I Don't Want You to Forget
Sorry, it's been so long since I've worked on any of my stories, and of course, I'm being stupid and posting ANOTHER story. But, due to the fact that my marching band season is over because we didn't advance to Finals. So now I've got a couple weeks of freetime, so here's an "I'm back" gift to you guys.
I dedicate this to my new friend that I've been able to pull into the Tron fandom who I'm going to frankly call Senpai, which you should you know who you are, as you didn't believe me when I told you it meant "my elder". At least it doesn't quote-on-quote mean "poop" in Dutch.
Anyways, the song used is called, "I Don't Want You to Forget" by Jars of Clay. I do not own the song, the band or any part of the Tron fandom. Basically, I'm playing dolls with somebody else's toys, metaphorically.
Okay, enough of that. Let's get started.
Bold- Lyrics/ author's note
Bold Italics- Lyrics that are thoughts
Underline- The Grid/other
Beck slipped down behind one of the buildings, the white glowing slightly in the dark.
He felt great, for the first time in many cycles. He came back from his raid almost unharmed, and he had been successful in his work.
I'll need to meet Tron later this cycle, at the alleyway outside the club.
Speaking of which…
Beck reverted to his citizen suit and walked out of the alleyway, towards the club.
I've got time to myself.
Things are going good for once.
Beck smiled as he made his way towards to the table where his friends were calling for his attention.
"Hey guys." He scooted in next to Paige, kissing her cheek as he sat down. Zed and Mara returned the greeting, unfazed by the display of affection.
Four MylaCycles ago, Beck introduced Paige to Zed and Mara, explaining who she was to him. At first, they were shocked and quite displeased that he was dating a soldier, but once they got to know her, they accepted this fact they hadn't known about him.
His smile faded for a moment as he looked back to the bar from the booth.
They still don't know everything, none of them, including Paige.
Maybe someday, when the war is over, I can tell them.
His smiled returned at Paige's voice and he turned to her, "Hm?"
He smiled and held her hand, "Yes. I'm fine."
He leaned back, "What about you guys?"
"Everything's fine at the Garage." Mara said, throwing him a glance.
"Yeah, except for the fact that you don't show up." Zed added.
Beck felt his cheeks grow hot, "I- Well…."
"And we haven't gone out lately." Paige said, looking to him, "Where have you been then?"
Beck held his head in his hand as he looked down. The heat seemed to have reached his head, making it ache.
"I…" He stole a glance at the bar, "I'm going to get a drink."
And before they could say anything, he got up and walked towards the bar, getting a drink. He took a sip, feeling the energy rush through him, hoping it would help with his head.
Sighing, he made his way back to the table, though it took him longer.
Why can't I find it…?
He turned left and found the table. Carefully, he sat back down next to Paige, setting his palm flat against the table.
"Well?" Mara crossed her arms.
"You owe us an explanation." Paige added in an almost growl, grating uncomfortably across Beck's ears.
Beck stayed silent, taking another sip as his headache seemed to grow.
"Spill it. Is it another job?"
Beck shook his head at both, trying to avoid talking.
"What is it?"
Beck put his head in his hand, covering his eyes.
He looked back up.
Their demands and the bass in the club crowded his ears and mind.
"Excuse me." He got up suddenly, leaving his cup on the table.
Beck shook his head, walking out of the club into the cool fresh air.
I was supposed to do something….
What was it?
He turned to see the others followed him out. Shaking his head again, he walked faster, past the crowd and into the silent alley next to it. Leaning up against the wall, he put his hands to his temples and hissed through his teeth.
He closed his eyes for a moment, it seemed.
His friends came around the corner just as he collapsed to the ground.
Paige ran up to him, kneeling next to him. Zed and Mara followed, Zed propping him up against the wall.
Slowly, Beck opened his eyes and gasped slightly when he saw he was surrounded.
Paige let out a sigh of relief, and hugged him, "You're okay_!"
He slipped out of her hug, scooting back against the wall, eyes wide.
Paige froze, "Beck?"
He made no sign of recognizing his name.
"Don't you….It's us, Beck. Paige, Zed, and Mara."
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
Paige's eyes widened. She grabbed his shoulder and Mara tensed, "Paige…"
In a blur, Beck flipped her over and now had his disc out, pointing it at the three of them.
He was tense, ready to run.
"J-Just stay back!" He backed up, then turned to run down the alleyway.
"Beck wait!" Mara called and Paige got up to go after him.
Everyone stopped because this wasn't a voice they recognized. It was rough, distorted, and definitely male.
