A/N: Done for the FFVII Anon Kink Meme (which makes this me UnAnoning :D). The prompt was Zack/Reno- Playful Dudebro Sex.

I like watching men with other men. I watched several cheesy-as-fuck first time bff mansex pornos and had such a ball laughing that I had to do this. Also, I'm a pussy. Took me a few months to actually post even though I started it and finished back in July along with 4 other kink meme fics that I may or may not post. It's pretty much AU and modern setting-most should notice a particularly popular movie line tossed in several times.

Also, Unbeta'd.


Movie night was always predictable in the fact that it always ended in an unpredictable manner. That element was what Zack Fair considered to be the best part of his little get togethers; his friends often accused him of loving the chaos of the event more than them. In any case, normal movie nights usually consisted of a choice few of Zack's closest friends, where a movie was picked at random that was either horribly cliche, horribly sad, or full of explosions that made no sense whatsoever.

Tonight, however, it looked like it was going to be just himself and Reno, since the others had all unceremoniously bailed on the two of them. His sort-of girlfriend Aerith was out of town at the request of some uppity celebrity who just couldn't wait for a consultation on her million-gil wedding's floral arrangement, so he had tried to rally his friends to help cheer him up and take his mind off a week of no Aerith (and no sex).

Tried being the operative word here.

"Sorry Zack, but Genesis really wants to go see this new production today. Maybe if it ends at a reasonable time we'll come over," Angeal said apologetically, and Zack already knew that Angeal wouldn't be coming because Genesis totally dictated everything that Angeal did. Hell, the instant Genesis even suspected something had caught Angeal's attention more than him, the smaller man demanded and threw fits for his attention until the big softie caved. Zack would know; Angeal had been his training officer for the force until his retirement, and Genesis had practically snarled at him every time they locked eyes.

"It's cool," He groaned. He wasn't happy about it, but he understood.

"Oi! Stop pouting, Officer Doofus!" his friend said through a mouthful of popcorn. "We can still have fun without those losers, yo!"

Zack glared at his friend from his slumped position on his hideously puke green loveseat (which he'd bought solely to aggravate his sort-of girlfriend) and crammed a mouthful of chips into his mouth. "Says you," he muttered sullenly. "You guys were all supposed to be here cheering me up, and now look!" His other hand swung in a gesture meant to encompass the two of them and the empty chairs in his living room. "Ciss and Rude are pretending to be on stakeout while trying to choke each other with their tongues, Cloud and Seph are making nerdy eyes at each other over cases and reports at the office, and Gen and Angeal are going on a date," he said with mock disgust. "They'll probably go home and tie each other up and try reenacting every gay porno in existence," he grumbled before taking a deep swig of his beer.

"Gaaaayyyy," Reno drawled lazily as he chugged his own beer.

"Seriously, man," Zack agreed, halfheartedly eyeing an explosion on the television. "Sometimes I think gay dudes have more fun than me and my girl. She seems so innocent. I don't think she'd ever go for some of the X-rated shit Genesis and Angeal talk about. I'm terrified to scare her off. Fuck, the one time I reamed her, she was giving me weird looks for a week."

"Awww," Reno cooed with a snicker. "Does wittle Zacky want some butt?" The redhead wiggled his eyebrows at his dark haired friend before half lifting from his chair and giving his ass a little shake.

Zack scoffed and threw a couch pillow at his friend. "Not even if I was gay, dude," he said with snort. A sly grin suddenly crossed his face. "Besides, you have a such a skinny little pale ass. Mine looks way better," he teased.

Both of Reno's eyebrows lifted. "You checkin' out my ass, Fair?"

"No way!"

"It's ok, man," Reno began, voice full of mock sincerity, "I understand hanging out with all these gay couples all the time might be rubbing off a bit on you, bro. I fully support-ACK!"

Zack sneered from his perch atop Reno as his lithe friend grunted under his weight and tried to recover from Zack's rather abrupt pounce. "Asshole!"

"Can't...have it…" Reno wheezed.

"Fuck you," Zack growled and rolled off his friend with a haughty sniff.

A thin red brow arched. "Is that an invitation?"

Both men looked at each other for a long moment. "Ha! Gaaaayyyy!" they crowed simultaneously with matching grins.

