Author's Note: While trying to finish "Mommy Dearest" and re-watching "Unfinished Business" for reference in the process, this idea came to me. I had thought of using it as one of my flashback scenes for that story, but then thought it better to let it stand alone. One thing to keep in mind in reading this is that the script for this episode was written before "Stemwinder" even though it was aired afterward. I've always believed this episode should have been the first episode of the fourth season based on where Lee and Amanda are in their relationship at this point This is a missing scene intended to take place between Blackthorne's shooting and the scene at Arlington National Cemetery.
After seeing Blackthorne fall, Amanda rushed to Lee's side and slipped her arms around him. Lee shifted his gun from his left hand to his right and slid his arm around her. "Amanda?" he said in a choked whisper.
"Yeah?" she said looking at him.
"The monster," Lee said with a nod toward Blackthorne drawing her eyes to the dead man on the floor, "has a face."
Amanda looked back at Lee seeing the pain still etched on his face, slid one arm around his neck and pulled him to her to comfort him. Lee holstered his gun, then wrapped both arms around her as he finally let the tears he'd been holding back during his encounter with Blackthorne fall against her comforting shoulder. When his tears had eased a little, Amanda said, "We should get you back home so you can lie down. You've still got a lot of that drug in you." She glanced at Blackthorne on the floor knowing that the agency would have questions, but she also knew that Francine would be hot on her heels with the way she'd chased after her when she had followed Lee. Let her deal with it for now. Between the drugs and the emotional trauma he's suffered, Lee was in no shape to answer anyone's questions coherently and it's not like Blackthorne was going anywhere now.
"But-"he began to protest, then thought better of it. He knew he wouldn't win an argument with her. Besides the way he felt so thoroughly drained by his encounter with his parents' killer, it would feel good to lie down. "Yeah, ok," he agreed as they turned to leave with him leaning on Amanda for support.
"You better let me drive," she said when they got to his car. Lee willingly handed over his keys as Amanda helped him into the passenger seat and closed the door before walking around to the driver's side.
Once Lee was settled, he found he couldn't keep his eyes open and drifted off to sleep, lost in his memories of the past.
Lee scrambled out of bed, scampered down the hall and flung open the door to his parents' bedroom shaking uncontrollably.
"Lee, Darling," His mother's soothing voice said. "What on earth is wrong?'
"I had a bad dream," He said near tears.
"Come here, my darling boy," Jennie said as she pulled him into bed with her and her husband and wrapped her arms around him to comfort him whispering soothing words to lull him back to sleep.
He was awakened by his mother's voice. "Lee, wake up. It's time to get ready for school." He moaned in his sleep, but didn't open his eyes.
"Lee, wake up. We're here," Amanda's voice sounded from somewhere far away. "Lee," He heard again for a moment unable to distinguish his mother's voice from Amanda's in his foggy state. "Lee, I need you to help me." Lee finally opened his eyes at hearing his Amanda ask for help.
"Amanda?" he glanced to his right and saw that she had the car door opened and her arm under his and had been trying to get him out of the car.
"Yeah, it's me. I've been trying to wake you up for a while now. We need to get you inside," she said. "I can help you, but I can't do it by myself. You're too heavy."
Lee groaned, shook his head as if trying to shake the fog from his brain, and braced himself on the car door with one arm and against Amanda with the other. They slowly made their way to his apartment.
Once inside, he tried to collapse on the couch as it was closest but Amanda nudged him onward and said, "Uh-uh. Bedroom. You need some real rest and you won't get it on the couch."
"Amanda," he protested.
"I mean it," she said. "Come on. Move it," she added in the tone she used when scolding her children. She urged him onward until she got him to his bedroom. Once inside, she helped him remove his jacket, carefully removed his gun holster and laid it gingerly on the nightstand, then loosened his tie.
Lee chuckled as he thought that if the circumstances were different, how much he would enjoy Amanda dragging him to his bedroom and slowly undressing him as she was doing now. They'd been seeing each other for several months now and in that time had shared some pretty intense kisses, but they hadn't yet crossed that threshold. He couldn't help but wonder if Amanda was as exuberant in the bedroom as she was everywhere else. The way that she kissed him, he imagined that she would be. His smile widened as he thought about it.
"What?" she said with a curious expression as she got his tie loose and dropped it to the nightstand as well.
"Nothing," he said with a slight smile. He brushed a soft kiss to her forehead and then sat down wearily on his bed. "Just thinking."
"Shoes," She said nodding toward his feet. Lee obediently stepped out of his shoes, then smiled again as Amanda gently pushed him backward to lie down. "There, now doesn't that feel better?"
"Better," he said with a nod. When she started to walk away, he reached for her hand to stop her. "Wait a minute," he said panic rising in him at the idea of her leaving. "Where are you going?"
"I was just going to put these things away," she said indicating his jacket and tie.
Lee shook his head. Big mistake, he thought as his addled mind began to get cloudy again. "Later. Stay."
Amanda sat gingerly on the side of the bed and clasped his hand in hers, using her other to brush his hair out of his face. "I'll sit here with you 'til you fall asleep," She said.
"Sleep with me," Lee said without thinking.
"Sleep with you?"Amanda questioned with a raised eyebrow.