Beck turned wildly as he felt a hand on his shoulder. Almost immediately, the new program pinched Beck's shoulder. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he collapsed, the stranger catching him before he fell to the ground.
The stranger stepped out of the shadows. His suit was dark with minimal circuits and he wore an ebony mask over his face.
He looked up as he heard a disc come off its dock. Paige had hers aimed at him, face fierce. The stranger, however, did not seem concerned with her.
"Who are you?" she growled.
He didn't answer, but shifted Beck to over his shoulder. He began to walk past when Paige got in front of him, Zed and Mara backing her up.
"I asked: who are you?"
"None of that matters right now." The stranger said, "We need to save Beck before something critical happens to his code. Now let me through."
At his cool-toned request, they broke apart to let him through.
"We should take him back to his apartment."
The stranger turned to Mara, who seemed shocked for a moment, before clearing her throat to speak.
"It's close to here; probably closer than what you have planned."
After a moment, the stranger nodded.
"Alright. Show me. But be quick."
Mara opened the door to his apartment, the lights off and blinds shut to complete darkness. Quickly, she turned on the light and let everyone through.
The stranger, who claimed to be a friend of Beck's, set him down carefully on the bed. Only then, did the others glance at the orderliness of his room.
"Hm," Zed said, "I didn't know Beck was an orderly type of program."
Paige ran her hand across his desk and picked it up to show the dust, "I think it's more that he's not here often enough to make a mess."
"Whenever you two are done making deductions," they both turned to Mara, who's knelt next to the bed, "we would appreciate your help."
They both went over to the bed side, Paige quickly examining without touching him.
"What's wrong with him?" Mara muttered.
"Check his disc." Paige said, before she lifted Beck up slightly and grabbed it off his port. He let out an involuntary sigh, but did not wake. Paige sat down on the edge of the bed and opened his code. Immediately, she could tell that something wasn't right.
"L-Look at this."
She passed the disc off to Beck's unnamed friend who examined it quietly. Yet the longer he looked, the more tense his shoulders became. Soon, the disc was trembling in his hands. Paige took it back from him before he could cause any damage and let Zed and Mara see. Both gasped in alarm after Paige told them what it was and Mara hid her face in Zed's shoulder, while he looked stricken.
Wordlessly, the unnamed friend took Beck's disc back and set to work. Everyone remained soundless and motionless like the statues of CLU, seemingly entranced by his work.
Finally, he returned the disc to Beck's dock, "There. It's a temporary solution, but it should buy us some time."
Paige nodded hollowly as Zed and Mara didn't answer.
Slowly, Beck's eyes flickered open and he sat up, cradling his head with one hand.
He looked up and around, eyes glancing at Paige, Zed and Mara, and finally, his mentor.
"…How I did end up here?"
"What's your name?" Paige asked.
Beck rolled his eyes slightly with a small grin, "Paige, you know my name_"
"What's your name?"
Beck's smiled faded at her tone.
"My name is Beck."
Everyone let out a sigh of relief.
"It worked…" Paige muttered.
Beck looked at all of them in confusion, "What worked? What's going on?"
"Beck…" the masked Tron set a hand on his shoulder.
"No!" Paige hissed, storming up, "It's too soon."
"He needs to know; he'll find out sooner or later."
In frustration, Paige sighed and sat on the couch, glaring at him.
Tron ignored the glare, "Beck….do you remember the time when someone stole your disc? You almost became a Stray?"
All three of his friends looked to him in alarm as Beck nodded, "Yeah. But what does that…"
He broke off, the news hitting him finally.
"Well, you crashed earlier." Tron continued, trying not to look at Beck, "And the crash was caused by a…faulty in your code. Whether it was caused by the incident concerning that before or something else, we don't know. But we were able to fix your memory, for the moment."
"But you will be able to fix it permanently….right?"
Tron looked away, no longer able to meet his gaze.
Beck felt his shoulders tense as panic was struggling to cry out.
"Beck…" Tron looked back up slowly, "…I don't think there is a cure. I looked through all possible ways to fix this, but the failing code blocks out any way of fixing it."
"I'm…sorry." He finished.
Beck was silent, and he was watching Paige. Watching her mannerisms as she was distressed.
The touch of lips
Her fingertips touch her lips as she looked down, hunched over.
the close of eyes
Her eyes closed as she let out a sigh, trying to steady herself.
They matter more than you surmise
Especially with a fading memory like mine.
"….Beck? Are you listening?"
He looked up, "Hm?"
