It was roughly two years after Voldemort entered the Potter mansion with the intent of killing Harry Potter. Instead, he was defeated by the power of love that held the family together.
Severus Snape entered the large manor after being admitted by the wards. After the incident in fifth year, Lily and Severus made up. They continued being best friends even after she married James Potter. Severus didn't approve of someone he considered a sister getting married to his enemy, but the marriage made her happy.
He was walking down the large main hall to reach the family room. Lily welcomed him to meet her wherever she was in the house, but he felt like he was intruding on the family by doing that. Especially after that time he walked in on a passion filled make out session between James and Lily.
He stepped into the largest room in the house. Soft footsteps were heard behind him. When he turned around, no one was there. He went to sit on the large couch when he felt it.
Small, soft hands were squishing his butt.
The Potions Master turned to see a small copy of James Potter feeling his butt. Why? He had absolutely no idea. The young boy was squishing his butt cheeks and making sound affects as he did it each time. Not knowing what to do, he stood dumbfounded for a few moments before he realized how inappropriate it was. He gently grasped the toddler's hands and lowered them to the boy's sides.
"Um, Harry, that's not nice to do to people," he explained in his gentlest tone. The boy peered at him with wide green eyes.
"Why no?" the child questioned with poor grammar. "Is so squishy!" he exclaimed after a few seconds trying to reach the man's buns again.
Severus just lowered his head and sighed. How was he going to get through to this child?
Lily and James were going on a date for their anniversary. It was late November, so it was very cold, too cold in Britain for young children to play outside. Lily asked him to babysit Harry while they went on their date. It was either him or that idiot Sirius Black. He would not tolerate it.
It was midday, and the child had already reached for his butt three times since his parents left that morning. What was up with that child and his butt? Harry did this every time he came to visit his friend. Did he really have a butt that squishy? He reached down and squeezed it for a second. 'It's not that squishy' he thought.
Eventually, he decided to let the child play in the garden with the toy quidditch set after he placed warming charms on his coat. It wasn't until a few hours that the child got tired and decided to quit playing. Severus gave him a snack and read him a story. He could read just fine, but the man's voice was very soothing. It calmed him down very much, so he fell asleep after a few minutes.
Severus carried his butt stalker to bed and tucked him in. The child didn't mean any harm by squishing his butt. In his eyes, it was probably just some kind of game. Severus used a switching spell to change the boy's clothes and went to bed himself.
Severus felt the familiar sensation of small hands squishing his butt cheeks. He closed his eyes and almost went back to sleep before he realized what was happening. What the hell was up with this kid and his butt?
He let out an unmanly scream and rolled off the side of the guest room bed. How the hell did Harry even get in here? Severus was almost ready to give up and yell at the brat to never even look in his direction again. He just sighed and looked at the boy still on his bed.
"Harry, what are you doing here?"
"I had a nightmare, so I came to talk to you. Your butt was facing the door, so I touched it." Severus's eye twitched in frustration. He couldn't just send the kid back to bed terrified. He transfigured a sock into another, smaller bed.
"You can stay in that bed if you agree to stay there." The boy nodded and went to sleep in the bed. Wards were cast around both beds to keep Harry in his bed and out of Severus's bed. This kid was making his life extremely awkward.
"Lily, I swear to Merlin that I will cut your sons hands off if he touches my butt one more time," the Potions Master said through gritted teeth as Harry squished his butt cheeks. Lily looked down at her son questioningly.
Harry looked back at her and said, "Well, it's a nice ass."
Severus almost fell over from shock.
It was the first potions class for Harry's third year. Harry was totally prepared. He knew from experience that Snape was a difficult teacher, and he understood why. He prepared the things he would need for this class. He would not let down this man that he considered a second father.
A few minutes later, Snape came marching gracefully through the doors. Before Harry knew what he had done, he instinctively reached over and squished his teachers butt as he walked by. Harry even made the squish sound like he did when he was younger.
When Harry realized what he did, he blushed and slowly removed his hand from the shocked teacher's butt. How could he get out of this one? He really didn't even know where the urge to do that came from, but it seemed so natural to do it.
Snape was glaring daggers at Harry's head. "What are you doing, Mr. Potter?"
Before he could say anything, a Slytherin from the back of the room spoke up. "I've always wanted to be the first student to tap that. Oh well."
All potions classes were cancelled for the rest of the day, and a letter was sent to Harry's parents.
*AT POTTER MANOR*
"Hey, Lils. You know that love potion I slipped into Snape's drink a while ago so he could get a date and stop being so miserable? "
"I think I just figured out that it did work, but it worked in the wrong way," James said as he crumpled up the horrible letter from Harry's other godfather.
My Brain: Supposed to be doing an essay? Nah, let's write some fanfics.