Written for the Writers Anonymous All Dialogue Challenge


"So."

"Huh?"

"What did you catch?"

"A Marill."

"A Marill? Seriously? You've dragged us all the way to the depths of the cave just to hunt a freaking Marill?"

"No, I came down to hunt whatever I could get. You just happened to come around."

"Happened to come around? Are you serious? You seriously think I can not go where you do?"

"Happened to come around, got dragged, had no other option but to come with me... The end result is the same. Does it really matter which words I use?"

"Of course it does, you idiot! There's a huge difference between me coming freely and me coming because I couldn't not come!"

"Yeah, whatever. Nothing's gonna change anyway. Just gonna enjoy my Marill meal and then we can go wherever you want to. How's that?"

"Oh, great. It works great for me. You know what? I'm gonna hunt an Excadrill right now, and I'm not gonna share it with you. Not even one bite"

"Well, if that's what you want... Just let me finish this Marill and we'll be on our way, OK?"


"You smell that?"

"The crap that you've got to have inside your brain to think you can hunt an Excadrill? I sure smell it."

"No, you idiot! I mean the Excadrill! There's one nearby."

"I know. I smell it too."

"And I'm gonna have it for lunch. Hey, what's that laugh supposed to mean?"

"You're not goint to hunt it. Face it. It can escape by digging, I'm sure it knows good moves, you've got a double type disadvantage... The worst that can happen to you is that it gets away and leaves you unscathed."

"You doubting me? You seriously saying I can't fight and kill it?"

"That's exactly what I am saying."

"OK, you know what? You just crossed the line. Stay back. Just pay attention to what's going to happen."


"I must say that was truly impressive. I already knew that Excadrill would destroy you, but I'd never thought it would need just two seconds."

"Shut up. Just shut up."

"You can thank your luck too that that Horn Drill just grazed your cheek scales. If it had got a hit on your face, you'd already be dead."

"I told you to shut up."

"Sorry, but not gonna happen. Want to go outside and look for Audia? Get that wound looked at and see if she's up for some action?"

"Hah, I'm not in the mood for that. And that Audino nurse is a whore anyway."

"Since when have you cared about that?"

"Dunno. Guess it always made me somewhat uncomfortable. Don't know, knowing so many pokémon have also been with her... When I think about it, something inside me just doesn't agree with it."

"You know, I've never heard you complaining before about that."

"Won't you just shut up?"

"I certainly don't mind. If she wants to be with other pokémon, it's her life."

"Says the guy who would do a pokémon trainer if he had the chance."

"It's curiosity more than anything, actually."

"You'd seriously do it? That's sick, dude."

"Humans say they descend from some monkey-like ancient pokémon. I don't see the problem. It would actually be like sleeping with another pokémon species."

"Whatever. I don't need to see Audia. I'll just have an Oran berry or whatever."

"Yeah, that's a great idea. We can get one from the magic Oran Berry tree that grows in the dark of our cave. Or maybe from the imaginary trees outside?"

"We'll steal it from a Trainer pack, you sarcastic imbecile."

"That's actually a much better plan, if what you want is to end inside a poké ball."

"Have I ever told you you are an idiot?"

"You have. Many times."


"Hey."

"Huh?"

"Have you ever thought about the future?"

"Oh, come on. You couldn't have asked when we were out hunting instead of trying to sleep, could you?"

"Possibly."

"So why are you asking now?"

"Because the thought just came to me."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"... OK, I give in. What the heck got you so anxious over the future?"

"I would not say I'm anxious. Just uncertain."

"I don't care how you feel about it. Speak up now or lose the chance forever."

"Well... You know, I was thinking... What's going to happen after we evolve?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Well... You know... What's going to happen to us? I mean, we are two, but you know, Hydreigon..."

"Shoot."

"You know... How does that even work? We both get fused into one head? One of us dies while the other lives? What... What is going to happen to us?"

"... I don't know."

"Me neither. And that's what frightens me."

"You? You are afraid of evolving? The calm guy? The one who never loses his head? You're pulling my leg, right?"

"No, I'm not. It's just... What if we evolve and I suddenly disappear? What if our brains get together into one? What would that make us? A pokémon with two different minds at the same time? A completely different pokémon that has nothing to do with us?"

"... Shoot. When you put it that way..."

"It's scary, right?"

"Totally."

"Not knowing what our fate will be... Thinking that one day, one of us or both might be gone forever..."

"Now, wasn't there a magical stone that didn't let a pokémon evolve?"

"So I've heard. But I'm not sure about that. I think it's just a rumour."

"You don't know? The know-it-all doesn't know? Are you serious?"

"I am. I heard it from a released pokémon, but I can't say if it's true. And anyway, where would we find one? Stealing it from a trainer?"

"Yeah, guess you're right."

"So, huh... Guess we'll find out when we evolve, right?"

"Yeah... I guess so."

"Hey."

"Huh?"

"In case I end up disappearing after evolving..."

"What?"

"I just wanted to tell you... you're the best body partner a Zweilous head could ask for."

"So are you. So are you."


Zweilous is a bicephalous pokémon, whereas its evolution Hydreigon, according to the pokédex, has three heads, two of which have no brain.