Tron sighed, shaking his head, "I said you should be fine for a while. The memory isn't going to be as sudden as the last time, but rather, it'll be slow. I'd give you an estimated four MylaCycles until you forget everything."
I hide it all
in secret boxes
"So…they" He coughed, "They…know?"
"Yes." Beck looked up to Paige as she walked up to them, Zed and Mara following. Beck got to his feet.
when we first meet
Paige watched him for a moment, taking in his still warm brown eyes and found herself thinking of earlier when they were cold and empty.
I watch you fade before my eyes
No! she looked down for a moment, It won't happen! I won't let it.
I can't take it,
After a deep breath, she forced herself to look back up to him.
but I won't look away.
She saw Zed and Mara walk past her and up to Beck, hugging him. He notices for a moment, then turns to back to her.
They noticed and let go, giving him space. He continued to stare at her and she returned it. Finally, she walked towards him, albeit slowly. He quietly watched her until she was right in front of him, making him have to look directly down to her.
Beck watched her quietly, patiently waiting.
Maybe the fires that feel so cold,
they won't completely die away.
She stopped for the longest moment, causing him concern.
"…Paige? Are you okay_"
He's cut off as in a sudden force of emotion, her arms wrapped around his waist and her head lied against his chest. Surprise caught him, but even more so when he felt her trembling sighs.
"I don't want to," she started, sobs choking her,
"I don't want you…
I don't want you to forget." she finally finished, looking up at him.
He said nothing at first, but led her to the edge of the bed to sit down. She sat in his lap, still crying slightly. He quietly stroked her hair, holding back his own.
Even though he knew that he wouldn't remember, he was scared. The Uprising depended on the Renegade. Yet how can he continue this legacy if any conscious thought of it leaves him?
Tron looked back to Zed and Mara before walking over to them. The two looked up to him as he drew near.
"Go on home. I'll make sure nothing else happens to him."
Zed nodded for him and Mara. Carefully wrapping an arm around her shoulder, he led her out the door and towards home.
Tron turned back to the couple sitting on the bed. Now that his friends were gone, the tears fell down Beck's face. Tears of fear, fear for his friends, for Paige, for Tron, and for the Revolution.
He buried his face in Paige's shoulder, letting it all out. Paige hugged him still, whispering comforting words into his ear. She managed to lay him down before nestling in beside him. She turned and graced his cheek with her lips before she let his embrace cover her. Not long after, they were both asleep, the stains from their tears still visible on their faces.
And Tron sat there.
His mask was now off, as neither were watching him. He did not cry, but yet a dark hole started in his usually all-logic personality.
This would be his second apprentice to lose, the one whom he loved more than the first. Beck had become something to Tron. Something he remembered Flynn explaining to him once.
And now he bit his lip as he sat there. His hands trembled slightly so he laced them together. After a long moment, he knelt down next to the bed and bowed his head with a sigh.
I don't want to,
I don't want you
I don't want to forget
"I won't let you lose your memory." He whispered, eyes still closed as if in prayer. "I will fix this. I promise."
With that he stood and left.
2 MylaCycles later
Tron looked up as the door opened.
Beck's back earlier than usual…
His mild concern turned to alarm as Beck stumbled in, leaning against the door.
Tron ran over and helped Beck over to a seat.
"Are you alright?" Tron knelt down, "What happened?"
"I…" Beck rubbed his head, "I don't know."
"Tell me everything."
"I…I was fighting Tesler and I…I suddenly forgot. I forgot what I was doing or why I was even there. He got me but I managed to remember and escape before he could kill me. I'm sorry."
Tron wordlessly took off Beck's disc and healed his temporary wounds before looking into his code. At the sight he frowned.
"What?" Beck asked, sensing Tron's concern.
"The breakdown of your memory has accelerated. You now have closer to a HiloCycle."
Beck looked down, shoulders slumped in defeat.
"I'm taking you out of combat."
Beck looked up, "No! Tron, I'll be okay!"
"I'm not taking any more chances. The Revolution needs you alive more than putting your life on the line and then losing it. Until further notice, I will fill in."
"You mean take back the spot that was yours."
Tron sighs and pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew Beck hadn't meant that way but he sounded…bitter. "You're my successor. It's just until we fix the problem. When you're better, I'll let you reclaim this. But the weight of an Uprising will not help. Understand?"
After a moment, Beck nodded.
"Okay." He relaxed slightly, "Go home and take it easy. Come back in a couple cycles."
Beck nodded again and left. Tron walked over to his screen and added the new information to his formula. This changed everything about Beck's cure. An even faster race against time.
