A/N: So firstly, as we all know, this will be the last and final most chapter of Acacia. However, I would be posting a very important author's note tomorrow or in a few hours which I really wish you guys would read because it is about the epilogue (or maybe sequel or part two) of this story because there are seriously lots of loose ends which I need to tie up.
Secondly, there's some things from last chapter which I need to clear out.
1) Matt is Dr. Greene and is also Caleb.
2) David is the step-father of Caleb and Hannah.
3) arpsrox: I've never thought of what Tobias would have felt and your thoughts are very funny and totally spot on.
4) Guest: I deeply apologise if my writing for the previous chapter was very bad and like a soap opera and I'll try to improve it.
5) Guest: I am so very honoured to be the one to give you the best birthday gift ever and I wish that I could still wish you a belated birthday wish. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!
And lastly, I'd like to thank you guys so, so much for sticking with this story with me because it totally means so much to me. I really didn't expect to get this much readers and supports. It's really, really great to have you guys and I especially appreciate and love all the feedback I've been receiving. Lot's of loves to you guys ! ^^
So hear we go...
Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent.
The tattered black luggage lies open on my bed. A few grey dresses neatly placed inside it.
It hurts too much for it to be exciting.
It should be exciting, I suppose. Finally reuniting with my family. Except for mum and dad...
I don't understand why. I've come to accept the fact that they were dead. But now, suddenly, after finding out that Caleb and Hannah are alive, I have the slightest hope that they aren't. It feels as if, if I try hard enough, I will find them.
But they're dead. I caused my own father's death. He died right in front of my eyes.
And Hannah killed mom in that car crash...
Caleb stands under my doorway before finding himself sitting on my bed.
"You're good?" He asks.
I'm not sure if I should answer a yes or a no. Honestly, I don't think I am. The load of information I just received haven't properly registered into my brain. It is still hard for me to imagine that this man in front of me is the same person who whined over the fact that Hannah and I gets an extra scoop of ice-cream.
I should have seen it. His looks, he is the epitome copy cat of dad. His voice, the way he moves, the way he acts. Just... a little bit more serious. Dad took life in a lighter way. I guess that is what losing half of your family at a young age does to you.
"I'm not sure." I finally whisper.
Caleb sighs and looks down. "It was his doing. David was the one who helped you."
I stare blankly at him. "Help with?"
"David he... He tricked Jeanine into buying you from her. After mom's death, he started to regret all of his past doing. He knows how much pain he inflicted to mom by separating us. He just... didn't have the heart to tell her. He loves her too much to do so.
But when she died, he felt guilty. She died thinking that David is a nice man. Thinking that David had saved her, us."
Caleb pauses as he pats the space beside him. Asking me to sit down.
"After her death, David confessed to us. He told us the whole story- all of it. From the time when they were childhood friends and how he fell in love with her, but realising the look in her eyes every time she looks at dad.
Hannah didn't take it so well. I think she was warded in the hospital for a week because of hypertension. It was around that time when David started to trace your location. He knows that you're kept somewhere in the orphanage. He just wasn't sure which girl is you.
It didn't take him long though. After going through the profiles of the girls there, he immediately recognise the face which looks identical to his childhood friend.
From there, he came out with various ways of getting you out of that orphanage and reunite you with us. He had to be subtle though. Jeanine would find it suspicious for him to try to get you out. Eventually, he managed to convince Jeanine that she really won't want to keep "the bloody daughter of the bitch" in her orphanage."
"He called mom a what?!" I ask in shock and anger.
"That was just to play with her emotions you silly." Caleb scolds back.
It feels funny, yet weird; having this brother and sister relationship with a brother who, in your mind, is still and eleven year old boy.
I guess he froze at that age in my heart...
"At first, Jeanine wanted to keep you in. Torture you in her hell until you break as an act of vengeance towards mom. But she eventually gave in if he agrees to give me up to her."
"What does she wants to do with you?"
"I'm an asset. I have brains, I'm a doctor. I can help her revive her science research institute. And I look like dad. It's creepy when you think of it because it is as if she wants me because I look like her lover... But I guess, that's why I somehow ended up being mom's favourite. I remind her of dad."
I nod, because I have nothing else to say. But I don't make a move to end our conversation because I need someone to talk to. The thought, the disturbing thought is lingering and floating in my mind. But every time I open my mouth to say it out, it just hangs right there.
