy, and then a shot of galaxies placed in a formation that looked exactly like the Bat Talisman.
Everything faded to black.
The black was on the screen of the Whatif Machine, which reverted back to its normal psychadelic screen saver. Fry, Leela, Bender, Zoidberg, Amy, Hermes, and the professor stared at it for a second, then sighed.
"So that's what would have happened if Zoidberg had $25," mused Leela. "That was really interesting, but I'm glad he's poor!"
"And it was so vivid!" exclaimed Amy. "It felt so real!"
"Yes yes yes," said the professor. "You see, I installed surround sound the other day."
"Well I wish it had been real," declared Fry. "Then we could have actually gone to a cool planet and fought space banditos and vampires and digital monsters!"
"Well it's NOT real!" snapped Farnsworth. "Live with it! Oh my, that reminds me, you and Leela and Bender still have to deliver those 10,000 letters to Santabot on Neptune. Now get the hell out of here in five minutes or I'll take away your bathroom privileges!" He stormed out of the invention room, followed by Zoidberg, Amy, and Hermes. Leela and Bender turned to leave, but Fry remained in front of the Whatif Machine.
"Go on ahead," said Fry. "I'll be right there."
Leela and Bender shrugged, then left. The delivery boy remained behind for one more minute, staring wistfully at the blank screen of the Whatif Machine. After what had seemed like an eternity, Fry followed the rest of the crew outside. The end of a Melvin pencil poked out of the back pocket of his jeans.