Tron sighed as he bowed his head.
Stay optimistic. Worrying will not help him.
His fists clenched and he gritted his teeth.
I may not let you
see my pain
In Argon, Beck pulled up next to the club. Derezzing his bike into a baton, he walked inside, thoughts spinning in circles.
Part of himself tells him that Tron's just seeing him as weak, like he thinks he can't handle like he had before.
But this is different, a small dissenting voice inside him said, he's probably scared that you'll forget everything and hurt yourself.
Whatever he shrugged off in annoyance.
Paige looked up to see Beck walk in. She grinned and walked up to him, "Hey. You made it."
His eyes strayed down to her.
"Do I…know you?"
Her smile faded, "What do you mean? It's me, Beck."
He gritted his teeth.
Concentrate idiot. You've got to know her.
He focused his mind and one name popped into clarity.
She grinned, "You do remember!"
He returned the grin, "Sorry about that. Just a temporary mix up." Which wasn't a total lie; he remembered most things clearer than just moments ago.
Paige continued to smile. "It's alright." Panic had almost consumed her just before. She didn't like it.
I may not speak hard words
She led him to a booth and sat opposite of him. A program brought them drinks before walking off. He still held her hand in a warm grip, despite the fact that his eyes were growing colder.
"How are you doing?" she finally asked.
"…I'm okay." For a moment, his eyes seemed to flick uncertainly towards their clasped hands.
To you maybe it isn't really strange
You being loved by a stranger.
"Is this…making you uncomfortable?" She asked gently, "If so, I can let go."
"No…I like it." He said almost with a tone of uncertainty.
Silence. They continued to hold hands as worry came off one figure, uncertainty off the other.
I won't give you up just yet.
She looked up as things in the club began to wind down, signaling that curfew was near.
"I'll take you home." she said carefully, and led him through the dissipating crowd. He didn't argue, but quietly followed down the calm street.
Finally, she reached his doorstep.
"Well," she said finally, "Here we are."
"Thank you." He said quietly.
"For…taking me home. And talking to me…like I'm normal."
"Yeah." He looked down.
After a moment, she gently pulled his chin towards her, and kissed him. She smiled gently as she felt him relax. After a moment, she pulled away.
"Have a good rest of the cycle." She whispered before letting go and beginning to walk away.
After a moment of stunned silence, Beck shook his head and entered his apartment. She looked back.
I will come calling at your door.
Even when you've forgotten me.
Ours is a home
we can't get to anymore.
She shook her head, he won't. I won't let it.
I don't want to,
I don't want you
I don't want you to forget.
With that, she straightened her shoulders and walked off to start her curfew sweep.
I don't want to,
I don't want you
I don't want you to forget
Two MylaCycles later
As the cycles began to pass, Beck's condition grew steadily worse. He often forgot where he was or he was going and began to wander around the garage, almost causing casualties. As this caught the mechanics attention, Zed and Mara evuantually had to pull him aside to tell him that he is no longer fit to work, but they secrectly did not have the heart to let their ailing friend wander the streets so he stayed. As Tron promised, he kept the legacy of the Renegade as Beck struggled to recover, though it was less than many were used to. Paige, Zed, and Mara took active turns and staying with him while in the shadows surrounding, Tron kept a careful eye.
After their shift ended, Zed and Mara led Beck into the club, holding onto his hands. He really doesn't notice though, as he's looking around with a newly-rezzedlike curiosity.
"C'mon Beck." Mara said gently, leading him through towards a booth where Paige was sitting.
She got up and moved so Beck could scoot inside before sitting back down next to him. Zed and Mara sat on the other side.
Beck stayed quiet and everyone knows he's trying to remember their names.
"Hi….Zed…Mara….Paige?" he finally managed and they nod.
"Hi Beck." Paige said gently, "How are you doing?"
She gently touched his arm, "That's good."
He nodded, looking at her hand touching his arm in curiosity. She moved his hand to cover hers and he smiled slightly.
She looked into his eyes as she looked down at their hands. His eyes were almost a cold husk, with only a couple warm flecks remaining.
Behind your eyes
there is a distance
Thinking about this, her hand poked his palm to get his attention. It worked and he looked up.
I ask you if you'd like to dance
"…Sure." He said after a long moment.
She stood and led him to the dance floor, where a slow song came on. She put his hands on her shoulder and waist before she began to guide him gently. His hands were gentle with her, as if she were fragile enough to break. His face….it was peaceful, happy, something she hadn't truly seen since his memory began to fade.