"You don't want to leave Tobias do you?"
I sigh. "No. I don't"
"It hurts doesn't it? Leaving your lover because you know that things might never be the same again, but you really have to learn to move on. You can't let the little moments in life stop you. You mustn't be afraid to let go. If there's fate, you guys will meet each other again. And all will be fine. Believe in fate, Bea."
"It's not that easy..."
"Bea, you're not going to leave him forever. You're just moving to the other side of the town..."
I scoff. "Yeah, and the other side of the town is so close right?" I ask him sarcastically.
"No. He's leaving for Princeton then god knows where he might end up once he graduates and I... I feel as if, if I leave this house or like... I mean... he has a whole group of friends right there and I was just there during a short span of like three or four weeks. He's going to forget all about me and I... it feels so... I thought that if I distance myself from him I'll be able to forget and live without him easily. But... he just won't leave my mind and it's so... infuriating!"
Caleb ruffles his hair in agony before huffing out a breath.
"I think... I think I..." I start- try to tell Caleb that one thing which I've never been able to let out of my chest. "I think I... I think I might have fallen for him..."
Caleb scoffs at me. "You think?" He asks with a hard look. "I know. I know that you love him. It's obvious from the way you guys look at each other. Both of you are madly in love yet too coward to tell the other how you feel."
"It still hurts Caleb."
"I know that it hurts." He whispers. "I've lost two people who I've loved that way. One because of the fire, the other because she was jealous over the fact that I love Hannah more than her... and she asked me to choose between Hannah or her... and I picked Hannah."
"Susan... The girl you had to leave because of the fire was Susan right?"
Caleb smiles longingly. "It was a puppy love but still... it was love."
The silence lingers around us again as I nod. "Love is a powerful word isn't it?"
All he did was sigh.
The blue beanie stares at me, waiting anxiously as I decide its fate. Should I wear it? Should I keep it? Should I return it to Tobias?...
"Tris?" Shauna- Hannah asks from the door. "It's time to leave." She informs.
I nod to her and tell her that I'll be there shortly before glancing back towards the beanie in my hand.
"That's Tobias's isn't it?"
"Yup." I say before placing the beanie amongst the bouquet of Acacias- the wilted Acacias...
Pulling up the handle of my luggage, I wheel it with me as I leave the room which I have called mine for four weeks. The image of the beanie and "The Secret Love Letters" laying on top of the bouquets of Acacias swims into my eyes. Hooked underneath the basket of gifts which Tobias had given me and tied to a full-bloomed sweet pea is a note; hoping itself to reach the person I addressed it to... Tobias.
A pang of ache hits my chest as I notice that amongst the people waiting for me on the courtyard, the person who I need to say goodbye to the most is missing.
Maybe it is better this way?...
I hug Johanna a goodbye as she whispers a lot of thank yous for all the help I've contributed and a deep sorry for what happened to me because of her own gardener. Marcus pats me on the back and pledges that he will help me out whenever I need it.
"You've helped me redeem myself to my son." He says, his eyes brimmed with tears.
I've never realised that Marcus is really just as vulnerable as Tobias. Once he lets down his tough facade, he can easily be crying in your arms. And maybe that is why he abused Tobias when Tobias was younger; once something strikes him, he can no longer control his emotions. And because the both of them are desperate to show that they are strong and never weak, they refuse to acknowledge that they are breaking down deep inside and instead, choose to void themselves of all emotions; finding shouting, screaming, hitting to be the alternatives to crying or allowing someone to know why they are upset.
"There's really nothing I can do to repay you", he continues. "If there's anything, really, just give me a call and I'll do my best to help you."
"Thank you Marcus." I reply. "It was nothing really." I smile to him.
My heart drops when he smiles back to me. Up close like this, with his deep ocean blue eyes and dark brown shaggy hair- he looks exactly like Tobias. And I've missed that smile...
I give Marcus a tight hug before turning towards Caleb. Caleb takes the handle of my luggage from my hand and lifts it into the boot of his car.
I give the house one last glance before turning away and following Hannah into the car. Caleb jumps into the car and I pray that time can go slower. I really, really do not want to turn the pages and leave this chapter of my life.
But as the engine rumbles and the car jump starts, I know that it's time. It really is time to leave... to leave Tobias...
And I never get to say goodbye...
