The flying saucer landed on a green and brown parking lot surrounded by forests. "Here we are Mort- Blech-ty, Gravity Falls."

Morty looked around at the wooden A-Frame before him the sign said: "Mystery Hack" the S was on the side of the roof.

"Why are we here exactly?"

"I got a power reading from here that was off the chart," Rick said. "We have to find out what's going on here."

He opened the door of the flying saucer and bottles spilled out and fell on the ground as they stepped out.

Rick got out some kind of blinking and whirring metal box with lights on it. Two kids ran up to them: a boy and a girl.

"Hey did you just come out that flying saucer?" Dipper asked.

"Yeah," Morty sighed.

"That's really cool!" Dipper enthused.

"Not really it smells it beer and vomit," Morty admitted.

Mabel smiled at Morty. "I'm Mabel, what are you doing here? Do you like pigs? Want a sticker?"

"I-I dunno, my Grandpa Rick says there's some weird thing here.. I hope you don't end up dead."

"Dead? Don't be silly." Mabel said and put a sticker on Morty's forehead.

"You're nice… this is bad…" Morty said.

There was shout from the porch, Grunkle Stan had just come out and spotted the new visitors. He was in undershirt and boxers, he shook his fist and yelled:

"RICK SANCHEZ! YOU LYING, CHEATING DRUNK!"

"…S-Stan, you got fat and the hat is not (belch) flattering." Rick said.

"I"m gonna get you!" Stan roared and charged Rick.

Rick took out a small laser gun, Mabel screamed Dipper shouted and Morty covered his eyes. In an instant the gun misfired and froze a passing bird which fell from the sky. Stan was punching Rick in her face.

"What the fuck is this, Stan? Fore-play?" Rick laughed and attacked Stan, biting scratching and punching.

They fought back and forth shouting curses at each other. Getting dirty and bloody, until Stan had Rick pinned on the ground and was slamming his head into the earth. As the kids watched horrified.

"THAT'S FOR LEAVING ME IN COLOMBIA!"

Slam.

"I meant to come back!"

Slam!

"LIAR! THAT'S FOR NOT ANSWERING MY LETTERS!"

"You wrote to much."

Slam!

"THAT'S FOR BEING MARRIED WHEN I CAME BACK!"

SLAM!

"I-I had to, I knocked her up."

Then Rick kissed Stan with his bloody battered lips and Stan wrapped his arms around Stan and kissed him back ferciously.

"EWwww." Dipper said with a shudder.

"This is wrong…" Morty gagged.

"Awww, they made up!" Mabel said cheerily.

The boys stared at her.

"What? I write fanfics like this all the time!"

The two old men, dirty and bloody were made out on the ground for a bit. Then sat up. Rick handed Stan his flask, Stan laughed and took a swig.