The look on Amanda's face made it clear that she'd misunderstood his intentions and now that he thought about it, he realized how that must have sounded to her. "I didn't mean it like that, Amanda. Not that I wouldn't want to, I would, but..." As he watched Amanda bite down on her lower lip nervously, he realized he was digging himself in even deeper. He sighed and said, "I just think I would sleep better with you beside me to keep the nightmares at bay." He scooted over to make room for her and patted the empty spot he'd made for her. "Please? I just want to hold you while I go to sleep."
"I...uh...I don't think that's a good idea," Amanda stammered nervously. "You need your rest."
"I'll rest, I promise," Lee said. "I just...I'll rest easier with you here." When she still hesitated, his voice took on a pleading tone, "Please?"
"Yeah, ok," she said as she toed off her heels and lay beside him.
Lee pulled her to him to rest her head on his shoulder, brushed another soft kiss to her head and closed his eyes. "Thank you," he whispered smiling as he felt her rest her arm across his waist and began to drift into dreamland again.
"Oh, Sweetheart, we're going to make those bad dreams go away," he heard as he felt soft kisses being brushed against his face, gentle fingers running through his hair, a soothing voice whispering comforting words into his ear, the voice not quite distinguishable to him. Was it his mother's or was it Amanda's voice?
Amanda lay there beside the man she loved, her heart breaking for him and the losses he'd suffered in his life. She knew without a doubt that he loved her every bit as much as she loved him even though they'd never spoken those words to each other. She knew he needed more time and she was patiently waiting, letting him set the pace, knowing that he needed that, that he was reluctant to fully open his heart for fear of losing yet another person he cared for. For now, she was just content to lie beside him and do her best to comfort him and with any luck, help him heal enough so that they could move forward together. "Lee, Sweetheart, I love you so much," she whispered against him as she brushed his sweat-soaked hair away from his face.
"Lee, Sweetheart, I love you so much," Lee heard in his dreams, but once again was unsure who had spoken the words. Was it the memory of his mother comforting after his childhood nightmare or what it Amanda lying beside him, keeping his adult nightmares at bay? He turned in his sleep and wrapped his arm around the warm body next to him and murmured, "I love you," though not quite sure just who he was saying it to.
Amanda's heart leapt at hearing those words from Lee's lips as he clung to her, but responded only by wrapping her arms around him, keeping him close to her, just taking comfort in his nearness and in the fact that his ordeal was almost over. They would have another time to talk about their relationship and where it was going.
"Mom?' Lee cried in his sleep.
Amanda felt a surge of disappointment at hearing him calling for his mother as it dawned on her that that was probably whom those three words were meant for and immediately felt guilty and a little selfish for feeling that way. Of course, he'd be thinking about his mother. That's what this whole thing had been all about and the whole point of stealing the drugs from the agency dispensary had been for him to unlock his repressed memories.
"'Manda?" Lee said softly.
"I'm here," Amanda replied in her soothing motherly tone as she softly stroked his face as Lee wrapped his arms more tightly around her. Maybe those words had been meant for her, after all. Amanda lay like that with him for more than an hour and found herself occasionally dozing off herself before Lee would mutter something else in his sleep, startling her. She finally was just about to sink into a sound sleep when she heard Lee's voice more clearly, no longer the drug-addled slur, jarring her awake again.
"Amanda," Lee said as he pressed a tender kiss to her lips.
"Hmm?" she said opening her eyes to find him staring intently at her.
"Thank you," he said simply as he continued to hold her tightly.
"My pleasure," she said with a warm smile as she caressed his face. "How are you feeling?"
"A lot better," he answered as he sat up an disentangled himself from her, but never took his eyes off of her. "Amanda, I...I..."
"Yes?"Amanda said expectantly as she too sat up.
Lee took her hands in his and said, "While I was sleeping, I remembered the stuff you said to me when I was trying to get to the bottom of my nightmare."
"You almost asked me another question, one that we hadn't planned for when we were setting this up." Amanda grimaced slightly, hoping that he wouldn't remember that she'd nearly used his drug-induced state for her own peace of mind, as she already felt horribly guilty for having done so. "What were you going to ask me?"
"It doesn't matter," she said evasively, averting her eyes from his intense gaze.
Lee hooked one finger under her chin to make her look at him. "Yes, it does. If it's important to you, it matters. I want you to know, you can ask me anything."
Amanda licked her lips nervously, sighed and said, "When you were under and I asked if you knew who I was, you answered, "My Amanda,' and I...I wanted to know what you meant by that, but I stopped myself because that wasn't what we were doing this for and it's not that important anyway."
"Yes, it is important. You are important to me. That's where that came from. It may sound chauvinistic, but since we've been getting closer, I...I do think of you as mine."
"You do?"Amanda said her heart soaring.
"Yeah, I do," he said with a smile and he pulled her against him wrapping his arms around her and kissing her soundly.
Amanda snake her hands behind his neck to deepen their kiss when they were interrupted the jangling of the phone beside the bed. She sighed and thought, It never fails. "You should get that," she said. "It's probably the agency wanting to tie up loose ends."
"Yeah," he said planting one more firm kiss to her lips before reaching for the phone.
Amanda smiled as she watched him interacting with Billy on the phone and felt a sense of peace come over her at seeing him more at peace. She was disappointed that they had been interrupted once more, but she was filled with hope for their future now that Lee's monster had been slain.