A/N: A new story? Already? yes. P.S. Still need a Beta. Then again if you accept my mistakes posts are probably gonna be faster.
She knew it was wrong. Absolutely wrong, but it felt right and she didn't think she could leave without showing him her feelings she felt for him. She had decided, whilst helping Chuck put together his sisters dream wedding, that she wouldn't go with Bryce. She was going to stay in Burbank and try a normal life with Chuck.
She was scared to death of the prospect, never having a normal life to begin with. Starting off with the abandonment of her mother and the frequent moves with her father as he roamed around the country coning people. It was a life she had secretly always dreamed of having but never in a single breath thought could she ever have.
But then she met Chuck Bartowski, resident Nerd Herder at the local Buy More. Her task was simple, ascertain if he had the Intersect that Bryce had sent him, and either bring him in or take him out. She never believed that she, Sarah Walker, spy extraordinaire would begin caving into his charm and fall for him.
But she wanted the chance and she was going to jump in feet first and sink or swim, hoping against hope that Chuck would be there in the hypothetical water helping her swim to shore.
However it wasn't to be. She was reminded, quite forcefully of her contractual obligations to the CIA. She did everything she could to get out of it, calling in markers, going to the highest person she could get to but it was all for naught. Despite all protests she was ordered to join Bryce Larkin on the Intersect project to take down the new enemy known as The Ring.
She spent an entire agonizing night tossing and turning, pacing her hotel room about what to do about the situation. If the Intersect wasn't Bryce Larkin it probably wouldn't have been such a big deal. She knew that once they were alone he would try to rekindle what they had before he had sent the Intersect to Chuck. But she knew hands down in her heart and mind that that would never happen. She belonged to Chuck.
Which is what had been causing all her internal aggravation. She argued internally and externally about what to tell Chuck. Her instinct was to tell him nothing. He knew she was leaving and to just let it be. But she didn't want to give him up. Give up Chuck and everything he meant for her possible future. She argued to herself that if he was still alone in two years she'll chop it up to fate, and take a chance. If he was taken, then she guesses it wasn't meant to be.
However her heart told her to tell him. Explain everything; try that automatically doomed long distance relationship. She knew it would be unfair to make him wait but she wanted a life with him so badly.
Sara chose her instinct over her heart knowing that her instinct had rarely ever failed her, while her heart failed her over and over again. She regretted the decision every day after she left. But that night after the wedding, once everyone had left and the bride and groom were off to a fancy hotel to consummate their union, Sarah decided to stay with Chuck.
They had talked for a long time while they cleaned up and then finally in his bedroom. They both knew this was the last night, knowing that she was to leave in the morning to go off with Bryce. For once she opened up to him, not wanting any silence to fill the room, wanting as much of his voice in her memory as possible.
Soon she couldn't stand it any longer and she leaned into him and kissed him hard fast and passionate. She was on top of him as they laid on his bed her arms wrapped tightly around him as his own ran up and down her back and sides causing goose bumps to cover her skin.
She sat up straddling him and looked down, tracing her fingers lightly over his face trying to memorize as much of him as possible. She reached behind her to unzip her dress, fully prepared to give into a last night of passion but before she could Chucks topped her.
She was stunned and hurt, feeling rejected as he sat up while she climbed off the bed trying to fix herself and keep the tears from falling in front of him. He had quickly in his typical Chuck fashion spat out quickly why he rejected her advances. He couldn't stand the thought of a goodbye fuck. She was leaving the next day and he didn't want that to be his last memory.
He told her he wanted to remember things like her smile, and her eyes when she laughed. How she felt when he held her and the giggle she would try to hide when she found one of his lame jokes funny. Instead of what she had planned she laid next to him all night, held tightly in his arms as he stroked her hair. She closed her eyes to pretend to sleep all the while memorizing the beat of his heart, the feel of his skin and the scent of him.
Morning came too soon for her, but regardless she made a decision to leave before Chuck woke up. She watched him sleep peacefully with a slight smile on his face as she gathered her dress from the floor, deciding to just wear the clothes she had borrowed from him to sleep in.
She watched from Casey's mostly vacant apartment as he woke up to an empty bed. He had reached out to her side where she slept when they had cover sleep overs to find it empty and cold. Her heart broke as she saw him curl up on himself, making himself surprisingly small. She almost went in there to comfort him, to change her mind. To give the long distance thing a chance but she steeled herself and turned off the feed, taking a final breath before walking away.