For a moment there was nothing but silence only occasionally broken by Reno's smartassed commentary or Zack's hearty laughter at a particularly cheesy scene as the two friends settled down next to each other and continued watching the shitty action movie Zack had purchased. It wasn't until the end of the movie after a particularly heartening scene where the two male protagonists did a full on hug that Reno finally shattered the silence.

"Shit man, they so wanna bone. Look at em practically fighting not to kiss."

Zack turned his head and frowned at Reno, his blue eyes gleaming with confusion. "The fuck? They just took down a terrorist together and thought they were gonna die. What's wrong with a hug, dude?"

"No, man the actors! Can't you tell? Besides, those two are gay in real life."

Zack stared at the tv, even though the scene had ended and it had long since moved on to the credits. "Wouldn't you be happy if your partner survived getting his ass blasted to smithereens?" he wondered curiously.

Reno raised both hands. "Whoa, whoa, whoa , man. Rude and I got a strictly professional relationship. I mean, yeah, we gotta do some shady shit and a bit of acting in our profession, but that's all it is. Cissnei would have my balls if I did anything to make the big guy really uncomfortable."

Zack snickered as he imagined the tiny female federal agent in full rant mode going after Reno with guns blazing to protect her big bald boyfriend.

Zack watched a sly grin cross his friend's face and immediately narrowed his eyes in response. "Besides, haven't you and Cloud known each other for like, forever? I'm sure you guys have done some pretty racy stuff together," Reno drawled, his eyes daring Zack to lie.

Zack cleared his throat in discomfort. "Uh," was all he managed before he looked away and sipped on his beer for a moment.

Reno, like the bloodhound he was, immediately locked onto the response. "Oh shit, for real?! What'd you guys do?!"

Zack wrinkled his nose before a dull flush snuck up his neck. "I did a circle jerk with Cloud and Seph once before I realized they were gay," he confessed before clamping his lips shut.

Reno crowed with laughter, leaving Zack to swat at him ineffectually before the redhead finally managed to calm himself. "Shit, Fair, don't scare me like that man. You had me thinking you gave Cloud head or something. Circle jerks aren't gay, dude, I've done that shit with a bunch of other dudes, especially in basic. Hell, if you don't do it at least once you're not secure in your masculinity, you know?"

"Who the fuck told you that shit?" Zack wondered, gazing at Reno with incredulous blue eyes. "That's super fucking gay, man!"

"Nah, it's only gay if your balls touch," Reno said cheekily.

Zack guffawed at him and the two settled back into silence, only this time, it was a bit more thoughtful as they finished off their beers.

Again, it was Reno who broke the silence. "So...did you guys ever touch balls?" he wondered.

"N-no fucking way!" Zack spluttered, even as he frantically searched his hazy memories. "No!" he reaffirmed, just in case Reno got any ideas.

"Alright, alright, calm your tits, Fairy."

"Fuck you!"

"You'd like that wouldn't you?"

"This is exactly fucking why I didn't wanna have just you here, asshole," Zack grumbled as Reno laughed and went to go pick out another movie out for them to watch.

"Oh, c'mon, I'm just fucking with you. I know you've got your girl; don't be so goddamn sensitive, Fair." After a moment of digging, Reno finally found what he was looking for and triumphantly waved the DVD in the air. "Besides, if the others were here, they'd be offended if they watched this with us," he added slyly.

Zack squinted at the cover. "What is it?"

"Porn," was Reno's proud reply. "The good shit from Candy's collection."

"Oh daaamnnnn," Zack moaned. "This is gonna be fucking epic."


The sound of flesh on flesh permeated the room, followed closely by wild, obscene feminine moaning and harsh grunting. Zack was slumped on the couch next to his friend with a hand wrapped around his dick and was eagerly pumping himself along with the breathy moans of the voluptuous pornstar who was currently getting pounded into a mattress on screen.

From his peripheral vision, he could see Reno's pale fingers gliding over his own cock as blue eyes gazed at the television reverently. Every now and then, his friend would give himself a particularly hard stroke and his breath would hitch, which broke Zack's concentration.

At some point, the two of them had decided to hell with subtlety and had just opened their jeans instead of just sticking their hands down their pants, which was both weird and strangely exciting. A thin layer of sweat gleamed on Reno's upper lip, and unconsciously, Zack found himself licking his own lips as his eyes focused on his friend's mouth. The other man gave a guttural moan and arched up a bit into his own touch, causing Zack's eyes to stray to his friend's flushed dick in curiosity.

