Disclaimer: Own Toby...that's all. This gets old fast doesn't it?
A/N - For those of you who are wondering, yes I plan on getting my fics up to speed with the episodes .........it's just taking me a while. However, I have no more school in 1,2,3,4 5! days so after that I'll be on a writing spree!!! For now: Here's a strange little fic that came to mind after one too many 'your daughter has authority issues' meetings.
"You're serious?" Lance asked, raising an eyebrow at Pietro.
"Yeah, I mean, Jesus Pietro. Look at who he is," Todd said.
"What!?!" Pietro yelled, "just because my dad isn't 'normal' doesn't mean he won't come! And anyway, he said he was going to spend some quality time with me." At this Pietro gave Lance a smug 'ha-ha-I-told-you-so' look.
"QUALITY TIME!?!" Lance yelled, "your dad does not do 'quality time!' He does 'let's take over the world together son' and 'here's a Porsche now stop bugging me,' but he does not do 'quality time!' "
"You're just jealous!"
"Of what!?! Your ability to think your dad is normal and would think of a meeting with Principal Kelly because of your authority issues as a good way to bond with his son!?!"
"No! You're jealous because I'm good looking and have a father who doesn't mind doing family stuff!"
"For the last time! Magneto does not. Do. FAMILY STUFF!" Lance roared.
"10 bucks says he does!" Pietro retorted.
"You're on!" Lance grinned, smacking Pietro's upturned palm to seal the deal. "This is going to be the easiest 10 bucks I ever make."
"I'm going to ring him now," Pietro said, zipping to the phone at superspeed.
"Just make sure I get my 10 bucks!" Lance called after.
- - -
Magneto looked out over his group of mutants with a steely gaze. "Gentlemen, to start today's meeting I would just like to say that we are coming closer to our goal of world domination. Many mutants are willing to join my, errrr 'our' cause and - "
"Sir," a nervous mutant tapped the master of magnetism on the shoulder, "there's a call for you."
"Always when I'm in a meeting," Magneto sighed, passing a hand over his brow, "put it on the screen."
He settled into his chair and turned to face the massive screen that looked over the meeting table. The screen blinked into life.
"Hi Daddy!" Pietro grinned, waving a hand.
"Pietro," Magneto said. He did not sound amused.
"I wanted to ask you if you can come to a school thing," Pietro said, widening his sapphire eyes and blinking lots.
"I'm kind of busy at the moment Pietro," Magneto said through gritted teeth.
"But you're always too busy!" Pietro wailed, making his eyes go all wet and teary, "you never have time for me anymore. You said we were going to do some family stuff! You said you would spend some quality time with me away from work!"
"I'll do it soon!" Magneto snapped. Behind him his henchmen looked at one another, some with raised eyebrows.
"That's what you said about the fishing trip Eric!" Pietro snapped back, "when has that ever happened!?! Huh!?! Hell will probably freeze over before that happens! Or I'll loose my virginity, oh wait! That already happened only you didn't know that do you because you're never around!!!"
"You what!?!" Magneto yelled.
"Oops," Pietro covered his mouth with a hand, "did I say that out loud?? Well, better go. I wouldn't want to interrupt your precious meeting now would I?" He began to put the phone down.
"Wait!" Magneto cried, "I want to talk about this!"
"Okay, on one condition," Pietro smirked. "You have to come talk to my Principal and convince him that I don't have 'authority problems', that it's my teacher's fault and she's a lying whore."
"Pietro....." Magneto's voice reached a low and dangerous pitch.
"Or I could just while away the hours fucking strangers," Pietro sighed, "oh me, oh my, what an unguided life I lead. If only I had a father figure." He glared at his father.
"Shhh," Magneto hissed, casting a quick glance over his shoulder at the mutants behind him.
"Oh yes, we wouldn't want your precious 'henchmen' to know what a dysfunctional family you have. Now are you coming or not?"
"Fine!" Magneto snapped, "but only because I want to take this conversation further at a better time!"
"See you tomorrow then," Pietro grinned, "5:00 sharp!" And the screen went blank.
Silence descended on the table. Magneto's henchmen looked around them uncomfortably.
"Ahhhh," one ventured, "nice son you've got Boss."
"SHUT UP!!!" Magneto roared.
- - -
"Lance, you owe me $10," Pietro smirked.
