My crack ships will live on. Canon be damned!


'She's late.' Sasuke Uchiha looked at his watch for the third time in half an hour. His already sour mood had been amplified thanks to his date's tardiness. He refused the waiter's offer to refill his wine glass. Suddenly, a young woman carrying shopping bags made her way to him. Sasuke tried to prevent a gag at her overuse of perfume. Her face was painted with a ridiculous amount of makeup. She wore a short black skirt, and blue blouse that showed a significant amount of cleavage. If he had to compliment anything about her appearance it'd probably be her hair. It was simply straight and long.

'I'm gonna kill Itachi for swapping places.' His older brother was supposed to be having the date with her but had a last minute business meeting. He asked why he didn't just cancel but his father had opposed it. Apparently a new business partner of his had called him and set it up for his daughter. He was desperate to find a husband for her. That should have been his first red flag.

They ordered their meals and Sasuke frowned at the way Hinata refused to give their waiter a second look. She waved her hand to shoo him away and smiled at him. The conversation was immediately dominated by Hinata Hyuuga.

"Oh you are adorable. I knew that you Uchiha's were good- looking but yeesh, how are you still single? I bet you're wondering how I can say this, being single and all but I'm still looking for the perfect man. Looks, wealth, and power. I need someone to take care of all my needs. It's not selfish if you consider all the hard work it takes to look good. Can you imagine women you let themselves go? I mean pregnant women get a pass for like three months, then you better loose that weight if you want your husband to give you a second look, am I right?"

"…..Well-"Sasuke couldn't get a word in edgewise; he wasn't a chatterbox but he felt irritated. He was already contemplating his excuse to cut the date short and looked for the nearest exit. He ignored her rambling until she shoved a blue leather bag in his face.

"Can you believe that the saleslady asked me if I wanted a bag that was obviously hot last season? Uh gross. No thank you. How can they let people like that work in high end places? Not to mention it clashed horribly with my outfit. I guess not everyone can be as privileged as us. If we can't show our wealth, what's the point?"

'Another vain and greedy heiress.' "I'm sorry but I just remembered that I have an important meeting in a little bit and I'd like to get ready for it."

The heiress gave him a pout and tilted her head to the side. "So soon? But we were just getting to know each other. Should I have my assistant reschedule another date, honey? Somewhere that's more suitable for people like us."

'Like hell.' "No I think it's better if we didn't. You are simply not my type and I hope the poor bastard that ends up with you has a quick death. To be by your side for life is the cruelest punishment of all." Sasuke knew that if his dad found out what he'd said, life would be hell. But damn it all, people like this need to be given a reality check.

Her eyes began to water and he walked away. Her sobs grew hysterical and turning back, he saw her go into the ladies restroom with her bags. He sighed and walked up to the valet, asking for his car. It was taking forever and a fellow valet offered to call him when it arrived, in the meanwhile he could take a seat in the lobby.

Pulling out his phone, he began to draft a series of angry texts to send to Itachi. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of indigo hair. Cursing under his breath, he ducked behind a large potted plant. For a moment, he thought it was another woman. The outfit was different, more conservative, and her face was free of most of her old make up. But it was her. Sasuke was about to demand an explanation when she answered a call.

"Tenten?...Yeah it worked! Excellent researching, he didn't even last the full date! I even cried but he didn't even look back!... I seriously owe you; this bought me a couple of weeks." She was giddy and twirling, not carrying how foolish she looked. "Oh, that reminds me. I need to give a generous tip to our waiter. I feel so bad…I know, I know…Oh, don't worry. I'll just walk, I feel like going to the park and basking in this feeling. Okay, bye!"

'That sly little…'

Hinata ran back to the maître d' and Sasuke could see him call their waiter over. She bowed and handed him some cash. He was seriously contemplating going over and demanding to know about her little game.

It was strange that he was so desperate to know. This frees him as well, but he could help to be curious. Most women would kill someone to date any Uchiha, yet here she was sabotaging her one shot.