For a long while he just stared as the two of them jerked off together, their hands eerily in unison with the pounding of flesh on the television until another obscenely loud moan brought him back to reality. Once he realized just who and what he was staring at, Zack clenched his jaw and firmly scolded himself for looking at another dude while he was trying to jerk off and closed his eyes to try and get back into his previous state of dreamlike arousal. It was harder than he thought it would be, now that he was a bit unnerved from his stupid curiosity.

Stupid gay impulses and stupid gay Reno...

There was a faint displacement of air and the couch moved a bit, then warm hands closed around his own startling him into snapping his eyes open with a surprised grunt. Mischievous blue eyes glittered at him from between messy red bangs, and Zack blinked in astonishment as he felt Reno knock his hands loose so that he could take over.

"The fuck are you doing?!" Zack finally managed, once the shock had worn off. It still came out a lot breathier than he wanted it to, but it was hard to concentrate with those slender hands wrapped around him and tugging on him just the way he liked it. Damn, Reno was way too good at that.

Unperturbed, Reno tsked at him and grinned. "You've done this before with Cloudy and Seph haven't you?" The baleful stare he got in response didn't bother him in the least. "Don't be a pussy, I'm just helping you out, man. Besides, no one has to know you got a little brojob."

An artful flick of Reno's wrist had Zack groaning. He wasn't supposed to be liking this was he? But damn if his body could find a reason to protest the treatment it was receiving; if anything he was hard pressed to not start thrusting into Reno's hands like a horny teenager. It didn't help that those blue eyes were watching him with an intensity that reminded him of Cloud's, who Zack trusted with his own life in all matters requiring secrecy.

"If you tell anyone, I'll kick your ass," Zack managed as he shakily reached out to grasp Reno's dick to return the favor. Determined, he turned his head and refused to look at what he was doing and instead resolved only to feel before he freaked and talked himself out of this.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Officer Fairy," Reno hissed as Zack began lightly and hesitantly sliding his thumb across the head of his cock. "s' not like we're gay or anything, right?."

"Right," Zack echoed, fascinated despite himself at the way blue eyes fluttered as his friend jerked his hips into Zack's touch. "Don't you dare fucking kiss me though, you dick."

"Hell no," Reno grunted as they both increased the pace, working one another over. Zack gave Reno a few good jerks that he normally used to push himself over the edge and was rewarded with the redhead's stifled yet heartfelt curse. His friend retaliated by teasingly squeezing him and rolling his fingers on the underside of his cock. It felt so fucking good and he was so busy enjoying himself that Zack almost missed Reno's next statement. "Kissing another dude is hella gay, man. Even fucking one isn't that bad."

Zack stilled his hand as his face screwed up in confusion. Reno protested as Zack turned his head to eye his friend incredulously. "How is fucking another dude not gay?" He eyed the redhaired man for a moment curiously, taking in the sheepish expression and half curled smirk on his face. "You...are you saying you fucked another dude before?"

Reno shrugged and looked away with a faint smile. "It's just like doing it with a chick, except some guys enjoy it more, y'know? They got that thing that girls don't have or some shit."

"Prostate," Zack filled in automatically, his mind racing at the implications. "So you...wait, so if we fucked right now, we wouldn't be considered gay?"

"Nah, man, it's cool," came the instant response. "Why? Did you wanna try it out?"

Zack stared at Reno in disbelief. "Who do you get this shit from again?"

"Coupla guys I know. It's all in the attraction, man; just like smoking once or twice doesn't make you a habitual smoker, experimenting with other dudes once or twice doesn't make us gay," Reno said sagely. "And we'd still be bros at the end of the day." At Zack's thoughtful silence, his face became expectant. "Well? You up for something different or you gonna chicken out?"

"I…" He was pretty sure the discomfort on his face was obvious to the redhead, but seriously, how the fuck was he supposed to answer that? Was it really that bad if he just tried it? he wondered, glancing at Reno's expectant face out of the corner of his eye. Plenty of his friends were gay so there had to be some fun in it, but what about his girl? How would she handle him telling her he'd had gay sex with one of his good buddies?