She spent the next two years traveling the world going on missions with Bryce. At the first chance he got tried to start up where they left off, to have what they had once had before all this had happened. Sarah quickly shot him down with a few well-placed kicks and a threat to disembowel him. She respected Bryce as a partner and a spy but she didn't respect him as a human being after everything he'd done to Chuck. She made if perfectly clear, much to his dismay that she was only there because she was ordered to, and for no other reason.
Sarah put everything she had into each mission, just like she had always done, this time however instead of for duty she did it to keep herself occupied so she didn't continually ponder and think about Chuck. It took all her will power when her mind wandered to him to not use her resources to check on him. She wanted to desperately to see him and frequently second guessed her decision to leave him.
When her contract was over she put off renewing it and took a trip to Burbank. She wanted to see Chuck, wanted to talk to him. She didn't care what had happened in the past two years she was determine to not leave till she talked to him. She used the CIA database to find where he currently was and went directly to the Buy More where he allegedly still worked.
"He's gone." Morgan told her as she approached him at the Nerd Herd station. He was wearing a nice suit and tie, indicating that he was the store manager. She felt a little proud as she first walked into the store. But his immediate words as she walked into the store stopped her in her tracks.
"What?" She stuttered out shocked. Morgan gave her a sad look and ushered her into his office. She sat down heavily on the chair in front of the desk as Morgan went to grab her a bottle of water from the mini fridge that was in his office. She reached out for it numbly, not really able to comprehend the object.
Morgan rounded his desk and sat down in the big comfortable chair there leaning on the desk watching her. Sarah's mouth moved a few times like a fish as she tried to get words to come out but all she could feel was her heart breaking.
"What's going on? Where is Chuck?" She asked him softly. Morgan took a deep breath and sat back a bit in his chair.
"I can't tell you that." He told her, looking kind of guilty. She gave him a hard look, trying to break him. "He told me never to-"
"Never what? Tell me?" She asked, her glare falling and voice sounding sad. Morgan shook his head.
"Never tell anyone. And I'm going to keep that." He said determined. Sarah thought about that for a moment, unsure of what would motivate Chuck to leave and not want to be found.
"Why? It says he works here. How is that?" She asked him. She knew exactly how someone would do that but she wanted to know how Chuck was doing it. And hopefully why.
"Look, Sarah. I know you work for the CIA." He told her, raising his hand to pause her as her eyes grew alarmed and she sat straighter in her seat. "He didn't tell me specifics. I don't know what you were doing, or what he was doing. All I know is that he was an asset for the two years you were here. I'd like to say I was shocked but let's face it; our Chucky has always been special."
Sarah was stunned at that. She wondered for a second who else he might have told and she was definitely curious on what exactly he told Morgan he did for the government. But there were more pressing issues at hand.
"But why. I don't understand." She said confused. Morgan shifted a little clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation, but he obviously cared a lot for Chuck in order to suffer through this. It was obvious that he had in some way liked Sarah as he seemed ready to burst to tell her something and not leave her hanging.
"He met someone." He said uncomfortably. "A year ago and he took off shortly after. As a favor I kept him on the employee registry to detract people from finding him."
To say Sarah was stunned would be an understatement. She had hoped and prayed he wouldn't meet anyone, even though she wanted him to be happy. But the last thing she had imagined was him taking off.
"Why? Who? What's her-"She wasn't even sure where to start with her questions. "What's her name?" She finally asked meekly. Morgan shook his head.
"Sarah I can't tell you anything." He said sadly. She could tell he wanted to but his loyalty to Chuck was stronger than his desire to spill. Sarah closed her eyes as pain shot through her chest causing her heart to ace. She was confused and didn't know what to do.
"Morgan, please. I need…Please tell me something." She said. "I love him." The confession brought a small smile to Morgan before a sad look overcame his features. She could tell he was heartbroken over not being able to tell her what she wanted to know. She thought for a moment about using her CIA training to get the information out of him, but she couldn't do that to him, and she couldn't do that to Chuck.
"I know you do Sarah, but when you left, it nearly killed him. He was really in love with you and you left him." He paused and shook his head again. "It was worse than when-"he stopped but she knew what he meant. It was worse than when Jill dumped him.
"I know Morgan. I-I didn't want to, but I didn't have a choice." She said calmly, feeling herself go slightly numb again from all this. "I chose to stay with him but I was obligated to the CIA."
They sat in silence neither quite sure what to say next to the other. The instinct to drill Morgan began to get stronger as the silence grew between them. She wanted to know who this mysterious woman was that caused Chuck to go off grid. She thought for a moment about going after Ellie and seeing what she knew. But she knew if Chuck was hiding from her then he must have some reason, or she broke his heart more than she though.