A meek voice interrupted his thoughts. "Um, sir? Your vehicle is waiting." Sasuke followed the valet out the restaurant. He took his keys and handed a tip before getting in his car. He was starting his car when he saw her exit and practically skip to the nearby park. He grit his teeth and drove off, looking back every now and then until she was out of sight.

"Whatever, her loss."

As expected, his family was eager to know how it'd gone. One look from Sasuke gave them their answer and his parents walked away disappointed. Itachi tried getting more information out of him but it was fruitless. The Hyuuga heiress soon was pushed out of his mind weeks later thanks to the numerous projects he was heading.

.

.

.

"You should really take a lunch break. Mother will kill us if she hears that you've immersed yourself in all this work without taking proper care of yourself." Sasuke looked at Itachi and surrendered quite easily. He was tired of looking at all these numbers. Refusing his brother's invitation to eat together, he decided to try the Korean BBQ that opened earlier this year.

A large man welcomed him and sat him in a booth by himself. He tried to occupy his mind with anything but work and his mind kept coming back to the girl who didn't seem to desire him at all. It was a refreshing change yet he still felt insulted. He began to think he'd lost it when he heard her voice coming from the booth next to him.

"I mean I can't stand places like that. How can they allow people like us and people like them eating in the same vicinity? Excuse me but VIP exists for a reason. This place was a great choice, no trash around here." The silence gave Sasuke an indication that she was probably with a male. "Gaara, you really should talk more. Everyone will think you're a mute! Not that it's a bad thing but I wonder if you're silent even in bed." She laughed and Sasuke felt for the poor guy, wondering how long it would take until he bolted for the exit like he had.

His meal arrived and Sasuke suddenly felt like he had dinner and a show. He tried to stifle his laughs and almost spit out his drink at her numerous attempts to be the worst date ever. Before he was done eating, he finally heard the male talk.

"I would usually offer to take you to your home but I have a prior engagement. Will you be alright finding your own ride back home?"

"Yup. I can call any of my numerous drivers. I love being rich. Well, this has been fun but I have a feeling you don't-"

"We should try this again." Sasuke almost choked on his food. 'What the hell?'

Hinata was silent and as Sasuke forced the bite down, he smirked. 'Uh oh. Try getting out of this.'

"S-s-sure. Um, this is…a great excuse to cancel…my trip to the orphanage. Yeah that. I never liked brats, let alone those without any adult supervision." Sasuke mentally congratulated Hinata on her latest attempt.

"I look forward to it, Miss Hyuuga. I'll order dessert for you before I leave and have the bill added to my account. Goodbye." Sasuke sat back and tried to look normal as a well-dressed red-haired man walked past his booth. He could hear soft sobbing next to him and felt the need to talk to her when a dessert tray was sent her way.

After a few minutes, her pity party got on his last nerves and he made his way to her. Her appearance wasn't that different than when he first met her. "What's your problem?" Her lavender eyes looked at him and he could see her recognize him instantly. Their date was obviously still fresh on her mind. She tried to bolt out of there but her pulled her elbow and forced her to sit down.

She glared at him. "What do you care? Aren't you the one who said death is a better option than to be stuck with me?"

"I did say that, didn't I? But you're playing this part to drive yourself away from your dates. Is it a game to you? Being cruel for a date and moving to a next victim?" Her eyes softened at the accusation then filled with guilt. Her gaze lowered to her lap.

"It's not exactly as cruel as you make it sound. I have my reasons." He narrowed his eyes and she played with the dessert tray before continuing. "I don't like being cruel and treating people like they are below me. I don't do this for every date. It depends on what can drive him away. Sometimes it's being a vain heiress, other times it's being anti-social or overly social. My friend finds out what she can about the guy and we come up with a strategy. It's worked every single time and I've never gone past the first date."

"Until torch head." She frowned at him.

"Gaara is nice, if a bit intimidating."

He scoffed. "But you still haven't said why. If you hate it so much, why do it?" She took a spoonful of chocolate mousse.

"To avoid being a caged bird." He looked confused. "It sounds stupid but I don't want to be stuck with a man who doesn't love me."