Reno's hand landed on his shoulder jolting him from his thoughts. "Hey man, it's cool if you're scared. You don't gotta do it. I just thought you'd wanna have something to spice up your relationship with your girl, y'know? Doesn't being so vanilla get a little boring?"

Loyalty to Aeris stayed his verbal agreement, but the fact that he was even considering this was worrying. As if sensing his wavering, Reno raised his eyebrows and said, "Just try it man. I'll even let you top if you want since I've done this before."

Still, Zack was indecisive; all of this was pretty suspect-was he getting punk'd?-but maybe if he learned how to do this better with Reno he could try it again with Aeris and not mess up this time. And Reno had said it was all in the attraction…

Fuck it.

"Alright," he agreed, much to Reno's delight. "But if it gets too weird and I say stop, we stop. Got it?"

Reno grinned. "Sure thing."

Once Zack made up his mind about something, it was almost impossible to get him to change it without some pretty heavy persuasion or prodding at his sense of curiosity and adventure. To Reno's delight, this was also the case as his dark haired friend hurriedly skimmed out of the rest of his clothes at Reno's urging. The redhead scooted back on the couch then spread his legs and bent himself in an amazing demonstration of flexibility that Zack could honestly admit that he found himself admiring. If he hadn't already been half hard from earlier, the sight of Reno's slim, athletic form on display like this would probably have done the job. Zack always did have a thing for the fit types.

"Holy fuck, dude," he muttered with a slightly nervous grin.

"I know, I'm hot and awesome." Reno said with another cheeky grin as he reached back for the oil they'd been jerking off with earlier.

Zack snorted, but accepted the offered bottle, his hands popping open the cap and coating his fingers before he paused. He looked uncertainly at Reno then his hands and back again before the impatient redhead snapped out, "What's the hold up, Fair?"

"I just...uh…how…?" the larger man clammed up, his face embarrassed and a dull red.

"Ah," Reno said eloquently as he bit back a grin. "Don't worry, you don't have to get your hands dirty," Reno said as he once again demonstrated that amazing flexibility of his and snatched at the bottle with one hand. A dexterous flick of his hand and a brief squeeze coated his own fingers in the oil and he relaxed from his previous position in order to get a decent angle to stretch himself.

Zack watched, half fascinated, and half uneasy at just how casual Reno was being about the whole thing and the fact that he was watching another guy finger himself and...not minding it. In fact, he was the exact opposite of minding it; he's pretty sure he's loving this shit (the full blown stiffy was a heavy indicator) and that was a bit worrisome but he'll think about that later. Right now he's more concerned with the puckered pink hole twitching around his friend's fingers and the ache in his dick as he reminds himself that this is really going to happen and it isn't an unappealing thought at all.

He was so fucked.

No, Reno's going to be, his mind supplied unhelpfully.

"C'mere," Reno beckoned, bringing Zack back to attention.

The redhead had thrown one leg over the top of the couch and was waiting impatiently, his pale body flushed and a challenging grin on his face. "You ready?"

Zack looked down at himself and snorted before awkwardly crawling over Reno's sprawled out form. It was decidedly strange to be looking down into mischievous blue eyes instead of adoring green and to feel hard muscle and sharp firmness rather than gentle curves and softness.

Then Reno made a brisk tsk at Zack's hesitance, locked his legs around the larger man's back and pulled him closer so that Zack's dick was right there and they both groaned at the sensation of Zack rubbing against Reno.

"Fuck," Zack moaned as he hurriedly grabbed himself and fumbled a bit to try and begin nudging his way in. "This is way hotter than it should be," he panted as he found the angle he was looking for and began to rock his way into Reno's body.

The redhead winced before squirming a bit under Zack's overly-enthusiastic thrusts-no wonder his poor girlfriend hadn't liked this, he had all of the enthusiasm but none of the caution necessary for this. "Watch it," he hissed, "You get too rough and I'll be walking like a stripper after a frat gangbang."

Zack snorted and rolled his eyes at his friend's dramatics even as he obeyed the demand. "Sorry, feels good," he murmured as he stopped long enough to awkwardly cup one of his hands under his balls.

Reno gave him a weird look. "What the hell?"

Zack flushed under the stare. "Balls," was his simple reply.

