A/N: based heavily on a head cannon I have
I do not own PJO/HOO
Who's Regina George?
Will wanted to slap himself in the face. Of course, he thought, of course Nico thought everyone hated him. What was he supposed to think? He was a son of Hades born in the midst of World War II, and aside from all of that he had never been to high school. Or any school. No wonder the kid was so socially underprepared for… Gods above, Will thought again. We have all been so very stupid.
See the problem was Will could easily see how Nico got the wrong message. Everyone always whispered when he turned his back, every time he walked into a room it got suddenly quiet as if everyone had just been talking about him. He wasn't wrong because both of those things actually happened. The issue is Nico had been considering the wrong motive. It wasn't that the kids on camp hated him… Just the opposite actually. All you had to do was actually listen to their whispers.
"Nico di Angelo is flawless," gushed one Aphrodite girl behind his back as he went to present his offerings to the gods. Will saw his shoulders tighten in sadness because of course he thought they hated him. Typical.
"I hear he has a Stygian iron sword, and had been two both camps before any one else even knew," one of her friends responded.
"I heard he made the sword himself."
"I hear he has traveled to China. By accident!"
"His favorite movie is His Girl Friday because its the last film he saw before he got taken to the Lotus Hotel," one girl added sighing as she looked at his now hunched over back.
"One time he personally threatened and challenged Kronos, and showed up to battle with an entire army just as we were all starting to lose hope. He's so dreamy…"
"One time," a girl from Ares interrupted,"he kicked my ass in sword fighting. It was awesome!"
The issue was, technically, Nico was very popular. He was a son of the Big Three, a close friend of Percy's, had played an important role in both wars, and he had this dark, brooding mysterious persona that many of the individuals at camp found highly appealing, not to mention his Silver Screen movie star good looks. Not that Will himself fell victim to that… Of course not. But he could certainly appreciate Nico's old world charm. The reason that Nico himself didn't notice any of this, was because even though Nico was incredibly smart and perceptive he had never engaged with a large group of teenagers every before in his life. He just sincerely did not understand that they were all in awe of him. And that was the source of Will's frustration.
Before the battle Will assumed Nico knew people liked him and was closed off and snobbish because he believed only Percy and his gang were good enough to talk to. He thought he never spent time at camp because he was too busy traveling the world and generally being a cooler demigod than Will himself got the opportunity to be. Well, Will thought with a sigh, at least I know whats going on now.
Will walked up to Nico and put his tray down with the boy. Nico slightly jolted but relaxed when he saw Will's face, something Will tried very hard not to get excited about.
"Hey Death Breath," Will said with a smile. Nico flushed slightly and glared at him. He opened his mouth to respond but Will zoned out, and glanced behind Nico. A kid was standing in the middle of the field wearing… Wearing an aviator jacket. Gods above, people were starting to dress like him. As if the camp needed more moody, dark teenagers.
"Will?" Nico's eyes narrowed.
"Sorry… I've been spending a lot of time working. Its kind of getting to my head, what were you saying?"
Nico nodded in understanding, "I think I'm going to take off in a few weeks. Its fairly obvious that I made a terrible decision staying here… And don't give me that look Will! I'm not being self deprecating. Everywhere I go there are whispers, and now… And now they've started wearing jackets like my old one. I've been to Tartarus, I don't need to endure any more psychological torture."
Will winced at the mention of Tartarus and then stared at the younger boy. He couldn't decide if he wanted to laugh or cry, this situation was like something straight out of a sitcom and Will had just not had enough coffee to deal with it at this point. After all he had not been lying about working over time in the infirmary. You don't get to be the best by taking time off, his mother would always say as she headed to surgery. Perhaps he got his manic hard working streak from her but now was neither the time nor the place to consider it.
"Will…?" Nico was looking at him worriedly.
"You are the dumbest person I've ever met. And I've hung out with Percy Jackson," Will stated before he took his first sip of coffee,"like literally, the single dumbest person to ever exist ever and I just refuse to have this conversation until I have had a cup of coffee. So remain silent while I become a functioning member of society."