"What about Ellie" She finally asked. "I went by her place but she moved, yet it still sows that's their residence. Morgan please, tell me something what is going on here." She pleaded to him. Morgan looked ready to break but he stood steadfast in his course. She saw him take a steady breath and she knew he was not going to give her good news.
"Look, Sarah, I'm sorry. I get you were tasked to protect Chuck and we all get that, and we are so grateful to you for keeping him safe. But you royally pissed off a lot of people by leaving. Ellie included." He paused to let it sink in. "You were like a sister to her, and she thought you were the one for Chuck but you take off right after her wedding leaving him alone. You have no idea the mess he was in when she came back. Once Chuck told her and took off, she also put in some precautions. Please don't go looking for either of them; they don't want to see you."
Sarah's heart sank further at hearing how mad Ellie was at her. She was the first person Sarah felt that she could completely confide in or at least in as much as she could. She was desperate to see her as well and thought of ways to find her. It couldn't be that hard to find two doctors under the name "Woodcomb" out there could there?
Sarah wiped her face, feeling moisture from tears that were falling from her eyes. She berated herself for being weak and crying in front of Morgan but her emotions were flying at high speed out of control. She knew she screwed up but she wasn't expecting this. Taking a moment to think of her next step she missed Morgan's calculating look.
"Will you at least tell him? That I came here looking for him?" She asked him hopefully. She watched as Morgan picked up one of the framed photos on the desk and looked at fondly, a smile slightly on his face. He stared at it for a few moments before looking back at Sarah.
"I'm not going to tell him Sarah. I'll admit it, I'm totally, definitely, 100% not fond of the woman he's with. But he's happy. And I won't destroy that, especially since you have a tendency to disappear." He told her honestly and her heart that was breaking shattered. "Knowing that you were looking for him, it would ruin what he could have and what he already has. And this is why." With that Morgan held out the framed photo to her which she hesitated to take, closing her eyes before looking at it.
"What?" She said startled. She was expecting a happy photo of Chuck and his new, whatever she was but the photo didn't show her.
Instead it was a candid picture of Chuck outside with the sun shining down on his tanned face, highlighting his brown curls as he smiled down at a little bundle of limbs in his arms. There was no mistaking from his facial expression that he was madly in love with the infant that he held.
"His? Yes. She'd be about five month's right now." He told her fondly. She couldn't take her eyes off the photo. She stared at it for several minutes as Morgan watched her.
"Is that woman…?" She didn't want to know but she had to ask.
"Yeah she's the mother." He said. She looked up briefly and saw him squirm, indicating he clearly didn't like whoever this mystery woman was. "But that's why you should leave him alone Sarah. He has a life now. He's happy." Morgan insisted.
She knew it was a possibility when she left him two years ago but to see it hit her in a way she didn't think possible. Taking a few stuttering breaths she finally reached out to place it face down on the desk in front of her. They sat in silence for several minutes and Sarah was grateful for Morgan's patience.
"Is he happy? Really happy Morgan?" he asked him, her voice barely above a whisper. She saw Morgan hesitate a second before nodding and picking up the picture. He smiled down at it again for a second before placing it in its rightful place on his desk.
"Yeah, he is. Couldn't be happier." He told her, and she believed him. Her mind was racing on many possibilities of how she could find him, just to check up on him. Or at least find out who this woman with that Morgan refuses to tell her the identity of. But in the end she decided against it and to honor his wishes.
Sarah stood up from the chair and Morgan followed suit. She came around the desk and put her arms around him giving him a squeeze, noting that he smelled a lot better than she thought he would in the past.
She turned away from him and headed for the door but before opening it, hand on the doorknob she turned around giving him one last looked over.
"I'll respect his wishes and not look for him." She said finally. She let go of the doorknob and reached into her purse pulling out a card and a pen, she wrote down a number on it and then handed it to him. "But if he ever needs me, for any reason at all. Or he needs help; I'll always be there for him."
Morgan nodded his understanding and took the card with her number on it and put it in his breast pocket of his jacket. With one last look she exited the office and walked out of the store.
She spent the rest of the day going to all 'their' places. Revisiting their favorite after mission diners and ice cream parlors. The movie theater and other places before finally ending up on the beach where she asked him to trust her.
And he did, explicitly, and she broke his heart.
Sarah watched the sunset into the ocean, allowing her thoughts to encompass nothing but Chuck for the first time in two years until the last ray of light diapered in to the horizon. Then Sarah stood up and walked away, ready to continue her life without Chuck.
A/N: So yes? no? Crap? Meh. I'm trying a new writing system so I'm hoping it makes my writing slightly better. Feel free to review. Next chapter in a day or two.