"Oh for-Odin's fucking balls, Zack, you're an idiot!" Reno growled before nudging Zack's hand away with a foot and once more using his legs to reel in his friend's body. Zack grunted and then swore as he was fully buried inside his friend's body.

Reno undulated a little and wriggled until Zack got the message and began to thrust in earnest, his strokes starting out careful before hurriedly lengthening into long, deep slides. It was fascinating watching his cock disappear into that tight gripping heat inch by inch until he pulled back to the tip and then sank back in while Reno writhed above him, cursing and moving as if it were too much to handle.

It was messy of course, with Reno's cock dribbling all over his stomach and Zack could feel the stickiness on his own stomach, an uncomfortable reminder of the fact that this wasn't a girl, it was a guy and yes, this was really happening and really weird but also really hot. As he watched, Reno reached out a hand to his own cock and began to grip it, his hand glistening with the oil he'd used to spread himself earlier as he jerked himself off. The sound of it was mesmerizing and Zack increased the pace to keep up with Reno's movements, enjoying the feel of tightness around his cock and muscular calves hooked over his shoulders. Even the slapping of his balls against Reno's ass couldn't deter the building high of an approaching climax and for a moment Zack lost himself in the sensation and feeling of being inside Reno.

His panting increased and he could feel himself getting closer; before he could even open his mouth to give a warning, Reno had placed a hand against his chest and pushed, causing him to pull back in confusion as he was toppled onto his back.

The grin he received soothed his suspicions and he allowed Reno to crawl above him and line up their hips before shuddering as Reno's hand closed around the both of them and began to stroke.

With a shuddering jerk and a low groan, Zack came, squirming helplessly as he felt the warmth of the sticky mess the two of them made as Reno milked them. The redhead bonelessly slid off of Zack and onto the other side of the couch, his legs splaying over Zack's as the two of them laid in a sweaty, messy pile of satisfied post-coital bliss.

And then Reno had to go and open his big fat mouth.

"Your balls touched my ass. Gaaaayyyy," Reno teased.

Zack kicked him, ignoring the redhead's indignant cry at being pushed off the couch. God, Reno was such a jackass.

A short time later, the two men said their goodbyes for the night, Reno lazily and self-satisfied and Zack hesitant and slightly weirded out.

"So...we're cool right?" Zack asked, scratching awkwardly at his neck as he eyed Reno's slouched form and rumpled appearance.

Reno grinned as he grabbed his stuff and hefted it over his shoulder. "Don't worry, Fairy, we're still bros."

At Zack's scowl, the redhead beat a hasty retreat towards his apartment upstairs and Zack found himself slamming the door with a stupid grin on his face.

"I'm not gay," he said to himself out loud in the empty apartment, "But that was fucking hot."



"Hot damn, you owe me 300 gil, Cloud," a smug female voice said.

"Goddammit Zack, you just had to be bicurious," the disgruntled blond growled, but it held no real anger; he was too busy staring at a homemade video of two of his friends fucking with a heated stare on his flushed face. It was every gay man in their circle's secret fantasy to be the one to turn out oh-so-hetero Zack Fair, and damn if Reno wasn't the one to get the job done. Cloud and Sephiroth had been subtly trying for years.

"Lucky bastard," Cloud grumbled goodnaturedly.

Aeris Gainsborough giggled as her blond companion forked over the cash, his blue eyes slightly annoyed. "You know, for someone whose boyfriend cheated on her with another man, you're surprisingly cheery about all this," he muttered with mock resentment.

"Oh don't worry," Aeris said, her green eyes glinting with dangerous amusement as she opened the package in her hand. "I have a boyfriend I'd like to introduce to Zack myself," she tittered, pulling out her ace in the hole.

Curious blue eyes widened in scandalized delight as the object was revealed, and Cloud shrieked like a schoolgirl. The dildo was long, thick, and pink, and the little straps on the sides indicated just who was going to be using it.

"I'm so jealous," he moaned. Gods did he want to find Seph right now and drag him home for a good fucking. After watching the homemade porn and now imagining his frustratingly attractive best friend getting that, it was no wonder he hadn't jizzed himself already.

"I want to watch," he said with a sad pout.

"Don't worry," Zack's not-so-innocent girlfriend said with a bright grin, "I like to share."