"What!?!" Lance yelled, "you're fucking joking!?!"
"He's not," Todd said, giving Lance and apologetic shrug. "I listened to the whole conversation as witness. He's going. Though may I say: Pietro, your family's fucked up yo."
"And yours is perfect," Pietro snapped. He turned to Lance, "fork the cash over Blanche."
"Lousy stinking boss," Lance muttered as he reached into his back pocket. "Stupid unpredictable mannerisms. Stupid, whiney daddy's boy always getting his way."
"Thank you," Pietro snatched $15 from Lance.
"Hey! No swiping extra!" Lance made a grab for the cash.
"The other $5 is abuse tax," Pietro said, easily keeping the money out of Lance's reach and shoving it into his wallet.
"I'll give you a reason to claim abuse tax!" Lance said, raising a fist.
"Don't think Magneto would like you to hit his only son," Pietro chided, "especially as he'll be here tomorrow and I can show bruises and scrapes!"
"You always win," Lance cried in exasperation, "it's not fair! Why can I never win?"
"Beauty and brains before brawn and well, bad taste," Pietro gave a brilliant smile. "Ciao Lance, I'm off to buy dinner."
"I don't want pizza again!!" Lance called after Pietro, who had of course, already gone.
The Next Day
"Pietro!" Lance yelled over his shoulder, "daddy's here!"
"Bye!" Pietro waved a hand and sped outside to where his father had just pulled up in a slate gray BMW. Magneto stepped out of the car...............................wearing his cape and helmet with his normal civilian clothes.
"Dad!" Pietro yelped, squealing to a halt on the tarmac and blinking in surprise at his father. "What are you doing!?!"
"Coming to your stupid teacher thing," Magneto answered.
"Exactly!" Pietro snapped, folding his arms and scowling, "so why are you dressed like you're an extra in a c-grade movie!?!"
"I - "
"No! I don't want to hear it! Take it off!"
Magneto scowled at his son and pulled off his red helmet. "We better be talking about your other issue after this."
"And the cape," Pietro ignored his father's comment and tapped his foot at superspeed.
"Do I have to?" Magneto asked, giving his son a pleading look.
"But every good villain has a cape!"
"And we're going not going to a super villain conference! Now take it off!"
"Can't I just hold it to my sides so it doesn't billow out?"
"Okay, okay fine! There better be drinks at this place like you promised."
"Yeah....about that," Pietro said.
"You.....are in so much trouble," Magneto growled between gritted teeth.
Principal Kelly's Office
Kelly smiled to himself as he straightened his tie. Finally he would be able to talk to one of the parents of that delinquent group of boys. He had had never expected a reply to his letter claiming that it was necessary to have a discussion with Mr. Maximoff's, 'parental guardian' about his 'authority issues.' He would not screw this up.
He smiled at Mrs. Garver as she walked into the office. "Alright Samantha?" he asked.
"Yes," she smiled, "finally we can have Pietro taught some manners. I'm glad his father is coming. I'm sure he'll see it from our point of view."
Just then there was a knock at the door. "Come in," Principal Kelly called out.
"Your 5:00 appointment Mr. Kelly," the secretary said, opening the door and ushering Pietro Maximoff in after a tall, blue eyed, white-haired man. He had a cold, steely gaze and he was extremely well built. A surprise to Kelly considering his son's slender frame, though that was of course, no reflection on the strength Pietro Maximoff held. Kelly had seen him in gym, he was good. Very good.
"Mr. Maximoff," Kelly smiled brilliantly and extended a hand.
"Lensher," the man said, eyeing his hand with distaste.
"I'm sorry?" Kelly frowned, taken aback.
"Mr. Lensher. Not Maximoff. Pietro didn't take my last name."
"Ahhh, I see," Kelly answered, raising an eyebrow.
"How long is this going to take?" Magneto said, sitting in the chair opposite Kelly. "I have other things to do. I'm a busy man."
"I'm sure you are Mr. Lensher," Kelly nodded, "but I'm sure you'll find the issue my teacher has with your son to be important as well." He waited for an answer from Magneto. The white-haired man only raised an eyebrow in a demeaning manner as if to say 'you have no idea how little you mean to me.' Kelly had seen that exact same look on Pietro's face. In fact, Pietro was a mirror of his father, the same sapphire eyes, white hair and high cheekbones, and it seemed, possibly the same attitude towards authority. 'This is going to crash and burn. I know it will.........' Kelly thought as he watched Eric Lensher's face.