Don't cry. Please don't cry, it's not the real end yet...
THE SEQUEL HAS ARRIVED!
Check my author's page to read the sequel, Arbutus.
P/S: Who knows what does Arbutus means?
BIIIIIIG thanks to all of you guys who have been staying with me since the very beginning. 182 followers, 130 favourites and 443 reviews are immense guys!
Now I thought that I should reply to some of the reviews which I missed last time... Not all the reviews appear here, yes. But I thought that I should reply to some of them :) Italic are the reviews and bold are me.
TobiasFourever 1430079113 . chapter 36
Pity ! Since I started reading Acacia , I look every day in my inbox waiting for a message that says " new chapter from Lynda Loyde , Acacia ." I have NEVER been so eager for a story from Allegiant ! I need to know what happens to Tobias and Tris...
I like your history, it has something special that makes it unique , it would be a beautiful book full of intrigue , doubts , friendship and romance ... everything you need ! I'm sorry if there are grammatical errors , I am French and write in English ... well ... it changes . ;) 4
THANK YOU SOOO MUCH! ^^ I'm really, really glad to know that you love my story. I'm still trying to improve and feel really nervous whenever I publish my new chapters. It makes me feel so happy when I get reviews like these. Really boosts up my self-confidence!
I'm English (not England English) learning French!
Merci beaucoup pour lisent mon story et espoir a bientot! (I am 100% sure that there are some grammar mistakes in that sentence XD)
fernandes3694 chapter 36 . Apr 27
You should have them meet up a few years later like they randomly run into each other. Like when Matt/Caleb said about fate, fate brought them together again.
Guest12345678910 chapter 36 . Jun 29
I was wondering, was there a reason that you made Christiana distant and not so close to Beatrice?
When I first wrote it, yes, there was a meaning as to why I made Christina so distant. But I sort of like lost the idea halfway through and it turned out awfully. Still, I am trying to recover it with the sequels and/or drabbbles (or anything of that sort). Christina is a very complex character that I would love to revisit :)
Someone the World Forgot chapter 36 . Apr 28
YASSS! a one-shot-ish to show what actually happened in the fire and stuff like that :)
I'm planning out a whole story for it already XD I'll only get to it after I finish this Acacia sequel though...
1430263638 . chapter 36
Is Night Changes named after the song? And I think you should do either a sequel or a part two where Tobias and Tris actually start dating.
Yup, that's where Night Changes is coming from and you'll have to wait for the sequel to come out :K
Manasi chapter 36 . 9h ago
Hey. I'm still glad that you updated even if its after months. Its ok that you have a life and are busy. I know from your tumblr account that photography is your other passion. Your good at other stuff too.
But I have to say, I'm in love with this story and all of us deserve a real ending and know what happens with them. I'll keep checking for an update, however long it takes.
Marine Dolfin chapter 36 . Aug 19
Please don't give up on this story! It's really fun to read and I hope you don't just end it. (There's still 176 people following.) But since it has been a long time, it might be helpful to provide a summary or something because I don't know how many people would want to reread the story. (I will be, though...)
That's a nice idea, thanks. I'll see what I can do :)
rwtd chapter 36 . Aug 19
Hi it's me - run with the doctor, we've spoken before - I can't be bothered logging in :P
Please don't end the story! I'm always on the edge of my seat waiting to hear from that you've updated the next chapter! This is one of my favourite AU fics in the world of Divergent!
I've said what I came to say and now I can only beg you - please don't end it!
Yeah, I remember you very well :)
Not ending it thanks to you guys! :*
Manasi chapter 36 . 13h ago
Omg omg omg. I am so glad your actually considering writing a sequel rather than give this story with an epilogue. There are a lot of loose ends to this story as you said and I'm dying to know your explanation to those. And a leap on few years sounds like a great idea :)
Anyway yay on the sequel. Waiting eagerly! :D
Yay! Glad to know you love my idea! Thanks soooo much again for staying with me :)
Huge love to Oneta, Mercy, Thea and Kat who have been supporting me since the very beginning and some since even before I started writing. To my sister, thank you for scaring the life out of me and making me dead nervous everytime you *purposely* announce that you are reading my new chapters but still giving me very wise words. And a big shout-out to all of you loyal readers of mine! This story wouldn't have been a hit without you guys so, a MASSIVE THANK YOU GUYS!