I wish this moment could last forever….
And yet it didn't as the song came to an end. She looked up to see exhaustion creep onto his face. She smiled and held his arm, "Let's get you home."
Beck nodded as they walked back to Zed and Mara. With a peaceful air, they left the club with hope in the first time in a while.
A plus: Beck was able to lead them home and keep a good conversation together, an improvement.
Maybe things are finally turning around. Paige thinks with a grin as Beck recounts an old story from the Garage days.
Maybe we are finally out of the storm.
Beck finally jerked up with a gasp, clawing at the sheets. His breathing was ragged and his eyes darted wildly around.
Where am I?
He backed into the corner before getting to his feet trying to bear his surroundings.
Where am I?
What's going on?
Where is everyone?
He panted uncontrollably as he called, "Hello?"
He wanted to call for his friends but their names won't come. Their faces have blurred out in his mind.
"SOMEBODY? WHERE AM I?"
There's a sudden tap on his shoulder. Gasping, he turned to meet a masked face.
"It's okay Beck. Calm down."
"Whoareyou?" He panted, "Whyareyouhidingyourface?"
"Beck…" the man set a hand on his arm, "Come with me."
He jerked out of the man's grip, "NO! Where are my friends?"
"Beck just trust me."
"WHO'S BECK?" He found himself screaming, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!"
"…I'm sorry." the masked man says finally.
Beck stopped in confusion, "Wha_?"
A sudden discomfort pins in his shoulder. The last thing he remembered are his knees buckling before his world went dark.
Paige, Zed and Mara walked together down the street the next cycle.
"Beck's starting to show some improvement with his memory." Mara said, "Maybe he's making a comeback."
Zed shrugged, "Maybe Beck's 'friend' finally found a cure."
"I hope so. I miss the old Beck."
Paige sighed as they continued to discuss the memory improvement. Honestly, she was excited that he was making a comeback. For the longest time she had been worried that he wouldn't make it….
She focused suddenly and stopped. Beck's apartment was lonely, as usual. She would've kept her cool if it weren't for the fact that the door was wide open, the glass in one of the higher windows broken on the ground.
She gasped as she ran forward, Zed and Mara hot on her heels. She stormed up the stairs and skidded to a stop at the entrance to his room. When Zed and Mara got there, she heard Mara gasp.
Beck's room was mess, with anything of personal value gone. Beck was nowhere to be seen.
Paige searched ever corner for him, hoping he was just hiding for a reason they wouldn't understand.
Please, let him be okay.
"I can't find him." She said in panic as she searched again. "He's not here!"
Neither had replied for a while.
She looked up, "Guys?"
She saw they were looking at his desk in shock. She rushed over to see a small notepad on the desk with their names on it and a letter. Picking it up, she began to read it out loud.
"Zed, Mara, and Paige-
You all know Beck has been losing his memory. Unfortunately, during curfew time, Beck had an extreme memory loss attack. I had to take him away from this environment but there is something you must know. Beck was never who you fully knew him as. You also know him by his alter-ego: The Renegade."
And on it continued. It talked about all of his memories but the most earth-shattering was at the end.
"I had been looking into his code. The faulty was not caused by past experiences but Beck had somehow been exposed to an Occupation test that was supposed to mutate his code. It failed and slowly began to deteriorate. They are to blame, but they are not the only ones. I am too.
You see, there's a reason I never revealed my identity. I'm supposed to be dead but Beck took my place and was to be my successor so the hope could continue. When I found out Beck was losing his memory, I did everything within power to save him. And that includes taking him. I'm sorry.
You mistake me for a healer
But I'm not.
I'm just a desperate man
stealing one last
to save him.
Paige finally looked up, tears in her eyes. Zed and Mara reflected her and they sat down, grief finally breaking the silence as they cried, holding the letter close.
Meanwhile at the base, Tron watched as Beck slept peacefully, hooked up to many machines. He bit his lip as he imagined their horrified, perhaps disgusted faces.
I'm sorry. He silently apologized, looking to the sky, I will make sure he's safe until there is a cure.
With that, he set back to work as the Renegade and the Watcher over his Ward. Dreading, the day when he would wake and all the warmth from Beck's eyes would be gone, replaced with an empty shell of who he used to be just a HiloCycle ago…
Please leave a review, or a question anything you like, I've got my fire extinguisher under my desk for any flames.
But um, hey, if you like this, I should be posting a sequel to this called "From the Darkness."
So um, it's great to be back and I hoped you liked it.