"Well?" Magneto asked, his voice impatient. Beside him Pietro smirked as Kelly squirmed.
"Ahh, Mrs. Garver would you like to explain the situation?" Kelly turned to the staff member.
"Certainly," Mrs. Garver said crisply, leaning forward in her chair and clasping her hands together. "Mr. Lensher, your son is a constant disruption to my class. He undermines my authority constantly, he never listens, and he disrupts other students. I want to know why. He's a very smart young man, and has such an enormous amount of potential. I think that maybe - " she stopped when she saw that Magneto's attention was wavering. "Mr. Lensher?"
"Huh? What?" Magneto said, "oh thank god you've finished talking."
"Excuse me!?!" Mrs. Garver gasped.
"He doesn't like you very much," Pietro said, leaning forward towards his teacher as if to confide in her.
"Mr. Lensher," Principal Kelly began, "I think maybe you should listen to this, your son's education is at hand. His future."
"Ha!" Magneto snorted, "let me tell you something about my son's future. He will spend the rest of the next 15 years preening himself to be the very best! And he better make it! But he's not going to achieve anything from a school that squashes potential leadership. So take away your whiney lackey Mr. Kelly, and get off my back!" Magneto snarled. "No wonder he's such a push over! Look at his role models! A middle aged woman and a skinny young man of an inferior race!"
"I am not a push over!!" Pietro snapped.
"Why can't you ever win any of your fights!?!" Magneto turned on his son. "You're an embarrassment to me! To my entire mission in life! You know what I'm seen as? Not the powerful, feared leader with the strong son! Oh no! I'm seen as the powerful, feared leader with the spoilt brat!"
"Why you.........you are such an arsehole I can't even begin to contend with you!" Pietro snapped back, glaring hard at his father, "I bought you here for a reason, so you could sort this out like a normal father! But noooooooooo, you have to go into your 'world domination' theme and make everything into a big fucking mess!! You never do anything with me! Ever! You're always busy, you never talk to me, you never do dad stuff! The only reason you even came tonight is because I used blackmail and told you there were free drinks!"
"Oh. Kay," Kelly said, holding up his hands as if to push the fighting father and son apart by sheer will power, "I think you two need to take some deep breaths and - "
"SHUT UP KELLY!" yelled the two relations, turning to glare at him in perfect unison.
"Okay," Kelly gulped, sitting back down with a thump as he caught a glimpse of the burning rage in Magneto's sapphire eyes.
"Do something," Mrs. Garver hissed to Kelly as she cast a quick glance at Pietro and Magneto.
"I wish I could," Kelly groaned, putting his head in his hands, "I just can't deal with it anymore. Even the parents are insane!!!"
"We're leaving!" Magneto snapped, snatching hold of Pietro's arm and yanking his son to his feet.
"Let go of me!" Pietro spat out.
"You forget who's in charge here Pietro," Magneto hissed, "I'd watch my tongue if I where you. Or I might find myself back in jail."
"You wouldn't dare!!" Pietro shot back.
Pietro stared at his father, his perfectly shaped brows bought into a terrible scowl as he regarded the man he called father. "Fine." Pietro said sulkily. Magneto raised an eyebrow. "Sir," Pietro added, looking at the floor.
Magneto turned to the stunned teacher and the resigned Principal, "I hope that in future Mr. Kelly, you will refrain from involving me in such trivial and unimportant matters. Goodnight." And with that Magneto left, Pietro dragging his feet after him.
The Drive Home
"I am never speaking to you again," Pietro growled as he scowled into the darkness ahead of them, his shoulders hunched and his arms folded.
"Too bad because we have other things to discuss," Magneto said, turning to cast a glance at his son.
"What could you possibly have to say to me?" Pietro asked.
"Let's talk about your little slip in your phone call shall we?" Magneto raised an eyebrow.
"That?" Pietro said nervously, "I was just joking Eric. Heh heh..............Daddy?.......I love you?"
"So we're having sex now are we?" Magneto asked.
"Ahhh...." Pietro looked about uncertainly.
"I hope you aren't being foolish because you know what happens then don't you? You end up with teenage sons who don't know what's good for them!"