"Has it ever crossed your mind that you might meet prince charming if you didn't drive away anyone who looks at you?" Hinata sighed and shook her head.

"I wasn't opposed to being set up until after the first few dates. They'd always act one way when my father was around. But when we were left alone, they'd change their attitude. Every single time. It wasn't hard to see what they were after. It's my wealth, my last name, or my body. Usually in that order. Never caring to know me as a person. I refused to see anyone else until my father threatened to set an arranged marriage. If I accept to go on these dates, he'd see it as effort on my part. He doesn't know what I've been doing but every time I get 'rejected' he leaves me alone for a while before trying again."

Sasuke wasn't expecting this. He honestly thought she might be sadistic or bipolar.

"Is it wrong that I just want to meet someone who doesn't care what my family can do for them? I just want someone to care for me without any strings attached. That even without my last name and everything that comes with it, they'd stick by me. But it's hard when you live like we do, everyone knows everyone."

They stayed silent and Sasuke knew that his lunch was over but he didn't feel like leaving.

"I'm sorry for how I acted." He looked at her but she was still refusing to meet his gaze.

"How do you plan on having Gaara dump you?" She threw her head back in frustration.

"I don't know! Tenten couldn't find much on him so I went in blind. I tried so hard for him to get to rush out like the building was on fire but he actually wants to see me again. He even kissed my hand!" Sasuke found her outburst amusing. Her voice suddenly got softer. "I'm worried that he doesn't care how I acted because of the end goal. If my father approves, then I'm doomed. A little bird locked in her cage, singing a sad song with no one to listen."

"What would you do if you weren't stuck here going along with everything your father said?"

She smiled sadly at him. "I'd like to be free to travel the world. To see and meet new people, preferably anyone that hadn't heard of my family. Make more friends based off of true and pure intentions, and maybe even find my perfect guy. Not someone else's definition of perfect. Someone who values the precious things in life, not precious stones or metals. My perfect guy, who with his stare can make me feel like the perfect woman." She grinned and happily returned to her dessert.

"I wished you were honest-" Sasuke's phone suddenly went off and he pushed the ignore button. He was about to open his mouth again when the red-haired man suddenly stood in front of them. Hinata's eyes widened.

"I came back because I felt that the way we left things was a little improper. I should have offered you a ride." He glanced at Sasuke who tried to stare the man down with no success. "It was my sister." Sasuke raised his left eye brow in confusion. "She said that I should actually go past the first date because first impressions can be misleading. I guess that's true."

Hinata wiped her mouth frantically. "I'm so sorr-"

Gaara raised his hand to silence her. "I heard everything so there's no need to explain. Honestly, you did a great job with your acting. I was not about to propose anytime soon." Hinata giggled and he smiled. Sasuke scowled as Gaara sat on her other side.

"However, I would still like to go on another date. Preferably one where the true Hinata can show up. I think I'd like to meet her. How about tomorrow night? What do you say?" Hinata blushed and bit her lower lip.

"She's busy." Their eyes fell back on the man who felt ignored. He had no idea how those words came out automatically but he'd be damned if he was going to take them back. "I'm Sasuke Uchiha and I'm taking her out to dinner tomorrow."

"When did you decide this? I had only left for a minute. Hinata, did you make another date already?" Hinata glance back and forth at the two men and gulped. "No." Her answer was very hard to hear but they all still heard it.

Gaara smirked in satisfaction. "I guess you don't have any plans." Sasuke stood up.

"Hinata! Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?" Gaara mimicked Sasuke's actions and stood up immediately.

"How dare you? I've heard about the Uchiha's being petty and you sure aren't proving it otherwise. Childish, if you ask me!"

Their argument soon drew the attention of the entire restaurant and a short waiter tried to get the men to either calm down or leave. Dual death stares silenced his threat to have them escorted out. The poor girl in the middle of all this gloomily continued eating from the dessert tray, lamenting that everything got more complicated.


AN: Thank you for reading! That was fun. To be honest, there are no plans to take it further.

Gaahina or Sasuhina; it's all good.