The REAL Dark World

Harry, Hermione, Ron, Sirius, and Remus all go to the Dark World to defeat Lord Voldemort. Minor Romance, and LOTS of comedy! I own VERY few things in this story ( oh well! I'll live! Enjoy! OOC warning, but it's the funny type!!


16-year-old's Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley all stood in front of a train station with Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, two of their close friends.

"Harry love, are you sure we're supposed to get to the Dark World on a train?" Hermione asked her boyfriend, looking over his shoulder and the paper in his hand.

"Yes sweetie, I'm POSITIVE! It reads:

Dear Harry and friends

Please take the five o' clock train to the Dark World. It's through the barrier and on platform 9 ¾. There should be a all black train waiting for you! The tickets are right here! Have a nice and safe ride!


Lord Voldemort and friends

That's what it said." Harry said to them, folding u the letter and placing it in his cloak pocket. They all shrugged and walked through the barrier, looking at the black train in front of the. As soon as they took one step towards it, the doors opened and out emerged a bunch of smoke. A hooded figure stood there and held up a sign that said 'Please enter train'. The five all walked inside and as soon as they entered the compartment, they sat down on the cold benches and handed the man their tickets. Hermione curled up to Harry, cold. The train started moving at a sudden jerk that almost forced Remus and Sirius out of their seats. For a while, they rode in silence because it was dark and they couldn't see. Finally, the train stopped.

"Please hold on tight as we enter the Dark World! Thank you!" Said a preppy voice over the intercom. They all shrugged and held on tight as the train jetted forward. At last, the train made a final stop. They all got off the train and looked at the tall black, moss covered metal gate in front of them, fog coming from all around. At the gate was a figure that looked like the Grim Weeper.

"What do you want?" Said a scary voice. The four pushed Harry forward. Harry gulped and stood in front of the man.

"I'm Harry- Harry Potter. I'm here to defeat Lord Voldemort." Harry said bravely. Suddenly, the Grim Weeper changed into a preppy looking business guy with a light blue tuxedo, slick golden hair, and a shinny smile.

"Good evening Mr. Potter! I'm Chuck, the Dark World guard! If you would all please sign here that tells us how many witches and wizard enter our world daily and sign some more papers with not so good stuff printed in small print, you can be on your way!" The man smiled and handed them some pens and a load of papers. After what seemed like an hour, Hermione signed the last signature on the papers and handed it to the man.

"Thank you for your time! Now please take these glowy sticks for a nice little souvenir so you'll always remember your visit! I'll see you as soon as you're out! Bye-bye now!" Chuck waved, still smiling his cheeky smile, and the gate opened. As soon as it closed, the gate was gone and everyone looked forward. Hermione gasped. The whole place was bare. The road was dirty and the buildings where too.

"Where do we go?" Ron asked, looking around. Hermione pointed to one of the street signs. On it read 'Voldemort's house'. They all walked down the road and looked at the large, run down house. Hey opened the creaky gate and walked onto the porch. Harry rang the doorbell and they all listened the haunting music until a scary looked butler opened the door. When they entered they where in shook. All around the room where cute little animals and happy paintings. They walked up the perfectly white stairs and walked around until they heard a voice. They all walked to a door that was hardly opened, but it was open enough for the all the see. In it were Lord Voldemort, the Malfoy's, and some other Slytherin's. But what was the most scary was that they where each holding a cute, fluffy bunny.

"Now, Draco, why don't you tell us how you feel now that you have a bunny." Lord Voldemort said in a scary, preppy voice. Draco got up, holding his bunny in his hands, lovingly stroking it.

"Well, before I got Bubbles, I was lonely and didn't know what to do with my hate. But now that I have her, I'm happy and I just feel so close to my father and my fellow classmates." Draco said, biting back tears.

"Draco, I think you can go deeper than that." Voldemort said to him. Draco looked at his bunny and smiled at it.

"Well, actually, I've found out more about me than ever. I've begun to notice the sweet scent of flowers and the cute way the birds chirp. I've also come to realize that muggles are the nicest people ever!" Draco said. Everyone clapped and Draco sat down.

"Now, how many of us feel like we can relate to him." Voldemort asked. Everyone raised their hands. "That's good. We can now move on to the next faze which is when you get to play with little homeless kids. Now how many of us would like that?" Voldemort asked. Once again, everyone raised their hands.

"Oh my god I can't stand it anymore!" Hermione said, storming into the room, the other's behind her. "What is WRONG with you people!?" Hermione screamed at them. Everyone stood up and looked at them.

"Well, we've all given up fighting. If you would like to discuss it calmly, we could." Voldemort suggested to her.

"CALMLY! You're the reason why I won't have a mother-in-law at my wedding or a father-in-law to go to when I need to talk about Harry!" Hermione screamed.

"Yeah! If it wasn't for you, I would have parents!" Harry joined in.

"What do you mean? Lily and James have been on vacation for years! They're coming back tomorrow. We're planning a welcome home party for them." Crabbe said.

"OMG! You've all gone crazy! KILL SOMEONE ALREADY! C'MON!" The five all said at once. Draco and four other people came u to them and handed them bunnies.

"You need these more than we do." Draco said, his hand on Ron's shoulder.

"I think you need a potion or something." Remus said, eyebrow raised at Draco's kindness.

"We only make love potions! We are going to speared love around the world! Help us, join us!" The group said in a zombie way, the bunnies saying it with them.

"NNNNNNNOOOOO!" Hermione screamed, sitting up in her bed. She looked over at Harry and Ron who where at her house, sleeping over. They where all up as well, the three drenched in sweat.

"Bunnies and happiness?" Harry asked her. Hermione nodded. He hugged her and stroked her hair and she began to cry. "Don't worry, it won't ever happen. It was all a VERY bad dream." Harry soothed.

"I hope so." Hermione said. Just then, a bunny popped into her room.

"I wuv you." it said in a scary tone. The trio all screamed and run out of the house.

"Harry, don't EVER mention bunnies to me again!" Hermione said as they hid in a box in an alley. Both boys nodded and they all fell asleep, unaware of the evil bunnies watching them.

-End! Yup! That's it! it is for my pure humor! You can review but NO FLAMES! Thank for reading!