Refer back to other chapters. I'm too lazy to write ANOTHER one.
This is chapter six AND a humorous little interlude. You can thank Missie Lupin (aka Jess!!!!!!!!!), my best friend, for the idea. ^.^ You get the interlude because…….. You guys gave me more reviews than any other fic I have. THANK YOU!
P.s. I'm basing this that Harry gets out of school on the 21st of June. So he got pregnant around May 10 or so. June 10, he'd be a month along, July 10th is two months along, and August 10th is 3 months along, etc., and he'll start showing around his birthday.
Interlude: Sirius! There's a Difference Between Adult Bookshops and Public Libraries.
Sirius drummed his fingers on the tabletop listlessly, nearly bored to tears. Remus was out attending a meeting with Dumbledore and Snape, and afterwards would be getting groceries, leaving the escaped convict to his own devices. Remus, of course, was very wary of leaving the man who, while very mature when it came to life-or-death situations, certainly still held the mind of a twenty-two-year-old, alone in the house.
Sirius, in an effort to do something, had already flipped through every 'QuidditchMonthly Magazine' in the house, ogling at both the brooms and "chicks" in them, sent out fourteen different prank howlers on people he had never heard of and ordered gods-know-how-many potion orders to different people. All in all, he had done everything he could think of to do for fun, except….
The prankster got an evil little grin on his face as he ransacked the house, searching for a dirty magazine or anything or the sort. Dirty socks, musty old robes, even the occasional old 70's poster lying around. But Remus was too… grown up for porn it seemed. Sirius sighed in frustration, throwing another book around and stared at the mess he made, noticing a large yellow book lying on a table. He flipped casually through the pages, seeing hundred and thousands of addresses and weird numbers that made no sense to him. But the addresses….
Twenty minutes later Sirius had successfully looked up the address of an adult store.
Unfortunately for him, he read it wrong.
He left the house, wandering around in a grey T-shirt with the sleeves rolled up and in a pair of jeans that fit quite snugly. He passed Main Street, slowly seeing a large white building. He gave it an odd look, but then read the numbers on the edge of the building and shrugged. As weird as it looked, it must be it.
He failed to notice the words: 'Public Library' inscribed over the door.
Sirius' gaze trailed over the numerous bookshelves, and his expression turned to utter glee. This had to be the biggest porn store in all of existence! He went searching through the book titles, slowly looking them over and frowned. No pictures. Maybe they only sold porn-filled novels here. Yeah, that had to be it!
When Sirius left the "store", he was amazed to find that it was all free; you just had to return it later!
FREE PORN FOR LIFE.
This was Sirius' dream come true. He settled on one particularly long book by some guy named Shakers Pear or something like that. He sounded familiar, so Sirius figured it had to be good to be so well known.
He spent the next six hours trying to read it, waiting and waiting for the bit of porn to come up in the story.
Then he made it to the last page just as Remus walked in.
"Shakespeare?" he said incredulously. "I never pegged you as one for the Shakespearian plays, Siri," he said with wide eyes. Slamming the book shut with a frown, Sirius glared at the book.
"Not one bit of dirty smut in that whole book!" Sirius was near pouting. Remus snorted and looked at Sirius oddly, setting down a bag of produce onto the table.
"And why, exactly, would there be?" Remus asked carefully, as if he were speaking to a child. Or a Sirius. Which he was. A Sirius that is, not a child.
"I borrowed it from a porn store," Sirius said, as if that explained everything.
Sirius, then, went on to explain the days events and Remus could hardly contain his laughter by the time Sirius finished the tale. When he informed Sirius of his folly, the childlike man grumbled about evil yellow books giving out misleading information.
"Well at least you weren't bored," Remus said through a chuckle, shaking his head in mirth. "I can't exactly say the same for myself. It was terribly boring in fact," he added, heading to his room to change from his robes into some more comfortable muggle clothes.
A strangled cry came from his room.
"Sirius! Look at this mess! It will take me forever to clean this!" At this, Sirius couldn't help himself.
"Well at least now you won't be bored Remy," he said innocently, dodging the large yellow book thrown at his head.
"Why on earth would Harry want to know something like that?" she muttered to herself, absently stroking Hedwig's soft feathers. Writing a quick, yet overly thorough response, she knitted her brow in confusion. Could Harry possibly be… [pregnant]?
No. He couldn't possibly…. Well, technically….
He couldn't be. He just couldn't. And that was final.
It had been a month since Harry received Hermione's owl about the Pregnancy. He just hoped she hadn't worked it out.
'Me; pregnant? Go figure. This is definitely something that would only happen to the Boy-Who-Lived.' Harry still had no idea what he was going to tell Severus. Or Sirius. Or Remus. Or Hermione. Or Malfoy. Or anyone. Gods this was just too confusing for him at this juncture. He was turning seventeen in just eight days. Harry had gone on, sick in the morning, but at least not so scared, and just ignore that he had something different about him that by all laws of nature should not be so.
Harry groaned, sticking the spade into the loose dirt as he worked in the flower bed, resting a moment. He had been feeling considerably less well as time wore on with all of the work he was set doing. Vernon opened the door to his new company car and stepped out, giving Harry a dirty look, as if challenging him to not continue working on the garden. Using his forearm, Harry wiped beads of sweat off his forehead and with a resigned sigh, set back to the weeding and watering and pruning at hand. A small, cool breeze passed across the yard, and Harry gratefully lifted his head to feel the calming coolness as he worked steadily.
Life's being a bitch. I'll finish this chapter when I have time. *makes a face and pouts* Up note: I got the CareBears Movie for Christmas AND a GrumpyBear Plushie from Hot Topic AND a 15$ gift card with CareBears on it for HotTopic AND the CandyLand game. I got lots of other stuff and I beat HP CoS for PS2 in three days. It was fun. Anyhoo- other than getting nice prezzies, the holidays suck and I must study for… *shudders* Finals. *kills my Latin textbook*