Nico opened his mouth to argue but then just rolled his eyes and waited. About ten minutes later Will finally had the energy to deal with his problems.
"Nico would you like to know why you are so monumentally stupid?"
"Please Will, oh great wise one, please enlighten me."
"Its because you're Regina George, but you've never gone to High School so you have no idea what it means to be that so you think everyone hates you."
"… What is a Regina George? Is it a position?"
Its times like these that Will is forcefully reminded that Nico is not from our time and had never actually seen any movies let alone Mean Girls.
"No Regina George is a person. A very cool, powerful person in school who everyone is always talking about behind her back. But they talk about her because she's popular."
Nico spluttered, "popular? Me?"
"Dude… Gods above this is worse than when I had to give the talk to my younger siblings."
"I refuse, on principle, to give the talk to you di Angelo. So please go stop one of my siblings and have them explain the birds and the bees."
Nico suddenly turned pink, "Oh no! You do not need to do that. Hades gave me that talk… The lord of the dead gave me The Talk, Will. I will never be emotionally stable."
"You have never been emotionally stable," Will pointed out mildly, "anyways! You are a kickass, smart, cool demigod whose best friends include The Seven of the last great prophecy for conceivably decades until they figure out the books or we rescue the oracle. And you are best friends with the Hero of the last great prophecy. Aside from all of that you can literally teleport at will, summon armies, control the earth and talk to the dead. And aside from all of those things you are good looking—"
Will stopped. In his rant he had let slip the one thing he had been trying very hard not to let slip. This is what you get Solace, he thought, for trying to make the world a better place.
Nico for his part was just shocked, "you think I'm good looking?"
Will sighed, "thats your big take away here? You better count your lucky stars that people think you're attractive or they'd never believe me when I told them you are a complete and utter moron."
Nico blushed, and it was adorable. Then he said, "if people like me so much how come they don't talk to me and always whisper about me?"
"Dude popularity isn't without its hinderances. Gossip man, if people think you're cool enough you're talked about. Just sort of the way of the world. As for not talking to, you're hella intimidating. So they stalk from afar and… as for the jacket. I think they think its cool because you wore it. Idiots think you're a fashion icon."
"… So I guess I will not be going anywhere then."
Will just looked at him blandly, and considered that Nico's eyes looked just like the melted chocolate his mother used on all of his deserts.
"Wonderful. I'm glad we got that sorted, now if you don't mind I'm going to check on some idiot demigods who insist upon ruining my day."
"Will! Wait," Nico called as Will was getting up,"so you think I'm good looking then?" Nico's eyes twinkled with a madman's glint.
"I will neither confirm nor deny that statement."
"Oh come on Will! Don't you think the "Regina George" of Camp Half Blood should get compliments regularly?"
Will looked down at Nico will astonishment, "I did not realize it was possible for me, di Angelo, a fundamental pacifist, to want to hit someone so hard."
Nico rolled his eyes and leaned back. His silky black hair falling elegantly on his face, and he bit his full lips. Will was momentarily breathless, if he wanted to be poetic (which he can be) he might say that Will looked like Old money. Someone so comfortable in their power that they exuded the confidence of a warrior.
"Fine, you are very attractive di Angelo. Are you done tormenting your sexually frustrated friend or do we have a few more steps of this dance?"
Nico looked down shyly and in a soft voice said, "every time I came to camp I always felt like you were too popular and good looking for me to talk to. So there, we are even."
Will smirked at him, "I know. I am rather good looking aren't I?"
Nico rolled his eyes.
Will decided that if his hot friend thought he was also hot then the universe was basically giving him a paved road to Nico's heart. With that thought in his mind he mustered up his courage.
"Well if we're both so good looking we should just go out. I mean the cool kids always date each other," Will said his heart thumping. He tried to play it cool. Was that cool? Will was almost never cool so he really could not tell if he was or not.
Nico smiled so brightly that Will was once again struck dumb, "I thought you'd never ask."