"Oh, always back to you isn't it Dad? It's all blahblahblah me me me! No wonder I have authority issues!"
"We are talking about you!"
"No we're not; we're talking about you!"
"We are not!"
"Shut up you dysfunctional little brat! I'm serious about this! Now tell me. Honestly. How many girls?"
"I'm not speaking to you now," Pietro turned up his nose, "you called me names. I bet if mother were here she would've done the right thing. She would have been a parent!"
"Pietro don't you ever - "
"La la la! I'm not listening! You're just a big fart face with a helmet and a cape! La la la!"
"I'm sorry? Fart face?"
"See, I'm a brat. I'm childish and can't do anything for myself. I have the language skills of a 5 year old. Look at me, look at me I'm such an idiot!" Pietro snapped.
"How. Many. Girls. Pietro?"
"I don't know! I lost count a few years back."
"Oh my god this just goes from bad to worse to fucking atomic bomb worse."
"I don't want to talk about this with you."
"You're being weird about it. Just like you were super weird about that meeting. Why can't you be normal?"
"I run an underground group of mutants who plan to take over the earth Pietro! How 'normal' can I get!?!"
"You could pretend."
"See! You won't compromise! It's all 'my way or the highway now sit down or I'll bust your ass!' Now suddenly you're the perfect father and want to make sure I know about the birds and the bees?"
"You.......you just better watch it young man," Magneto snarled.
"Or what? You'll shut me in my room to think it over? Please. I'm 16 dad. Almost 17!"
"You still act like you did when you were 8!" Magneto shot back. He screamed around the corner of the Brotherhood's street and headed for the Brotherhood house. "And maybe putting you in your room wouldn't be such a bad idea!"
Pietro snorted, his eyes still fixed ahead. "I'd like to see you do that 'dad.' "
The BMW slid to an abrupt halt across the Brotherhood's driveway. Magneto turned to face his son, his eyes dangerous. He regarded his son for some time with steely eyes and then he said, very quietly, "okay. That's it."
Pietro's eyes widened when he realized what was going through his father's head. "Eeeep!" Pietro squeaked and he made for the door. He had it halfway open before an enormous force sent the door slamming shut once again. "Oww daddy don't!" Pietro yelped as Magneto grabbed the his arm and yanked him out of the car. "You can't do this!! I'm too old for this kind of treatment! You can't drag me in like this! The guys won't respect me anymore! I'll hate you forever!!! Oh please don't do this." Pietro dug his heels into the ground and pulled back with all his might. "Ha! Hit the stairs now! You'll never get my feet off the - hey! What are you doing!! Put me down! This is so undignified! No don't put me over your shoul - offf! Hey watch it! You almost winded me! I want a lawyer! HELP! HELP! I'M BEING REPRESSED!"
The Brotherhood, who'd all been sitting in the lounge watching tv stuck their heads around the door frame. Magneto walked past, so mad you could almost see lightening crackling around him, with Pietro slung over his right shoulder. Pietro was ranting and raving, beating his father's back with his fists as he continued his mile a minute indignant rant. "Put me down!!! Do it or I'll call child support! I'll tell them you hurt small animals! I'll tell them you hit us with a belt every day and you do it because you hate us........and that you're worst with me! They'll lock you up! Put me down you stubborn bastard!!!! NOW!" They disappeared up the stairs and a few seconds later there was a loud slam of a door.
"Should we do something?" Todd hissed.
Toby, who's eyes were wide and his mouth half open in astonishment turned to look at Lance.
"Na-ah! We stay out of the family thing," Lance said, shaking his head vigorously.
There was a loud crash and seconds later Magneto could be heard yelling, "how the hell did you get out of your room you little shit! Get back in there this instant!"
"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LKE THAT!?!"
"Leave!" Lance yelped, "NOW!" The Brotherhood ran outside at top speed just as everything metal in the house began to fly around.
"Ummm, I think we should go somewhere safer," Freddy said as he looked at the pans, forks and knives that were flying around in the kitchen. Upstairs Magneto's deep voice swore loudly and Pietro's slightly higher voice could be heard taunting and teasing.
"Yeah," Lance said, "good idea. We'll take my car and come back later."
The stove came crashing through the kitchen window and the door fell off with a loud BANG!
"Much later," Lance added.